Tag: chaos

  • Bumperpodcast #199: Pig, Robot, and Doodle Poodle are not good at this.

    Bumperpodcast #199: Pig, Robot, and Doodle Poodle are not good at this.

    Pig, Robot, and Doodle Poodle are still running the ship on this episode of the Bumperpodcast … Runnning it right into the ground – that is!

    Do you run? Let us know by sending an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com.

    About This Episode

    In episode 199 of Bumperpodcast, Aloysious J. Pig attempts to host alongside Robot and Doodle Poodle while Natty Bumpercar is mysteriously absent. The trio struggles with basic podcast hosting duties as Robot rambles about his soup consumption, Doodle Poodle insists on talking about art and drawing despite never actually drawing, and Pig grows increasingly exasperated with his co-hosts. The episode devolves into chaotic bickering about listener names ("bumper somethings"), whether mittens are an engaging topic, and concerns that Bumpercar may be frozen into an ice cube somewhere in the woods. This improvised episode showcases the puppets' comedic inability to run a show without their usual host.

    Memorable Quotes

    “I'm sitting in a room with a crazy bucket of bolts and a dog who likes to draw and I've never seen him make a drawing. I just hear him talk about drawings all the time.”

    — Aloysious J. Pig

    “Why would he put tears in the name of the people who listen to the show because they're so sad because they're listening to the show?”

    — Doodle Poodle

    “Now you know it sounds terrible this show.”

    — Aloysious J. Pig

    Topics: #podcasting #hosting #art #drawing #winter #chaos #friendship

    Featuring: Robot, Aloysious J. Pig, Doodle Poodle

    Full Transcript

    Robot: robot what are you doing this is we're starting a second podcast here and this is this is how you

    Aloysious J. Pig: start you don't even say to people like oh hey everybody it's me robot and nothing like that you're just like um oh um you've done this before you know i mean act like you've been to the end zone before robot i i everybody this is a bumper podcast clearly and i'm big and oh that's robot

    Doodle Poodle: over there don't everybody forget about me all at once either because i'm here to it's me i'm doodle poodle i'm the i'm a poodle that likes to to i'm to do

    Aloysious J. Pig: i like to draw i mean i don't understand is this what we're gonna do every episode now we're just gonna establish where we are you i'm a pig you're a robot you're you're a dog that likes to draw it

    Robot: doesn't seem very engaging to the audience the audience wants to know who we are they want to know all about it they for instance they want to know that yesterday i had a can of soup nobody wants to know that um

    Aloysious J. Pig: all right so officially i'm sitting in a room with a crazy uh bucket of bolts and a dog who's likes to i guess to draw and i've never seen him make a drawing i just hear him talk about drawings all the time if you go to his twitter feed he's like oh i think i'm gonna make a drawing or whatever it's a doodle it's actually a doodle all right fine i mean that's the thing i don't care nobody cares let's just do what we do and do the bumper podcast all right what's he call you guys bumper sausages that's not what your name's uh bumper bumper somethings bumper somethings i think that's the people who listen to this show it's the bumper somethings

    Doodle Poodle: that doesn't make any sense at all why would he put tears in the name of the people who listen to the show because they're so sad because they're listening to the show because that doesn't seem like a show that i don't want to listen to i would want to listen to the show that makes me happy like the bumper podcast giggles or something like like that no no more talking for the dog

    Aloysious J. Pig: ever again i think that's it for you go and go eat you go eat some kibble i got some kibble for you to to nosh on and eat it eat it eat as much as you want and it's delicious and just cough or just whatever you say sounds so silly

    Robot: can i talk or do you have any type of stuff that i could eat i could go for some

    Doodle Poodle: and i don't even i don't want i'm not i'm not even really all that hungry right now because i had a bigger breakfast and i don't feel i feel like it's time to do the show and like i want to talk on the show and be like more like talk on the show that was stuff for the for the yeah

    Aloysious J. Pig: all right uh oh wow let's uh see if we can get into any uh topics people love topics on podcasts so maybe we talk about i don't know it's cold now you guys go we got your jackets on you got your hoods your hats your mittens your gloves your scarves you're uh you're really struggling

    Robot: you're really really struggling

    Doodle Poodle: i know i gotta tell you it's not it's not a good show i agree with the robot i think we should talk about art and drawing and stuff because i mean people love art it makes them happy to make drawings sometimes so you see people and they have drawings that they made and they're just smiling and they're so happy you know i don't know if talking about mittens is gonna be a good idea i don't know if talking about mittens is gonna be a good idea make anybody happy at all for really well we we do want people to be happy we'll listen to the

    Aloysious J. Pig: show it's the bumper podcast i'm pig it's robot over there and toodle poodle we uh we're hosting it because bumper cars disappeared we don't know where he went don't know where he gone uh he's probably out in the woods uh ice cubing right now what does that mean he's frozen into an ice cube

    Doodle Poodle: we should really find them that sounds wow it sounds just really terrible i wouldn't want that ever

    Aloysious J. Pig: now you know it sounds terrible this show

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  • Bumperpodcast #189: Hard to listen to

    Bumperpodcast #189: Hard to listen to

    Natty Bumpercar has some guests on this week’s show … Some guests that seem to be totally focused on breaking the Bumperpodcast.

    Do you break things? Let us know by sending an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com.

    About This Episode

    In this chaotic and hilarious episode of Bumperpodcast, Natty Bumpercar attempts to interview two very young guests, Oliver and Emerson (Emmy), with unpredictable results. The children struggle to follow podcast etiquette, touching equipment, making potty jokes, and punching each other while Natty tries desperately to keep the interview on track. Emmy sings "Happy Birthday" and the kids attempt to tell jokes about pigs, cows, and alligators with varying degrees of coherence. What was meant to be a sweet interview with kindergarten-aged guests becomes a comedic disaster as Natty learns that interviewing small children is perhaps the most difficult challenge the Bumperpodcast has ever faced. The episode ends with Natty declaring it "unlistenable" and "untenable" while bidding farewell to the chaotic tiny guests.

    Memorable Quotes

    “I was told that this was going to go well these kids have been trained… is this unlistenable bumper podcast it's it's undoable i'm gonna tell you that right now”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “That was the quietest story ever i don't know about your future in broadcasting buddy”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “We've had punching in the Buffer Podcast today… Emmy, no hit. Ollie, no hit. Ollie, seriously. You're a brute.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #children #interviews #kindergarten #chaos #jokes #singing #podcasting #birthday

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: whoa wow hi everybody it's me natty bumper car and i got some guests today in the bumper podcast you gotta stand up now you gotta talk into there hello hello he says oliver can you say hello yeah man where's the hearing the hearing is in your ears don't worry it just sounds the same way as what why because your ears are your hearing parts where you hear but hi hey did you just start something what'd you just start where'd you just start going what's this that's a wire and it was in a microphone but what i'm asking you a question what did you just start doing in the mornings where do you go every day where do you go don't touch that no touching go to kindergarten you go to kindergarten what do you do there oh no why would you say that oliver what do you do can you say hi hi good job ollie where's the speak the speak is in the uh so it goes into the microphone through the cord and into the computer can you see these little lines down here those lines if you watch them if i get louder they get bigger and if i get quieter they get smaller so if i was a mouse it would be like this and if i was a dragon it would be like this crazy huh tell me a story that's too quiet that was the quietest story ever i don't know about your future in broadcasting buddy tell me your favorite thing a big butt no no potty talk we don't work that way i don't what you bake i baked what what did i bake i did not hey we don't have any sponsors that's too much too loud what you just did there is it's called over modulating and we try to avoid that in the business because it makes people's ears hurt now i thought you were going to tell me about kindergarten do you go to kindergarten every day oliver can you sing me a song guys we're not supposed to touch any of this you guys are a very difficult interview emerson you used to be an easy all right all right so you're not going to tell them anything about anything you don't have to touch that remember so what you do is those are just some wires for the microphone ollie stop trying to grab everything dear a bumper podcast i was told that this was going to go well these kids have been trained don't touch any of that no no no that's just the uh software that's recording us right now is this unlistenable bumper podcast it's it's undoable i'm gonna tell you that right now is this untenable is it unremarkable i think so emmy sing me a song

    Unknown: i'm

    Natty Bumpercar: I need it to be louder. I can't even hear you.

    Unknown: Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to Peter. Happy birthday to Peter.

    Natty Bumpercar: Is it Peter's birthday? I didn't know that.

    Unknown: My birthday. Happy birthday to you.

    Natty Bumpercar: It's not your birthday for a few weeks. Happy birthday, Ollie. Ollie. No punching, Ollie. That's right. We've had punching in the Buffer Podcast today.

    Unknown: Beep, beep, beep.

    Natty Bumpercar: Beep, beep, beep. Emmy, no hit. Ollie, no hit. Ollie, seriously. You're a brute.

    Unknown: Why did you… Oh, tell a joke. What did the pig say? Dang. What did the pig say?

    Natty Bumpercar: Emmy, no potty talk.

    Unknown: What did the pig say with a cow? The pig jumped over the cow like a deer.

    Natty Bumpercar: Oh, Emerson, Oliver said moo. Is that not correct? Okay. Well, I'm Daddy Bumper Car. These are the tiny Bum Pops.

    Unknown: Yeah, because Daddy told me… He told me a joke about an alligator. What did the alligator say with a mouse? Cuckoo. The alligator…

    Natty Bumpercar: What did the alligator say? Don't stare at the lines. I know it could be mesmerizing, but you want to keep talking. You want to keep going.

    Unknown: I have to do it all over.

    Natty Bumpercar: Okay. What if we do this?

    Unknown: Knock, knock. Who's there?

    Natty Bumpercar: Cuckoo.

    Unknown: Cuckoo. Hi. Alligator. What?

    Natty Bumpercar: Ha, ha. Is that funny? I don't know if that was…

    Unknown: It's funny.

    Natty Bumpercar: Not even a little bit. Bumper Podcast. Run while you can. Yeah. Bye.

    Unknown: Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.

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  • Bumperpodcast #185: Blibber. Blubber. Blabber!

    Bumperpodcast #185: Blibber. Blubber. Blabber!

    Natty Bumpercar is flummoxed to start the show and have guests show up … It’s a bit of a cacophony … Pig and Robot throw us immediately of of the rails. This show is already broken. Yay!

    Do you have any batteries? Let us know if you missed us by sending an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com.

    Blibber. Blabber. Blubber!

    About This Episode

    In this chaotic episode of Bumperpodcast, Natty Bumpercar's plans for a structured comeback show are derailed when Robot unexpectedly returns after being stored in a closet with dead batteries. Robot reveals that someone gave him new batteries, much to Natty's dismay, as he had hoped Robot would stay powered down longer. Meanwhile, Aloysious J. Pig chimes in with his support, though he's dealing with a cold that makes him sound "husky like a dog." The episode devolves into classic Bumperpodcast chaos as the characters bicker about who should be on the show and what makes it entertaining, with Robot getting stuck in binary mode and everyone accusing each other of just doing "blibber blabber blubber."

    Memorable Quotes

    “robots do not sleep and robots do not dream maddie bumper car we are robots we are all binary all the time”

    — Robot

    “i left for a couple weeks hoping that by the time i got back your batteries would have been run down completely which they were”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “when pig is on the mic people know it's going to be right even if i don't sound exactly like myself”

    — Aloysious J. Pig

    Topics: #robots #batteries #friendship #chaos #comeback #podcasting #improvisation

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar, Robot

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: awesome so we're back what one week and all of a sudden robots back this is insane ridiculous silly come on we were on good foot we were gonna we were a bumper guy it's a mean pig i totally agree with everything that you've been saying all about a robot showing up on the bumper pocket when maybe he shouldn't even that's what i'm saying exactly no i didn't say anything and you you're not supposed to be here number one and number two you don't even sound like yourself you sound like some this is supposed to be eventually i was gonna get you guys back on the show and but it's too soon and i'm not ready really to have you on the show and we haven't discussed what we're gonna talk about and i i

    Robot: just but maddie do you remember the last time that i was here and my batteries were running out and you said you were gonna put new batteries in me and then you didn't put new batteries in me and then i've been sitting in the corner of the closet for so so so so long and eventually somebody came in and gave me new batteries and i have new batteries and i feel much

    Natty Bumpercar: better okay stop just stop talking just stop that was me thank you okay stop stop i can't stop talking stop okay no i yes i do remember the last time that i saw you and your batteries are running out and you know i said i was gonna go get you new batteries but i left for a couple weeks hoping that by the time i got back your batteries would have been run down completely which they were and then i stored you i didn't just throw you in the closets that's not how i operate you know that uh and uh i thought you were comfortable no i thought you were happier in there you know sleeping your robot sleep doing whatever robots do when their batteries run out um dreaming

    Robot: your robot dreams robots do not sleep and robots do not dream maddie bumper car we are robots we are all binary all the time we are all robots we are all robots we are all robots we are all robots one zero zero one one one zero zero zero one one one one one one one one one one zero zero one one one zero no three just numbers but don't you forget about me maddie i've known you for so long

    Natty Bumpercar: he's stuck i think he's stuck there he's better thank you you're welcome so anyway bumper car what i was saying about myself over here was uh you know it's great that you got the band back and you cracked the microphones which you know means you turned them on everyone knows that and uh it's just it's very fun it's not that fun and by the way yes i do have a cold that's why i sound like this i sound a little bit husky today like a dog yeah husky like a dog all right you get it yeah that's what they say husky but it's still just me pig this is what i guess what i sound like for right now i don't know okay well that's okay i mean that's fine and everything but like it's just hard because you know how it is i wanted to have the first show which was great come back and then i wanted to have the second show kind of build on that and kind of establish like some structure and like so you know this is what we're gonna do bumper podcast you know what it is you know how it works you know what to do boom boom boom bumper podcast whatever and uh bumper god father bumper podcast the tears

    Robot: you know and then you guys jump in and we make the show so awesome people listen when we're on the bumper podcast natty when you're honest

    Natty Bumpercar: alive it's more like it's awesome it's what pig is trying to say i mean i don't like to agree with the tin can alley over here but when pig is on the mic people know it's going to be right even if i don't sound exactly like myself people know that it's like oh there's big what's pick gonna do Pig and a bee, you know, like, yeah, blibber blabber, blabber blubber, blibber blabber. That's what I'm saying, blibber blabber blubber, that's all you guys do, blibber blabber blubber. I'm a robot. Yeah, thanks. Well, so I guess I'm Natty Bumpercar, that's Pig, that's Robot, and all we do is blibber blabber blubber.

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  • Bumperpodcast # 160 – Try, try some more

    Bumperpodcast # 160 – Try, try some more

    Here in Headquarters, everyone is lost and running into walls and spinning around in circles … We make an attempt to jump headfirst back into the waters and end up with a giant bonk on our nose.

    Again, we have a guest host and bedlam and chaos and a bunch of sillies.

    How do you feel about bedlam? Let us know by sending an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com.

    There is chaos all around!

    The Bumperpodcast is a free weekly comedy podcast with squeaky clean laughs and jumbles!

    About This Episode

    In this chaotic episode of Bumperpodcast, Natty Bumpercar is absent and Rufus T. Rufus attempts to host with an unusual helper – a young child who isn't particularly interested in cooperating. The little guest repeatedly asks for various characters including "daddy bumper car" and Aloysious J. Pig, while refusing to talk on air. Producer tries to maintain order as Rufus struggles with the challenging co-host situation. When Pig finally arrives, he breaks down the podcast's quality into negative numbers before the young helper goes silent again. This episode showcases the unpredictable and improvisational nature of Bumperpodcast at its most delightfully disastrous.

    Memorable Quotes

    “It's like a broken window that's getting broken up even more.”

    — Rufus T. Rufus

    “I remember when this podcast had absolutely nothing going for it, and now it's got even less. Somehow it went from zero to negative zero.”

    — Aloysious J. Pig

    “Hey, you guys are not doing a very good…”

    — Producer

    Topics: #chaos #guestappearance #children #hosting #improvisation #behindthescenes #numbers #comedy

    Featuring: Producer, Rufus T. Rufus, Aloysious J. Pig

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  • Bumperpodcast # 159 – At a loss

    Bumperpodcast # 159 – At a loss

    Continuing in my sporadic spiral of crumbling … I present to you a new Bumperpodcast that has a guest host who needs to learn a thing or two about not touching the microphone.

    And – with that … I digress.

    Do you digress? Let us know by sending an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com.

    People should not be distressed about a digress!

    About This Episode

    In this chaotic and heartwarming episode of Bumperpodcast, Natty Bumpercar attempts to record with an unusual guest host – a very young child who doesn't quite grasp podcasting yet. With headquarters overrun by children and Producer absent (stuck in the computer), Natty struggles to maintain control as his pint-sized co-host learns about microphones and windscreens. Between managing the energetic toddler and explaining podcast basics, Natty shares updates about the new baby in the house using his signature absurdist humor, including a memorable riff about a baby drinking his "milkshake" (his life). The episode captures the beautiful mess of parenting meeting podcasting, with Natty gamely comparing his young helper's hosting skills to previous Bumperpodcast guests like Robot and Moth the Sheep.

    Memorable Quotes

    “My life was a milkshake the baby had a straw he was across the room and he was eating it up… he intimidated me with his straw and said something along the lines of daddy i'm going to drink your milkshake”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “You even with the silly talk sound better than robot ever did so that's that's a plus you're not as good of a host as moth the sheep but you're you know you're right in there right in the middle”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #parenting #babies #chaos #family #podcasting #children #humor

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar

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