Tag: comedy podcast

Natty Bumpercar: what's going on with the leaves what's going on with the trees what's going on with the world everywhere i look there's just leaves all over the ground it's like they all fell off the trees all at the same time was there a big earthquake was there a dinosaur was there some sort of monster that came through the world and the planet and knocked all the leaves off why and why did when they fell off did they decided they just go turn red and orange is that leaf blood because if it is that's kind of gross because that means that it was just walking all around leaf blood and then the brown ones okay i know for a fact are not chocolate you would think you're like oh look brown leaves those are clearly made of chocolate they're not made of chocolate people come on this is one thing you're going to get from the bumper podcast today it's going to be science it's going to be stuff that you're going to take home and you're going to think about a little bit you're going to be like you know what that bumper car he knows what he's talking about that bumper car he makes sense he seems pretty amped today he seems pretty excited today what was what did what did he have for breakfast not obviously not chocolate leaves because now we know they don't exist and you know what that's a little too personal don't ask me what i had for breakfast because i don't i don't remember no wait a minute i'll tell you i had baby muffins for breakfast baby muffins are the best kind of muffins in the whole wide world because they're not they're not jaded yet is that's the theme song that i'm working on for them but they're tiny muffins tiny blueberry muffins that i actually cut the tops off of i had three of them cut the tops off of put a little bit of butter on uh the base and then on the top and put them in the toaster oven and but i didn't toast them too much because i didn't want crunchy uh baby muffins i just wanted that butter to melt on in and then i ate them and guess who's having the best day uh ever right now me what i didn't give you a time to guess all right i'm not good at games that's why i don't host game shows guys that's why there's no family game night here at headquarters with the bumper cars because i'm just i get excited and if i know the answer to something i don't even raise my hand i just scream it out used to get in trouble in school all the time for that just i would be like two is two two then and the number the answer is two everyone knows everyone knows that right two it's two what the answer is piscataway what but i i thought we were all in agreement that it was two but no we're not we're not no no one no one agreed at any point in time to jump on the band the bumper car bandwagon of question answering because a lot of times what i would do i would actually answer the question before the teacher had even gotten around to asking it okay let me just paint a picture for you really what i would do is i would just sit in class and yell out answers uh there were no questions being asked uh we were supposed to be reading and maybe coloring i don't know here's the thing though i got sick of chewing on my crayons and eating glue off my hand and and i decided that i needed to educate the people the masses of my in my classes and i did that i gave them all of the answers some of them they couldn't even handle some answers they weren't even ready for but i gave them to them so that so because i i had a feeling in my gut that that they needed to know what i what i had to tell them so really here's the thing i think if there's a theme to today's bumper podcast uh it's science obviously learning knowledge um we found out a little bit about leaves i still don't know why they're all on the ground no one confirmed with me the dinosaur theory that i was bandying about um all the dishes are still on the wall here so i'm guessing it was not an earthquake but uh they are definitely falling off the trees for some reason um if i go back through my data my uh my my that's what we call information here science in science land uh i i think i might find some interesting things about a timeline that maybe this this isn't the first time this happened maybe the leaves have fallen off the trees before you know and what that does is that gets us closer to an answer two see it's two it's not two it's never it's never two um it's not going to be two whatever the question that someone's going to ask you it's uh unlikely that the answer is going to be two because really it's just like zero one two you're not those are too easy for answers it's going to be like seven tween or ten till ten till ten till seven i don't know i don't know anything