Tag: comedy podcast

  • Bumperpodcast #454 – Season 3 – Am Human

    Bumperpodcast #454 – Season 3 – Am Human

    In this episode of the Bumperpodcast, Natty is excited to talk about something, is interrupted by Pig, and then forgets what he was ever even excited about…

    You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. We’re here and we’re listening!

    Go like our Facebook page

    Podcast: Download | Embed

    Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | iHeartRadio | RSS | subscribe

    About This Episode

    In this improvisational episode of Bumperpodcast, Natty Bumpercar starts with big plans to discuss something important but immediately gets derailed. Aloysious J. Pig questions whether Natty actually talks to real people or just performs at them. The conversation spirals through topics like putting out fires, screaming in theaters, and whether service workers are genuinely nice or just doing their jobs. Natty shares a detailed story about a challenging comedy show two hours away where he had to work hard to engage a disconnected crowd by jumping off stage and doing table-to-table bits. The episode showcases the show's signature rambling, self-aware humor as the characters forget what they were originally trying to discuss.

    Memorable Quotes

    “You understand that people in restaurants and stores, they're being paid to be nice to you. You understand that, right? They're just trying to be cordial, civil.”

    — Aloysious J. Pig

    “All I do in my life at this point is I run around and I put out fires. Oh there's a fire run, oh there's a fire run, and I never even get to check if the fires are actually out.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “I refuse this reality. I'm gonna take charge of this reality and I did and it worked out.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #stand-upcomedy #socialinteraction #improvisation #performanceanxiety #friendship #overthinking #crowdwork

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar, Aloysious J. Pig, Producer

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: so this is going to be one of those episodes where i've got i've got thoughts i've got ideas

    Aloysious J. Pig: and i've got thoughts okay so you mean it's going to be one of those episodes that people can should just go ahead and like skip that's what you're saying right off the bat just hey hey everybody warning here's just so you know an episode that you probably don't need to listen

    Natty Bumpercar: don't no no that's not what i'm saying at all no no no so here's the thing at night when i do i say here's the thing a lot i feel like i say here's the thing a lot hold on a second now i got to

    Aloysious J. Pig: think about that and now you're derailed you came in all hot and strong and you're like oh i got something to talk about and now you're like oh another shiny thing focus bumper car you're a

    Natty Bumpercar: minute in and there's the phone ringing and that's why i can't focus because there's never any time to focus on anything because i never get a chance it's like all i do in my life at this point is i run around and i put out fires i'm like oh there's a fire run oh there's a fire run oh there's a fire run and i never even get to check if the fires are actually out because i'm so busy running from fire to fire to fire you

    Aloysious J. Pig: better hope that this is not being do we play these ever at a at a movie theater any kind of theater because if you're doing your podcast and you're up here screaming fire fire fire people are gonna get you're gonna i think you're breaking some laws maybe i but you can't just start screaming fire fire fire that's that's that's highly illegal and if and i'm not listen i'm not saying that because i want anybody else to come to the podcast because i like it's just you and me today but i think you're probably bending maybe even breaking a couple

    Natty Bumpercar: of laws here yeah no i listen don't you worry about that we live in a post-law society would you stop stop this is supposed to be a silly funny

    Aloysious J. Pig: podcast don't if you if you jump down that hole that rabbit hole you're gonna be in all kinds of trouble dude i wouldn't do it i would just take a deep breath and now let's talk about whatever it was that you started off now two minutes ago wanting to talk about ah that was

    Natty Bumpercar: so long ago and now i feel like we've talked about i don't remember i was so excited i came in and i was so excited i was so excited i was so excited i was so excited i was so excited i was so I'd been thinking about something that I wanted to talk about, and I thought it was even interesting, and then I was, I, I, I can't, why, why does this happen?

    Aloysious J. Pig: Is it because you don't do the podcast often enough, and so you're a little bit out of, out of, out of, out of sync? That's not what I want. Out of practice? That's what I want. Or maybe is it because the only time you actually have conversations around the podcast, because you don't talk to other people, and so you, maybe you just had too much ready to go, and then when you got distracted, it all fell apart?

    Natty Bumpercar: No, I talk to people all the time. Like, I'm always talking to people. I, I talk to people constantly, really, you know, if, if, if you look at talking, then. I'm probably, I'm doing, I'm talking.

    Aloysious J. Pig: You, you understand that it's, like, people in, in restaurants and, and stores, that, those aren't common, you're, you're, they're being paid to be nice to you. You understand that, right? They, they're, they're just trying to be, uh, cordial, civil, you know, uh.

    Natty Bumpercar: Civil, like, civil, civil shepherd?

    Aloysious J. Pig: I did, yeah, so now we're doing, like, references to television from 30 years ago?

    Natty Bumpercar: Oh, bumper car.

    Aloysious J. Pig: Yeah. Oh, bumper. Bumper car. What are you doing?

    Natty Bumpercar: Well, what about, okay, fine, I understand, and I accept, whatever, that those, those people are probably, maybe only being nice to me because it's, it's their job, uh, which, fine, whatever, you know, they don't have to do their job so well to me, right, to talk to me. They could just, uh, give me a smile and walk away, but I'll, fine, I will accept your, your logic, and I will say, what about? I had a show this weekend, and, and I, I talked to people there.

    Aloysious J. Pig: Now, you, so, when you're doing stand-up comedy, you're not talking to people, you're talking at people. You're on stage, right, which by, you're up high, you're far away, you're talking into a microphone, which is, you know, uh, it's, it's, it's, uh, I would say magnifying your voice? Is that what we're saying? Amplifying. We'll say amplifying your voice. And so it's, that's, that's also not a conversation, but it really highlights, I think, where your brain is, uh, a little bit, uh, wonk, wonka-doodle.

    Natty Bumpercar: Well, okay, so normally I totally agree with you, but this show, which I had to drive two hours to get to, it was so far away because of traffic and stuff. So I got there, and they had the tables set up, like, 20 feet from the stage where I was performing. and the also the stage was like high up like super high up like probably i'm gonna go five and a half feet five feet we'll say five feet up and there were spotlights but they were not on and they were not pointed at the stage even if they were on so it created this really weird environment and um so i was sitting in the back at the comics table which was table number 13 which is

    Aloysious J. Pig: not foreshadowing at all did i tell the crowd so listen everybody who's listening to this story first off i apologize second off uh if bumper car sounds weird it's because every so often

    Unknown: there's still music beds that are coming through that evidently somebody forgot to turn off and so

    Aloysious J. Pig: he was telling some story then all of a sudden it's like unksha unksha unksha which is why he sounded confused anyway back back to your story tell your story tell your story okay yeah those

    Natty Bumpercar: unksha unksha beats uh are always coming through so here's so so i uh i was back at the table and there was a woman who was running the show she like hired us i guess and she came back and the producer of the show said hi just so you know you're gonna be bringing um natty up he's the host for the for the show and i said hi natty and she's like what's your name natty bumper car that's a stupid name no she didn't say stupid that's a silly name uh is that really your name and i said ah who knows because that's usually what i say uh just to get out of that conversation and uh or i say probably uh and and she's like okay whatever listen uh in a few minutes uh i'll go up there i'm gonna say a little bit about the show and and then i'll introduce you and i was like perfect and so in my mind that meant okay i have time to i'm gonna i'm gonna go use the bathroom maybe i'm gonna stretch a little bit maybe do some jumping jack whatever i do i don't know think about what i'm gonna say and i i stood up to leave the room to find the bathroom and uh she was already on the stage and she was like okay everybody here's your host uh natty and i was i was two feet out of the door which meant i was all the way out of the door already and i went oh oh and and i had to turn and run all the way up to the stage because it was far away it was it was much farther than i thought it was and uh you know hopped up on stage and i was like oh my god i'm gonna go use the bathroom and i was just like haha what happened to a few minutes huh thanks oh here we go which was a weird way to start a show not how you want to start a show and uh i'm not blaming that but the crowd was you know like usually they have like a 30 second hey everybody thanks for coming out tonight thanks for coming to our show how about that food ha that's sponsored by this person and look at all these decorations great job these people like whatever it is and now let's get ready you guys and they're like yeah we're ready but this was instead this was just like hey show go and and and me running on stage and so the crowd was just like kind of there but also kind of not there and i did about 12 minutes up front and um you know there were some laughs but there was also a lot of me switching gears it was like i'm gonna try that no you don't like okay i'm gonna try that you don't like okay i'm gonna try that nope okay good good good just a lot of me kind of uh feeling the crowd out trying to feel what they like trying to feel what they don't like or whatever and um so then i got off like i introduced uh the person who produced the show she was going to do a little jump on spot a little guest spot and so i introduced her like hey and i i found a little back room on the stage because i didn't want to go all the way back to the table because i'd already got my steps in that day so after she got off i went up and i was i was i was i was like i'm gonna do this i'm gonna do this i'm gonna do this frustrated because i i i'm the host and i was not gonna let the show go that way and so i was just like no no i'm taking charge and so they had given me a wireless microphone and so i actually hopped off the stage and i decided to run from table to table to table and i don't it's not necessarily crowd work because i wasn't really letting them talk so much but i would pick out something at the table and i would make fun of it quick boom bam boom zing zing zing and then i would run to the next table boom bam boom zing zing zing and you know and that actually got the crowd engaged and that got them kind of awake and kind of like oh hey we're at a show and then you know it was good because the other two comics uh they had a much easier time with the crowd because i forced them to be engaged and i was so happy with that because it was a little bit you know like it's easy to get depressed and get into a funk when things aren't going exactly the way you want them to or the way you planned for them to go and just kind of throw your hands up and be like well i tried but you know did you did you try and and so i was like no i'm i refuse i refuse this reality i'm gonna take charge of this reality and and and and i did and it it worked out to the point where i was like oh my god i'm gonna do this after the show everyone was like oh that was so fun when you came down and talked to us when you were running around and you were talking to us and i was just like yay good glad to hear it yay good i don't want to talk about it now because it makes me

    Aloysious J. Pig: uncomfortable talking to humans uh yeah so that's what i'm talking so that you know what it sounds like you might have had a conversation or two which uh good for you really proud of you really really coming far really the the performer who you know is really coming out of his shell good job good for you yeah really proud of you really happy for you okay um what were you what were you talking about earlier we said about talking to people oh because i actually checked out you were talking right then for like seven minutes and so i kind of walked out of the room

    Natty Bumpercar: yeah which i apologize but it's uh you know i'm a very busy uh pig yeah you're very i get it but no what was you i came in remember i was excited to talk about something on the podcast and then i got distracted and then you tried to bring everything back together and by the time you did that i had already forgotten what it was that i wanted to talk about that i was all excited to talk about and then you um said asked if if i was forgetting because i wasn't doing the show enough and so i was out of practice yep or if um that because i never talked to anybody in the world i that maybe um i was saving everything up just to explode out into the bumper podcast and so maybe

    Aloysious J. Pig: that's what was happening i think yeah that uh that sounds about right but it's also pretty we're not if i was trying to say phenomenally but i said renominally it's pretty phenomenally creepy like that did you take notes on the conversation because i pretty that's all those things you were just saying were i think exactly the things that i was talking anyway who cares who cares who cares um fine so i i don't know what we established there yes you talked to people not at people and they weren't people at a place of business like a restaurant or a store where they have to talk to you so what i think well that we've maybe proven in some form of fashion yeah that you might be uh human is that what we're doing i mean i don't i forget the whole point of this whole thing

    Natty Bumpercar: no i think maybe we just i don't know what we just proved that i talked to people sometimes yeah we've proved that i talk to people sometimes and i don't i don't only talk on the podcast i'm human you

    Producer: the bumper podcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp with natty bumper car and some of his pals it is family friendly clean and ridiculous thanks a bundle for listening if you love our show and you'd like to help support the podcast check out our patreon page at https colon forward slash bumper podcast and we'll see you next time on the bumper podcast forward slash www.patreon.com forward slash natty bumper car also pretty please subscribe wherever you get your podcasts share it with everyone everywhere post about it on all of the social medias or leave a rating and review the bumper podcast is produced at headquarters in coffee can alley it's recorded mixed and produced by producer the bumper podcast features contributions from aloicious j pig rufus to you rufus doodle poodle robot trunks and a gag all of other silly rascals our head talker is probably natty bumper car we also have an absurd newsletter check it out and subscribe at natty bumper car dot com slash subscribe also you can follow me on instagram and twitter at natty bumper car hugs and hearts see you soon

  • Bumperpodcast #453 – Season 3 – Oil & Water

    Bumperpodcast #453 – Season 3 – Oil & Water

    In this episode of the Bumperpodcast, Natty and the crew try a song and realize why they haven’t been recording as much Tune in for laughs, lessons, and lots of laughs as they navigate the paperwork jungle!

    You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. We’re here and we’re listening!

    Go like our Facebook page

    Podcast: Download | Embed

    Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | iHeartRadio | RSS | subscribe

    About This Episode

    Natty Bumpercar reunites with Aloysious J. Pig, Rufus T. Rufus, and Producer after a long hiatus from recording the Bumperpodcast. The gang struggles with technical issues including microphone popping sounds and missing equipment, leading to humorous discussions about "paschetti" pronunciation and cooking oils. Aloysius attempts an impromptu rap song that goes hilariously wrong, prompting the crew to question whether they still have chemistry together. The episode devolves into playful arguments about offensive language, workplace safety, and whether they're like "oil and water" as a team. Despite the chaos and rust from their time away, the characters' signature banter and absurd humor shine through.

    Memorable Quotes

    “Everything's good. Everything's fine. We made a terrible song. And that's gonna happen. We haven't made a song in a long time, and the one we just did was terrible.”

    — Aloysious J. Pig

    “I'm starting to wonder if this is why we hadn't recorded a bumper podcast in a long time. Maybe we just don't gel anymore. Maybe we're like oil and water.”

    — Rufus T. Rufus

    “Is there such a thing as soy oil? Can we start soil? What'd you cook your food in? I cooked it in soil! Million dollar plan!”

    — Aloysious J. Pig

    Topics: #podcasting #music #friendship #comedy #cooking #workplacehumor #improvisation

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar, Aloysious J. Pig, Rufus T. Rufus, Producer

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: so i have an idea i have several ideas but only one idea that really pertains to you guys at this moment and so what i've been doing is listen i've been listening to so many podcasts like upwards of four five podcasts and um not all the way through i have to say that just partially um because who has the time honestly uh i would understand it if you if you are about to turn this one off you ever no one has time no one has time to listen to things to bibble babble to jibber jabber no so i i had i had an idea and my idea was um i just before you say your idea

    Aloysious J. Pig: uh i just wanted you to know that the uh listening numbers have come in and uh it won't Don't be an issue because it looks like everybody gave up on this podcast because you stopped making it. So it kind of makes a little bit of sense. So right now you're just talking into the void. You're talking into the ether. You're talking into, I don't know, like somewhere where no one is. The, the, the, Mari, Marin, what is it? Marinara? I think it's Marinara. Mariana, right? Not Marin, yeah. No. Mariana Trench.

    Rufus T. Rufus: Is it, did we decide here? No, this is Rufus. T. Rufus. And did we actually decide on if it's Marinara Trench? Now, hold on a second. I believe the Marinara Trench is when you make a pot of spaghetti and you just family style, you put it down the middle of the table. Oh. Hold that paschetti. And then you come along.

    Natty Bumpercar: Rufus, are you saying paschetti? Because I, the first time I think you actually said spaghetti, which I appreciate. But then the second time you, you just went on with paschetti. Paschetti.

    Producer: Yeah. Right? Yes. Paschetti. But Natalie, it's me, producer, and ye, I heard it as well. I was going to, you know, I, I like to mark things on notepads so that at the end of the episode, if I'm, you know, if I have to go back in and, you know, edit anything or whatever, but I, I wrote in there this exact time stamp that these men said, a paschetti like that, you know?

    Natty Bumpercar: Yeah. Okay. Thank you very much, producer. Wow. You, your accent got a little bit, what's happening today? This is, this is very strange. You got, you got, you got very, I would say Italian, but I don't really know. I don't, you know, accents are weird to me. Everything kind of sounds dissimilar. Oh.

    Aloysious J. Pig: Oh, you Sophie. Fancy. Yo, look at me. I'm Natty Bumpercar. I got so much wit. I got so much, uh, like whatever, but, uh, I gotta say, paschetti, Rufus, you sound like, you know, like you're a three-year-old or seven, uh, three-year-old or seven. Not, not four, not five, not six. You're either a three-year-old or you're seven. And, and that's who I understand is it's in their, their language. It's in what they say. They say paschetti, like that.

    Producer: I wanted to thank you, Aloysius, for, because everybody who is saying the paschetti, they're really going into the microphone and they're saying it very loud. So they're getting that, that, that, that noise, that pop noise that you get because we don't have a pop, uh, uh, uh, barrier anymore, like a pop screen. And so I do appreciate, uh, if everyone else could follow Aloysius. Aloysius. Aloysius, hey, sample, and then we, it'll make everybody happy because, you know, I agree that no one is probably listening at this point anymore, but if they were, uh, we just want to give them a high quality, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, product to, did I just do it? Yeah. Oh, man. Okay. This is very difficult. It's very difficult.

    Rufus T. Rufus: I was listening to my, my headphones here. Do you know we used to call headphones cans? Like that. We said, what? I can't hear you through the cans. That's when we were back on the radio long time ago, long, long time ago for you, uh, Piggy Lou before you even born. Now here's the thing. I think what we got to do until we get ourselves a, uh, a pop God is, uh, just avoid any words that might be, uh, associated or, uh, integrated or, uh, reverberated, uh, through the, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh. the microphone with the issues that are associated with not having a pop filter.

    Aloysious J. Pig: Okay. Yeah, that works for me. It's going to be very difficult because we don't have a script like some of these odd casts. I mean, that has a P at the beginning but I didn't want to say it. So now, that's all I'm thinking about now. Hold on. You're good.

    Unknown: Do you hear this? Pig, I think that there's some music happening. Do you think there's going to be a song?

    Producer: There could be. Drop the beat, pretty please. Oh. Okay.

    Aloysious J. Pig: Sounds like we're doing something. Let's go. Ready? I'm rolling. Riding. Sitting. Poseidon. Looking for Poseidon. Okay, that's rhymed. I'm chasing. You're hiding. I'm barely even trying. So clean off your face. You're in last place. The geese. The gaggle. The geese will never haggle. A wiggle. A waggle. Alright, I'm

    Rufus T. Rufus: jumping in here. I don't know if you're just like, out of practice. If you forgot how to do this. Or what the problem is right now. Can you cut that music? Can you cut it off, please?

    Producer: Producer, I'm talking to you. Yeah, sorry about that. I didn't know if you were like, doing part of this song. You know, like a spoken word kind of thing where you come in and you're like, Mr. Top Guy or whatever. You know, I noticed that you were not paying attention to the music or the beat or anything that was said before, so I was guessing that you weren't doing that, but… Yes, yes. Sorry, sorry, sorry. It's okay.

    Natty Bumpercar: Wow. I mean, you just cut it. It wasn't even like, we're gonna fade it out or anything. It was just like, and gone. Music just gone. It's fine. I'm sorry. It's fine.

    Producer: I just thought I was supposed to do it. The lawyer man here, Rufus D. Rufus, says, you got to get rid of the music. You're not doing a great job. I just pushed the button and it's gone. It's fine. It's just my job. It's just my life. It's just my dream.

    Aloysious J. Pig: But that's fine. That's fine. Listen, producer, it is okay. I don't want anybody to get worried. I don't want anybody to get worked up. Alright? Everything's good. Everything's fine. We made a terrible song. And that's gonna happen. We haven't made a song in a long time, and the one we just did was terrible. And that's, again, it's okay. We're gonna move on. Probably. Do we have anything else planned for this episode? Was that it? I don't know.

    Natty Bumpercar: No, we didn't even plan for that. Come on. It's okay. Everybody calm down.

    Rufus T. Rufus: Now, I'm starting to wonder if this is why we hadn't recorded a bumper podcast in a long time. Maybe we just don't gel anymore. Maybe we're like oil and water. There's several. Now, you can be the water, and then we can be different kinds of oil. Myself, I think I'm gonna be an avocado oil. Uh, Aloysius, what are you thinking over there? What are your thoughts?

    Aloysious J. Pig: Well, you know, it's a good point. Oil and water. Yeah, he is absolutely water over there. Uh, your avocado. I'm gonna, you know, I wanna stay away from seed oils, because as I understand, those are out of uh, out of vogue at the moment. Is there anything like a… I know they do milk, but is there like a an almond oil? Or a soil? Oh, soy oil? Soil! Let's start that business! Is there such a thing as soy oil? Can we start soil? What'd you cook your food in? I cooked it in soil! There we go! Ho-ho! Million dollar plan!

    Producer: Yeah, I don't really want to be, uh, oil, necessarily, but, here's a thing I could be, is, um, I could be uh, butter, maybe? You know, just, it tastes good, you can still cook in it, it doesn't have as high of a um, burned temperature, as the other ones, and especially the avocado oil, you know, you can really get that pan hot. Uh, soil, I don't, I'm not too overly familiar with, um… We? Yeah, we're gonna… Are we determining if that's a real thing, or… Yeah, I think

    Natty Bumpercar: we should get an intern for the podcast, because a lot of the shows that I was watching or listening to, whatever you do, um, they had people off to the side who were actually like, um, they would say stuff, and then the people over on the side would look it up, and so, like, you know, they're sitting here like how you're just talking about soy oil, soil, they would be able to just, like, put it up in front of you, so you would know right then if, if it was actually a real thing or something that could be done, as opposed to how we seem to do it, which is, something is mentioned, we have no idea if it's valid or if it's real, and then we're supposed to remember the next week, uh, what we said, and to have actually looked it up, and how many times has that actually happened, and do you think we can count it on one hand?

    Aloysious J. Pig: Oh, here we go, here we go, here we go, count it on one hand, very, very, very, very insensitive, Natty, I don't have hands, I've got little hooves, look, look, look at me, look at me, little hooves, alright, and, and producer, why don't you jump in here? Oh, hey, come on, man, I didn't mean

    Producer: that. Yeah, but it wasn't necessary, you're like, you could have said anything really, but now you're just like, oh, hey, frog, why don't you jump into the conversation, I mean, like, what are we doing, are we just going around the room now, and and, and, and, and

    Rufus T. Rufus: picking things out, I guess? Oh, so now you, so I don't, I'm not trying to, uh, I don't want to say P-I-L-E, pile on, but you, uh, producer just did the, the, the P, the pop thing, so I guess it's, it's gotten everybody, and I also wanted to point out that, uh, Aloysius, if you, and, uh, if you, producer, want to have a meeting after, uh, this session, um, then we could maybe come up, uh, draw up some diagrams, draw up some, uh, I don't know, little, you know, good old-fashioned litigation to, uh, address the situation which I myself just saw, I myself was hurt by, I myself was quite offended by. I'm not sure, if I actually feel safe

    Natty Bumpercar: in this place of work. What? Really? You don't feel safe? Okay. You know what? I don't even remember who it was at this point who said, like, oh, maybe we all, it's oil and, it was you, wasn't it, Rufus? Oil and water. Yeah, that's it. I'm water. Maybe this is why we haven't recorded the podcast in a long time because, because it's, it's hard. It's walking on eggshells. It's walking on, walking on broken glass.

    Aloysious J. Pig: Oh, that was, actually, that was a pretty good pull in the middle of everything. That was good. Good job to

    Rufus T. Rufus: your brain, one point bumper car's brain. Now, yeah, I can see why you're giving them compliments. You know, I understand the creative process, but now I gotta deal with the legal paper probably from that. I got, I got, I got people breathing down my necks. I got letters in my mailbox filling up. I can't even close my mailbox, which means all of my catalogs are getting wet and musty and moldy. And I, you know, I can't even look at that. I don't even, what is the summer fair this year? I don't know, because I can't look at it. All right? So, now Natty, that's what you got me in. You got me in the situation where you're talking about hands, and we're talking about jump right in. And now, I gotta deal with the legalese of this whole, this whole, this whole, conflagration.

    Producer: I'm actually okay with the whole thing, now that I think about it. It was a, it was a, it was an accident. I'm good. Oh, I'm glad you're good. Pig, are you good? No! Oil and water! The Bumper Podcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp with Natty Bumpercar and some of his pals. It is family-friendly, clean, and ridiculous. Thanks a bundle for listening. If you love our show and you'd like to help support the podcast, check out our Patreon page at https colon forward slash forward slash www.patreon.com forward slash Natty Bumpercar. Also, pretty please subscribe wherever you get your podcasts. Share it with everyone everywhere, post about it on all of the social medias, or leave a rating and review. The Bumper Podcast is produced at headquarters in Coffee Can Alley. It's recorded, mixed, and produced by a producer. The Bumper Podcast features contributions from Aloysius J. Pig, Rufus T. Rufus, Doodle Poodle, Robot, Trunks, and a gaggle of other silly rascals. Our head talker is probably Natty Bumpercar. We also have an absurd newsletter. Check it out and subscribe at nattybumpercar.com slash subscribe. Also, you can follow me on Instagram and Twitter at nattybumpercar. Hugs and hearts. See you soon.

  • Bumperpodcast #452 – Season 3 – Invoices

    Bumperpodcast #452 – Season 3 – Invoices

    Join Natty Bumpercar, Pig, Rufus, and Producer in this hilarious Bumperpodcast episode all about invoices! From chaotic billing to quirky misunderstandings, the gang tackles the world of invoices in their signature absurd style. Tune in for laughs, lessons, and lots of laughs as they navigate the paperwork jungle!

    You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. We’re here and we’re listening!

    Go like our Facebook page

    Podcast: Download | Embed

    Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | iHeartRadio | RSS | subscribe

    About This Episode

    In episode 452 of the Bumperpodcast, Natty Bumpercar and his puppet friends attempt their first musical episode in ages with hilariously chaotic results. Producer kicks things off with a song about bees, but Aloysious J. Pig and the crew struggle to keep the rhythm. What starts as an improvised musical number quickly derails into a discussion about libraries, with Rufus T. Rufus sharing his love of reading and the stacks. The episode takes an unexpected turn when the gang discovers a shocking financial reality: none of them have been sending invoices or getting paid for their work on the show for the past 15-20 years. The revelation leads to comedic accusations and stammering explanations as everyone realizes they've been working for free.

    Memorable Quotes

    “if i could be a bee i don't really know let's see what kind of bee would i be would i be an a b or c or d or e what all these letters they all rhyme”

    — Aloysious J. Pig

    “gonna learn gonna learn gonna learn in a library gonna learn gonna learn i love to read books”

    — Rufus T. Rufus

    “you hear him stammering everybody's getting nervous you hear him stammering he doesn't even know what he's saying at this point yeah nobody stammers quite like a guilty man”

    — Aloysious J. Pig

    Topics: #music #improvisation #libraries #books #business #money #workplacecomedy #miscommunication

    Featuring: Producer, Aloysious J. Pig, Natty Bumpercar, Robot

    Full Transcript

    Producer: if you could be a bee what kind of bee would you be if you could be a bee what kind of bee would

    Aloysious J. Pig: you be i guess if i could be a bee i don't really know let's see what kind of bee would i be would i be an a b or c or d or e what all these letters they all rhyme i could just be like e d g c e whatever t m doesn't rhyme though no okay hold on i'll get back okay yeah uh weird

    Natty Bumpercar: uh we haven't had music like a music bed a music background in so long and evidently we've forgotten how to do it because that we started off pretty rough off beat uh we went with producer i thought was a pretty brilliant because it was nice and simple um rhyme scheme um and and really i thought kind of a nice idea for a song and then leave me out of this okay i couldn't figure it out i was close yeah yes you and i know normally you you don't like feedback and you don't want to hear this no i don't i don't yeah you we oh that was not great i listen i how was i supposed to know that we were going to jump

    Aloysious J. Pig: right into a song we haven't had a song in in a long time and so you know you hear this the the podcast start it's got the squeak squeak squeak squeak and then all of a sudden boom bang we're in a song with producers starting yeah i don't know if that's ever happened producer never starts a show

    Producer: yeah i'm sure that at some point in the show that i've probably started it but i i can't recall i don't keep notes or anything but it's nice to have a song it's nice to have a beat so i can dance along and i can sing along let's go let's go let's all party down let's go let's go let's party

    Aloysious J. Pig: all around so you start you you listen i like that you're committed to the bit and you're like you're like we're gonna have music we're gonna i'm gonna sing a song and i hope that everybody just ignores uh how everything started that's great that's listen you're you are committed you are all in and i appreciate that and i appreciate you producer this is a fat beat i love to listen to this beat as i'm sitting on my seat no no you know it's

    Natty Bumpercar: i remember yeah i don't know that was i i don't i think we could probably you we don't have to sing i mean it's nice to have a music bed underneath this um i feel like it adds a little layer of texture and fun but um i don't think that it it forces us into a position where we actually you know have to have to have to sing yeah hey nutty it's me

    Aloysious J. Pig: rufus t rufus and i listen to that we ain't had music in a long time i guess the court paper the filings went through and i'm like oh my god i'm gonna sing a song and i'm like oh my god i'm gonna in the office and all the wheels that were greased and everything so that we can lift the embargo and put on a track or two of of of rapitude drum drum drums i got some drums i don't say no this is why i don't really usually take over here drum drum drum drum i i yeah again i tried it again and i and i failed again but that's okay that's okay we're learning we're learning we're learning yeah we're learning oh everybody's learning here we go over here and here we go over there okay to do what i don't learn to do what to learn in a book in a book i love libraries

    Natty Bumpercar: i'm listen everyone i think that rufus who never comes in and sings might have had the best singing part so far the gonna learn gonna learn gonna learn in a library gonna learn gonna learn i love to read books gonna learn but yeah yeah no that was that's a catchy one and i think it's it's very much needed at this point um that we lift up uh our our local public libraries and um you know tell people tell people what's up i love the library i like to just walk into a library and all the books they're called they're called the stacks because there's their shelves and they're back in the stacks okay i'm gonna go back in the stacks and and but you second you walk into a library it just has a feeling about it i i always think it just like it it's it feels like you're in a different world almost in a different time and and the smell of the books has always been so intoxicating to me and just wandering around and and looking at all the different titles and all the different sizes of the books and all the different colors of the book like the the spines and everything

    Aloysious J. Pig: is is is is wonderful yeah um did are we is this all just library stuff now because i i mean i can i can do that i uh went to a library once and they said that they they wanted a show and they hired me and uh they stuck me in a room with what i don't know it must have been two three hundred kids and uh i was like okay what do we what do we have a plan and they're like well we hired you you have the plan and i was like okay uh how long how long do i need to stay in here for and they they they said forever and then they shut the door kind of in a menacing way and uh the second the door shut all the kids their heads just turned slowly and locked on to me and then then and hold on a second don't say anything don't say anything all right good point good point good point yeah i i feel like the litigation on that whole situation is still uh pending it might you know still we're just awaiting a decision um did you ever get a uh uh paid for that for that event uh no i don't know hey uh i don't usually do the money stuff hey natty do you know if uh if i got any checks coming in anything you know a pig needs new shoes

    Natty Bumpercar: all right well first off you i've never seen you wear shoes um so that's important uh secondly no i don't see any checks do you know um did you send in like the invoice after the show did you email it or mail it or drop it off

    Aloysious J. Pig: or anything what do you what i don't know what's that uh what's that word in a voice like an inside like an inside voice what i don't know how does that how does that pertain let me take this and that is sir aloysius uh the invoice um now that's where you're going to uh line item uh put everything on it that your time you know you had to buy some uh crops maybe some water uh you know uh as the case and i can't get into it but you know higher security um because of uh people getting a little bit too uh interested in our business you know there's a few different uh but you put all that on the invoice give them a total and then they know what to pay you wait what is this why i've never been paid is this why i've never seen it in i thought that you you just had some sort of a savings account for me so that i could one day i don't know go to college uh get my own place or you know start my life with with a with a so never we've never never gotten paid

    Natty Bumpercar: anything no i this is a bad miscommunication i thought that you guys were handling a like rufus you usually handle the invoices so now hold on a second hold on a second before you start

    Aloysious J. Pig: shining the light on me i i i'd appreciate if you if you kept me in the dark if it's as it were now listen i invoice you uh constantly still haven't seen a lick of cash from that yeah but i don't i don't invoice for everything else for everybody else so

    Natty Bumpercar: yeah you definitely invoice me constantly i have a stack of papers that just seems to keep growing constantly like all the time all the time those papers they grow all the time um okay wow so if aloysius if you're not sending out invoices i haven't been sending out invoices for stuff either um has anyone gotten paid for anything well so what i do is i've been keeping a tally

    Producer: of all the hours that i've worked and then i went on the internet and i said um you know what is a reasonable amount of salary for for for my position and so i'm just kind of keeping track and i was hoping to settle up with you at some point you know when when we can maybe we sell the bumper podcast and we're just rolling in all the money wait so i guess you're playing like the really

    Aloysious J. Pig: long game we've been doing this for like i don't know 20 years or something like that i don't know i don't know 20 years or something like that i don't know 20 years or something like that i don't i don't you know what you cut you keep on with your notebook and your tally and keeping track you do that you do that uh uh producer i think it's all gonna work out for you oh boy no let's see here hold on uh i i know i've been paid for some outside services i outvoiced those but the insert internal invoices i don't believe uh i've ever uh collected on on anything uh i have to think about i you know what i'm gonna go talk to my financier and and finance see if i have any finances yeah i hope i do yep it's gonna be a bad day if it if if there's not i'll tell you that okay so it's gonna be a bad

    Natty Bumpercar: day but a bad day for who like i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know are we saying a bad day for me i so we're all in the same boat i've never gotten paid for anything sounds like none of you have ever gotten paid for anything how do we get paid all right sir

    Aloysious J. Pig: who's supposed to be paying us well i don't want to uh you know single anybody out um but your name is on on on the shingle your name is it's the bumper podcast naughty bumper car you live in headquarters coffee can alley all that you know there's a lot of stuff there so uh i'll take it over here uh so ipso facto i believe that means that all all all of the funds need to be coming out of out of your wallet natty so i guess when can we expect this situation to be rectified i wait i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know

    Natty Bumpercar: i'm rectified i'm just now finding about this the same time you are right so how i not a good topic for the podcast but something that we should definitely figure out and something that we should definitely look into because i think we all just thought that something was happening that wasn't happening and so now we have to get to the root of that the of the problem

    Aloysious J. Pig: and i um you're stammering you hear him stammering everybody's getting nervous you hear him stammering he doesn't even know what he's saying at this point yeah nobody stammers quite like a

    Natty Bumpercar: guilty man natty are you a guilty man what no i'm not guilty i'm i feel like i'm a victim in this whole thing too how am i guilty what did i didn't do anything except maybe mismanage all the money for the last 15 years so wait a minute

    Producer: am i ever going to be able to buy a lily pad in paradise or am i just stuck here pushing knobs and buttons for the rest of my life

    Robot: the bumper podcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp with natty bumper car and some of his pals it is family friendly clean and fun to watch and i'm so excited to be here with you and ridiculous thanks a bundle for listening if you love our show and you'd like to help support the podcast check out our patreon page at https colon forward slash forward slash www.patreon.com forward slash natty bumper car also pretty please subscribe wherever you get your podcasts share it with everyone everywhere post about it on all of the social medias or leave a rating and review the bumper podcast is produced by natty bumper car and is produced by natty bumper car at headquarters in coffee can alley it's recorded mixed and produced by producer the bumper podcast features contributions from aloicious j pig rufus t rufus doodle poodle robot trunks and a gag all of other silly rascals our head talker is probably natty bumper car we also have an absurd newsletter check it out and subscribe at natty bumper car.com slash subscribe also you can follow us on social media at natty bumper car dot com follow me on instagram and twitter at natty bumper car hugs and hearts see you soon

  • Bumperpodcast #451 – Season 3 – Turtles

    Bumperpodcast #451 – Season 3 – Turtles

    In this episode of the Bumperpodcast, Natty Bumpercar talks about turning over a new leaf and not double and triple booking himself. Also, there are turtles! Don’t miss out — listen, subscribe, and share the laughter today!

    You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. We’re here and we’re listening!

    Go like our Facebook page

    Podcast: Download | Embed

    Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | iHeartRadio | RSS | subscribe

    About This Episode

    In this solo episode of Bumperpodcast, Natty Bumpercar finds himself alone in the studio after accidentally breaking all the recording equipment while fiddling with settings that were working perfectly fine. With Producer and the rest of the gang mysteriously gone, Natty reflects on his tendency to quadruple-book himself and the resulting chaos in his life. He shares hilarious stories about therapy sessions without couches, attempting to organize his time by making endless lists, and his recent adventure caring for two hatchling red-eared slider turtles named by his kids. Through self-deprecating humor and rambling observations, Natty explores themes of self-care, overwhelm, and the simple joy of watching turtles eat their floating food pellets.

    Memorable Quotes

    “I can do two or three things at the same time and be in different places at the exact same time, I've mastered that, but once you get up into like four it's I really I can't do it.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “Self-care? Doc didn't you hear I'm double triple quad booked how could I there's no time for self-care who's got time for self-care?”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “That one's a buster. He kind of just like sees you coming and he'll jump into the water and swim around and I used to think he was terrified but I think he expects food.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #self-care #therapy #timemanagement #turtles #pets #parenting #technologytroubles #overwhelm

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: i can't even express how annoyed i am right now i sat down to record the bumper podcast which you're listening to because you're amazing and i super appreciate it and i started fiddling why we started fiddling with the software started fiddling with the knobs which were working before so why fiddle there's no reason to fiddle and then everything broke and i didn't know how to get back there there were there were uh restarts of the computer restarts of the software um there was there were some searches there were some internet searches and uh finally i mean it's not the same as it was before but at least i can see that it's recording something which you know to me is as much of a win as i expected at this point i uh it here's the thing when i was recording i was like oh you know it sounds like there's a little bit of an echo huh oh i wonder how to fix that huh and then i started i was like maybe this will get rid of it oh oh wait what oh what just happened oh no and and so that's what uh that's what i've been doing for the last hour so it's pretty exciting uh i know you're all uh sitting on the edge of your seat saying well where's where's producer is it doesn't he normally handle this stuff doesn't he normally take care of the the the software and the bells and the whistles and whatnot yes but everyone is out right now uh i they i don't know where they don't tell me where they go um they just kind of pig took the car keys and uh they didn't even really say goodbye i the way they say goodbye is kind of sweet though they um you can just hear the door shut behind them and then you're like oh okay bye see you later okay bye i'm just gonna stay here and fiddle um yeah so i i probably should have let producer handle the uh the the the fiddling and the tweaking and the turning of the knobs and the pushing of the buttons because uh what i got myself into was a real calamity at a point i said this is a real calamity to myself out loud because um it was and that was the only way i knew how to express the frustration that i was going through i um speaking of being frustrated have tried to get better at not uh doing as many things as i was doing before so not uh not double booking double booking everyone can handle that not uh triple and quadruple booking uh that's where i seem to get into trouble i i can do uh two or three things at the same time and be in different places at the exact same time time i've i've mastered that uh but once you get up into like four it's i it really i can't do it and uh you know people get frustrated you know oh why do you why do you double triple book why are you quad booking and i'm like i don't know my brain thinks i can do everything all the time for everybody and um uh i was i was told that that's not the case not that's not how it works you know if you're if you're gonna commit to doing something then you should go do that thing and and be there like have your mind present and i was like wait so just having my my body here or just you know while i'm on the call that's in my ear and while i'm also uh walking the dog that's that's uh it's not okay and they're like no you're distracted you're you're in several different places at the same time and i'm like exactly and they're like exactly you see the tone difference there i thought i was i had it that i had figured it out and they were more uh uh frustrated so that you know that happens and that's that's fine you know i uh i don't know if any of you have ever been to a therapist it's super fun uh because they have to listen to you for however long it is and um it's a weird thing all the television shows cartoons they uh they make it seem like oh there's a couch there's there's no couch in mine at least i don't know i assume some must have a couch depending on how much space they have mine has a chair there's like two different kinds of chairs and you know sometimes you know when i'm going in and i'm chatting uh they're like well how are you feeling and i'm like i'd feel a lot better if there was a couch in here you know just because it would give me the sense uh that this was this was real that what we were doing you know i was like doc if you can't even commit to you know the proper piece of furniture then what what are we even doing here right what what do we what am i are we wasting our time i hope not but the funny thing is at the end you know after you've discussed things and talked about billing or whatever you do uh yeah they say uh so what do you uh before we you know see each other again what do you plan to do for yourself what do you you know plan to do for self-care self-care and the first time i heard that i uh actually i actually fell on the floor i you know i i couldn't catch my breath i was laughing so hard catch self-care doc didn't you hear i'm double triple quad booked how could i there's no time for self-care who's got time for self-care i gotta keep that boat afloat over there i've got to keep uh that that fire over there at bay uh and i have to keep you know i've got to keep that boat afloat over there i've got to keep that that fire over there you know the roof from leaking and i have to keep uh all the the chickens fed and uh you know on and on and on so so self-care for me is um just waking up the next day to start it all again which um evidently not sustainable not something you can just keep doing forever um you uh you get tired you get cranky you uh you might get some uh really i think wonderful bags under your eyes little dark circles right uh and might get sick more often so that's you know that's something that's going to probably happen and then you might run into the situation that i did where people get frustrated with you because you've double you've triple and you've quadruple booked yourself so i'm working on not doing more but the way my brain approached not doing more was by taking on a few different tasks uh like one being you know organizing myself in my time it's like if i organize myself in my time then i can prioritize and if i can prioritize and i won't be double and triple booked and uh i um now i spend a lot of time making notes making lists and uh prioritizing on top of everything else that i was so people were like hey you didn't make it to the meeting where were you and i'm like oh yeah yeah and that's okay i was i was organizing my time all right i was prioritizing and they're like well you you don't seem like you you know you're committed to this and i'm like but that's exactly what i'm doing i'm you know i had i had like i had to make a note with a to-do list that was broken out with different times and different days different goals right otherwise i'm not going to just flying by the seat of my pants and they're like well you maybe you should have done that when you're not supposed to be meeting with us i'm like whoa whoa whoa baby steps all right baby steps you everybody just take a deep breath and uh understand what's what's happening here and they took a deep breath and they said i well what is happening here and i said i really don't know i just i was hoping that was going to end the conversation hoping by kind of leaving that out there that that was going to be the end of it and um you know i wasn't i wasn't expecting you to keep going so honestly this is kind of on you right read the room um i was throwing up facades and i was throwing up uh you know fake fronts and i was throwing up uh all kinds of subterfuge and smoke and mirrors and and you just kind of kept on walking down the street and uh and tagged me so now i'm it and i i didn't even want to be playing tag i um yesterday i was in a reptile store i know that's hold on i hope you didn't get whiplash from that but i was in i was in a reptile store with my kids because um someone gave us uh two what are they called hatchling red-eared slider turtles and they're i don't know how big they are like i'm trying to show you but i know this is audio but they're about that big no um hmm trying to give a a good uh a racquetball they're about the the size of a racquetball around not tall because that would be weird to have a circular turtle but they're you know round and flat like turtles are supposed to be and uh the kids have named them we have spent all the money buying a new habitat and setting all of that up with filters and heaters and uh you know all the things little lights for the turtles um little uh dock that they can rest on really they're living their best little turtle lives but one of them is has been a little bit um lethargic which is a funny way to describe a turtle but it's it's true he's he's kind of just like he's there he's hanging out but he's not moving around as much and you're probably like yeah that sounds like what a turtle's supposed to do that's what i used to think too but the other turtle who i keep saying that one's a buster like that i think i've said that almost every day since we've had the turtles oh that one that one there that's a buster and what i mean by that is he kind of just like he's he seems like he's gotten a little bit bigger and he will see you coming and he'll jump into the water and swim around and uh and i used to think he was terrified but i don't feel like he's got a little bit bigger he is i feel like he's uh kind of playing with with i don't know i mean he's he's looking out of the tank sees you coming jumps and then i think what it is is he expects when i come for there to be food and so maybe he's like all right i gotta get into my eating position i gotta get into my my eating you know spot and and it's so fun because the uh the food they're these little tiny pebbles and they float and not not pebbles not rocks but uh because that's that's not something anyone could eat um but little pellets of uh pellets of turtle food that float and so he'll like he's swimming underneath it he can see his little head he's looking around and then he zooms up and he does this like his little head pops out further and his mouth just grabs on to it and it's kind of amazing to watch it's much more fun than you than what i'm describing it's uh a shockingly good time like i've found myself on multiple occasions just sitting and watching the turtles like oh look what they're look at that look what he's doing look at that one he's oh you know you know he's over there but then one of the turtles was being lethargic and and and i was just like oh no i i don't want my turtles to get hurt the children have become attached so we went to a um a reptile shop and uh we're looking around and this tiny kid comes up to my kids and he's like oh no i don't want my turtles to get hurt and he's like oh no i don't want my turtles to get hurt and she's probably like three i'll say and she goes hey hey you want to play tag and my kid's like uh no and i was like good good on you all right that's a good decision child oh mine

    Unknown: you it's just sometimes like it's funny how you can do something a little wrong to your kids if you've been with them a very long time they will kind of blame you and say oh well you're about to be merciva and they're like you know uh yourself i'm gonna blame you it's fine i'm gonna blame every single one of you but then you'd kind of get a bit of nerve by being produced by them and i know that translate a little bit 날스 процент

  • Bumperpodcast #450 – Season 3 – Okay

    Bumperpodcast #450 – Season 3 – Okay

    In this episode of the Natty Bumpercar Bumperpodcast, Natty Bumpercar addresses the long delay between episodes, sharing insights with Producer, Rufus T. Rufus, Doodle Poodle, and Aloysious. Don’t miss out — listen, subscribe, and share the laughter today!

    You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. We’re here and we’re listening!

    Go like our Facebook page

    Podcast: Download | Embed

    Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | iHeartRadio | RSS | subscribe

    About This Episode

    After a long hiatus following episode 449 titled 'The End,' Natty Bumpercar returns to explain why the Bumperpodcast went dark for months. Joined by Aloysious J. Pig, Rufus T. Rufus, and Producer, Natty candidly discusses getting overwhelmed by ambitions to add theme music and new features, ultimately flying too close to the sun like Icarus. The gang debates the who-what-when-where-why-how of proper questioning, discovers their listener numbers have plummeted to zero, and hilariously contemplates pivoting to a 'how-to-fail' podcast. This self-aware episode captures the struggles of podcast burnout while maintaining the show's signature improvisational comedy style.

    Memorable Quotes

    “I flew too close to the sun… it was a metaphorical fall, an allegorical fall.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “We used to be like, oh, wow, look at all these people. And now it's like, oh, okay, some guy named Bob listened to it last Thursday… Nope. No, that's another zero.”

    — Producer

    “Is there a podcast that's specifically how to fail at everything? Because I think, number one, we'd go right there.”

    — Aloysious J. Pig

    Topics: #podcasting #burnout #comeback #failure #overwhelm #comedy #meta-humor #timemanagement

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar, Aloysious J. Pig, Rufus T. Rufus, Producer

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: okay okay okay so i apologize i am sorry and i apologize and the reason that i am apologizing is i put out an episode it was number what is it 449 and i titled it the end and then i proceeded to not make any more episodes for a long long time wait so are we back to doing this

    Aloysious J. Pig: because i i was enjoying the break i was enjoying not having to talk to you every week i was enjoying you know just living my life just being me yeah it's just j pig over here okay yeah

    Natty Bumpercar: well i get that and i totally agree i kind of enjoyed the time off as well but what tends to happen is if i'm not doing the bumper project if i'm not making drawings if i'm

    Unknown: no and not to be impolite but no i i need to focus today because it's been a long time

    Natty Bumpercar: and i have to explain what's going on and and why you know yeah well uh excuse me

    Rufus T. Rufus: you i just want to jump in here because i got some some question as to the when the where the what and the why you understand yes so you don't have any questions about about the who i don't i don't think i understand what you're getting out there aloysius i said uh let me think here i said the what the where the when and the why um i think i said everything there no i'm pretty sure you did

    Natty Bumpercar: you skip you skipped who who what when where how why i don't even know if you did how

    Aloysious J. Pig: yeah so what he said traditionally you start with a who who who where all right when yep what how and why who when where what yeah who where when what how and when why that's all the bases

    Rufus T. Rufus: yeah well i'm just i feel like i did say all of those things we're not recording this are we because I don't want anyone to go back and listen to tell me if I said something incorrect or incomplete or incoherent because I don't I got kind of used to not being recorded every time I talk and yeah Aloysius I got to say something to you as well it seems like you're used to not talking too you weren't on mic I couldn't hear you there for a second gotta talk into the mic there son come on

    Natty Bumpercar: I hate to be on his side but Rufus is right you kind of looked over to the side there for a second and we kind of I don't know producer are you able to hear him when he looked over to the side yes I did

    Producer: deep down a little bit but I think I was able to fix everything and if not I can fix it in post and I can go in and I can sweeten it and I can add a little bit of this and a little bit of that and it's going to be perfect and you'll just see you'll see but with all of that being said it is easier if you just talk right into the microphone and then my job is a little bit easier

    Natty Bumpercar: if I'm to be honest well I guess that's what it's all about making everybody's jobs easier I um forgot why I said that why i was apologizing oh yeah made an episode months ago the end then no episodes after why why why no i think you're the who the what the why you can't just say why why why you gotta

    Rufus T. Rufus: have some how maybe some win yeah definitely uh where okay no so i was just kind of emphasizing

    Natty Bumpercar: you know the why because i feel like we we owe an explanation people deserve an explanation we were pumping out episodes once a week new cover art we were doing all kinds of stuff and we were getting to this magical 450th episode and we were talking about getting uh theme music and pig interviews is going to start up and all kinds of cool fun stuff and then i mean it broke me is what happened i got overwhelmed i flew too close to the sun

    Aloysious J. Pig: oh you pulled an icarus is that what you're saying you have your icarus you know the wax the wax and your wings uh melted from the sun and then you you fell really far yep i don't know how

    Natty Bumpercar: far it was probably really far it was it was it was really far but it was a metaphorical fall an allegorical fall we always have this problem how many episodes have there been when i can't remember the difference between yeah homily and the simile and a metaphor and an allegory and a pastry and a baguette

    Rufus T. Rufus: yeah i'm hoping that you didn't break us out of the you know the the storage shed over there just to uh go into this tired old uh adage again uh by the way i i did hear that you fell now when you fail do you feel like it was anyone else's fault did you feel like maybe there was a step that was a little bit off maybe uh the curb had been uprooted or something like that maybe somebody no deliberately uh maybe your shoe exploded and then you kind of fell from anything i mean anything i'm just trying to figure out if we have a case here yeah

    Natty Bumpercar: no there's there's there's no case um but here's the thing here's the thing the thing of the thing is i like to try to have a philosophy where if there's a big project like i always use a wedding cake if i have to make a wedding cake and i tell my brain make a wedding cake then my brain is going to shut down it's going to it's just going to freeze up and uh you know if i keep pressing it then the whole engine up there might just break and it's because i'm approaching this monumental thing and it's it's overwhelming and it's too much and so what i like to try to do is to break it down into digestible bits like um okay i need to find a recipe okay i need to find the ingredients okay i need to find the equipment okay what's the temperature like things that are easily achievable and then just kind of go from there now that's how i normally do things and things happen and things work out but a lot of times when there's abstract things like i'm gonna make a new theme song my brain is just like i'm gonna make a like there's no there's no recipe there's no you know ingredients and so i just kind of stare at the computer and um and i'm like okay go do something yeah you do it and and then i get overwhelmed and then i stop and i it's really frustrating and um it does a fun thing where when i get overwhelmed and then i stop working on one thing then it starts to cascade it starts to flow over to other things and after a little while it's it seems so insurmountable that i can't even conceive of how to start over again of how to like okay i'm gonna go do the uh podcast great here we go uh i'm gonna set aside a little bit of time to do you know this project here we go and it's all about time management and trying to figure out a structure and i i just i don't do well with that i just start to uh i start to clam up i start to pull into my uh turtle shell i start you know i hide under a rock and uh then i put on noise canceling headphones and uh that's it i'm gone so that's it

    Aloysious J. Pig: that's what happened that is what happened so there was there was no fall uh who the whole icarus thing that's that's nothing is what i'm reading into this and you're telling me we had a podcast that was like ranking it was actually people people were listening we were getting numbers remember we almost got i think it was a hundred thousand listens or something crazy and then you saw that and you were like i've got to meet the moment i've got to do all this stuff i gotta get a theme song you're always wanting to get a theme song and and then you that's why we stopped and and how many listens have we been getting lately i'm just curious to see if two months of non-activity is going to

    Natty Bumpercar: affect the bottom line of listens so yeah producer i think you probably have all those numbers in front of you can you i guess read them out or whatever yes so

    Producer: um here's the thing we were doing very well and we were growing up the mountain up the mountain here we go here we go and uh so now um we don't it's like is this what's like the lowest number

    Rufus T. Rufus: that you can even think of now hold on is this like a riddle or something are we gonna i need i need a scantron i need a number two pencil and i i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't and I'm going to need probably a lot of erases. I like to erase a lot as I write out my notes.

    Producer: Nope, nope. It's not a math equation. It's just a zero was the answer. It's a pretty simple, you know, it's like we used to be like, oh, wow, look at all these people. They're listening. Oh, on Monday, they liked it. On Tuesday, oh, my goodness. And now it's like, oh, okay, some guy named Bob listened to it last Thursday, and Tuesday, Wednesday, not so much. Okay. Oh, Friday. Friday looks like one person. Nope. No, no, that's another zero. Another zero.

    Natty Bumpercar: Yeah. So, zero. That's a lot of zeros. That's okay. And it's okay. It's okay. You know, it's going to, we just, I got to rein it all in, get back into the flow. I love doing this. I'm hoping that you like listening to it, maybe. And if not, then I'm hoping that you're listening to it and getting something out of it, like how not to do a podcast, you know, how to almost get moderately successful and then stop doing your podcast. Like, these are things that I feel like I could speak on.

    Rufus T. Rufus: Now, hold on. Hold on a second. We were supposed to be like, I think we were in the comedy section, but are we going to be a how-to section now? Like how to fail at everything?

    Aloysious J. Pig: That's actually not a terrible idea. We should look into that. Is there a podcast that's specifically how to fail at everything? Because I think, number one, we'd go right there.

    Natty Bumpercar: The Bumper Podcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp with Natty Bumpercar and some of his pals. It is family-friendly, clean, and ridiculous. Thanks a bundle for listening. If you love our show and you'd like to help support the podcast, check out our Patreon page at Also, pretty please subscribe wherever you get your podcasts. Share it with everyone everywhere, post about it on all of the social medias, or leave a rating and review. The Bumper Podcast is produced at headquarters in Coffee Can Alley. It's recorded, mixed, and produced by a producer. The Bumper Podcast features contributions from Aloysius J. Pig, Rufus T. Rufus, Doodle Poodle, Robot, Trunks, and a gaggle of other silly rascals. Our head talker is probably Natty Bumpercar, We also have an absurd newsletter. Check it out and subscribe at Also, you can follow me on Instagram and Twitter at Hugs and hearts. See you soon. Bye.