Natty Bumpercar doesn’t love snow, and he’s afraid of alligators.
Do you like snow? Let us know by sending an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com.
Alligators are dinosaurs!
About This Episode
Natty Bumpercar returns to headquarters for a special recording session in episode 182 of Bumperpodcast. After setting up his equipment at home, Natty shares his strong opinions about snow and the exhausting process of getting children ready to play outside in winter weather. He humorously describes the irony of spending thirty minutes bundling up kids who only last a minute and a half in the snow. The episode takes an unexpected turn when Natty recounts a harrowing childhood encounter with an alligator while riding his bicycle through Florida marshlands, adding his characteristic comedic storytelling to the tale.
Memorable Quotes
“I love watching it on tv maybe getting some sort of status update from the snow. It's like hey I'm falling, I'm like cool good for you.”
— Natty Bumpercar
“Really we just spent the last half hour getting you ready to come out here and play in the snow and now you're done really?”
— Natty Bumpercar
“You're going downhill you see this thing you can't stop you can't turn around so you just gotta gun it and I did and I'm still here to tell the tale.”
— Natty Bumpercar
Topics: #winter #snow #parenting #childhoodmemories #florida #alligators #weather
Featuring: Natty Bumpercar
Full Transcript
Natty Bumpercar: after many moons and many stars and many far away things i'm back in headquarters and i'm recording on my actual recording equipment which is the best news ever for me and the best news for you but don't get used to it because it's probably for just this week i forgot something at home and i had to come all the way back to headquarters and then i looked at the time and i was like oh i've got time and i was like do i have time and i was like oh i have got some time and so i fired up the old equipment and then nothing worked and so then i used all the time that i thought i was gonna have to uh set everything back up and get everything working and it was so exciting and so thrilling that i was like i can't not record i have to record how could i not i'm here everything's set up and if i leave then everything's gonna get unset up and then it's all gonna vicious cycle i you know what i had to do wipe the slate clean and so here we are bumper podcast it's me natty bumper car coming to you as live as i get from headquarters on a very snowy day outside uh the uh the snow is deep and cold and icy and not pleasant not a fan of snow uh i love watching it on tv maybe getting uh you know some sort of status update about from the snow it's like hey i'm falling i'm like cool good for you good falling hey look at me i'm adrift now oh you're adrift that's great good for you love to hear it love to hear your update you know or maybe like get my end of the year kind of like here's what happened with the family this year oh great oh cool snow that sounds like so much fun but to actually be around it not so much no to walk through it to drive through it to uh have uh uh the tiny bumper cars that are like look at the snow and then you all right let's go out in the snow and then you got to get them all dressed up and here's your boots and here's your jacket i don't want to wear my jacket you put your jacket on i don't want to put my jacket on if you want to go outside you're gonna put your jacket on i don't want to put my jacket on i want to play in the snow what so you want to play in the snow naked because that's not allowed like i will go to jail if i allow my children to play in the snow naked and i you know what i'm not even uh boycotting that or saying that's a bad thing i think it's good that parents who send their kids out in the snow naked go to jail kids gotta have clothes on it's cold you can get frostbite you can lose tiny fingers tiny baby fingers and i don't want that to happen so then you go through the whole process getting them dressed and then they like burst out of the the front door like little cannonballs and then like they slip fall face first into the snow inside i want to go in so really we just spent the last half hour getting you ready to come out here and play in the snow and now you're done really all right let's go back inside nope can't go in the house yet let's stand here in the foyer and uh start uh unlayering and brushing the snow off and you know then the only one who's covered in snow at the end of the whole thing is daddy that's me meanwhile the they get to luxuriate they get to hang out in a nice warm bathtub uh that i i've filled for them and i also uh if i'm feeling really nice i'm gonna make them hot chocolate for what for being out in the snow for a minute and a half it's silliness god do you have snow where you are is it snowing there now just move we should all move i don't know where does cal does california have snow i know they like to party but i don't know if they have snow florida a little muggy little too many alligators can't do that i'm afraid of alligators did i tell you by the time when i was riding my bicycle this was a long time ago and i was like probably 12 14 through some woodland trails like in some marshes down near florida and uh and then i see up on the trail what is it i don't know i don't know oh a crocodile or an alligator it's an alligator and i was just like but he was probably like uh you know 15 18 whatever he was a little ways away from me and i was riding a bicycle as fast as i possibly could you know but it was a situation where you're going downhill you see this thing you can't stop you can't turn around so you just gotta gun it and i did and i'm still here to tell the tale he didn't even move i don't even know if he blinked he probably was just some sort of a uh statue
Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | iHeartRadio | RSS | subscribe