Tag: comedy

  • Bumperpodcast #292 – Stye in my eye

    Bumperpodcast #292 – Stye in my eye

    Bumpercar has a stye on his eye – and a lot of his pals stop by to help. It’s a real humdinger of an episode!

    Have you ever had a stye? Let us know by sending an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com.

    The Bumperpodcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp around Headquarters, in Coffee-Can Alley, with Natty Bumpercar and his entire gaggle of pals! 

    About This Episode

    Natty Bumpercar is suffering from a painful eye stye and seeks help from his puppet friends in this hilarious episode of Bumperpodcast. Aloysious J. Pig offers unhelpful pig-related stye advice, while Robot suggests remedies he should have already known about. Producer attempts to cheer Bumpercar up with his singing voice, though Pig quickly shuts down his backstory. Through the pain and frustration, Bumpercar shares his misadventures with magical microwave eye pillows, including one that arrived pre-broken and gooey. The episode culminates with a surprise visit from a pirate character offering seafaring wisdom about eye patches and ship microwaves.

    Memorable Quotes

    “I think if you've got a stye in your eye, then I'm probably a first person, or animal, that you should have come to. Because I've got a lot of experience with styes. For instance, I was born in a stye.”

    — Aloysious J. Pig

    “Can you please look through all your databases, and all your whatever wikis, or whatever encyclopedia, whatever you've got, and tell me if there's a way to make my eye feel better, to make my stye feel better, to make this guy feel better. That's a good rhyme.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “Maybe I could produce some sort of salve. Or perhaps some sort of bomb. Or something. Or some sort of tincture to make your eye feel better today.”

    — Producer

    Topics: #health #eyestye #medicalremedies #misadventures #friendship #comedy #pirates

    Featuring: Aloysious J. Pig, Natty Bumpercar, Robot, Producer

    Full Transcript

    Unknown: Oh, I'm injured, I have a boo-boo, I'm not happy.

    Aloysious J. Pig: Hey, what in the world? Hey, Bumpercar, hey, it's me, Aloysius J. Pig. Hey, Bumpercar, what's going on? Why do you feel like, what's going on? You got a boo-boo, huh?

    Natty Bumpercar: What happened to you, anyway, huh? It's my eye, it's my eye, I've got a stye in my eye. You've got a stye? It hurts, and it gives me a headache, and it itches, and I'm not supposed to touch it, and all I can do is put a little warm pillow on it, and it doesn't do any good. What, what? I just don't feel good.

    Aloysious J. Pig: Well, first off, Bumpercar, I think if you've got a stye in your eye, then I'm probably a first person, or animal, that you should have come to. Because I've got a lot of experience with styes. For instance, I was born in a stye. I actually sleep in a stye. I eat a lot of food in a stye. Pig, it's not that kind of stye, would you just stop it?

    Natty Bumpercar: Well, it's because it hurts, and you're not helping, and you're making me feel worse. I don't want to feel worse, I want to feel better.

    Robot: Hey, it's me, Robot. I haven't been on the Bumpercar. I've casted a whole long time. There's a reason for that. Maybe I can help you.

    Natty Bumpercar: Fine, fine, fine, fine. Hi, Robot. Thanks for coming by. I'm glad you're here. Can you please look through all your databases, and all your whatever wikis, or whatever encyclopedia, whatever you've got, and tell me if there's a way to make my eye feel better, to make my stye feel better, to make this guy feel better. That's a good rhyme.

    Aloysious J. Pig: Please. That's a really good rhyme, bro. I know you don't feel good, but that was pretty, that was tight. That was really, that was on point. I like it.

    Robot: He was talking to me, Pig. So, let's see. Have you tried using a little warm pillow? Are you serious? A lot of people use little warm pillows to make their stye.

    Natty Bumpercar: I said I, that's the first thing that I did. That's the only thing I did. Okay. And it didn't help. I didn't know that.

    Robot: Well, I- Well, I wasn't in the room. I wasn't here yet. I did say- So, how could I have possibly-

    Aloysious J. Pig: Because you have a robot. You've got robot ears. I understand. You're not helping. No, you should be listening. You should be helping. Right. Or something. You know what? Listen. If you're not going to help- Okay.

    Robot: This is good out. I'll be going now. Yes. I'm going. Okay. This has been Robots. Hasta mañana. Wait, the robot speaks Spanish now? Yeah, I guess. I didn't know.

    Aloysious J. Pig: That's a new thing to me, too. So, he picked up another language, but he can't pick up listening when the conversation is over. When the conversation is happening on the podcast that he's going to interrupt?

    Natty Bumpercar: Yeah. I don't understand this, though, man.

    Aloysious J. Pig: He was outside the room. What the heck?

    Natty Bumpercar: That made no sense to me. Okay. But I don't like defending robot, clearly, but he was outside the room, and I do feel bad that he was kind of thrust into this- I mean, he thrust himself into this situation and was immediately expected to perform, and he's not exactly what I would call a performer,

    Producer: so- Well, speaking of performers, hi, robot. Hi. It's me, Producer. Hi, Producer. What's going on? I'm here to help you produce your show, because it's a bumper podcast. You have to do my show, too. And I haven't been around. He doesn't very long. Producer, I don't want to do my show right now. He's still got your pipes. Yeah, he's got his pipes. I don't feel good. I wasn't aware. Yeah, I've got a sty, so I'm injured. Maybe I could produce some sort of- What? Saf. Huh? Or perhaps some sort of bomb. A bomb? Or something. A bomb? A bomb? A bomb? A bomb? A bomb? A bomb? A bomb? A bomb? A bomb? A bomb? Or some sort of tincture to make your eye feel better today.

    Natty Bumpercar: I'm not going to lie, Producer. Just having you in the room with your singing voices made me feel a teeny tiny bit better. How do you sing better? Oh, no. Better. You shouldn't do that. Better. Oh, no. How do you sing so well? You're like a little ray of sunshine coming out. Oh, no. You're a little ray of sunshine in here.

    Producer: Well, I took a lot of training in school and I went to all these different singing camps that I know.

    Aloysious J. Pig: I tell ya, nobody really cares. Nobody wants to hear about it.

    Producer: Okay.

    Aloysious J. Pig: Yeah.

    Producer: All right. Yeah, so just go on. That's fine with me, I suppose. Yeah.

    Aloysious J. Pig: I'm going to go now. All right, so you have- I'll see you soon. Okay. So here's the thing. You're a producer, so that means you're supposed to produce. Ain't really mean you're supposed to be on air talent. Ain't really mean- You know, you guys- I mean, here's the thing. You might have a story to tell. to tell i'm sure you do you're a great dude right however we gotta have people behind the boards people behind you know the switches and the knobs doing the things and making the magic happen here's the thing i'm a magician you're like my owl okay you're my uh i don't know he's funny rabbit no i know you're a frog you're a frog all right okay back to bumper car okay i'm going now

    Natty Bumpercar: all right thanks for stopping by producer wow we're really getting a lot of fun visitors here today on i mean when i started the show i was basically in tears uh splitting headache so here's the thing a stye i've never had styes in my entire life that i know of no documented styes uh and then last month out of nowhere out of the blue in my right eye there was this bump on the eyelid and it hurt and it scratched and i was like what what so i went to the pharmacist and i pointed at it and i was like what is this fix it and they were just like whoa you got a stye and i was like oh no i've got a stye it's the end of the world they were like relax it's a stye people get styes and i was like i don't want to die they were like well we've got this cool little pillow that you put into the microwave and so it's it's like these little uh beads that get either really hot or really cold and if you put them in the microwave it's in like a little plastic pouch and then that goes into this little um little sweater little pillow sweater like a pillowcase but i'm calling it a sweater for some reason and uh you can only it says you have to do it in 10 second intervals 10 second the microwave doesn't do a lot but once you you know get up but then you have to watch it right because it expands so i used it the first day and it was great and it made my i feel better but i kind of burnt my eyelid which is not a pleasant thing to do they even told me be careful your eyelid is one of the most sensitive areas on your whole body and i was just like sure sure there's a sty it's gotta go burnt eyelid ow so then i had to deal with that fine uh oh and you know this is when i was doing commercials uh a couple months ago or last month whatever and it was like i had a big audition thing and and of course four days before the audition sty so then i had sty eye going into the audition dun dun dun is that why i didn't get it sure we'll blame it on that not my lack of talent uh and uh then on the second day with the little pillow i was so desperate for to to heal to fix that i i put it in for 10 and then another 10 and i would i take it out after each time and i feel this little pillow and i can shake it to feel the little beads moving around and if it's not warm then i still stick it back in uh 10 9 8 7 the little pillow broke this is a 12 item this is not something that i'm just gonna go out and buy all willy nil all the time and so then i didn't have it i was done and and luckily that time the sty just went away i think i whatever i did to it i scared it away and it was fine flash forward this week woke up the other eye another sty so now i'm asking people now that i've had this is this something is this my life it's not this isn't this isn't what i signed up for that's for sure so i went back to the place and they'd moved all the little pillows so i had to get them i was like where's the pillow i need a pillow for my eye i have a sty but she took me to the sty eye pillow aisle and uh it's not an aisle it's just one place there's only one left i got it home went to put in the microwave it's a pillow i have a sty i have a sty i have a sty i have a sty i have a sty it's all gooey it's all gooey why is this all gooey somebody had bought it popped it sent it back and then i bought it no sir no way so then on the way to work i had to go to a different one because it was more on the way to work and i was i was kind of preoccupied by it and uh driving a little bit quicker than i should have pulled over pulled over by the police here's what and here's how slow i was going though uh i was going like 35 or 25 which is too fast fine but i was going slow enough that the police officer who was standing like he was like leaning on his car he pointed at me and then he pointed in front of his car and i was able i was going slow enough that i was just like oh okay okay this is happening so it was a good morning is what i'm saying it was a good way it was on a monday morning it was the perfect way to start the week to start the day uh but it was it worked out fine don't let's not worry about me everything worked out fine so then i went to the other place i got the pillow and i've been using it ever since i've been using it a few days now uh stye still there stye getting worse uh stye uncomfortable but luckily we have the bumper podcast we have all my helpful friends here

    Aloysious J. Pig: i'm here too oh my friend i didn't even know you were still here well you because you were yammering you start yammering sometimes at the show and i just like let you go i'm like just keep rolling bro keep rolling you ain't figuring out your stye but this you know who's gonna figure it out hold on a second

    Unknown: oh hello there bumper car it's me i'm the parrot and we get styes quite constantly styes along with rickets and along with shingles and along with all kinds of sea legs as you understand so here's what we do on the boat is we take a patch and we draw a skull and crossbones on it and we put the patch over the eye of course we warm it up in our shippy microwave and it heals the eye perfecto mundo well you speak spanish too all right well then i'm gonna go

    Natty Bumpercar: get a patch and it's gonna make me better

    Unknown: hopefully i think we have time so let me show you thank you any unless you want to get ready and really uh but it's not like i'm so self-evident is gonna link you not this video really um like teach you all stuff and you i mean mean anything to me you're all going to figure this stuff out if you want fuck no it is wellomme man oh mandy dog

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  • Bumperpodcast #291 – Weekend Special

    Bumperpodcast #291 – Weekend Special

    A little weekend special about twitters, and this, and that. Also another special guest pops in at the end!

    Do you like weekends? Let us know by sending an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com.

    The Bumperpodcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp around Headquarters, in Coffee-Can Alley, with Natty Bumpercar and his entire gaggle of pals! 

    About This Episode

    In this special weekend edition of Bumperpodcast, Natty Bumpercar apologizes for missing last week's episode and shares his exhausting adventures in solo parenting. While his wife attends a conference, Natty deals with sleepless nights caused by his children's sniffles, including a heart-stopping 11:30 PM wake-up call that left him completely disoriented. He also discusses his experiments with Twitter engagement, a relaxing dentist appointment (complete with cavity concerns), and his attempt at live-tweeting his two-hour bedtime struggle. The episode features a surprise guest appearance from one of Natty's children, who shares stories about rock climbing with an auto belay system and visiting the pool.

    Memorable Quotes

    “I honestly thought I was having a heart attack because I was so deep asleep and I was in the middle of a dream that was kind of nightmarish… and he screamed and I hit the ceiling.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “In my house sniffles are almost like the end of the world. When one of them has sniffles all bets are off—there will be no sleep, no peace, no happiness, no joy.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “I look at my mouth in the mirror and it's just like cavity, I'm a cavity creep. 2017, can't we do something better about cavities? UV lights? Lasers?”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #parenting #sleepdeprivation #socialmedia #twitter #dentist #rockclimbing #children #familylife

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar, Natty Bumpercar's child

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: well hello there bumper podcast it's me natty bumper car and it is a weekend edition a surprise weekend edition because i blacked out and completely missed last week and i don't know what happened but i was just like i've got time i miss i miss i miss my peeps i miss my peeps you guys are my peeps we don't want to be your peeps well too bad you're my peeps hey what up peeps that's a hard p p peeps i uh i i had a weird fun week so i uh one thing i i'm just gonna run through my list of cool things i uh i i tweeted i tweeted a tweet and um it got like all these uh likes and retweets and stuff and i was like interesting and so then a couple days later i uh i tried again i went out and i i i followed the same scenario uh whereby i found a very hot twitter uh twitter tweet that a lot of people were interacting with and liking and retweeting and i put a pithy comment into that and uh this is because it had worked before and uh it got 450 likes and uh 50 retweets and nothing you know no one no followers that doesn't happen that's fine uh but it's neat to see uh how things work or don't work you know depending on your view for me i was just like oh this is cool all these people like stuff my phone is blown up blown up so then last night uh the wife has been away she's been in a conference that's been me and the kids and uh they don't sleep necessarily she left on thursday at uh she she was up at 4 like 15 in the morning it's been i was basically up at 4 15 in the morning uh and then she left at 508 at 5 12 the kids got up that's early that's an early early time to wake up um and then that night uh the kids had a hard time going to bed this is thursday night and then one of them woke up screaming ah at 11 30 at night i had been asleep at that point for 1.5 hours an hour and a half and he screamed so loud and so that i was up i thought i i honestly uh and i don't say this often i thought i was having a heart attack because i was so deep asleep and i was in the middle of a dream that was kind of nightmarish we'll say uh and right when something terrible was about to happen so i was already a little bit amped up in my dream and screamed and i was like oh i hit the ceiling i got i ran i was so out of sorts and confused and i was just like what what's going what happened what's the matter he's just like i've got sniffles it's like what sniffles in my house are almost like the end of the world when one of them has sniffles all bets are off uh there will be no sleep there will be no peace there will be no happiness there will be no joy because sniffles are in the house so i had to gather my myself gather my brain and then i went and i found some of the that vapor rub so i sm i slathered that all over him which then causes a freak out because he doesn't like stuff being slathered so like lotion uh you know soap whatever conditioner in his hair that oh it feels weird ah but you know you can't breathe let's put this on you we'll see what happens you're good to go wasn't enough was not enough uh so we're trying to blow nose not experts at blowing noses yet uh so then i run downstairs and i get some uh some medicine now we have a couple of different uh kid medicines they're all homeopathic stuff uh so one of them has melatonin in it it's like dark honey and uh echinacea and melatonin whatever and it's supposed to like soothe the throat and help them sleep but the thing was by that time it was already 12 15 and i didn't want to give him that because if it forced him to sleep he would have to go to sleep and then he's not gonna get up in the morning and he's got to go to school can't miss school for a sniffle uh excuse me mr bumper car why wasn't your son here at school today oh well he had the sniffles oh really bring him in now please so i knew i couldn't do that one and then the other one there's another one that's uh the kind of the dark honey i don't know why everything's dark honey what's dark honey dark honey it's like dark matter it's like the bees no dark honey exists and then the other one there's another one that's uh the kind of the but they can't quite find it well it's in my medicine cabinet so and he's not a huge fan of the of the dark honey to be honest but then there's another one that is more for uh for congestion and for sniffles and so i got that and here you go and then about an hour later he went to sleep that point i'm pretty i'm pretty wide awake all the adrenaline is you know still flowing so from 11 30 12 31 about 132 i get back to sleep good for me uh six o'clock they woke up which was nice that's that six o'clock is late it's perfect i was a little tired though friday was a little bit of a tired day for me luckily uh i had a dentist appointment in the morning so i took them to school came home and uh kind of just sat partially comatose in the corner until it's time to go to the dentist and then i go and i you know what i do i i rest i nap dentist for me so far knock on wood has been a good experience not a horrifying bad scary experience let's keep that up teeth let's keep it up although they did take x-rays and they were like you see this that shadow is the beginning of a cavity i was just like oh no i don't want any more cavities i look at my mouth in the mirror and it's just like cavity i'm a cavity creep can't stand them disgusting 2017 can't we do something better about cavities i don't know uv lights lasers i don't know so but the dentist was fine so the kids the kids were good so i tell you that story because then last night uh they went to their their their their uh grandparents house that night uh which left me friday night to have a lot of fun do a lot of things like you know cleaning laundry falling asleep at 9 30 what whoop whoop whoop whoo like that um and then saturday i got up and when i went up to pick them up and uh and last night i could tell we were in for a night we were in for a real night because they were kind of a little tired a little overtired uh but the sniffles were still there the sniffles were there in full effect i'm not gonna lie the sniffles were they were serious business and so i i was just like all right we're gonna do everything now we're gonna we're gonna give you medicine we're gonna slather we're gonna blow some teeth and we started to go to bed at 8 12 i got them upstairs day 12 we brushed teeth we got into pajamas uh laid down i was in the room for two hours trying to soothe everyone trying to calm everyone trying to get everybody to go to sleep one of the kids and so what i started doing i had a fun time with it so that i wouldn't go crazy is i uh i live tweeted it and i was trying to i would read about threading tweets which is where you like write a tweet and then you uh reply to yourself but you cut out the name and you put the your new tweet in so it becomes like this uh a string like a thread and uh i it was fun i did like 16 of them and i it was you should go read it whatever my way uh natty bumper car twitter and um but then i think i read i think i might have done it wrong i wasn't threading properly i improperly threaded uh because i'm new to this i wish i would have known more but i was i was in a bit of a hurried state a harried state as well hey what's going on you want to talk now you don't want to talk uh we got another uh two minutes i was telling the story about last night how you're uh you had the sniffles and how you had you woke up oh and then last night once i got once i got them to bed i was asleep and at 11 30 again the door opens their bedroom door opens and it was you no it wasn't then who was it i don't know oh and you know who was by the door oliver's bear barry he was right by the door do you think he opened the door i don't know it was exciting though oh you want to listen okay we got new uh covers for the earphones don't those feel much better the old ones were like 10 years old and they were they were the old uh foamy foamy things that touch your ears they were yucky they were yucked down well these are the same headphones but these are new pads you'll see that the foamy the foamy are you coming over so i guess we're gonna have a special guest right now oh okay let's not pull everything down though so uh there you go what's out nothing there you go you want to tell a story um no okay well this you have been a great

    Natty Bumpercar's child: interview what did you do today you went to the pool what'd you do with the pool and then we uh went rock climbing rock climbing that doesn't make any sense yes it does where'd you were there mountains no was there snow on the ground no how is that possible climbing on rocks it was a big wall and there was this rope thingy to make us go up and if we fall it makes us go

    Natty Bumpercar: down all the way kind of like a parachute right yeah so like it uh it's called an auto belay an auto belay doesn't it sound very fancy yes and how far up to the top did you get

    Natty Bumpercar's child: all the way you got all the way up to the top yes what was at the top of yours i can't remember

    Natty Bumpercar: mine had mine had a monkey thing mine had a fire truck wait really yeah that's cool

    Natty Bumpercar's child: did uh ollie do it too no why not why not i don't know uh what are you doing tonight you got any big plans no no big plans

    Natty Bumpercar: uh you got a babysitter though right yeah what are you guys you guys gonna have a big party

    Natty Bumpercar's child: big fun time yeah probably probably

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  • Bumperpodcast #290 – Yeti

    Bumperpodcast #290 – Yeti

    Yeti stops by to talk about all of the snow, Bumpercar offends him – and then catches you up on all kinds of fun stuff!

    Do you like snow? Let us know by sending an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com.

    The Bumperpodcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp around Headquarters, in Coffee-Can Alley, with Natty Bumpercar and his entire gaggle of pals! 

    About This Episode

    In this winter-themed episode of Bumperpodcast, host Natty Bumpercar receives a visit from a mostly silent Yeti who delivers bad news about more snow coming. Natty vents about dealing with blizzards, snow days, and cabin fever with his kids, who lasted only 15 minutes playing outside before retreating indoors. He shares the family's preparations for catching a leprechaun for St. Patrick's Day using an elaborate cookie-baited trap, revealing his son Emerson's newfound obsession with getting rich from leprechaun gold. Natty also discusses his painful journey learning guitar for an upcoming kids' show, culminating in a mixed reception from his children when he attempted to perform "If You're Happy and You Know It."

    Memorable Quotes

    “Children see snow and then they're like I want to play in that and then they go outside and they're like maybe this is not so much fun maybe this is kind of cold and kind of hurts my face.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “He used to call leprechauns clovers and it was one of those kid things that I loved more than anything because it was a mistake but I wasn't gonna correct him on it.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “Emerson has become obsessed with being rich and he thinks that the best way to go about doing that is not hard work, is to catch the leprechaun and have him give you his gold coins.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #winter #snowday #parenting #stpatricksday #leprechaun #music #learningguitar #familylife

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: hey everybody it's me natty bumper car and today in studio we have a very special guest i think that's it's it's yeti a very talkative yeti hey yeti how are you doing what are you doing today what are you doing in your eye i just ran out of breath okay yeah yeah okay i get it yeah well so uh yeti is here because we had a giant snow blizzard a thing last week and or two days ago i guess and the ground is still covered in snow and i'm guessing that you're you're here to tell me that this is the last snow of the season right we're not getting any more snow please is that what you're please please please telling me oh come on really when this this weekend okay so evidently this weekend we're gonna get more snow i'm so sick of snow i'm so sick of winter i don't like it i don't like it i don't like it at all i don't like it one bit no i'm not talking about you i'm just saying winter i'm just saying winter in general yeti i love it when you come around i just can't deal with all the winter just come on buddy all right you know what i think what would make you feel better is if you went outside and played in the snow does that sound like a good idea does that sound like something you want to do does that sound like something like maybe you think you would like to do okay well that sounds okay yes exactly okay bye yeti thanks for stopping by wow that was exciting guys because he said that this weekend is going to actually be the last bit of snow and it's not going to be that much snow it's going to be like an inch or two so that's going to add on to what we have already there will be snow drifts there will be children crying going outside because they see snow children see snow and then they're like i want to play in that and then they go outside and they're like baby this is not so much fun maybe this is kind of cold and kind of hurts my face and my hands oh now i'm wet well then i'm really gonna cry because not only am i am wet but i'm also freezing cold that's the reaction that my children had uh two days ago um let's go outside let's go outside it was like we can't go outside it's a blizzard you don't go outside in a blizzard like you don't we do you see you can't see out the window because it's all snow it's a whiteout you don't go outside in that uh which leads to pretty quickly leads to cabin fever which means your kids are just really just running into each other and running into things and falling over and freaking out all day um you know i understand the schools need to close every so often but why oh why and then so we did we went outside i don't know maybe uh 10 30 and uh played for a little bit and uh i think they lasted 15 minutes and it was good running around for 15 minutes and then the little one was like i don't want to do this i was like go back inside i'll shovel but in the big one he kept on grabbing chunks of snow and throwing it back to where i just shoveled and i was just like stop stop doing that stop daddy just i just i just and he was like i know and i was like no then why are you come on so it was good fun i um and then the next day delayed opening the bane of all parents in the world delayed opening so wait that means you're still going to school which means you're going to freak out about going to school but it also means that you're hanging out here with me and freaking out for longer abu abu but that doesn't matter snow day good time we actually had fun we played games we played chess uh pieces were thrown we uh had we had treats sweet treats like cookies and we uh built a box so here's a cool thing this week is uh saint patrick's day week i guess that's maybe i don't know when it is this week and uh i guess it's it's a relatively new thing where they try to capture the leprechaun and it's become a whole ordeal so we had we built a box and we decorated the box and it's it's a trap for the leprechaun and um that's terrible i understand that i haven't you haven't really changed your voice at all for this character okay and so this is very difficult fourth wall uh however i knew that you have a trip for me and i will not be coming to your trip so the leprechaun out okay well so i guess that was a leprechaun that just stuck his head into the studio that's what we're gonna assume that's we're gonna we're gonna pretend that i guess it's difficult to do uh accents and funny voices at the same time perfect that's fine but we did we we built a uh a leprechaun trap and um this year was actually sad because this was the first year that emerson he used to call leprechauns clovers and it was one of those kid things that i loved more than anything because it was a mistake but i wasn't gonna correct it on i wasn't gonna correct him on it and so it was just um he's like we're gonna catch the clover this is last year we're gonna catch the clover where's the clover gonna be is the clover gonna come the clover does shenanigans and i was just like the clover does shenanigans that's i make me that makes me happy um but now we're catching leprechauns and that's fine because it's still fun so we built the uh we built the box and the way the it works is we have it's it's a classic trap it's a box it's going to be up on one on one side it's got two sticks coming down on the front so it's kind of you know holding it or maybe one sec i think we'll do one stick so it's kind of uh positioned it's just balancing there inside the trap there's going to be a plate on the plate there's going to be a cookie uh probably a green like a shamrock cookie we're going to tie string to the uh to the shamrock cookie and we're going to tie that string to the little post that's holding the box standing up theory being that when the leprechaun grabs the cookie to eat it because how can he not so it's a shamrock cookie right there he's gonna pull box is gonna fall boom we got the leprechaun and the goal being when we capture this leprechaun he's gonna take us to his pot of gold emerson has become obsessed with being rich uh and he thinks that the best way to go about doing that is not hard work is not doing well in school and and moving on in life no no no my friends the best way to get rich is to catch the leprechaun and have him give you his gold coins so i will update you next week on what happens i'm very excited i'm very nervous about what could possibly happen in my house this morning he when he was going to school this morning he was just like saint patrick's day is tomorrow and i was like i know that means we have to set up our trap he's like yeah the trap like he was really into it he was really excited so that's that's big news other big news around headquarters i uh i think last week i was telling you that people are having me asking me asking me to work on uh doing a kid show and so i i part of a kid show that i'm doing is to do a couple of songs so i wrote one song so far and i got the idea for another one um and but i need a guitar i need to learn to play the guitar i've been trying to do it for 20 years and i couldn't do it and so over the last few days like 20 minutes a day sometimes even more uh i've been trying to learn guitar and oh my fingers hurt so bad on my uh what is this left hand my pointer finger my ring finger and my left hand and my right hand and my left hand and my right hand and my left hand and my right hand and my left hand and my left hand and my right hand finger the tips of them they hurt i didn't know that i'd heard oh it's gonna hurt a little bit no it hurts a lot bit and now every time i touch anything my fingers are like oh i hope he's not making us play the guitar but i'm not i'm just standing i just put my fingers down it just hurts but it's cool man this is the first time so i figured out all these chords there's like uh wait well first let's see it's e d g b i forgot how the strings go well here's the chords i learned and i learned an e chord an a chord an e minor an a minor a g a d a c a d7 a d7 what so i've started to figure all these chords out and the more i do them the more my fingers seem to kind of know what they're supposed to do um and then so last night what i did was i was like all right let's try to take all these things that i'm starting to figure out and then let's put them into a song and so what song did i figure out um i went i went and i went i went and i went and i found the chords for oh if you're happy and you know it so it's like a strum a strum a strum a strum a strum a strum a strum a strum a strum like that and um so i practiced that a lot last night and then this morning i got up and i practiced it a few times and i was like kids gather round and uh which for them means that they have to they pretend they're their jackets like they actually get on me and they hold on like their coats like i've made like i'm cruella deville making coats of my children for me and i was just like no no no back away back away dada has something amazing to show you and they were like what is it and i pulled out the guitar and i was like what is it and i pulled out the guitar and i was like what is it and i pulled out the guitar and they were like no and i was like the strum a strum a strum a strum a strum a strum actually it wasn't like that it was like strum string string string and ollie got excited emmer was just like no no no and i was like please emmer was just like no no no and i was like please

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  • Bumperpodcast #289

    Bumperpodcast #289

    Bumpercar talks about shows and opportunities and stretching thin and stuff on this week’s episode …

    Do you stretch? Let us know by sending an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com.

    The Bumperpodcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp around Headquarters, in Coffee-Can Alley, with Natty Bumpercar and his entire gaggle of pals! 

     

    About This Episode

    In episode 289 of Bumperpodcast, Natty Bumpercar returns solo after the popular Ollie episode to share tales from a wild comedy weekend. After accidentally putting flour in his tea instead of sugar, Natty recounts performing three shows in three days, including hosting at Pennsylvania's oldest operating movie theater and bombing at a show with only three people in the audience. He celebrates finally connecting jokes that have been in his act for years and discusses exciting opportunities to develop kids' shows, though he's struggling to learn guitar for the performances. Natty hilariously wrestles with balancing family life, show business, and whether his multiple creative pursuits are spreading him too thin.

    Memorable Quotes

    “Let me be the tester, let me take the heat, let me take the bad stuff and you stay away from it. You don't need that flour tea at all.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “There were three people in the crowd and I'm like, is it a good dream? And I'm like, I don't know. Yes it is a good dream, you know why? Because I get to talk and make people giggle giggle giggle.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “I've been trying to figure out how to play guitar for decades. I can't even say the word 'guitar' – that's how bad off I am.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #comedy #stand-upcomedy #performing #kidsshows #guitar #work-lifebalance #parenting #theater

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: good morning bumper podcast that was so fresh and happy and energetic good morning it might not be morning where you're listening i don't know hey good day to you bump good evening to you this is hard this is harder than i expected it was gonna be good good good good times do you bumper podcast it's me natty bumper car and it's the bumper podcast and hooray for that unfortunately there's no ollie here today because everybody loved the ollie episode episode they're like oh give me more of that ollie give me why isn't he there every week i wish it was the ollie podcast well it's not it's still the bumper podcast and i'm natty bumper car and today today i was making some tea some lovely tea and uh the containers were switched and i accidentally put two scoops of uh of flour uh all-purpose flour ap flour they call it into my tea two scoops and uh instead of sugar and no no no no nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope not good i mean i didn't taste it i mean i knew immediately like the second i was like and i looked at i was just like like for a tenth of a second in my brain i was just like maybe it's powdered sugar maybe i've maybe i've invented some sort of powdered sugar tea thing because it's weird powdered sugar to me does taste different than sugar sugar how can sugar taste different it's all the same thing how can potato chips taste so different from mashed potatoes i don't understand oh what's that potatoes on grass oh that tastes totally different than my french fries my friend what about those pierogies or those latkes huh potato pancakes oh well those taste totally different than my uh my uh hischbruns i couldn't think of any other potatoes no but so uh yeah it it it just tastes like flour tea it's just it's not it's bad don't do it don't make that mistake let me make bumper podcast here's the thing i feel like we've been friends for a long time and i feel like i share and i feel like you know you listen which i appreciate and uh here's the thing let me be the uh the tester let me you know take take the heat let me take you know the bad stuff and you you stay away from it you don't need that you don't need it at all just let me you know do it and then complain about it and then it's a shared experience and you can go and you can talk to your friends and you can be like bro i totally blur blur blur like that um and then you don't have to worry about it so good good made your life easier that's what i'm doing that's what we're here for to do for do that's what we're here for do we're here to make your life for easier i um i had such a great weekend man i had man i did uh i had i had show friday and uh it was at a hotel like in a room and like 70 people it was just it was good it was fun and then the very next night um i opened i was uh but i was hosting at a theater in pennsylvania and it was like this old theater uh someone told me it was the oldest operating movie theater in the country it's called the new town theater and there's like i don't know the seats 320 and i think we had around 270 to 300 something like that i don't really know um and i mean it was it was great i don't get to do a lot of theaters and so it's a totally different experience like you go on stage and you're i don't know 10 12 whatever feet away from the crowd and you're elevated and the lighting is different and the sound is different and sometimes it's it's hard to hear them uh the the laughs come in if there are any which unfortunately yes fortunately uh there were there were laughs thanks for laughing uh and then um you know it was just it was a great night the rough part it was about an hour and a half away uh so to get there was i was just like oh tired and then you got to go up and do a show and then you got to drive home and it's late like i pretty i think i got home at around two and then uh i think i slept until like six so that's a big four hours of sleep for you and the night before uh i think the kids had gotten up at like 5 20 or something like that why uh and then sunday night had another show so it's three in a row boom bam boom and uh sunday night no it didn't work out so well there were three people in the crowd three people there was talks of uh the show but that's hard to do because all the comedians have come out you know and those three people are there um and so we kind of just turned into a loosey-goosey open mic-y type thing and had fun with it and then two people showed up like halfway through the show and watched um but you know you have good things you have bad things you know things happen it's it's all good fun it's all good times and you know everybody needs a stage time everybody looking at me needs the stage time so it's good to uh to get up there and bibble babble oh and this so uh at the uh the saturday show uh i had done a bit so so i was doing i was hosting so i was up front and then i was in between the comics and so and in between a lot of people got up to go use the restroom or whatever and so i had to um kind of stall for time a little bit to make sure they could all get back and sit down before the headliners start right makes sense so i did some stuff up front and then when i hit the middle i found connective tissue between what i was doing in the middle and the stuff that i had done up front so i could call back to it and i was so happy because i've been doing these jokes for a long time and it's just weird like for they just had never connected and then on this night it was like boom so then sunday uh i think i did i only did like four minutes because i wanted to get up and see if if it worked together and i wish i could i wish i could remember what it was uh but you know so i just quick ran through the setup and then uh the initial part and then went to the second secondary part and then did the little connection and i was like oh i'm so happy it works of course the three people in the crowd were like does it work though and i'm like i don't know they're like this is your dream and i'm like sure this is my dream they're like is it a good dream and i'm like i don't know yes it is a good dream you know why because i get to talk and i get to talk and i get to talk and i get to talk and i get to make people giggle i make them giggle i make them giggle giggle what i make them giggle like it i giggle giggle and the cool thing is lately i've had several people come to me and talk to me about doing kid shows hey maybe you want to do a kid show here hey do you want to do a kid show here and i've done a few kid shows and um in the past but they're talking about like hey it's going to be your show you're going to be the main guy you're going to be the headline or whatever which i don't know if there's a headliner in kids shows i'll take it sure i don't know if it is uh and and so what i gotta do now is develop specific material for a kid show because i i tried some of my normal stuff and it doesn't always work and so i've been trying to learn how to play the guitar i have my guitar and i've been pulling it out and trying to and it's hard i'm not i don't know why ever since college i've had guitars and i've tried to figure them out and i think it's not a figuring out thing it's just a matter of um actually working on it and i've been trying to figure out how to play the guitar and i've been working with it a lot and i've got like i think my fingers are too big or my guitar is too small like i've got it's it's kind of a tiny guitar i can't oh it's upstairs i was gonna tell you what it was and i love how it looks and it's so fun and cute but i think it might be too tiny for me and all the guitar lessons that i look at online the uh there's like a little circle thing that they're using as a uh visual point to a reference point and it's just mine's in a different place and i don't know what to do i don't know i feel like if i uh sat down with somebody who can play and they showed me things then maybe i could figure it out but it's not true i mean i've really for a long time decades been trying to figure out how to play good car good car i can't even say the word that's how bad off i am good car um but i want to so i want to have songs and i want to have visual stuff and like figure out little games because with kids you can't just tell jokes because they're going to be like nope sucker so i need to figure out how to play guitar and i've been trying to figure out how to play guitar now we're doing this now we're doing this and still have it be quick and moving and keep them engaged and here we go over here and now we're over here and now this thing is happening now that thing is happening oh now there's pig and everything oh and now we're singing a song um and i think it'll be great and i think it'll be great fun the only downside the thing that freaks me out is the kid shows are going to be during the day during the day on weekends um i'm pretty busy on weekends you know why because i've got kids okay i've got two kids i don't know if we have them before if i've ever mentioned them but i do i have kids and um so that'll be a bit more juggling um but then i was thinking about it and i was like oh well maybe you know they're getting a little bit older maybe they can come and help out or something and i can quote them a couple bucks but then i was just like oh i don't want them to get involved with show business ah so it's kind of a up and down debate so what i've decided to do Come back after a 10-year hiatus. The cartoonist, animator, that guy's going to be here. The writer, that one's going to be there as well. And, you know, probably the one who goes to the gym so he can look fit, so he can look good. You know what I'm saying? And then there's the one who cooks a lot, like a good cook, cooker. And there's the baker. There's a lot of bumper cars is what I'm saying. That's a lot of stuff. I don't even know if that's a lot. I mean, it feels like a lot of stuff. Is that too much stuff? Am I stretching myself too thin? Is that the whole point of everything?

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  • Bumperpodcast #288 – Dinos & Animals

    Bumperpodcast #288 – Dinos & Animals

    Today, we have one of our favorite guests on the show to talk about dinosaurs, and animals. It’s more fun than it should be on today’s Bumperpodcast!

    Do you listen? Let us know by sending an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com.

    The Bumperpodcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp around Headquarters, in Coffee-Can Alley, with Natty Bumpercar and his entire gaggle of pals! 

    About This Episode

    In this heartwarming episode of Bumperpodcast, host Natty Bumpercar is joined by a special guest, Oliver, who's home sick from school with wobbly legs and a cough. The two dive into an adorable discussion about dinosaurs, covering sauropods, theropods, and omnivores while trying to remember which creatures eat what. They also chat about Oliver's recent dentist visit where he learned he has forty teeth, and transition into talking about meat-eating and plant-eating animals from lions to giraffes. The episode concludes with Oliver performing an impromptu song about all his favorite things, from dinosaurs to family members, making this a sweet and silly departure from the show's usual puppet-driven format.

    Memorable Quotes

    “I didn't know I had a million teeth! Oh, he said ten teeth on the hair and ten teeth on here.”

    — Oliver

    “Don't spit on my microphone with your little sick spit, and don't touch your mouth with your sick germs. Keep your germs away from me! Daddy's got shows this weekend!”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “That means I'm an omnivore. Yeah, because I eat anything.”

    — Oliver

    Topics: #dinosaurs #animals #family #children #education #beingsick #dentist

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: Oh hey Bumper Podcast, it's me Natty Bumper Car and today I've got a little friend. Who is it?

    Unknown: Oliver.

    Natty Bumpercar: Oliver, why are you here? What's going on?

    Unknown: I don't know.

    Natty Bumpercar: Why are you at home today?

    Unknown: Because I don't have school.

    Natty Bumpercar: But I think you do have school. I don't have school because my head will hurt. Your head was hurting? Yeah. And what happened when you were going down the stairs? What happened to your legs?

    Unknown: They were wobbly.

    Natty Bumpercar: You had wobbly legs? Oh no! That's the saddest thing I've ever heard. Do you feel better now?

    Unknown: Yeah!

    Natty Bumpercar: That makes me happy. You slept a lot today. Uh oh. You have a big cough too, right?

    Unknown: I know.

    Natty Bumpercar: Why do you keep coughing? All the time.

    Unknown: I don't know.

    Natty Bumpercar: Well, do you think you keep coughing because you're a frog?

    Unknown: Wah!

    Natty Bumpercar: Because if you're a frog, I need to know right now, my friend. Wah! Okay, you're not a frog. Hey Ollie, so when you were sleeping today, did you have any dreams or anything? Yeah! What did you dream about? I don't know! Secret dreams? No! You don't have to yell. You don't have to yell because people can hear you. Were they… Silly dreams, or funny dreams, or scary dreams?

    Unknown: They're not scary dreams.

    Natty Bumpercar: Yeah.

    Unknown: I'm scared of scary dreams!

    Natty Bumpercar: You're scared of scary dreams? Okay, I didn't know that. Let's stop touching everything, all right? Let's put our hands on our knees. That's good. We can hear you breathing. Breathing and coughing. That's going to be the name of this podcast. Breathing and coughing. And breathing and coughing. Breathing and coughing. Breathing and coughing. Ah. Um, so Ollie, what did you do this week that was fun? Did you go somewhere and lay down on a chair and they… I did…

    Unknown: Wait a minute.

    Natty Bumpercar: Wait a minute. Where did you go this week?

    Unknown: Uh, nowhere!

    Natty Bumpercar: Your brother was there too? He was in a different room?

    Unknown: Yeah.

    Natty Bumpercar: Where'd you go?

    Unknown: We don't know. I don't know.

    Natty Bumpercar: And then afterwards they gave you a prize?

    Unknown: What is that?

    Natty Bumpercar: You're like a goldfish. You have no memory. This was…

    Unknown: Is that the dentist?

    Natty Bumpercar: That's it. You went to the dentist. Was it fun?

    Unknown: Yeah.

    Natty Bumpercar: What did you do there? Did they look at your teeth? Did they count your teeth? Yeah. How many teeth did you have?

    Unknown: A million? Oh, he said ten teeth on the hair and ten teeth on here.

    Natty Bumpercar: Oh, so you had ten teeth on that side. So you had twenty teeth? Ten. But ten on this side on the bottom. Ten on this side on the bottom. Ten on this side on the top. Ten on the bottom. 10 on the top, 10 on that side on the top, so that's 10, 20, 30, 40!

    Unknown: Oh, yeah.

    Natty Bumpercar: Yep, yep.

    Unknown: I didn't know.

    Natty Bumpercar: And did they ask you any questions, like how many times did you brush your teeth?

    Unknown: Yep.

    Natty Bumpercar: And what did you say? Uh… You said twice, I think you said. But you don't. You actually only brush them once. Dirty little secret. But we need to start brushing them twice, right? Don't spit on my microphone with your little sick spit, and don't touch your mouth with your sick germs. Keep your germs away from me! Daddy's got shows this weekend! Bum, bum, bum. Hey, what is your, um, you want to talk about dinosaurs?

    Unknown: Yeah.

    Natty Bumpercar: Dinosaurs or animals, what do you think is a better thing to talk about?

    Unknown: Dinosaurs.

    Natty Bumpercar: Oh, of course.

    Unknown: I don't know what all the dinosaurs are. Let's do them.

    Natty Bumpercar: Okay. Uh, what is a sauropod?

    Unknown: Uh, stegosaurus?

    Natty Bumpercar: Stegosaurus is, isn't a sauropod the one that, that are on two feet? Yeah. Didn't we figure that out? Oh, T-Rex! T-Rex is, is a sauropod.

    Unknown: And Spinosaurus!

    Natty Bumpercar: Spinosaurus is a, I hope we're doing this right. I think a Spinosaurus, if, if, if two feet is a sauropod, then Spinosaurus. Spinosaurus is a sauropod. Yeah, he walks on two legs.

    Unknown: What about, uh, what's another one?

    Natty Bumpercar: Dimetrodon eats meat because he walks on four legs. Wait, Dimetrodon?

    Unknown: Yeah. Does he eat meat? Yeah, because he walks on four legs. But if he walks on four legs, isn't he a theropod and doesn't he not eat meat?

    Natty Bumpercar: I thought most theropods were plant eaters. Some theropods eat meat.

    Unknown: Oh. So if they eat meat, what kind of, what are they?

    Natty Bumpercar: Uh, are they omnivores? They're omnivores. They're omnivores. They're omnivores. Okay, so what kind of omnivores are they? They're omnivores. They're omnivores.

    Unknown: They're omnivores. They're omnivores. Are they? A troodon is an omnivore.

    Natty Bumpercar: A troodon is? Yeah. He's also the smartest dinosaur. Right? Yep.

    Unknown: That's what the book said. Do we read a lot of books about dinosaurs?

    Natty Bumpercar: Yeah.

    Unknown: Uh, what are the kind that fly? I can't think of that. Uh.

    Natty Bumpercar: Uh. Uh. Uh. Uh.

    Unknown: Uh.

    Natty Bumpercar: Uh. Uh. Uh. Uh. Uh.

    Unknown: Uh.

    Natty Bumpercar: Uh. Uh. Uh. Uh. Uh.

    Unknown: Paracelophilus. Paracelophilus?

    Natty Bumpercar: Paracelophilus? Yeah. Is he a… Yeah, he's a plant eater. What is a distinguishing feature of a Paracelophilus? Like, what is something different about him? It's on his head.

    Unknown: He has a crest.

    Natty Bumpercar: He has a crest or does he have a horn?

    Unknown: Crest.

    Natty Bumpercar: Oh, he has a crest. Okay. And I thought, but isn't he the one who can make noises with the thing on his head?

    Unknown: Yeah.

    Natty Bumpercar: Okay. Are there any… So let's say you talk about meat eaters. We talked about… Plant eaters. Are there any other kinds of dinosaurs? Yeah. What kind?

    Unknown: Swimming creatures.

    Natty Bumpercar: Oh, swimming creatures.

    Unknown: I know what it is. A plesiosaurs.

    Natty Bumpercar: Oh, I like plesiosaurs. What do the swimming creatures eat?

    Unknown: Fish.

    Natty Bumpercar: They eat fish? Okay. You know, I don't like fish.

    Unknown: A dinosuchus?

    Natty Bumpercar: Oh, wait. What is a dinosuchus? You saw that on your show.

    Unknown: It's a crocodile. It's a big, big crocodile.

    Natty Bumpercar: Oh, it is? It sounds kind of scary.

    Unknown: Fish sticks or fish?

    Natty Bumpercar: Fish sticks or fish. Yeah. So a dinosuchus… I like to eat it. You like… You love fish sticks, don't you? Maybe for dinner we'll have some fish sticks.

    Unknown: Whether it be… Not chicken ones. I don't like the chicken ones.

    Natty Bumpercar: You don't like the chicken sticks? You like fish sticks?

    Unknown: Yeah.

    Natty Bumpercar: That's good to know. So does that mean you're a sea dinosaur? A water dinosaur?

    Unknown: I eat chicken nuggets or meat. And broccoli. Broccoli and peas?

    Natty Bumpercar: Broccoli and peas are your favorite vegetables.

    Unknown: Plants. Okay. That means I'm an omnivore.

    Natty Bumpercar: You're an omnivore?

    Unknown: Yeah, because I eat anything.

    Natty Bumpercar: You know what else is an omnivore? What? A wolf.

    Unknown: Why?

    Natty Bumpercar: Because they eat anything they can get their hands on. I think wolves are. And bears are, too. Right?

    Unknown: They both eat meat.

    Natty Bumpercar: Yeah, but they eat meat, but they'll eat… Bears will eat berries and stuff, too. And I think maybe roots and whatnot. Fish! They'll eat fish. I think they'll eat fish. They love salmon. They'll catch salmon right out of the river.

    Unknown: And we like some… I don't know.

    Natty Bumpercar: But do you think…

    Unknown: Let's talk about animals now.

    Natty Bumpercar: Oh, you want to talk about animals now? You're really driving the show. This is great.

    Unknown: Let's talk about meat eaters.

    Natty Bumpercar: Okay, we're back to meat eaters.

    Unknown: Lions!

    Natty Bumpercar: Lions are meat eaters. What about hyenas?

    Unknown: Yep.

    Natty Bumpercar: What about… Is a zebra a meat eater?

    Unknown: No. No, it's a plant eater.

    Natty Bumpercar: It's a plant eater.

    Unknown: And a tiger.

    Natty Bumpercar: Tiger is a meat eater. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. What about an eagle?

    Unknown: Fish eater.

    Natty Bumpercar: Fish eater. Womp, womp.

    Unknown: That's all the meat eaters.

    Natty Bumpercar: That's all of them? There's got to be more than that.

    Unknown: I think there's one that I know.

    Natty Bumpercar: What about Irving Brownsox? Is he a meat eater?

    Unknown: He's a dog eater.

    Natty Bumpercar: Ew! He's not a… He is a dog. He's not a dog eater. Come on.

    Unknown: Socks is our pet.

    Natty Bumpercar: Socks is our pet. You're right. You're so right. How could I ever forget that? Oh my goodness.

    Unknown: Now let's talk about plant eaters.

    Natty Bumpercar: Plant eaters. Where my plant eaters at? Whoop, whoop, whoop. What's a plant eater?

    Unknown: A zebra.

    Natty Bumpercar: Oh, and what about a giraffe?

    Unknown: Yeah!

    Natty Bumpercar: Did you know that giraffe's necks are so long?

    Unknown: Yeah. With the blackish horses.

    Natty Bumpercar: Oh, you're very right. We're bringing it back around to dinosaurs. You're really good at this, Oliver. I had no idea. You're better at it than I am. Normally I just get on here and say a lot of junk for ten minutes. Do you think we should go pretty soon?

    Unknown: Yeah.

    Natty Bumpercar: Well, we've got to go. Where are we going to go? What do we got to do? We got some errands? We got to go pick up some garbage?

    Unknown: No.

    Natty Bumpercar: What are we going to go pick up?

    Unknown: Emerson.

    Natty Bumpercar: Oh, no. Oh, we got to go pick Emerson up. That's right. Because he went to school today. You've been out of school. You were out of school yesterday. You're out of school today. You're probably, I don't even know. We're going to see about tomorrow. Because you are not getting much better. But you say you're feeling better. You just had that little fever yesterday.

    Unknown: Now can we go back upstairs, please?

    Natty Bumpercar: Before we go upstairs, can you sing me a quick song?

    Unknown: Yeah.

    Natty Bumpercar: Well, let's hold on. Let's think about it. Do you want to hear a song?

    Unknown: Yeah. It was all my favorite.

    Natty Bumpercar: Yeah, do that one. One, two, three, go.

    Unknown: It was all my favorite. It was all my favorite. It's all the dinosaurs. It's all the farm animals. It's all the jellyfish. It's all the fishies. It's all the whales. It's all the polar bears. It's all the… Oh. Oh.

    Natty Bumpercar: Mommy and Daddy.

    Unknown: It's both an hours. It's Mommy and Daddy and Saxton.

    Natty Bumpercar: And Emerson.

    Unknown: Yeah.

    Natty Bumpercar: And Gigi and Pop-Pop?

    Unknown: Yeah.

    Natty Bumpercar: And Keegan and Kam?

    Unknown: Yeah.

    Natty Bumpercar: Hooray. I love you, buddy.

    Unknown: Okay. Let's go.

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