Tag: comedy podcast

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Natty Bumpercar: Guys I've got poison ivy help me. I don't like it. It's the worst thing ever poison ivy poison ivy poison ivy Go away poison ivy poison ivy poison ivy I got it last weekend. I was outside. I was doing yard work and stuff, and it's it's just so unbearable Have you ever had poison ivy? It's so stupid. I just itch everywhere I'm not supposed to scratch the itches and so I just walk around all day I'm in a bad mood, and I can't touch my stupid legs because they itch But my pants are touching my legs and my socks are touching my legs and they make it itch Every time I move and now oh look it's on my elbow. Oh look now. It's next to my hand Take it you can't take it at all Don't get poison ivy Learn from me learn from my mistakes It's the worst there's three leaves. It's urasol. I looked it up on the internet That's the oil that's on the leaves that gets on you, and it could be on your clothes or on your Shoes for like Why don't know where I'm coughing it doesn't affect me coughing. I'm just so I'm so freaked out huh, so this stuff urasol is the oil that's on the plants on the on the leaves of the of the poison ivy plant and It can get on your clothes for three to five years Which then made me freak out cuz I was like wait am I gonna have this for three to five years because I can't do it I can't handle it. I went out I started researching everything I could do I got I took Epsom salt baths Which hey it tasted good, but no it doesn't do anything I took oatmeal baths, but not yummy regular oatmeal like you would think it's called like coagulated or Qualogen or koala koala Steve. I don't know what it is, but it's I maybe it helped I don't know cuz that's the thing you're supposed to take a super super hot bath like as hot as you can take Like you're a lobster going into a pot and I wish I showed I might cuz I put my leg in and I took my Leg out my leg was bright red where it was in the water cuz it was so hot But that makes it itch more that makes it hurt more right so then okay you take your bath with your oatmeal and your Epsom salts or whatever and then you get out and you have to pat dry cuz you can't rub dry because if you rub dry then You might pop the little blisters. It's a bit It's like a chemical burn is what the internet told me is this uracil chemical has burned my skin and I Always thought that if you pop the blisters that you were gonna spread it, but no evidently That's one of the big myths about poison ivy because I'm part of all sorts of poison ivy message boards now And I joined the poison ivy Facebook, and I listened to the song poison ivy Constantly because I need to be reminded of the the True the terrible place that I'm in right now You guys ever had poison ivy. What did you do? I heard if you go to the ocean and you hang out in the water That's good for it because it dries your skin out because that's really all you want to do is dry the skin out So all I've been drinking is diuretics Constantly, I'm just like hey. I'll have some more tea. I guess Give me some more tea over here Hey, give me some soda pop so that I can dry myself out internally and externally I heard you can take you can take baking soda and then I put vinegar on Towels and the first couple of nights I slept with that on my legs and it smelled like Easter everywhere Now we're how many days we're like five days in and it's still all there, and it's bright red. It's like I got stung by a jellyfish I which I've heard you guys Can pee on to make that plane go away? I'm not doing that I can't bring myself to pee on my leg bumper podcast kateers I worry about you because I don't want you to go through what I'm going through right now, which is not pleasant It's poison ivy and the thing is I was in the backyard There were maybe two plants and two plants did this to me who invented poison ivy. Why is it even there? What does it do is it just worthless? I don't like it. I'm going through all sorts of stages right now anger denial I don't have it but I do fear please don't get me near the poison ivy anger I hate you poison ivy there's no joy there I haven't made it there yet except for this I do love this