Tag: comedy

Natty Bumpercar: what is going on bumper podcast how are you doing today me i'm doing swell and why is that well this morning i woke up and the weirdest thing happened i laid an egg yeah that's right i laid an egg and the craziest part about it was that i laid a golden egg i mean i've laid eggs before ladies and gentlemen but normally they're robin's egg blue you know that nice blue color that robin's egg sometimes they're speckled but never before in my entire bumper car life have i ever laid a golden egg it's really it's it's a banner day it's the best day around headquarters that we've had in a long time ever since the moat froze over and we were able to um swim and ski no try again skate laps around headquarters uh that was really the best day until now now golden egg all right fine it's golden egg thursday golden day golden egg thursday hmm so now what am i gonna do with a golden egg i don't really know are you supposed to cook golden eggs how long does it keep in the fridge i don't know should i make golden egg salad i don't like golden egg salad i don't like egg salad at all maybe i should make you know what i should make i should make golden egg fried rice because there's nothing better in the world than golden egg fried rice the world than homemade fried rice if you know what you're doing and ladies and gentlemen you have to know at this point by this point that i do know what i'm doing bumper car hey who knows what he's doing bumper car bumper car hey who knows what he's doing bumper car that's right do you get all those bees sorry if they blew up in your ears um so what do you do fried rice you take uh rice that you made yesterday or the day before i don't know and it's in your fridge this is leftover rice just plain old white rice right you can do brown rice too i guess whatever kind of rice you have just as long as it's old i don't know why it's just because it's been sitting in the fridge and it's like i want to be used for something can you please put me in something and you're like of course i can rice because i you're delicious so then what do you do you um you put some uh oil like i use olive oil and then you put it in a frying pan and then you make it really hot and then you throw the rice in there and you let it all like sizzle sizzle pop sizzle sizzle pop and then i put it in the fridge i put green peas and onions and garlic and sometimes i put little carrots in there and then you here's the trick right a little bit of sesame oil what toasted sesame oil that's the trick and then toasted sesame seeds in there too and then the golden egg will go in and i guess the soy sauce sometimes i'll put just a little splash of teriyaki sauce in there too and it really it's like you've moved into a steakhouse and you're gonna live there for the rest of your life and i can't think of a better life than that so golden egg thank you for my new life