Tag: comedy

  • Bumperpodcast #134 – Bear song

    Bumperpodcast #134 – Bear song

    It’s like a singing telegram came knocking on your door to make your world that much better … That’s right! Natty Bumpercar sings you a sweet tune about a bear in this week’s episode of the Bumperpodcast – so – hold onto your seats – because it is probably going to get funky.

    Have you been telling all of your friends to listen?? Let us know by sending an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com – and then we’ll all be happier!

    I just want to be happy!


    About This Episode

    In this episode of Bumperpodcast, Natty Bumpercar attempts to perform an improvised song about a bear in underoos, but quickly realizes his songwriting process has gone off the rails. He reflects on his spontaneous approach to songwriting, typically composing the first six to eight words in his head before winging the rest. After admitting the song didn't work out well initially, Natty gives it another try with rhymes about bears, pears, and air. The episode showcases Natty's comedic struggle with impromptu creativity and his honest assessment of his own musical abilities.

    Memorable Quotes

    “Usually, what I end up doing is I end up writing the first six to twelve, six to eight words, and then seeing if I can just wing it from there. Today, it didn't work out so well.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “I saw a bear. He was over there. He was walking around in his underoos. It was quite a scare.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “When people come up to me and they say, Hey, Bumper Car, I've got a song that I want to sing to you, I say, I don't believe you. I want to see some documentation.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #songwriting #improvisation #bears #creativity #music #comedy #self-deprecation

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: oh he comes back with a snap and he's gonna go a little something like this because i wrote you a song today and i'm gonna sing it and it goes like something i forget the beginning but it says like oh i saw a bear he was over there he was walking around in his underoos a bear it was quite a scare and so then i looked for some other words that rhymed it with i breathed some air i uh ate a pear i oh god this song really went off the rails there didn't it really it's like bear there air pear scare I think you probably do, and I understand. Sometimes, when people come up to me and they say, Hey, Bumper Car, I've got a song that I want to sing to you. It's a song that I just wrote. You know what I say to them? I say, I don't believe you. I don't believe you just wrote a song for me at all. I want to see some documentation. I want to see some lyric sheets, and I want to see some notes on some pieces of paper, song paper. Is there a name for that stuff? I don't know. I just write songs in my head. Usually, what I end up doing is I end up writing the first six to twelve, six to eight words, and then seeing if I can just wing it from there. Today, it didn't work out so well. I saw a bear. He was over there. He was walking around in his underoos. It was quite a scare. I breathed some air, and then I sat and ate a pear. I walked on over, and I asked that bear if he would enjoy playing truth or dare. I mean, it sounds better now that we kind of, uh, no. Is it a great song? I don't know. Are you going to be walking around today humming about a bear who was over there, who was walking around in his underoos? Quite a scare. I ate a pear. I ate a pear. I don't know. Bummer podcast. Help!

  • Some jokes …

    • I always love pulling the wool over the eyes of octopuses … They are such suckers!
    • My floor creaks every time I move – so – I’ve decided to unpack and stay awhile.
    • At the water cooler – I’m the guy who loves to ask people it the water seems really “room temperature-ish” today …
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  • Bumperpodcast 129 – Skadoodle

    Bumperpodcast 129 – Skadoodle

    Bumpercar is back and he is officially healthy wealthy and wise … or at least part of one of those. We learn about the Mountain Top Wizard and the dress code to go and see him and we finally get Bumpercar’s stance on sweater vests.

    It is one of those days that makes you want to say hip-hip-hooray! Today on the Bumperpodcast.

    Send me an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com – and let me know how you dress when you go to the top of the mountain.

    I wear pants!!

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    About This Episode

    Natty Bumpercar is feeling great in this solo episode of Bumperpodcast, despite his microphone rig literally jumping off his desk. He explores the linguistic oddities of words like 'skadoodle' and 'skadaddle,' questioning why one is considered more ridiculous than the other. Natty also shares his reluctance to visit the mountaintop wizard due to his lack of proper mountain-climbing attire, particularly vests. The episode showcases his signature rambling comedy style as he discusses fashion, proper button-pushing etiquette learned at etiquette school, and his preference for cardigans. It's a delightfully absurd and improvisational journey through Natty's stream of consciousness.

    Memorable Quotes

    “I press it with my pinky because i went to etiquette school and i know proper uh button pushing etiquette”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “Skadoodle is in my book no more ridiculous than skadaddle”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “I can tell by the cut of your jib that everyone who listens to the bumper podcast is dressed at least to the nines if not the eights”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #fashion #language #wizards #etiquette #microphones #comedy #cardigans

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: hey what's going on bumper podcast it's me natty bumper car and i am healthy and wealthy and why i'm healthy i'm not wealthy and i'm not wise i'm healthy i really just went overboard there i'm healthy but the phrase is healthy wealthy and wise so i got kind of excited wow the last couple of weeks have been rough i hope i'm not over modulating too much i see my little lines going over and over where they're supposed to go i apologize it's a good day i'm that happy i uh right before i started recording i went my little my finger i press it with my pinky because i went to etiquette school and i know proper uh button pushing etiquette and so i was pushing the button with my pinky and the entire mic uh rig is what i'll call it the entire uh the boom and everything uh it just exploded off the desk it jumped at me it leapt at me as as as as is to say as if to say uh no bumper car not today i'm not going to deal with your shenanigans i'm not into it i don't want it you skadoodle skadoodle skadaddle now wait a minute skadaddle why is that afraid like a word and when someone says something you're like now you just you kids just skadoodle on out of here then you point your laugh at them like they've done something ridiculous skadoodle is in my book no more ridiculous than skadaddle so bumper podcast if you could listeners come with me by staying in your seats talk to me but don't actually open your mouth because i can't hear you because this isn't right now it's not a conversation i hope at some point that we can figure that out but that seems like some sort of technical wizardry that is so far above and beyond me and i don't know any technical wizards i mean there's that wizard who lives uh on the mountain mountaintop wizard i think his name is uh he doesn't come down very often and i'm not going to go up to him because i don't have good mountaintop shoes uh or i don't i also don't have a good mountaintop outfit if we're going to be honest a lot of people when they go to mountaintops they wear vests and i don't have any vests because i'm not a vest kind of guy so what i'm supposed to just go up to the mountaintop wizard all dressed weird and he's right off the bat he's gonna be like i'm not gonna talk to you did you tell you come to the top of my mountain dressed in a uh sweater i do wear a lot of sweaters mostly with buttons i like sweaters with buttons i'm gonna call them cardigans even though i'm not even really positive if that's what they're called or not you can tell me you know i know you're a fashion a fashionable bunch a fashionable lot you know how i know that because i can see it in your eyes i can tell by the cut of your jib that everyone who listens to the bumper podcast is dressed at least to the nines if not the eights

  • Bumperpodcast 124 – Missed Opportunity

    Bumperpodcast 124 – Missed Opportunity

    This is officially the first “What could have been” Bumperpodcast of the year … You see – we were going to talk about kittens and squirrels – and then the big computer broke – and then the little computer wouldn’t accept the audio doo-hickey – and then I went and took a long bath.

    I think that something was recorded … I am considering just making vinyl records of all of these and mailing them to listeners …. Or – writing everything out with ghost ink.

    Have you ever made a vinyl record or written in ghost ink? Let us know by sending an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com – and maybe we’ll hire you.

    You could live in a cave!!

     


    About This Episode

    In this chaotic episode of Bumperpodcast, Natty Bumpercar battles technical difficulties after recording what he claims was a phenomenal episode about kittens that was lost to corrupted audio. The recording sounded like garbled computer noises instead of his stories about kittens playing with rainbows and eating honey. After witnessing the magical performance, Robot, Reindeer, and others left depressed when the recording failed. Natty desperately troubleshoots by unplugging wires and switching computers, eventually recording on a laptop in his lap. He laments missing the chance to share his kitten and squirrel stories, joking about mobile podcast recording and police officers becoming unwitting stars of the show.

    Memorable Quotes

    “I literally i took the headphones off and i said it's gold and i walked out of the room and everyone just stared at me and they were just like we just witnessed something that was magical”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “I was like oh kittens are awesome kittens play with rainbows kittens love to eat honey i don't know you know i was just talking about kittens”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “The police pulled me over several times to tell me hey no more recording your mobile bumper podcast and then I say but officer now you're a star”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #technicaldifficulties #kittens #recordingproblems #comedy #metahumor #technology #podcasting

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar, Robot

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: all right so this is supposed to be the dawn of a new age remember we were having audio problems a couple of weeks ago and so then today i went to record the bumper podcast and i actually recorded this phenomenal one about kittens so you're missing that and i feel bad because i recorded it and i literally i took the headphones off and i said it's gold and i walked out of the room and everyone robot was here at the time reindeer was here uh the baby was here like everyone they just stared at me and they were just like he we just witnessed something that was magical like i was effervescent i was on i was on top of my game i was over the top it was phenomenal and so then i went back to listen to it and here's how it sounded me

    Robot: me me me and i was like

    Natty Bumpercar: i'm pretty sure that i because i have a memory that lasts for at least five minutes and i remembered that when i recorded the podcast that it didn't sound like that that i wasn't speaking in computer ease i don't i don't speak it i can understand i you know it's one of those things where if i'm like oh and then i can be like oh no that's on a computer i know what they're you know i know they're at least oh they're talking about me because i can tell because they're pointing and laughing but i don't necessarily know what they're saying but i know i don't yarn are saying but i didn't sound like that i was like oh kittens are awesome kittens play with rainbows kittens love to eat honey i don't know you know i was just talking about kittens like me was the saddest thing ever me that's why no one's here right now because everyone left because they were so depressed so i know they couldn't do it right now i'm like i'm like yeah i'm loves a can軍 straight as fuck well so i'm not going to give up the song because army is deadindi on the egy dragon just to say all right there was going to german and then they all're gone but for me so then I go and I start messing with wires and unplugging and plugging and all that stuff and then I don't even think my computer can do it anymore I think it's so sad and old that it can't even record the bumper podcast so then I moved this other computer and it's in my lap and that's weird it's a it's a whole it's a different thing that we're doing I guess with this lap computer so I don't know it's a little different it's certainly not a it's not the kitten day it was supposed to be and not only that there was a story about squirrels I was literally talking about kittens and squirrels and now all I've done for the past two and a half minutes is meank about uh wires and microphones I thought I was gonna go have to buy new stuff I can't buy new stuff new stuff is expensive and then we would have just had uh mobile bumper podcasts for a while and nobody likes those especially the police you they've pulled me over several times to tell me hey you no more recording your mobile bumper podcast and then I say but officer now you're you know you're a star

  • Bumperpodcast 123 – Bear-Man

    Bumperpodcast 123 – Bear-Man

    It is an end of the week Bumperpodcast … Our “big get” guest of the week fell through and threw everything into a major tailspin – and so – here we are – just you and me chit-chatting!

    Mostly – I tell you about a giant gravel voiced bear-man who sat at a table and grumbled at Pig and I.

    Have you ever been grumbled at by an angry bear of a man? Let us know by sending an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com – and then we’ll prepare the honey pots.

    Prepare the honey pots!!!