Natty Bumpercar: oh hey bumper podcast it's me it's it's me and and we're back with a full episode an episode that's got it had the commercial and and it had it has an interview with pig that he lined up finally he got he did something he talked to somebody and and we we don't have call-ins we don't have a review that's fine you know what we build little baby steps little baby steps we're gonna get there how are you doing what have you been up to me oh me oh so much oh so much like what well last week we had a birthday party here at the house and here at headquarters and so by the numbers it was an eight-year-old's birthday party and it was a spooky Star Wars party because he likes Star Wars and it's in October so I just crammed spooky in front of it thinking oh well that makes sense what does spooky Star Wars mean no idea I have no idea I don't know but it worked for me and so what it meant was I got to do a lot of Star Wars type of decorations and activity type things and then I got to make some things that were kind of spooky like little touch boxes they're called where you stick your hand in a box you can't see what's in there and I made all these cool drawings for like or wampa hearts so all these like Star Wars things and you'd stick your hand in there and ah what is it it's creepy uh that was the intention of course but of course the way kids work uh what what happened was exactly kind of what I didn't want to have happen um one of the things I assumed was they would run by the boxes and ignore them and be like who cares which I would have been fine with but um one of the kids stuck his hand into the box of of toes and he was like oh my god I'm wookie toes it was wookie toes and he grabs me he goes oh and then he pulls his hand out holding all the baby carrots that were inside the box and I was like oh no no put the and he just turns and flings them like hard throws them into the face of another child carrots have been thrown I just want to point out there was something there were 25 28 I don't know how many kids uh exactly and then all the uh parents that come with those kids there were 70 people roughly at my house 70 people at my house for a spooky Star Wars party it didn't rain it rained a lot the next day but it didn't rain so that's good um I had bought uh pool floats because Target has sales like super duper sales this time of the year and so I bought like 10 beach balls for 58 cents each and like all these pool toys and stuff and I threw them all in the backyard and I um and when the kids all got here and like I had a table set up and we had made masks so dear Etsy don't ever make your own masks especially if you're making 30 of them why because it takes forever and so like you draw the thing you cut the thing out you cut out the eye holes and then you have to click click put the holes in the sides and then get the rubbery string and then you have to tie the rubbery string I mean it's like it was it was an ordeal it was an ordeal and while we're doing it the entire time we're making masks they were stormtrooper masks I was like they're they're not even gonna look at these they're not even gonna they're gonna run right they don't care why would they care they're masks so they were on the table when they came in and the goodie bags were on the table and the little light up sword things were on the table right kids ran past that stuff to start attacking the uh the pool floats and then then they started attacking each other with the pool floats so I had bought these three things you know like outside of businesses when there's like a new business and uh they put the like the the blow up guy who has kind of like crazy hair and he like wiggles and waves everywhere so they had those but they were pool floats and they were like seven feet tall and pretty you know they were they were huge and um so I had put them in the backyard I didn't really know what kids were gonna do with them I on I mean honestly I had no idea but what they did with them was insane and I'm gonna tell you all about it right after the pig interview
Aloysious J. Pig: all right hey everybody it's me Aloysius J. Pig and finally bumper car got the software figured out so I can start interviewing people again which is great because that means I ain't gonna talk to him as much and I can talk to very interesting people I suppose the person who's on the phone right now is probably a very interesting person I know his name is David I know his name is David G and after that I get a little confused but I think it's David Godby so Mr. David Godby are you on the line I am how are you Aloysius I'm flammable how about how about yourself I'm doing pretty well a little gassy but thanks for asking I didn't ask about that hey what's going on what'd you eat lately
Unknown: oh everything
Aloysious J. Pig: mostly my kids leftovers oh you're like a you're like a carrion you're like a vulture you're like an American eagle it's it's true it's true you're soaring over you're like a helicopter parent but
Unknown: only to pick up your your kids refuse that's true I'm soaring proudly over a huge uh garbage
Aloysious J. Pig: pile of leftovers now what kind of food do your kids eat oh
Unknown: a lot of couscous they're big pizza eaters tonight we had uh bagel pizzas for dinner
Aloysious J. Pig: do you ever say like when they're eating couscous do you ever like you're talking to them and you're like what do you want they're like couscous and you're like you sound like a pigeon this is like
Unknown: couscous are they no we don't do that so much we do have a babysitter that um it's what whenever uh whenever she's trying to get them to eat it always sounds like she's forcing it because they try your couscous well you don't like you don't like the couscous how about the queen noah
Aloysious J. Pig: you don't want the queen noah I like how she sounds is she available I mean I don't mean to get in your business but she's her accent reminds me of something oh she's a she is a um
Unknown: she's very uh taken I don't I don't know if you could handle her Aloysius she's a
Aloysious J. Pig: that's a lot of lady oh wow oh well all right you know maybe I'm just a pig to fit the bill is all I'm saying well that's hey that's possible that's the uh the course of true love never runs smoothly so is that a bumper sticker what do you what is that like a t-shirt
Unknown: uh no that's Shakespeare who I William Shakespeare he's a famous playwright oh
Aloysious J. Pig: Billy Shakespeare oh wait a minute nice segue speaking of playwrights help me a little bit yourself and what you're up to that's what I do right gosh thanks for asking um I actually I have
Unknown: uh I am um I'm an actor and I have started doing solo performance so I I write uh plays based on uh things that happen in my life oh like couscous is that gonna make it into a play couscous could very well make it into the next show yeah um things that happen in my life and then I write a play about them but what's interesting is I'm the only actor in the play it's called it's called a solo performance or a one-man show where I play all the different characters that have that um that happen in these different
Aloysious J. Pig: scenes from my life wait a minute so you're like talking to yourself and you're like I'm the man in the mirror no I'm the man in the mirror like that kind of like that only I have
Unknown: to be the man in the mirror and then I have to be the mirror too
Aloysious J. Pig: my mind just exploded what did you talk about pick up your mind you're gonna need that I lost all my marbles I lost it I you know what I do the same thing I do what I call a one pig show every day in the shower and I'm like right now I'm the one who's washing my tootsies like that
Unknown: is that that kind of show it is I don't know it's it's similar only there's less soap involved it's a dirty show well no it's just not quite as clean as your shower show that's all
Aloysious J. Pig: well here's the thing I shower in mud again I am a pig I gotta keep the flies off you understand yeah that's a good point yeah because here's the thing the flies they know how sweet I am
Unknown: they look at me they know yeah they want to sink their teeth into some aloe issues right who does
Aloysious J. Pig: it at this point I look around the corner I gotta be like is the coast clear otherwise I'm not going because I don't want somebody grabbing me and taking a bite you know right because you know
Unknown: I'm the one with the bacon and put it in a pan yeah you don't want it to be you I don't want it
Aloysious J. Pig: to be me so wait you're an actor that's true okay let's do some act I took some acting classes and you know back in uh Juilliard and I went to this for a while so let's do some acting classes let's see here uh be happy good good I like what you went with that okay do you like that yeah it was
Unknown: It's an understated choice.
Aloysious J. Pig: Act like you're amazed. See? This guy's for real. For real. So now we got that half on chest. Now you write these stories?
Unknown: I do. I started a few years ago writing a story that happened to me once. And I had so much fun doing it. I knew I wanted to perform it in front of my friends and see if they liked it. And I got such good feedback. People enjoyed it so much. I thought, oh, I should write this whole story. I should expand this. So now the show that I have coming up is actually almost an hour long. It's about 50 minutes long.
Aloysious J. Pig: Whoa, whoa, whoa. How many commercial breaks we got?
Unknown: Not one.
Aloysious J. Pig: Okay, because my bladder is very tiny. And sometimes, you know, I got to go potty. So what am I going to do? Am I going to miss the whole thing? Can I pause? What are we doing?
Unknown: You should bring a small sack.
Aloysious J. Pig: Okay. All right. Careful. I see what you're doing.
Unknown: Or other sponge-type material.
Aloysious J. Pig: Oh, the theater's not going to appreciate that. But okay. All right.
Unknown: You know what? We have to live for today, Aloysius. We can't. No day but today. Did you just YOLO me? I might have.
Aloysious J. Pig: Did you just accidental YOLO me?
Unknown: Yeah, it wasn't on purpose. I'm not young enough to do that on purpose. If that happens, it's an accident.
Aloysious J. Pig: Accidental YOLO on the 47.
Unknown: Can we get a YOLO card? Yeah.
Aloysious J. Pig: Oh, you're definitely you're back on the bench, sir. If you YOLO like that at your age, you're probably going to break a hip or something. I just want you to be careful. Careful.
Unknown: I should really look twice before I YOLO.
Aloysious J. Pig: Because we don't have that kind of insurance on this podcast. So if somebody, you know, has a YOLO accident, I can't do nothing for you. You're not going to sue me. I'm just going to hang up the phone and be like, I never talked to him.
Unknown: Can I get workman's comp for it? Yeah, sure. We'll pay you double what you're making right now. What is that? Absolutely nothing.
Aloysious J. Pig: Perfect. All right. Life of an actor. Time zero. Did you, did somebody, Bumper Guy told me, I'm going to come back to this. But did you used to do, speaking of Shakespeare, what's it called? You're out in the mud. You're a jester. You're eating turkey legs. Oh, yeah.
Unknown: I used to work at Renaissance Fairs.
Aloysious J. Pig: Really?
Unknown: Oh, yeah. That's when I was young.
Aloysious J. Pig: Now, do they have rides at Renaissance Fairs?
Unknown: They do. They have human powered rides. So it's kind of rides, kind of like what you would find at an amusement park. Only instead of being powered by electricity or machines, they're all powered by big burly guys named Raven.
Aloysious J. Pig: Hold on a second here. Big burly guys, you say, huh?
Unknown: Yeah. With multiple piercings.
Aloysious J. Pig: Yo-lo. You know what I'm saying? I'm just like, so what did you do at the place? Were you one of the burly? Are you burly? I don't even know.
Unknown: I'm burly from the knees down. That's I'm very thick and hardy from the knees. Down everywhere else. I'm spindly knees down.
Aloysious J. Pig: So you got cankles. Is that what we're talking about?
Unknown: Well, I don't like to brag, but yeah, there's I mean, there's there's definitely some some thickness going on down there. There's some tree trunk action now.
Aloysious J. Pig: So bumper car. One time he bought new shoes. He was so excited and he took a picture of the shoes and he was like, hey, everybody, check out my new shoes online. And people were like, nice cankles bumper. And like he I didn't he didn't even know what it was. And he's all crying to me. And I was just like, bro. You got some thick ankles happening.
Unknown: Like, he should know better than to post pictures of his ankles. Here's the thing. The cankles is just a very hip insult. So even if you don't have them, people like to say that you do, because that insult, that insult hasn't been around as long as, you know, fat butt. Fat butt. What's that? Well, if you have if you have a big butt, people have been saying fat butt for a long time. Cankles is relatively new on the internet. And I think that's what's happening on the on the on the insult scene.
Aloysious J. Pig: I've never heard the term fat butt. Hey, what's up, fat butt? I never heard that.
Unknown: That's something people say. Oh, oh, really? You've never heard the term fat butt? What?
Aloysious J. Pig: What? You got a fat, fat what? What? What?
Unknown: You got a big fat butt.
Aloysious J. Pig: You got a fat, fat butt. Yeah. Okay. I mean, it's fun, but I never heard it.
Unknown: Wow. Well, Alan, it's just I'm really sorry, but if you've never heard the term, it means people it means people say it when you're not listening. No.
Aloysious J. Pig: Wait a minute. No. Wait a minute. I'm feeling more self-conscious than I ever felt have on my on my own.
Unknown: You know what? You know what? Let's not let's not keep talking about this because you are you are a beautiful creature. You are a child of the universe. You are a beautiful pig son of God. You have nothing to be ashamed of.
Aloysious J. Pig: I'm beautiful. No matter what they might say.
Unknown: Hey, Aloysius, I want you to know big is beautiful.
Aloysious J. Pig: The world is in the world of the world's the world. The word. Can't keep me down.
Unknown: I think it's where words the words can keep me.
Aloysious J. Pig: Yeah. I don't know the words to this song, but it's making me cry.
Unknown: Aloysius, I want you to take a second. Just give yourself to take your take your tiny pig arms and just give yourself a big old hug. Just self hug.
Aloysious J. Pig: Okay. This is awkward. I don't even got arms, but I'm going to imagine I do and I'm going to give. Okay. See how nice that feels. You know what? I think that maybe one day I'm going to sit down and I'm going to write my own play about this conversation and I'm going to perform it in front of my friends and see what they say. Then I'm going to expand it. And then I'm not. Wait a minute. So tell me, what is your play about? I was trying to bring it back.
Unknown: I it's it's called Dude, Where's My Karma? And it's a movie.
Aloysious J. Pig: That's a movie, right? No.
Unknown: No. Well, no, that's just it. It that it sounds like the title of a movie, but I I added ma to the end instead of dude, where's my car? It's dude, where's my karma?
Aloysious J. Pig: Now, is that like you added ma like manamana like that? Very.
Unknown: It's very much like that.
Aloysious J. Pig: Manamana. Like that. Okay. Okay. Here's my karma. Oh, yeah. Manamana. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.
Unknown: I don't know. It's a, have you ever felt? Have you ever been somewhere where you felt like, wow, I just, I don't know if I belong here. Every word I'm here is a little bit different than me. I don't really fit in. Have you ever had that experience?
Aloysious J. Pig: Bro, I'm a, I'm a two foot tall pig hanging out in a world that doesn't really, you know, acknowledge or look at. Yeah, yeah.
Unknown: Yeah. So all the, all the time.
Aloysious J. Pig: Oh, basically my whole life. Yeah.
Unknown: Oh, that's sad. So that's what it was like for me growing up.
Aloysious J. Pig: Really?
Unknown: People were nice to me, but I kind of felt like, I don't know if I fit in around here. I'm a little different.
Aloysious J. Pig: Where'd you grow up? The moon?
Unknown: Kentucky.
Aloysious J. Pig: Basically what I said, right?
Unknown: Pretty much. It is a different planet.
Aloysious J. Pig: Are there any craters in Kentucky?
Unknown: Yes.
Aloysious J. Pig: Okay, so you might have been on the moon. That's what I'm just saying. There's a parallel here. Was Lance Armstrong the first astronaut to ever be in Kentucky?
Unknown: No, he was the second. John Glenn was the first.
Aloysious J. Pig: Tom Glenn was the first. Lance Armstrong was the second. Tom Ford was the third.
Unknown: No, Lance Armstrong was the first one to bike to the moon. You're getting your astronauts confused.
Aloysious J. Pig: I conflate. Sometimes I do conflate. I do.
Unknown: Hey, that happens. This is the best of us, and me.
Aloysious J. Pig: So you grew up in Kentucky. Kentucky.
Unknown: Do you know that's a Shawnee word that means sacred hunting ground?
Aloysious J. Pig: Kentucky does?
Unknown: Yes, the Kentucky.
Aloysious J. Pig: Really? And the Shawnee, they were the Native American, their original.
Unknown: Native American tribe, yeah.
Aloysious J. Pig: Now, so where you, oh, where Bubba Crow grew up, it's in Macon, Georgia. And there was the Okmulgee Indians there, a tribe. And they had, what do they have, the doodads? Oh, there were these giant mounds. What was it called? It was called, I don't remember. But we used to take field trips there, and it was wonderful. Were they big burial mounds? I want to say maybe, but I don't know if they were. I can't, I can't. It was 100 years ago when I was there, so I don't really know.
Unknown: Were they mounds of chocolate syrup?
Aloysious J. Pig: No, none of that I would remember. There was no whipped cream. There was no cherries on top. There was just.
Unknown: That is disappointing.
Aloysious J. Pig: And I feel like it was like a National Parks thing where you could actually go in, and maybe they had done some sort of, not renovating, but it's not a bungalow, but like they had made a reenactment of a, you know, whatever. I can't remember, but it was Okmulgee Mounds. Something, I got to look it up. I don't know. I'll figure it out. But so what kind, did you have stuff like that?
Unknown: No, we didn't have stuff like that. Kentucky has one of the largest, maybe the largest natural indoor caves in the world, Mammoth Cave, that has like stalactites and stalagmites in it.
Aloysious J. Pig: Which ones are on the top? Which ones are on the bottom?
Unknown: Stalactites with a C is on the ceiling. Stalagmite with a G. And the G is on the ground.
Aloysious J. Pig: Oh, so the G, oh, I see what you did there. The C stands for ceiling and the G stands for ground.
Unknown: That's my mnemonic device. Excuse me? My mnemonic device, my phenomenon device.
Aloysious J. Pig: Now what is a mnemonic, that word, device?
Unknown: Mnemonic is something that helps you remember something else.
Aloysious J. Pig: Okay, so how am I going to remember that word? What's my mnemonic device for mnemonic?
Unknown: That's just it. You don't get one. You just have to memorize it. Isn't that ironic?
Aloysious J. Pig: Yes. Just like that song by that Canadian girl whose name I can't, Amy Mann, I think her name is.
Unknown: Yeah, I don't think that's it.
Aloysious J. Pig: It's probably not it. She was Moose on You Can't Do That on Television.
Unknown: I think you're conflating again.
Aloysious J. Pig: Okay, it happens a lot is what I'm saying. The mind wanders. The mind gets confused.
Unknown: That's true.
Aloysious J. Pig: So you were born in Kentucky?
Unknown: Kentucky. So the gist of the show is I grew up in a wonderful, loving household. My dad and my two sisters, a very loving, welcoming family. Everything about them is great. But my dad is very Christian. We grew up Methodist. Oh, okay. And mainly because, you know, his dad was before him. And generally, the kind of household you grow up in is kind of the religious path that you take.
Aloysious J. Pig: Oh, Bumpa Kai's kids are doomed then.
Unknown: It's true. I know, right? That guy, he's doing a number on those guys.
Aloysious J. Pig: Womp womp. They're going to join the circus religion or whatever that is.
Unknown: Debbie Downer theme music. They're like, oh, look, gypsies are coming back. Here we go. But the… So one of the things that was really important to my dad is that, you know, we go to church every Sunday and that we kind of embrace the teachings of the church and that we have a very genuine relationship with God. He really emphasized that. Making it very personal and, you know, figuring it out for yourself. You have that personal connection yourself. And so the more I explore that notion, kind of really figuring out what…
Aloysious J. Pig: Oh, no. You just… Robot it off. Say that last sentence again.
Unknown: Oh, the more I explore the notion of kind of defining my own personal relationship with God and figuring out what that is for me, the more I realized I wasn't really getting that out of the church that we were going to and what we were… Christianity that we were practicing that I was learning all about. So it was a difficult decision, but I started exploring other… Spiritual paths, other kinds of faith. And I didn't just go… I didn't think, oh, well, Methodist isn't quite it. Let me try Baptist or let me try Catholic. I just completely ditched Christianity altogether and I kind of went to the other side of the world. And even though it was weird, it's really difficult for my family. You know, initially they thought it was just kind of a phase and, oh, it's something he's going through. So I didn't really talk to them very much about it until after I finished college. So kind of like seven or eight… Eight years, because this started early in high school.
Aloysious J. Pig: Okay.
Unknown: And I kind of, you know, spent kind of some formative time figuring out what it is that I wanted to do. And, you know, I still didn't figure that out at that point. But once I finished college, I was going to move away to New York City.
Aloysious J. Pig: That's a den of evil up there, you know?
Unknown: Yes. Thank goodness. Bring it on. Yuck. But I got to… So I had to talk with my dad because that was the really kind of the… You know, the most important relationship for me. And, you know, I told him that it wasn't my path and I needed to figure out what my path was going to be. And it was really hard for him to hear. But over the years, we've always kind of maintained an open dialogue about it so that if he ever wants to ask me about what it is that I'm practicing, we don't want to get to a point where we feel like, oh, we can't talk about it. It's too difficult or it's too weird. Oh, okay. We want to try to, you know, at least be able to discuss what's going on.
Aloysious J. Pig: Wow. And so the whole show is about just like this journey, this whole path that you were on and everything?
Unknown: Yeah, very much so. So that's kind of… That's really how things started. And then when I moved to New York, when I moved to New York City, I started volunteering and then working at a place that taught a lot of different kind of spiritual practices. And it was, you know, they taught yoga, but it's more than just yoga. It was also meditation and, you know, Kabbalah and drawing on the right side of the brain. Almost any kind of alternative or, you know, different kind of spiritual path you can think of, they offered some kind of class in. So it was really kind of a crash course. I almost think of it as like a master's degree in spiritual studies because I, over the course of several years, I studied so much. I studied so many different things that really kind of opened my eyes and gave me a better sense of, you know, kind of what's out there and what are different people practice and what are the things about those practices that appeal to me.
Aloysious J. Pig: So I'm curious. So you grew up in Kentucky and it was a fairly religious family and then you moved to New York and you kind of just dove in and just what you just said, it was like you got like a master's in like… So are you a very spiritual person? Like you look for that stuff?
Unknown: I do. I really, this is one of those things that I don't… People now, it's kind of a cliche nowadays. A lot of people like to say, oh, I'm not religious, but I'm spiritual, you know, and their eyes get really moist and dewy when they say that as if that makes them a wonderful person. But that's kind of how I feel. Like I'm very into…
Aloysious J. Pig: Wait, did your eyes just get dewy when you said that? I'm just checking.
Unknown: Yeah, they did. A little bit? Yeah, just a bit. But that's, you know, that's very much how I think I'm very into finding what feels like an authentic connection to, you know, how to God or goddess. Some people, some people refer to refer to God as in the female form, the goddess as opposed to God. I'm really into, you know, whatever, finding that authentic connection. And in whatever way feels real and genuine for you. And I think that's very different for each individual. If you're really, if you're really kind of digging deep and trying to find what, what works for you, as opposed to just kind of, I think, I think a lot of people stick with the path that they grew up with because it's easy. They don't have to challenge anything and they can just kind of sit back and, you know… You know, check that in their mind, like, check that little box of, well, you know, God's taken care of. I got, I got my religion out of the way.
Aloysious J. Pig: I think they do that with politics and with their food, too, I think.
Unknown: Yeah, yeah. I think it's easier to not think and just kind of accept what, you know, what other people tell you.
Aloysious J. Pig: It's like, Daddy ate mashed potatoes. I eat mashed potatoes. You're like, all right, bro. Have you ever tried a scallop potato? Like, there's a whole other world out there.
Unknown: Throw a sweet potato in there. Get a little beta carotene.
Aloysious J. Pig: Now, I call those yams. Is that okay?
Unknown: That's okay. I want you to know, though, because I like you, yams and sweet potatoes are not the same thing.
Aloysious J. Pig: Nope. I'm not going to… Nope. Nope. Nope. Tell me the difference. They look like potatoes and they're kind of orange, right?
Unknown: Well, I don't exactly know the difference. It's kind of like toads and frogs. I know they're not the same, but if you ask me which one is bigger and more brown, I don't know.
Aloysious J. Pig: I know toads kiss better. This is just a personal experience. It was a weird time in college. That's all I'm going to say.
Unknown: That was a crazy weekend, wasn't it?
Aloysious J. Pig: Experimentation. Okay, there. We're going to leave it at that. Moving on. So, I was wondering, you've got kids, you were saying now, right?
Unknown: Yes. Would you like one of mine?
Aloysious J. Pig: No. But see, I hear plenty of them here. I'm good. I'm like that uncle pig, you know, who just kind of walks into the room, looks around, does something funny, and then leaves while the kids cry. I got no interest in having any of my own right now, maybe in the future. I don't know. But you got this play. It's about your journey and everything, and then you come to New York. Now, does it button up into a bow with your kids? Like, how do you treat this whole thing with them?
Unknown: Actually, I haven't, only because this story, for me, kind of came to a natural conclusion. Years ago, you know, before I had the kids. So, I don't really talk about them in this show at all, but I am hard at work on my next script, which is, you know, deals with being a dad today in Brooklyn and kind of what that's like and how it's different for better or for worse than the way. I was raised, you know, 30, 40 years ago, growing up in Kentucky, in a very different time, in a very different place. And so, I'm working on a show where I kind of explore some of that stuff. And right now, the title is What the Father.
Aloysious J. Pig: I got nervous. I thought you were going to say something else.
Unknown: That's the idea.
Aloysious J. Pig: You really make some good punny words with your titles, huh?
Unknown: Oh, I've got to have a hook.
Aloysious J. Pig: Oh, here. Oh, okay. Let's see. You were talking about couscous earlier. You should. So, the woman that you had these kids with, you should write a story about how you met her and whatever. And you can call it chickpeas. Like, if your first date. I'll take the chickpeas. If your first date was at a Mediterranean place or whatever, and you'd be like, chickpeas.
Unknown: You know what's bad? Is that you love that more than you want. I want to. I can hear it in your laugh. That's my begrudging laugh. Yeah, I do that a lot to people. They're like, oh, I hate that I'm laughing at this, but I can't stop. You got me with that one, pig. And then the pig said, chickpeas.
Aloysious J. Pig: Well, hey, listen. This has been amazing. I'm so sorry I have to go to bed because, you know, I've got to get my beauty sleep. A lot of beauty sleep I need.
Unknown: Yes, you do. Yes, you do.
Aloysious J. Pig: This is really where I can see this show. Because it sounds really, I mean, like, I got to say, all the interviews I've had on the Bumper Podcast, a lot of comedians, a lot of whatnot, and here we go. But this is very deep. Like, I felt like I was on the edge of my seat listening to you about this stuff.
Unknown: Oh, that's so nice. Thanks, Aloysius. Oh, no. Well, if you or anyone listening is interested, it's going to be part of a theater festival that's taking place in Manhattan in September and October. Right now, there's one performance, and it's on Wednesday, October 25th at 7.30 p.m. And if you want to get more information or get tickets, you can go to dudewheresmykarma.com and get more info about it.
Aloysious J. Pig: So Bumper Guy, he's going to reach out to you and get all the department links. But that one, that was pretty easy. We can remember that, I think. Of course. So, well, listen, when you get your next show, or maybe even if you just want to chat at some point, you know, we can workshop, chickpeas, whatever you want to do. You can teach me more about Kentucky or whatever. Or maybe I'll see you at the show. I don't know.
Unknown: That would be great, Aloysius. I've had a great time chatting with you. I must say, I know a lot of talking animals, and I think you might be the funniest, pig I know.
Aloysious J. Pig: Oh, wow. I'm going to, you know what, that felt a little backhanded, but I'm just assuming. It's just because you're kind of from the south, and I know that's how those people do it down there, where they're like, come here, sweet pea.
Unknown: I think you might be the funniest animal I know, but there is this one ocelot that is just, I mean, you just have to meet him. I can't.
Aloysious J. Pig: I can't hang with an ocelot. I mean, just right off the bat, the name is funnier than mine, so the audience is like, cool, it's the ocelot, whereas when I walk up, they're like, oh, it's a pig. Like, they don't care, right? Ocelot? Come on.
Unknown: You guys could, like, have a throwdown, because that would be a good contest to see who's funnier.
Aloysious J. Pig: Is his name Lancelot Ocelot? Because that would be pretty awesome. He should be a rapper.
Unknown: No, but he should change it to that. That is a much better name.
Aloysious J. Pig: My name is Lancelot, and I'm an ocelot. And I do lots of things. Lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots.
Unknown: It's actually Ozzy.
Aloysious J. Pig: Ozzy, the ocelot. Yeah, that's okay, too. It's just not as, I don't know.
Unknown: It's not as good. Well, you can't be born with a perfect name, right?
Aloysious J. Pig: My name is Aloysius J. Pig. I feel like I did a pretty good for myself, you know?
Unknown: Well, not all of us have the best name in the world.
Aloysious J. Pig: Yeah. I got it off, I got my name, actually, off of a Wu-Tang name generator. So, yeah, you don't know. That joke you didn't get. That's fine. That's fine. That's where Childish Gambino, do you know who that is? He's a rapper. That's where he got his name. Never mind. Okay. We were doing so well.
Unknown: It was. Up to then. Off the rails. One swing and a miss.
Aloysious J. Pig: That's what happens when I get sleepy. All right. So, ladies and gentlemen, Mr. David Garvey, he has a wonderful play called Dude, Where's My Karma? And you can find out more information at dudewheresmykarma.com. Bumperguy's going to put all the pertinent links into place when he puts the thing up. For this. And I am Aloysius J. Pig. And thank you so much again, Mr. Garvey.
Unknown: Thank you, Aloysius. It was a treat talking to you. I hope your skin didn't get too dry. Do you need to go take a mud bath?
Aloysious J. Pig: No, bro. I'm going to just spritz some water on me and go lay under the shed, because that's where I sleep. Sounds delightful. Real quick. I just realized your name is Garvey, and you're writing this show about, like, your God stuff. That's so weird, because I should have pulled that up about 20 minutes ago. Oh, well, next time.
Unknown: You want to hear a quick story? I do. In the days of yore, when my family first came to this country, they settled in, they created a little village in Virginia, and they all got together, and they were very religious, even back then, and they called their little town, their little hamlet, God Obey, because they thought it was super important for everyone to obey God. And so everyone that lived there took the last name of God Obey. What? You know, Sally God Obey and John God Obey. But it was just so hard to say that after a couple hundred years, they were like, oh, let's get rid of this middle syllable. And so God Obey turned into God Be.
Aloysious J. Pig: Did you ever hear that song by Otis Redding? It's like, sitting by the God Obey. Like that? Yeah.
Unknown: That's my theme song.
Aloysious J. Pig: Just watching my time away. Watching my time away. Watching my time away. Watching my time away.
Unknown: I don't roll away.
Aloysious J. Pig: Oh, I don't understand this again. I don't know the word. I just make up words. I don't care, but nothing. That's really cool, though. I want to hear more about the God Obeys, because that's neat. Wow. You say so much. You're like an onion. I just keep pulling back. Lay us and lay us and lay us an onion.
Unknown: And you're crying the whole time. Wow. That's just for personal reasons.
Aloysious J. Pig: Anyway, ladies and gentlemen, this has been Aloysius J. Pig, Pig Interviews, Mr. David Godbey. Go see his play. Thank you. Thank you so much. And click.
Natty Bumpercar: Whoa. That was the God Interview. I mean, I feel like I took you to church. I feel like we, I mean, that was, that was great. That was, that was the most serious. That was the most, like, Pig was actually sitting there. I could hear. He was just sitting there listening, and it felt like he was learning something. Like, he was a little pig sponge or something like that. Like, he was just taking it all in. Sounds like, I mean, you should go see the play. Do you live in New York? I don't know. But you, you should go see it. I don't know. I forget if it's even called a play. Did Pig even ask that? It's a one-man show. One-man stage play. It's a play. We're going to call it a play. You should go see the play. I have all the information in the post for it, for Mr. David Godbey's play. Dude, where is my karma? Good job, Pig. Keep it up. Keep getting cool people on the show. So, I left you with a teaser. I didn't even mean to do that. But I saw on the little. I saw on the little time thing that I was running out of time before the Pig interview. And when we last talked, there were the pool floats in the backyard. We're back at the birthday party. Back at the spooky Star Wars birthday party with 70 people in the yard. And the kids immediately grabbed all the pool floats. And what did they start doing? They started attacking each other. And not in like a fun, cute, we're attacking each other, ha-ha way. No, no, no. And I want to send people to the hospital. I want to ruin your day, your party. I want to break that child with a pool float kind of way. It was Lord of the Flies. It was Doomsday. It was the end of times. It was really bad. At one point, we had four children on the ground, screaming, crying, holding their faces, rolling around. Parents shocked, aghast. At one point, one of the parents. So, a kid. Hit his kid in the tooth. In the tooth, specifically. With a pool float. And it took me a while to figure out what that meant. Because a pool float is kind of, you know, this. It's a balloon. But it's a hard balloon. I get it. But at the end, there is the blow-up nozzle. And that is hard. And I think that when Kid A swung viciously pool float. The pool, the nozzle part. Which was pushed in, as it is supposed to be. Is the part that actually hit the kid in the tooth. And that would hurt. It would hurt a lot. You know, especially if you turn around and all of a sudden, bam! You get hit in the face with a pool nozzle float thing. So, the dad went out. And he said something to the effect of. And I am paraphrasing here. Because I was distracted by other party things. But said something to the effect of. Hey! You know. Play nicer. Calm down. Don't be so violent. Whatever. At which point, the other child's mom came out. And snapped at the dad. Don't pick my kid out. Don't do it. You know, type of thing. And here's the thing. We were 18 minutes into the party at that point. 18 minutes! Into a 90 minute party. And there were children on the ground crying. And there were parents snapping at each other. It was not what I expected. It was not what I wanted in a party. The pool floats all went away. All went away. And pretty quickly, I would say within a minute or two. You know, the kids have stopped crying. And now they're playing. Playing kid games. Capture the Flag was a big kid game that was played. My kid was like, Dad, we should play Capture the Flag. We should really play Capture the Flag. And I was just like, how do you even know what Capture the Flag is? How do we play it in this? In this? In Medlum. Medlum. Medlity of Bedlum. In this Bedlum. Medlum? What is Medlum? I don't even know where that came from. Medlum. I like Medlum. I feel like it was a pretty big Medlum. And he's like, I'll just. And he goes inside and he grabs toys. He's like, these are the flags. I was like, don't bring toys outside. We've got outside toys for outside stuff. But whatever. It happened. And so they do that for a while. Right? And. We're counting down the clock. And then like, you know, at. The party starts at four. At five. So now 30 minutes into the party. We were like, oh, when can we do pizza? And I was like, we can't do pizza until at least 515. You know, you have to time everything out. These little animals. You can't. You can't just bring pizza out. That'll wreck the whole flow of this Medlum. And so 515. I stand up and I go, okay. Let's get over here and have pizza. Whatever. And they, they lined up in a straight line. And I was just like, wow, wow. Look at them straight line. They, we had trays of pizza. They walked by, they grabbed their pizza off. They went, they grabbed their pizza off. They went now. I will say, because we did not have like specific places for them to sit. This was a very, this was a very, very loose party. I'm going to tell you, uh, they were just kind of hanging out. And sometimes a piece of pizza just got dropped. On the ground. That's fine. I don't care if you want another one. You don't, you're good. Fine. All right. I pick it up. I throw it away. And, uh, then they go and they play some more. And then, you know, it's time for the, uh, the cake and the, uh, blowing out of the candles and the cupcakes. And they were, they were not as straight lined, uh, about that as they were about the pizza. But they, uh, they were pretty, they were pretty good at that point, you know? Well, and, and then they got all sugared up and then they, so the, the rumor that I heard was, uh, one child said, uh, fist fight and somebody yelled fist fight. Like it's a prison yard and this is after the sugar, I guess, and just punched a kid in the ear, which is, I mean, what is going on? So, um, yeah, it was rough. It was, it was a rough party. It might be the last party that we have. If I'm to be honest, cause I don't need, I don't need it. I don't need that kind of fun in my life. Uh, we'll, we'll go to Chuck E. Cheese next year. We won't go to Chuck E. Cheese next year. We'll, we'll take them down to the track. Don't kids go to the track for a party? I don't know. Pet, petting zoo? What? You're too old for a petting zoo? Ah, all right. Sleepover? No, I don't want people sleeping in my house. Get away. Um, so I don't know what we're going to do, but this year's party. So then I'm looking at it on, I'm looking on Facebook. Uh, and on like the parent groups, I'm looking for like blind items to see if we showed up as like, so-and-so did so-and-such at so-and-so's party. Ooh. And, but I didn't find anything, but I really wanted that. Like I would have, I would have screen captured that and I would have, I would have gotten a tattoo of it. I would not have done that. Um, anyway, so that was the party. Next weekend, we've got a, uh, we've got a yard sale and then I have shows upon shows upon shows. Uh, and I actually, I can't even tell this story right now because we're running out of time, but I had to cancel a show and I didn't have to cancel it. It was canceled on me. Oh, uh, Ooh. Will I talk about it later? I don't know. Ooh. Maybe I will. Maybe I won't. Anyway, this ladies and gentlemen has been the bumper podcast and you are my best friends and I hope to talk to you soon. And, uh, hopefully we'll get more interviews soon, right? Go check out David Gobby. He's awesome. Great interview and have a.
Unknown: Thank you.
