Here it is – the new podcast that everyone is talking about. The Bumperpodcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp around Headquarters, in Coffee-Can Alley, with Natty Bumpercar and his entire gaggle of pals!
Rufus is in the house with Doodle Poodle talking about litigation, and courtroom illustrations – when all of a sudden, out of nowhere, there are tears. We also get to rip the wrapping paper off of our new sponsor, and deliver an ad for an app called ‘Picniic’ on today’s episode of the Bumperpodcast!
Picniic is a nifty organization app for families who have way too much going on. I started playing with it last week, and was immediately shocked at how many times I have triple-booked myself over the next two months.
To check it out, yourself, go to picniic.com/getstarted to set up your account and use promo code: PODPIC for 30 days of Picniic Premium free! (Repeat with emphasis on URL and promo code and SPELL P-I-C-N-I-I-C)
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About This Episode
In this chaotic episode of Bumperpodcast, Rufus T. Rufus and Doodle Poodle attempt to take over the studio for a courtroom drama special, but host Natty Bumpercar intervenes. What starts as a dispute over studio usage policies quickly devolves into an emotional confession when Rufus reveals he's having a terrible day. The lawyer puppet shares his unfortunate restaurant mishap involving confused weekdays, stuffed mushrooms, and a dangerous encounter with Tuesday's crab fritters that resulted in losing his beloved hat. Meanwhile, Doodle Poodle offers his artistic comfort, and the crew debates the merits of various shellfish before Aloysious J. Pig bursts in to reclaim his scheduled time slot.
Memorable Quotes
“I saw the T, and I saw the U. You know Thursday's got a U in it as well. And then the day. I saw T, and I saw U, and day. And, you know, they ain't got no stuffed mushrooms in the restaurant on Tuesday.”
— Rufus T. Rufus
“Escargot, escar-no, that's been a high set. None of it. Just keep it away from me.”
— Natty Bumpercar
“I sicked in my hat. My hat is now gone, and that is, in fact, why I am most sad.”
— Rufus T. Rufus
Topics: #restaurants #foodallergies #baddays #friendship #studiodrama #shellfish #hats
Featuring: Rufus T. Rufus, Doodle Poodle, Natty Bumpercar, Aloysious J. Pig
Full Transcript
Rufus T. Rufus: well well well this is rufus t rufus the residential uh uh lawyer here for the bumper podcast uh today we're going to be doing a little bit of litigation for some cases that have come to my attention here i will be the prosecutor i will be the defender i will be the judge i will also be the stenographer i will probably be drawing the pictures as well as the dog oh give it up it's me hi everybody it's me
Doodle Poodle: i've been trying to decide what the best way to say my name is because sometimes when i say my name people look at me kind of funny but not funny in any kind of like ha ha ha way but more like funny in a what's this dog even talking about way and then i've been trying to decide what the best way to say my name is because sometimes when i say my I realize that they are looking at me funny because my name is Doodle Doodle and I'm not even making any drawings for them. So then I start to make some doodles and everything gets all better all the time.
Natty Bumpercar: Right? Right. Right. Hey, guys. It is me, Natty Bumpercar, and I do not know what I've done. That's right. You're in the booth. I turned your microphone off. So you're just going to have to sit there for a second. Sorry, everybody. A little inside baseball there. This is Natty Bumpercar. It is my show, The Bumper Podcast. And evidently, Rufus T. Rufus, our lawyer, and Doodle Poodle snuck into the sound booth over there. And I don't know what they were about to do. Some sort of courtroom drama on The Bumper Podcast. But now that I'm here, I can kind of take charge and we can see, I think, what I'm going to do because I feel bad. Because they. They do have the studio blocked off right now. They are supposed to be here. But I was kind of listening in because I can do that from my office. And I didn't understand what they were doing. So I will let I will bring them back in. But then I will kind of mitigate whatever insanity happens. So in advance, I apologize. And hey, how you doing? I'm glad you're here. Thanks for being here. So without further ado, here is Rufus. Rufus T.
Rufus T. Rufus: Yeah. Hi there. Thank you for cracking the microphone, Mr. Bumpercar. As you said, because we can hear what you're saying in there, as you can hear what we're saying in here, as well as what you say in there. We had the studio blocked off for this time. And I do not appreciate and I do believe that it breaks the terms of endearment that you have steadily stated for and placed upon the wording of the studio usage. And the policy is. And we will not be broken if you do understand what I'm saying. My friend, my friend, my friend.
Doodle Poodle: I agree with everything that he said. And I think that I didn't actually read the words. And I don't even know if I ever got them. What? And so to be honest. They were in your cubicle. The fact that I didn't get them. No. I think I mean that you're breaking the rules. No. On that one.
Natty Bumpercar: They were in your cubicle.
Doodle Poodle: Two. Put them in there. Right. Sir. I thought so. I thought so.
Rufus T. Rufus: Well, now, what my friend here, Mr. Poodle, is saying is that you never. In fact, got his signatory on the piece of preparatory. And so, in fact, you are broken all the rules from left to right, from front to center, Mr. Bumper Cop. So, if you interrupt us again, my friend. I'm not interrupting. I'm going to have to. It's my studio. Negate. Oh, really? You understand what I'm saying, sir? Yeah. I am going to have to take this junket to the junket.
Natty Bumpercar: Okay? I think you were trying to say you were trying to take this. You're going to take this junket to the trunk. Which doesn't even make sense. And the fact that I am now able to kind of figure out what you're trying to say kind of makes me terrified because I don't want to be able to speak Rufus. And now, a quick word from one of our sponsors. I'm so busy. But luckily, I discovered Picnic. It is an organizational app for my family. I can enter events into a shared calendar. We have to-do lists, shopping lists, and even recipes. So, you should totally go do it. Go get organized. Go to Picnic. Go to Picnic. Go to Picnic. Go to Picnic.com slash Get Started to set up your account and use promo code PODPIC for 30 days of Picnic Premium for free. That's Picnic. P-I-C-N-I-I-C dot com slash Get Started and promo code PODPIC. So, go and get organized today. We now return you to whatever in the world it was that you were listening to just before the commercial here on the Bumper Podcast. Good luck. You're probably going to need it.
Rufus T. Rufus: I'm sorry. No, that's not a slander. That's a slander. That's a slight. That is abruptly inappropriate. And I, sir, do declare that my time here is done. I will be leaving and I do not know if I will be coming back. If you run into any issues revolving around the law, then I do so hope that you have coverage from some other lackey or whatever you desire. Because I, sir, will not. Don't do that. I will take this punishment from you. There's no punishment. I've had a rough day as it is. Are you? And I don't. Hold on a second. Are you okay? Hold on a second. I'm getting emotional. Is he crying? Yeah, he's crying. Oh, no. Rufus, I'm just going to turn your microphone off. Yeah, I'm going to turn it off. You turn that microphone off.
Natty Bumpercar: Sir, just hold on. I'm pushing the button.
Doodle Poodle: This is making me very, as a poodle who is normally very in touch with his emotions. Yeah. Very open to, you know, making sure that I express what I'm feeling. I don't really like being stuck in this room.
Natty Bumpercar: No, okay.
Doodle Poodle: This classroom with a microphone and this poor, sad man. I'm not a sad man.
Natty Bumpercar: But you're like me. Rufus, you're back on the air. I'm sorry.
Doodle Poodle: Because usually when I make drawings, it makes people smile.
Natty Bumpercar: Well, that's nice. That's a good.
Rufus T. Rufus: I don't know if that's what's going to make me happy or not. Listen, here's what happened.
Natty Bumpercar: Yeah, Rufus, can you just talk? I mean, I guess since we're here and we have the microphones and everything set up and we're this far in, I feel like you should just talk to us and, you know, let us know what's going on and we'll see if we can make it better. Okay. Does that make sense?
Rufus T. Rufus: Yeah, that's a good idea. Now, here's what happened to me today.
Doodle Poodle: Oh, are you going to tell us now?
Rufus T. Rufus: You just hushed, puppy. Now, here's… Rufus, I was at my favorite Wolverine Hole slash restaurant food emporium extravaganza. I'm about to eat my favorite food. Now, I had gone there specifically because I wanted some stuffed mushrooms. You understand? It's what I always eat on Thursday.
Natty Bumpercar: Oh, on Thursday? But it's not… Oh. Oh.
Rufus T. Rufus: Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. It is not even Thursday in the least. It is Tuesday. I had looked at the calendar, and the calendar had said there was a T. I saw the T, and I saw the U. You know Thursday's got a U in it as well. And then the day. At the end, I saw T, and I saw U, and I saw day. And, you know, they ain't got no stuffed mushrooms. in the restaurant in Foodiborium on Tuesday. That is Crab Fritter Day. And, sir, I have to tell you, I am highly allergic to crab fritters.
Doodle Poodle: I really, I love crab fritters. That's why I'm always there on Tuesday. They say, Tuesday crab fritters, toodle-poodles, food for days. It's like…
Natty Bumpercar: You've never gone to a restaurant toodle-poodle. They don't let dogs in restaurants, first off. But second off, I am with you on the crab fritters. I do not like them. I'm not allergic to them, but I just, I don't like shellfish. But that's not true, because I do like shrimp. But here's the weird thing with shrimp. I do not, I like shrimp scampi. Like, it's over here by itself. You put that in pasta, you yuck. I like steamed shrimp with, like, some Old Bay. That's delicious. Or I guess that's boiled shrimp. I like shrimp on the barbie. Fan, I'm a big fan. Shrimp by themselves, yes. But you get a scallop near me, you get a lobster near me, you get a crab near me, you get any of that stuff. Escargot, escar-no, that's been a high set. None of it. Just keep it away from me. And even shrimp, I'm weird on.
Rufus T. Rufus: So, as you were, keep talking. Okay, yeah, I'm gonna keep on going, as this was my story, and I'm not as sad as I used to be, because you kept talking. And now I feel like my emotional stake in the ground has been lucked out, and I don't have as much to talk about. It's just fine. So, I do not like this Tuesday meal. I'm allergic to it. I will go to the hospital. In fact, just being in the restaurant, the air, it was in the air. I thought I'd get a little sick. I have to tell you, sir, I sicked in my hat. My hat is now gone, and that is, in fact, why I am most sad. I did not get my stuffed mushrooms, and I lost my hat.
Doodle Poodle: See, your hat is gone.
Rufus T. Rufus: When you ask me why I'm having a rough day, that's why I'm having a rough day. We should draw you a new hat.
Doodle Poodle: I'm going to draw a picture of you with your hat on.
Aloysious J. Pig: It's going to be a great doodle. Guys, guys, guys, guys. I'm so sorry. It's me, Pig. I'm always just J. Pig. And I'm noticing on the schedule that your time is officially up, because I'm about to do my podcast, which is supposed to be called the Pigpen Podcast, but it's a kid's show. But it ain't happening right yet, because we've got to think of a new name. So, you guys skadoot. Sorry. Thanks for bringing it to the top. Sorry, everybody. It's Mike Darn, Aloysius J. Pig. Have a better day. Anybody got a good name for a pig's podcast? Send it in to Bumpercar.
Natty Bumpercar: Yeah. Do that for me, okay? Please. What about Rude Pig, huh? That's not a good name for a podcast. Have a great day, guys, everybody.
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