Unknown: Oh, I'm injured, I have a boo-boo, I'm not happy.
Aloysious J. Pig: Hey, what in the world? Hey, Bumpercar, hey, it's me, Aloysius J. Pig. Hey, Bumpercar, what's going on? Why do you feel like, what's going on? You got a boo-boo, huh?
Natty Bumpercar: What happened to you, anyway, huh? It's my eye, it's my eye, I've got a stye in my eye. You've got a stye? It hurts, and it gives me a headache, and it itches, and I'm not supposed to touch it, and all I can do is put a little warm pillow on it, and it doesn't do any good. What, what? I just don't feel good.
Aloysious J. Pig: Well, first off, Bumpercar, I think if you've got a stye in your eye, then I'm probably a first person, or animal, that you should have come to. Because I've got a lot of experience with styes. For instance, I was born in a stye. I actually sleep in a stye. I eat a lot of food in a stye. Pig, it's not that kind of stye, would you just stop it?
Natty Bumpercar: Well, it's because it hurts, and you're not helping, and you're making me feel worse. I don't want to feel worse, I want to feel better.
Robot: Hey, it's me, Robot. I haven't been on the Bumpercar. I've casted a whole long time. There's a reason for that. Maybe I can help you.
Natty Bumpercar: Fine, fine, fine, fine. Hi, Robot. Thanks for coming by. I'm glad you're here. Can you please look through all your databases, and all your whatever wikis, or whatever encyclopedia, whatever you've got, and tell me if there's a way to make my eye feel better, to make my stye feel better, to make this guy feel better. That's a good rhyme.
Aloysious J. Pig: Please. That's a really good rhyme, bro. I know you don't feel good, but that was pretty, that was tight. That was really, that was on point. I like it.
Robot: He was talking to me, Pig. So, let's see. Have you tried using a little warm pillow? Are you serious? A lot of people use little warm pillows to make their stye.
Natty Bumpercar: I said I, that's the first thing that I did. That's the only thing I did. Okay. And it didn't help. I didn't know that.
Robot: Well, I- Well, I wasn't in the room. I wasn't here yet. I did say- So, how could I have possibly-
Aloysious J. Pig: Because you have a robot. You've got robot ears. I understand. You're not helping. No, you should be listening. You should be helping. Right. Or something. You know what? Listen. If you're not going to help- Okay.
Robot: This is good out. I'll be going now. Yes. I'm going. Okay. This has been Robots. Hasta mañana. Wait, the robot speaks Spanish now? Yeah, I guess. I didn't know.
Aloysious J. Pig: That's a new thing to me, too. So, he picked up another language, but he can't pick up listening when the conversation is over. When the conversation is happening on the podcast that he's going to interrupt?
Natty Bumpercar: Yeah. I don't understand this, though, man.
Aloysious J. Pig: He was outside the room. What the heck?
Natty Bumpercar: That made no sense to me. Okay. But I don't like defending robot, clearly, but he was outside the room, and I do feel bad that he was kind of thrust into this- I mean, he thrust himself into this situation and was immediately expected to perform, and he's not exactly what I would call a performer,
Producer: so- Well, speaking of performers, hi, robot. Hi. It's me, Producer. Hi, Producer. What's going on? I'm here to help you produce your show, because it's a bumper podcast. You have to do my show, too. And I haven't been around. He doesn't very long. Producer, I don't want to do my show right now. He's still got your pipes. Yeah, he's got his pipes. I don't feel good. I wasn't aware. Yeah, I've got a sty, so I'm injured. Maybe I could produce some sort of- What? Saf. Huh? Or perhaps some sort of bomb. A bomb? Or something. A bomb? A bomb? A bomb? A bomb? A bomb? A bomb? A bomb? A bomb? A bomb? A bomb? Or some sort of tincture to make your eye feel better today.
Natty Bumpercar: I'm not going to lie, Producer. Just having you in the room with your singing voices made me feel a teeny tiny bit better. How do you sing better? Oh, no. Better. You shouldn't do that. Better. Oh, no. How do you sing so well? You're like a little ray of sunshine coming out. Oh, no. You're a little ray of sunshine in here.
Producer: Well, I took a lot of training in school and I went to all these different singing camps that I know.
Aloysious J. Pig: I tell ya, nobody really cares. Nobody wants to hear about it.
Producer: Okay.
Aloysious J. Pig: Yeah.
Producer: All right. Yeah, so just go on. That's fine with me, I suppose. Yeah.
Aloysious J. Pig: I'm going to go now. All right, so you have- I'll see you soon. Okay. So here's the thing. You're a producer, so that means you're supposed to produce. Ain't really mean you're supposed to be on air talent. Ain't really mean- You know, you guys- I mean, here's the thing. You might have a story to tell. to tell i'm sure you do you're a great dude right however we gotta have people behind the boards people behind you know the switches and the knobs doing the things and making the magic happen here's the thing i'm a magician you're like my owl okay you're my uh i don't know he's funny rabbit no i know you're a frog you're a frog all right okay back to bumper car okay i'm going now
Natty Bumpercar: all right thanks for stopping by producer wow we're really getting a lot of fun visitors here today on i mean when i started the show i was basically in tears uh splitting headache so here's the thing a stye i've never had styes in my entire life that i know of no documented styes uh and then last month out of nowhere out of the blue in my right eye there was this bump on the eyelid and it hurt and it scratched and i was like what what so i went to the pharmacist and i pointed at it and i was like what is this fix it and they were just like whoa you got a stye and i was like oh no i've got a stye it's the end of the world they were like relax it's a stye people get styes and i was like i don't want to die they were like well we've got this cool little pillow that you put into the microwave and so it's it's like these little uh beads that get either really hot or really cold and if you put them in the microwave it's in like a little plastic pouch and then that goes into this little um little sweater little pillow sweater like a pillowcase but i'm calling it a sweater for some reason and uh you can only it says you have to do it in 10 second intervals 10 second the microwave doesn't do a lot but once you you know get up but then you have to watch it right because it expands so i used it the first day and it was great and it made my i feel better but i kind of burnt my eyelid which is not a pleasant thing to do they even told me be careful your eyelid is one of the most sensitive areas on your whole body and i was just like sure sure there's a sty it's gotta go burnt eyelid ow so then i had to deal with that fine uh oh and you know this is when i was doing commercials uh a couple months ago or last month whatever and it was like i had a big audition thing and and of course four days before the audition sty so then i had sty eye going into the audition dun dun dun is that why i didn't get it sure we'll blame it on that not my lack of talent uh and uh then on the second day with the little pillow i was so desperate for to to heal to fix that i i put it in for 10 and then another 10 and i would i take it out after each time and i feel this little pillow and i can shake it to feel the little beads moving around and if it's not warm then i still stick it back in uh 10 9 8 7 the little pillow broke this is a 12 item this is not something that i'm just gonna go out and buy all willy nil all the time and so then i didn't have it i was done and and luckily that time the sty just went away i think i whatever i did to it i scared it away and it was fine flash forward this week woke up the other eye another sty so now i'm asking people now that i've had this is this something is this my life it's not this isn't this isn't what i signed up for that's for sure so i went back to the place and they'd moved all the little pillows so i had to get them i was like where's the pillow i need a pillow for my eye i have a sty but she took me to the sty eye pillow aisle and uh it's not an aisle it's just one place there's only one left i got it home went to put in the microwave it's a pillow i have a sty i have a sty i have a sty i have a sty i have a sty it's all gooey it's all gooey why is this all gooey somebody had bought it popped it sent it back and then i bought it no sir no way so then on the way to work i had to go to a different one because it was more on the way to work and i was i was kind of preoccupied by it and uh driving a little bit quicker than i should have pulled over pulled over by the police here's what and here's how slow i was going though uh i was going like 35 or 25 which is too fast fine but i was going slow enough that the police officer who was standing like he was like leaning on his car he pointed at me and then he pointed in front of his car and i was able i was going slow enough that i was just like oh okay okay this is happening so it was a good morning is what i'm saying it was a good way it was on a monday morning it was the perfect way to start the week to start the day uh but it was it worked out fine don't let's not worry about me everything worked out fine so then i went to the other place i got the pillow and i've been using it ever since i've been using it a few days now uh stye still there stye getting worse uh stye uncomfortable but luckily we have the bumper podcast we have all my helpful friends here
Aloysious J. Pig: i'm here too oh my friend i didn't even know you were still here well you because you were yammering you start yammering sometimes at the show and i just like let you go i'm like just keep rolling bro keep rolling you ain't figuring out your stye but this you know who's gonna figure it out hold on a second
Unknown: oh hello there bumper car it's me i'm the parrot and we get styes quite constantly styes along with rickets and along with shingles and along with all kinds of sea legs as you understand so here's what we do on the boat is we take a patch and we draw a skull and crossbones on it and we put the patch over the eye of course we warm it up in our shippy microwave and it heals the eye perfecto mundo well you speak spanish too all right well then i'm gonna go
Natty Bumpercar: get a patch and it's gonna make me better
Unknown: hopefully i think we have time so let me show you thank you any unless you want to get ready and really uh but it's not like i'm so self-evident is gonna link you not this video really um like teach you all stuff and you i mean mean anything to me you're all going to figure this stuff out if you want fuck no it is wellomme man oh mandy dog
