Tag: cold

  • Bumperpodcast 109 – Plague

    Bumperpodcast 109 – Plague

    Natty Bumpercar returns to Headquarters with the icky-nasty-yucky plague – but – he has missed the Bumperpodcast studios so much – that he decides to give you a little bit of the talky-talk.

    Mostly – he just takes his throat to task for not doing what it’s supposed to do – which is evidently just to sit there and be a pipe. There are firings that are threatened.

    Listen to the Bumperpodcast to see if there is a job opening for a throat …


    About This Episode

    In episode 109 of the Bumperpodcast, host Natty Bumpercar returns to headquarters feeling under the weather. Suffering from what he calls "the plague," Natty delivers a hilarious rant about his malfunctioning body parts. He breaks down the basic job requirements of a throat—breathing and swallowing—and expresses his frustration that his throat can't even handle these simple tasks. Natty also voices his disappointment with his nose, threatening to fire both body parts if he could continue operating without them. This solo episode showcases Natty's signature comedic style as he turns being sick into an absurd performance review of his own anatomy.

    Memorable Quotes

    “I brought back with me the plague, I brought back with me disease, I brought back with me the funk, I brought back with me the ew, the yucky, the goo.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “You're a throat, you're just a tube. You're not really even doing anything, you just have to sit there.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “If I could fire my nose and throat and still continue this operation that I'm in right now, you know what I would do it.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #beingsick #comedy #illness #bodyparts #rant #soloepisode #health

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: hey everybody it's me daddy bumper car and the uh wow i am back in headquarters and that is awesome and that is great and you know what i brought back with me i brought back with me the plague i brought back with me disease i brought back with me the funk i brought back with me the ew the yucky the goo i can't breathe i have this nose that doesn't even know how to work i have this throat it doesn't even like me talking about it sometimes if i talk about my throat it decides to just close up and not work at all which to me is inappropriate it's like hey you're a throat how about you work is kind of what i'm thinking you know because really as a throat what do you have to do you have a few pretty i would say basic tasks uh a throat is uh breathing in and out all right that's you know if we want to say it that could be two things but really it's just kind of airflow so what i'm gonna do i'm i'm gonna be a stickler i'm gonna say airflow that's one in and out you're just a tube you're not really even doing anything you just have to sit there and the other thing you know is is again it's it's you know you can break it up if you want to if you want to give the throat uh you know oh poor throat you know you can say oh you have to drink liquids liquid has to go down oh no you have to uh uh take in food you know like solid stuff so like but really that's just one thing it's just you're taking stuff in so and i'll give you another you so you take stuff in and you know how people say oh cough cough cough that went down the wrong pipe i guess you know like if you take a drink and you can't um and you and they're like cough cough cough and then they're like oh well i know i just said this but that went down the wrong pipe and you're just like whatever jethro i don't care so throat here's what you're supposed to do for me you're supposed to breathe you're supposed to uh in and out that's one and you're supposed to let me uh eat and drink stuff so so food going down and that's all you do just do it don't don't bust don't fuss don't fight just do what you're supposed to do and nose i don't even want to talk about my nose at this point because it's not even it's so far not even trying it's ridiculous if i could fire my nose and throat and still continue this operation that i'm in right now you know what i would do it

  • The Know Show – Episode eleven — “Dreamland”

    Hooray! It’s an all new episode of The Know Show. I wonder what’s in store?!

    Welcome to Dreamland! Cozy? Good. Tuck yourself right in for this sugarplum of a bedtime story. Join us for a special library visit, a sloppy shopping sing-a-long, talking turkey, sounds* from Carter Thornton and a shout-out from rock-and-roll’s Hans Chew. Plus, we’ll share how we stumbled upon the pitfalls of the new Twitter interface in our “Social not-working” segment, and Mr. Patel will tell us how it is.

    Want to join us? Have a comment or question? Call us or send us an e-mail!

    Extra-special thanks to our sponsor: The Dreamcatcher 5000 (6:14)!

    And to these fellows worth knowing: Hans ChewCarter Thornton and Steven Reines.

    *(C.T. contributions: “Time for a Week” and “Thanksgiving”)

  • Bumperpodcast 47 – Sniffles

    Bumperpodcast 47 – Sniffles

    WE ARE IN AN ABSOLUTE TAILSPIN OF SICKNESS.

    Oops! Caps lock was on . . .

    BUT – WE ARE IN AN ABSOLUTE TAILSPIN OF SICKNESS!! WITH SNIFFLES AND COLDS AND RUNNY NOSES AND SNEEZES AND BLECH!

    Stand back . . . We may be catching.

    About This Episode

    In Bumperpodcast episode 47, host Natty Bumpercar hilariously laments his miserable state after catching a cold from his son, who recently started daycare. Natty rambles deliriously about his declining health, admitting he doesn't exercise, rarely leaves his chair, and only flosses before dentist appointments. After two weeks of being sick, he's finally going to the doctor—something he never does. Between jokes about feeling worse than garbage and requesting "chicken snoodle soup" (with a chicken and a poodle), Natty delivers a fever-fueled, self-deprecating monologue that showcases his comedic timing even while under the weather.

    Memorable Quotes

    “I would say that I feel like garbage but that would be giving garbage a bad name.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “Somebody bring me a chicken and a poodle with some soup. I think it's the only way I'm gonna get out of this tail bed.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #illness #parenting #daycare #health #self-deprecatinghumor #doctorvisit

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: oh it's my nose it's my nose and it's my head and it's my eyes and it's my aches and it's my tired and it's my sneezing oh bumper podcast it's so early in the season and already the sickness has taken over the house yeah that's right the boy the tidiest one among us has been shipped off to daycare he came back a different person he came back someone who gives out sickness he's patient zero yeah that's right but here's the thing i had heard that the baby was gonna get sick i was well aware this was gonna happen and i had heard the baby was gonna get sick and i had heard that i was gonna get sick but so soon how could it possibly happen so soon i'm a strapping young man i'm the pinnacle of health i mean i don't exercise i don't particularly eat right i don't get out of my chair for probably 14 hours of the day but i like to think of myself you know i have a little sparkle in my eye there's orange juice in the fridge uh so i i mean i in theory i'm close to it i floss my teeth when i you know a week before i go to the dentist and what's not healthy about that i walk the dog i don't know i don't know what i'm trying to tell you about for podcast i think i think i might be uh delirious with fever i think i might you know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i actually have to i'm going to the doctor today guess what i don't do guess what natty bumper guard don't do he don't go to the doctor when he's sick but this has been two weeks of sick i'm sick of being sick i said to someone the other day i would say that i feel like garbage but that would be giving garbage a bad name and then i was i didn't want to laugh at my own little joke i thought it was a cute little joke because it's just like i'm worse off i'm worse off than garbage oh oh i don't feel good bumper podcast somebody bring me some chicken chicken snoodle soup somebody bring me a chicken and a poodle with some soup i think it's the only way i'm gonna get out of this tail bed i don't i don't even know

  • The Know Show Episode six — “The digital error”

    Is ours a predictable era or an era of predictable error? Expect the unexpected as we cloud your head with worldly thoughts of weather forecasting, critters and digital innovation.

    Special thanks to this week’s sponsor, Hohumdai Motors.

    Additional thanks to Steven Reines.