Tag: comedy

  • Bumperpodcast #13 – Apologetic & Apoplectic

    Bumperpodcast #13 – Apologetic & Apoplectic

    We get into some moderadelty hot waters with listeners – after some ill advised money grubbing schemes are brought to light.

    Apologetic and Apopleptic.

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    About This Episode

    In episode 13 of Bumperpodcast, host Natty Bumpercar addresses a major crisis after last week's episode apparently crossed some serious lines. His lawyer, Mott the Sheep, has informed him that asking listeners for credit card information was completely inappropriate, and now Natty is in full damage control mode. Angry emails written in ALL CAPS have been flooding in from furious listeners who thought they were just being pals with the show. A flustered and apologetic Natty attempts to walk back his requests for credit cards and lakefront property schemes, admitting he didn't understand he was breaking the law. This hilarious episode captures Natty's innocent confusion about basic legal boundaries and his earnest attempts to make things right.

    Memorable Quotes

    “I thought we were all being pals I thought we were gonna get on the ground floor and all of those dreams have gone kapoofing”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “According to my lawyer Mott the Sheep that was totally and completely inappropriate”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “Something that I also that I was I just learned this week is when people type in capitals that means that they're yelling”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #apology #creditcards #legaltroubles #crisismanagement #scams #misunderstandings #comedy

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: it has been brought to the bumper podcast's attention i am the bumper podcast well i mean i've you know natty bumper car but this is my bumper podcast that last week maybe we crossed some lines maybe we started asking people for money maybe we started asking for credit cards to be sent to us or credit card information and evidently according to my lawyer mott the sheep that was totally and completely inappropriate so what i'd like for us all to do is back up off the ledge calm down a little bit and don't send me your credit card information i didn't know that i was doing something terribly wrong but mott thankfully has my back and he says that we what we are in right now is crisis mode we're at code because things have gotten that bad people are people are emailing me furious they're writing things in all capital letters capital capital capital capital capital capital capital and they're they're evidently something that i also that i was i just learned this week is when people type in capitals that means that they're yelling it's if if i could yell at you through this email i'd be doing it in capital letters and so sir who asks me for my do you know that i feed my family with this credit card do you know that i put vacations on this credit card and sometimes the occasional uh dry goods i don't know you know beans um rice uh whole i don't uh granola mate i don't know if that's a granola like these things are the things that i put on my credit card not sir some sort of lakefront property where someone's gonna be staring at sheep uh goats on a mountain no sir i say well i again you can tell i'm bristled i am i am uh i am apologizing and i am apoplectic at myself for not knowing the lay of the land for not knowing the law the lay of the law the lay of the land the law of the law i didn't know i thought we were all being pals i thought we were gonna get on the ground floor and all of those dreams have gone kapoofing

    Unknown: you

  • Bumperpodcast #12 – Inventions

    Bumperpodcast #12 – Inventions

    Ooh! It’s invention time . . . But – do we actually ever get to talk about the inventions?!

    Listen to find out.

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    About This Episode

    In episode 12 of Bumperpodcast, host Natty Bumpercar excitedly announces plans to share groundbreaking invention ideas with listeners, promising to get them in on the ground floor of these opportunities. The episode takes a humorous turn as Natty gets sidetracked discussing the frustrations of buying too many hot dog and hamburger buns for barbecues, pondering the impracticality of grilled cheese on hot dog buns. The conversation meanders further into discussion of investment properties near a lake and mountain where goats frolic, which apparently helps Natty think better and develop inventions. Despite promising to reveal these amazing inventions, Natty never actually describes any of them, instead focusing on requesting listeners' credit card information and praising their productive "blue sky-in" and "spitball-in" session.

    Memorable Quotes

    “What are you going to do with a hot dog bun if you're not eating a hot dog on it? You can't do anything with it, is what I'm telling you.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “There's goats who live on the mountain. They like to watch the goats frolic. They'll start at the bottom of the mountain. And then they'll frolic up the mountain.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “I mean, it can only get better from here, right?”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #inventions #businessideas #barbecue #rambling #investment #comedy #picnics #entrepreneurship

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: hello there bumper podcast how do you do today pretty well i'm hoping well you should be well because today we here these papers are gonna do what we were gonna do last week i'm gonna tell you about some inventions i'm gonna get you guys in on the ground floor these are opportunities that you cannot miss out on because i'm well because i'm because i'm gonna tell you about them but what i'm saying is you're gonna know about them before anybody knows about them so let's talk about number one right here you're gonna go to a picnic maybe you pick you have a barbecue grill at your house that you like to barbecue on and you're sent out to the store go get some buns okay well we're eating hot dogs and hamburgers i but i don't want two packages of buns i don't it's too many buns and they're gonna go bad And, you know, what are you going to do with a hot dog bun if you're not eating a hot dog on it? You can't do anything with it, is what I'm telling you. You can't have a grilled cheese on a hot dog. Well, I guess you could. I wouldn't recommend it. Cheese could be everywhere. So what I'm going to be selling to you… No, wait. I'm not selling you anything. I feel… Okay. That's my fault. We're not selling things. Getting you in on the ground floor here. What I'm doing is just telling you about things. But if you… I mean, at the end of the episode, if you want to email me your credit card information, then that would be fine. And, you know, we were looking at some investment property at the lake. There's a mountain. We're looking at some investment properties where there's a lake. And there's a mountain near it. And there's goats who live on the mountain. And, you know… They like to watch the goats frolic. They'll start at the bottom of the mountain. And then they'll frolic up the mountain. And then they'll go to sleep in the sun. And… So it's not even just the lake that's making me want to go to this place and get this house. This investment property for the business. No. Well, yes. It is. And it's because I do better thinking there. And then I can come up with better inventions to bring your way to get you in what we're doing right now. We're spreading the wealth. So don't forget. What I need you to do is send me your credit card information. BumperPodcast at NattyBumperCar.com And really, I think with what we've talked about today, I think we're on the same page. You know, we did a little blue sky-in. A little spitball-in. And, uh… Wow. I mean, it can only get better from here, right?

  • Bumperpodcast #10

    Bumperpodcast #10

    A baby is born . . . and sometimes he makes some noises – I try to figure out some of the noises.

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    About This Episode

    In this episode of Bumperpodcast, host Natty Bumpercar announces exciting news that's been spreading through all communication channels: there's a baby! After encouraging the studio audience to clap loudly enough, Natty brings out the baby who promptly begins crying. The episode features Natty's humorous observations about the constantly crying newborn, including jokes about the baby's New York origins affecting his sounds ("gaga goo goo") versus Natty's Southern baby babble. Throughout the segment, Natty attempts to soothe the dancing, crying baby while reflecting on the challenges and sweetness of caring for an adorable but vocal infant. The episode ends with Natty trying to get the baby to sleep.

    Memorable Quotes

    “he was born in new york so he's like gaga goo goo hey you know because that's what he sounds like”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “as long as he's doing his baby dance crying his baby dance crying i think that everything's going to work out for the world”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #babies #parenting #crying #newyork #regionalhumor #infantcare #comedy

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: bumper podcast news this is news this is news you don't know or maybe you know it's been all over the emails it's been all over the texts it's been all over the cell phones and the landlines and snail mail there's a baby that's right there's a baby you guys want to meet him i bet we could if if you clap loud enough we can bring him out let's hear it yeah that's a good clap a good cheer for the studio audience here at the bumper podcast let's bring that baby out everybody let's see what he has to say oh nice music baby coming out oh oh no oh you guys the baby cries he cries all the time how do i mean he's really cute he's adorable he's so sweet but yeah you see he cries a lot and it's sad when he cries a lot because you don't know what to do for him because he's just a teeny tiny little baby you know what let's let's drop the music and then yeah we can have just a a nice little crying baby in the background just to let us all just put us all in the same mindset right and that's a lot of crying let's put a little bit of music in the background a little there a little more dancing dancing baby crying dancing baby crying dancing baby crying yeah okay i got it okay so he doesn't only cry i've heard him make other noises before he uh at one point he was like gaga goo goo or you know like gaga gaga goo goo because he's he was born in new york so he's like gaga goo goo hey you know because that's what he sounds like uh when i was a baby i was born in the south and so i was like gaga wait i was like gaga goo goo no that doesn't sound like it but he i don't know what i sounded like i was like and he's like oh like i don't even he doesn't sound like that either he sounds you know a lot more let's be honest like you know like this and holy beans is that depressing but it's you know it's fine that's the noise he has he's got little lungs he's got to work them out he's gotta do a little bit of work in that and as long as he's doing his baby dance crying his baby dance crying i think that everything's going to work out for the world so Baby, you should go to sleep. It's time to go to sleep. Alright, I am the Bumper Podcast. You guys are great, but I have a baby, and he is even greater.

  • Bumperpodcast #9

    Bumperpodcast #9

    Needing a new camera . . . I stumble upon a much worse idea . . . A traveling portrait artist . . . Poodle.

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    About This Episode

    In episode 9 of Bumperpodcast, Natty Bumpercar embarks on a hilarious quest to find a new camera for upcoming events. From researching daguerreotypes to seeking out a mythical camera bird inspired by a TV show, Natty's search takes an absurd turn. Unable to find the perfect bird-powered camera, Natty instead hires Doodle Poodle, a portrait artist with his own voicemail announcement, to follow him around and draw pictures. The plan quickly backfires when the peppermint-scented, screaming poodle proves too much to handle, and Producer helps Doodle Poodle escape before Natty can even fire him.

    Memorable Quotes

    “I looked up bird, I looked up camera bird, bird camera and nothing came up.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “There was a screaming poodle who was in my house and following me around wanting to draw pictures of my baby and I'm pretty sure that he smelled a little bit like peppermint.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “Wait are you serious? Did I just get walked out on by them? I didn't even get a chance to fire him.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #cameras #photography #technology #doodlepoodle #hiringmishaps #portraitart #comedy

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar, Producer, Doodle Poodle

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: all right bumper podcast it is your wednesday and we are gonna jump right into it here's a thing i was on a mission i had to get a new camera because we have things that are happening that i'm gonna want to take a picture of i wanted to get a camcorder and i didn't know what to do and so i did a lot of research and you know i was just like well i've heard daguerreotypes are really nice you know i've heard silver tents um there was a television show at one point that i was watching and you know they had a bird who actually lived inside of a box like inside of a camera and and you he would he would make the picture with his beak and and i thought that was maybe the best option but i i went on you know the big uh the big internet website there where they sell things and i couldn't find it i looked i looked everywhere i looked i looked up bird i looked up uh camera bird bird camera and and and and nothing came up and so what i ended up doing was kind of along that line along that vein uh i couldn't find a camera bird and so i i said you know what i i think that maybe what we should do is we should just hire a portrait artist and and have him come around with us everywhere we go hello boy

    Producer: boys and girls let's see what doodle boodle is drawing right now

    Natty Bumpercar: yeah and that was the worst part of the whole thing well you'll see maybe it's not the worst part but he came with his own voicemail oh hi everybody it's me

    Doodle Poodle: it's so great that you hired me

    Natty Bumpercar: yeah on second thought and i don't even know how this is on a second thought because i clearly that that was the worst part was that there was a screaming poodle who was in my house and following me around wanting to draw pictures of my baby and i'm pretty sure that he smelled a little bit like peppermint so

    Producer: hey dp what say we blow this joint

    Natty Bumpercar: wait are you serious did i just get walked out on by them i didn't even get a chance to fire him unmitigated disaster all right bumper podcast at nattybumpercar.com

  • Bumperpodcast #6

    Bumperpodcast #6

    It’s the quietest episode yet . . . Gotta get ready to be sneaky around the baby.

    So hhhhuuuusssshhhhhh it down.

    Pretty please?!

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    About This Episode

    In Bumperpodcast episode #6, host Natty Bumpercar attempts to keep everyone quiet in preparation for a baby's arrival. Despite his best efforts to maintain a whisper-friendly environment, chaos ensues when a noisy duck and Mott the sheep interrupt the proceedings. Natty brainstorms unconventional sleeping spots for the baby, including drawers, a file cabinet, and even a dishwasher. The episode showcases the classic Bumperpodcast humor as Natty struggles to enforce quiet time while his puppet friends create comedic mayhem.

    Memorable Quotes

    “I got a couple of drawers, got a file cabinet, I think we have some… there's a closet over there, obviously, there's the dishwasher, a lot of places for this baby to sleep.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “Just because some little duck comes in and starts going all and just because Mott the sheep decides he wants to bowl in like sheep… we're supposed to be keeping it quiet!”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #babies #preparation #chaos #friendship #comedy #whispering

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar

    Full Transcript

    Unknown: Hey, wait, no, shh, quiet, quiet, quiet, quiet, quiet, everybody!

    Natty Bumpercar: Thank you, that's better. We're trying to get better at being a little bit more quiet around here. You know, doing a little whispering. Because, you know, well, there's a tiny little baby about to be here. So, could you please keep it down? I understand, you know, we're talking on the microphone, and we're broad, we're telling, you know, whatever, talking, we're doing some talking. But, and this isn't now, there's no baby here right this second. But any minute now, in the next few weeks, there could be a tiny baby sleeping. Maybe, right here, on the desk, maybe, I'm not sure where he's gonna sleep. And I mean, I got a couple of drawers, got a file cabinet, I think we have some, uh, some, there's a closet over there, obviously, there's the dishwasher, a lot of places for this baby to sleep. But we need to keep it quiet. Alright, maybe we can tell ghost stories, that's what people do when they're being really quiet. Alright. Alright, seriously? Oh, what's going on? Mott, what have you been up to? Yeah, I know, summer is almost done. I'm going into winter, never really had a summer. Do you hear my raspy voice? Yeah, I know, it's kind of my pirate type of voice. Arrr, isn't it terrible that summer came and never stayed? Wait… Isn't it terrible… Isn't it terrible… that summer never came i understand you know here's the thing though everybody we were supposed to be whispering and so just because some little duck comes in and starts going all and just because mott the sheep decides he wants to bowl in like sheep and start yeah well we're supposed to be keeping it quiet we're supposed to be keeping it down because who cares about the duck and who cares about the sheep we gotta make sure that the baby sleeps so we gotta be in practice because we gotta be ready because we gotta be right am i right right