Tag: comedy

Natty Bumpercar: good day to you bumper podcast how are you doing today we're a day late what i don't know my clock is broken i forgot to put batteries into my my clock the normally the cat is supposed to tell me we don't have a cat all right i'm not gonna lie to you see that's what happens you start fibbing you start telling lies and then everything falls apart i got too convoluted with my fib there and uh and so you know like oh wait now i've got a cat it's just like so then i'm thinking all right i've got to get a litter box i've got to get uh some kibble for the kitty cat maybe some some wet food in the cans you know the stuff that's so phenomenal phenomenally disgusting that when you open it up uh it's impossible not to get a little bit on you and then that's on you for the rest of the day you wash your hands it doesn't matter it's there you're gonna smell like uh ocean fresh fish which no one wants to smell like like if you go to the big department store and there's that line of people who are spraying stuff on you oh you know try this why don't you try mine why don't you try this whatever like none of them smell like ocean fresh fish because nobody that's again that's not a scent that people want to smell like oh well i apologize for starting this show off with such uh a lie a fib uh a faux pas it's my faux pas um to to try to mislead you like that this is the bumper podcast i am natty bumper car and we are a day late and a dollar short who said that who said that i did okay uh so if anyone has a dollar we would really appreciate it if you could send it our way via the podcast um we were going to talk today about it's a six it's an exciting week today is an exciting day in the bumper podcast because we're gonna we're gonna kick out the jams we're gonna put the pedal to the metal we're going to we're in uh what is it called uh manifest destiny we're expanding this thing we're going bigger how much bigger i don't know how long do you want to sit there and listen i don't know because you're not sitting here next to me writing numbers on a notepad you know like uh eight maybe i'd like to listen to eight maybe six six seven six seventeen i don't think i could go six seventeen i think that's going to be too much bumper podcast but i think i could do i think i could do you know what i think we could do we could double it so if normally we do three minutes you know what we're going to do today we're going to hit five minutes that's right it's not quite double but it's a good number i feel like i feel like five is a number that people can really uh appreciate it's it's enough your teeth into uh to wet your palate and maybe uh you know you listen to five a few times and all of a sudden you're thinking i do want that eight i do want that 16 seven what is it six seventeen i do want that six seventeen of the bumper podcast i gotta tell you guys i'm having a great day but i'm also having a really hard time right now because ever since i hit record on the bumper podcast today i've had to sneeze like it is right there read it and now i'm talking about it it oh i'm so sorry i'm so unprofessional it's so it's so yucky it's oh i didn't i didn't know that by talking about the sneeze that it was going to happen this is the worst day of my life i have to pause for a second and just like that through the wonders of radio technology and informational awesomeness i'm back my um my nose you heard that right that's we weren't i wasn't on the sheet like i have a sheet of the things that i wanted to do today on the bumper podcast on the brand new extended all more awesome bumper podcast and it nowhere on there does it say sneeze hey bumper car could you make sure to sneeze into the microphone no producers of the show i won't do that because that's not what that's not the kind of thing that these people are here for that's not the entertainment they want i can't do that i can't do that i can't do that i can't do that i can't do that i came to be professional i came to be more awesome i came to be the bigger better bumper podcast