Tag: comedy

  • Bumperpodcast #147 – Rhyming

    Bumperpodcast #147 – Rhyming

    Robot jumps onto the Bumperpodcast microphone to sing a little song – and manages to fail miserably …

    Do you love it when Robot fails? Let us know by sending an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com – because – we would like to know!

    We learn when we fail!!!

    About This Episode

    In episode 147 of the Bumperpodcast, Robot kicks things off with a lackluster party song that prompts host Natty Bumpercar to offer some constructive criticism. Natty points out Robot's lazy rhyming of "things" with "things" and proceeds to demonstrate his own method for finding rhymes by working through the alphabet. What follows is a hilarious deep dive into Natty's stream-of-consciousness musings about rhyming, the alphabet song, and his inability to recite the alphabet backwards. This short, improvisational episode showcases the show's signature absurdist humor as Natty gets increasingly sidetracked while trying to prove he has "a beautiful mind."

    Memorable Quotes

    “I'm going to do some stuff and I'm going to do some stuff and then I'm going to do some things and I'm going to rhyme things with things.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “I can't do the alphabet unless I do the song. If I ever had to do the alphabet backwards, I wouldn't be able to even remotely figure out how to do that.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “I can't believe what a beautiful mind I, Natty Bumpercar, have. Let's think of some other words that rhyme with things. Well, of course, there's… I don't have anything.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #music #poetry #rhyming #alphabet #party #language #comedy

    Featuring: Robot, Natty Bumpercar

    Full Transcript

    Robot: My name is Robot and I like to party. I get good and ready when I go to the party. I do some robot stuff and I do some robot things. And then I wait for you to do some things.

    Natty Bumpercar: Wow. Wow, Robot, that was literally the most underwhelming. No, no, no. I'm going to do some stuff and I'm going to do some stuff and then I'm going to do some things and I'm going to rhyme things with things. Like there's a lot of other words that you could have put in there. Rings, brings, sings. Things, yeah, things. There's not a lot of words that rhyme with things. Is that true? I had no idea. Not a lot, no. You ever do that thing where you're trying to rhyme words in a bumper podcast? Hey, what's going on? What's going on, Bumper Podcast? It's me, Natty Bumpercar. And right now I'm trying to figure out how to rhyme words. And so right now we're using the example of things, for instance. So what I like to do is I start with the alphabet, which seems like a legitimately smart and good place to start when you want to make words. And especially if you want to then rhyme those words. So like I'll go like A. Are there any A words? Angs. Angs. No. B. Bangs. Things. Bangs. No. Bings. Bing cherries, I guess. Brings. C. Clings. There's one. See, look at that. This works. A, B, C. A, B, C. That's terrible. I can't do the alphabet unless I do the song. If I ever had to, was required to do the alphabet backwards, I wouldn't be able to even remotely figure out how to do that. I would. But my brain is not capable of such things, and I do not think it's a fair test. Maybe if it's written in front of me, then I could do it. Because I can read, even, you know, backwards. I can read right to left. That's fine. You know, right to left. Yeah. Or if you put the letters in reverse order, starting left to right, that's going to be easier for me. Then my brain is literally just like, I'm going X, W, X, Y, Z. I started with X. Oh, I'm terrible. I can't believe what a brilliant mind I have. I can't believe what a beautiful mind I, Natty Bumpercar, have. Let's think of some other words that rhyme with things. Well, of course, there's… I don't have anything.

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  • Bumperpodcast #146 – Brains

    Bumperpodcast #146 – Brains

    Bumpercar loses his brain … Then – he tries to have a conversation with it – and – the eventualities skeeve everyone out.

    Have you ever talked to your brain? Let us know by sending an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com – because – brains are good!

    Hooray for brains!!!

    About This Episode

    Natty Bumpercar returns to the Bumperpodcast after a two-week absence due to computer problems, and immediately launches into a hilariously absurd monologue about his brain leaving his head. In this solo episode, Natty contemplates the logistics of how his brain would return to his skull, becoming increasingly grossed out by his own imagination. The stream-of-consciousness storytelling takes listeners on a wild ride through Natty's bizarre thought processes, complete with sound effects and self-commentary. By the end, he's contemplating labeling the episode "too yuck for comfort" and asking listeners how they handle situations with "too much yuck."

    Memorable Quotes

    “I need a technical genius this is what i was trying to say but i don't know what i was i don't know where my brain went right there”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “I'm gonna have to ask you to climb back up into my head like through my nose i guess i don't know how it's gonna work out”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “I might as well just put a label on this thing that says like too gross for comfort too yuck for comfort too yuck for you for me too yuck too much yuck”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #streamofconsciousness #imagination #absurdisthumor #technicaldifficulties #brain #self-awareness #comedy #monologue

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: all right well if it's the bumper podcast she be looking for then it's the bumper podcast that she have found welcome one and all it's me natty bumper car and i'm coming at you live and in person am i yelling a little bit i feel like i am why i'm gonna blame it on the humidity is that something you can even do i don't know is this like why is grandma yelling all the time well there's a lot of clouds in the sky so you know no i don't know i think i'm just yelling because i'm so excited i haven't seen you guys in a couple of weeks seriously computer problems again i need some sort of technical technical genius i need a technical genius this is what i was trying to say but i don't know what i was i don't know where my brain went right there and if you do please draw me a map so that i can go and look because i want to wait there for the next time my brain goes there so i could be waiting and i can hide and i can sneak out and i can be all like boo what up brain and it can be all like bumper car you know you were coming over here and i could be like brain what are you doing here man and i'll be like man brain you talk really interestingly i mean i'm not gonna say like weird or bad or whatever but like you know like get with the program i'm not gonna be able to sit and hang out and have a proper conversation with you brain if all you can do is make like weird squishy noises and be all like it's too much it's too much to ask i appreciate you hanging out with me but now i'm gonna have to ask you to climb to climb back up into my head like through my nose i guess i don't know how it's gonna work out i don't even want to think about it i'm probably going to throw this episode away because i'm so skeeved out at the thought of my brain getting back into my head which is weird because i'm not going to be able to do that because i'm not going to be able to do that because I never even thought it strange for a moment that my brain had left my head to go somewhere else like that made perfect sense to me like oh well yeah of course my brain's gonna leave my head every so often why wouldn't it isn't that something that brains do well hey bumper car let's take this logic full circle and see what we come around with oh the brain's got to get back in your head at some point and then what happens oogie oogie ucky yucky thank you very much I apologize if I have totally ruined everyone's day with an oogie ucky yucky story I might as well just put a label on this thing that says like too gross for comfort too yuck for you for me too yuck too much yuck ladies and gentlemen have you ever been in a situation where there was too much yuck and I'm asking you as a friend natty bumper car to my bumper podcast pals what did you do in this situation did you run was it fight or flight did you just like walk away or did you just put your hands on your ears and go la la la la la

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  • Bumperpodcast #144 – Under Thumb

    Bumperpodcast #144 – Under Thumb

    Bumpercar kindly asks the Universe to “Step off, Back away and Move on.” – mostly because he is tired of being mushed under the Universes icky thumb.

    How you ever been mushed under a thumb? Let us know by sending an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com – because – we can help!

    We love to help!!!

    About This Episode

    In Bumperpodcast episode 144, host Natty Bumpercar shares his feelings about the week-long gap between podcast episodes, confessing that he pines away counting down the days. Natty gets emotional discussing how the universe feels like it's pushing down on him with its metaphorical thumb, leading to a heartfelt plea for personal space. To cope with feeling overwhelmed, he plans to eat Cinnamon the Horse's oats for extra oatiness and drink a beverage with awesome in it. This introspective and humorous episode showcases Natty's signature rambling comedy style as he contemplates running either the show or the ship after a recent promotion.

    Memorable Quotes

    “I sit in the corner and I look at the calendar and I just cross off days. There goes one day and then I sigh really loud and really long.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “I'm gonna eat a bowl of cinnamon the horse's oats this morning because I need to be a little bit more oaty.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “Step off back away move on. Personal space is what I'm saying universe.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #personalspace #emotions #breakfast #universe #missingfriends #self-care #comedy #introspection

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: holy beans and rice and other things that go with beans and rice ladies and gentlemen it's me natty bumper car and it's the bumper podcast what are you doing how's it going i missed you i mean i'm starting to think maybe daily maybe two three times a day we need to have bumper podcasts because here's the thing seven days in between them here's what starts to happen i start to pine i do i sit in the corner and i look at the calendar and i just cross off days there goes one day and then i sigh really loud and really long just like there goes two days and then by like day three or four i'm just a pile of uh mush just on the floor so sad you guys don't want to see a sad bumper car there's nothing going on

    Unknown: about a sad bumper car it's only sad i i hope i i i'm sorry i just it's really really emotional right now there's a lot of stuff going on

    Natty Bumpercar: feels like you ever wake up bumper podcast and feel like the entire universe has its thumb resting right down upon you kind of hard like it's pushing you down which is bad enough right you got a thumb on you you and then it starts to just mush you back and forth and back and forth come on thumb get up off me what are you doing you know you just write me a note put it on the fridge i always go to the fridge i gotta go to the fridge write me a note i'm gonna see the note maybe give me some bad news there i don't also need you pointing at me or thumbing me as as it were i don't need you mushing me i'm wush enough i'm mush fine by myself thank you so much you go over there personal space is what i'm saying universe like you've got everything all around you universe let me just have this little bumper car space right here step off back away move on step off back away move on am i right i feel like i'm right that's fine maybe i just need more sleep maybe i just need more fiber i'm actually gonna eat a bowl of uh cinnamon the horse's oats this morning why because i feel like it's gonna make me really oaty and i need to be a little bit more oaty maybe i'm also gonna have a beverage what kind of beverage i don't know something with awesome in it because i need a little bit more awesome to so that i can run the show the ship am i gonna run the show or the ship i forget i recently got a promotion and it's either that i'm gonna run the show or run the ship

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  • Bumperpodcast #143 – Bag of awesome!

    Bumperpodcast #143 – Bag of awesome!

    You just had a bag of awesome delivered directly to your doorstep … Can you even handle it? Yeah, today’s Bumperpodcast has numbers and bees and will rock your world.

    How many bags of awesome do you have? Let us know by sending an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com – because – we love to count!

    Bag of awesome!!!

    About This Episode

    In Bumperpodcast episode 143, host Natty Bumpercar delivers a chaotic and hilarious monologue about prime numbers, terrible math jokes, and an unexpected encounter with a friendly bumblebee. Natty stumbles through explaining what prime numbers are, admits to being terrible at math jokes like "why was six afraid of seven," and then shares a bizarre story about driving to a show. While jamming out to music with his hand out the window, Natty gets painfully "high-fived" by a high-speed bumblebee, nearly causing a wreck. The episode showcases Natty's signature rambling style and ability to find humor in the most random everyday moments.

    Memorable Quotes

    “it's the day that the bumper podcast rolls up into your town into your driveway knocks on your door and gives you a bag of awesome”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “i saw that what it was is there was a bumblebee who would try to give me a high speed high five which is so nice”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #math #primenumbers #driving #music #bumblebees #comedy #storytelling

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: it goes a one two three and what's up bumper podcast it's me natty bumper car it's your favorite day of your life it's your favorite day of the week it's your favorite day of the month it's the day that the bumper podcast rolls up into your town into your driveway knocks on your door and gives you a bag of awesome hey don't walk away you forgot your bag of awesome here it is open it up enjoy it love it live it love it wait that probably was gonna be a good catchphrase but then i kind of fell apart there towards the end love it live it uh enjoy it i don't know we gotta have the marketing department work on that probably we're doing really great right up until we had that flub we had the bag of awesome we're rolling up into your town we counted up to three wait one it goes to one it goes to one two three yeah okay we gotta get up all up to three which is good you know i think uh three is one and three are prime numbers i think i don't really even know what that is but in my head it feels like that's something that's a truth i just told you if you take anything at all away from the bumper podcast today uh then please take prime numbers one and three two might no two is not two is divisible by one obviously wait three is divisible by one so that anyone know what prime numbers are why am i talking about math i don't know anything about math i know that numbers are fun and funny yeah because seven eight nine i wait six oh i don't do good at math number jokes i don't do good at them at all last night i was driving to this show right and i was listening to some music i was like jamming out i had the radio up and they were playing twofers back to numbers i know and i was like singing and i was like i'm driving somewhere i don't know where and i had my hand out of the window and i was doing that like that wave thing where like you're you have your hand flat and it's like doing like a little wave motion like it was a snake in the river like and then all of a sudden it was like bam something hit my hand and i was i almost had a wreck because i was it hurt so bad and it caught me by such a surprise i didn't know what was going on and i was like what in the what just ow like what happened what possibly ow and i was looking around and then i got the i looked in my uh my rear view mirror my rear view to see if i could figure out what had just happened you know meanwhile my hand is like throbbing in pain and then i saw that what it was is there was a bumblebee who would try to give me a high speed high five which is so nice like the place where i was going they literally had the nicest bumblebees that you would ever want to meet ever

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  • Bumperpodcast #142 – Hooray, studio!

    Bumperpodcast #142 – Hooray, studio!

    We are back in the Bumperpodcast Worldwide Studios – today – and Natty Bumpercar couldn’t be happier about it!

    Have you ever come home after a long absence? Let us know by sending an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com – because – we want to help you get home!

    So that you can eat your cookies!!!

    About This Episode

    Natty Bumpercar returns to the Bumperpodcast headquarters studio after 10,000 years away, promising moderately decent audio quality. In this solo episode, Natty displays his newly acquired certificate of expertise from the Mayor of Coffee Can Alley, which declares him an expert in "all things." He recounts a hilarious grocery store encounter where he attempts to use his general expertise certificate to explain produce organization to a confused shopper, with predictably awkward results. The episode showcases Natty's signature rambling humor and his tendency to confidently dispense questionable advice.

    Memorable Quotes

    “If we can strive every week to get even more moderately decent then I think that we are on the right track to go to the stars maybe to the moon.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “I have a certificate here… says right here natty bumper car is hereby certified by the mayor of coffee can alley as an expert in all things.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “She said uh you really don't know what you're talking about do you i said me of course not.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #expertise #certificates #groceryshopping #confidence #comedy #soloepisode

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: are well welcome to the bumper podcast it's me a pirate and i'm here to say to you what are you huh what are you doing in here i heard yes get out are you sure yes i'm positive get okay then thank you toodaloo toodaloo pirate hey everybody it's me natty bumper car and for the first time in 10 000 years i'm back in the bumper podcast headquarters studio which means you get to hear something that actually sounds moderately decent moderately decent oh boy that's right robot moderately decent and you know what if we can strive every week to get even more moderately decent then i think that we are on the right track to go to the stars maybe to the moon i don't know which one is closer i'm kind of guessing that the moon is so we want to go further than that we're going to go to the stars i'm going to stick with what i said at first we have potential bumper podcast listeners to go straight past the moon to the stars who's with me who wants to go on this ride i think you do i could see you smiling you didn't have to actually say yes here's the thing bumper podcast i natty bumper car am an expert reader of people's um body language of their physiology i don't know what that is necessarily frenology is that the thing with the bumps on the head i don't know but i'm an expert at it is what i'm trying to tell you i have a certificate here it is right here came in the mail says right here natty bumper car uh is hereby certified by the mayor of coffee can alley as an expert in all things so it's kind of a general uh certificate but that's fine you know you kind of take it for what it is i i applied for uh some more specific certificates but i wasn't able to get them i didn't qualify for them i suppose so i i got this general one and i kind of use it in a lot of different aspects of my life for instance i was in the grocery store just yesterday and i was in the vegetable aisle and there was uh there was a there was a shelf and it had tomatoes and apples and i think it was like a squash uh all kind of mixed together and this woman was she was very confused why are these things together why are they all on the same shelf and i said hold on a second here ma'am i can handle this i am an expert and the reason that they've done this is that these uh fruits and vegetables are simpatico and that they live together nicely and that they will stay fresh longer if they're next to each other the uh the nice lady looked at me kind of askew kind of askance not impressed with my line of jibber jabber and she said uh you really don't know what you're talking about do you i said me of course not

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