Tag: chaos

  • Bumperpodcast #297 – Kid Chaos

    Bumperpodcast #297 – Kid Chaos

    Oh no. After a successful appearance, the kids are back – and so is the chaos. Pig stops by to help as well!

    The Bumperpodcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp around Headquarters, in Coffee-Can Alley, with Natty Bumpercar and his entire gaggle of pals! 

    Do you like chaos? Let us know by sending an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com.

    About This Episode

    In this chaotic episode of Bumperpodcast, host Natty Bumpercar is joined by his two young sons for an unpredictable conversation that ranges from cutting down a backyard tree to imaginary dog treat pizza. The boys discuss their father's tree-cutting adventures, their recent trip to the city for a comedy show, and their excitement about joining a pool. The episode features plenty of sibling banter, microphone mishaps, and Oliver's increasingly wild stories about driving dogs and bone guns. Natty struggles to keep the conversation on track while his sons create elaborate fictional scenarios involving their dog Socks eating special pizza and breaking health codes.

    Memorable Quotes

    “I didn't go to the city. You went to the city? We went to a show. What show? You and me did jokes.”

    — Unknown (child)

    “So let me get this straight. You can't sit next to Emerson eating strawberries but you can sit next to Socks eating dog poop pizza?”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “Welcome to Distraction City. Population, those two.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #family #kids #parenting #comedyshow #summeractivities #pool #pets #chaos

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: hey bumper podcast it's me natty bumper car and i have some exciting news the tree is gone i'm not i'm not even gonna bury the lead i'm just gonna come right out and i'm gonna tell you the tree is gone i hear feet above me which means that there are people running to be on the show which is very exciting because oh there's two people coming i can't do a podcast without you guys that's right oh boy ladies and gentlemen we have two special guests here today three i was not oh we have three because the dog came in too that is this morning very exciting i was asleep and uh the dog got away he did and i had to go save him come back the dog's now okay all right so all right the dog's gone the dog is no longer

    Unknown: on the show so the dog is scared what's the dog scared of i don't know maybe this

    Natty Bumpercar: hey why don't you put your butt right here there you go my dog what are you talking about hey is that what you're gonna talk is that what you're gonna say what he's

    Unknown: gone

    Natty Bumpercar: what are you gonna talk about were you guys so surprised yesterday when you came home went out and why were you surprised because i was here or were you just surprised that i brought

    Unknown: you home come on bo i didn't i wasn't surprised nothing happened no nothing nothing happened

    Natty Bumpercar: no or did something big happen um the backyard is not different at all oh the backyard's different daddy daddy cut the tree down no he did done done done why is that ollie why did i cut the

    Unknown: tree down why did i cut the tree down cosズ he's the cutting man, wat is the cutting man and all of her cuddys

    Natty Bumpercar: daddy is the cutting 162 00rj what does a cutting man do

    Unknown: he cuts down the tree

    Natty Bumpercar: chops down trees like a boss

    Unknown: whut, that doesn't make no sense

    Natty Bumpercar: does that mean anything to you

    Unknown: all of the cutting man no he's not no i'm

    Natty Bumpercar: he's the chopping boy

    Unknown: chopping boy and i have a little tweezer that baby snaps those branches up its my tree

    Natty Bumpercar: no you don't have a tree

    Unknown: a tree. They don't make no sense. Daddy, do you remember? When I showed you that tree, you said, be careful. No. He's going to break you. Watch out.

    Natty Bumpercar: We're going to switch over to here, but you can still keep talking to Emerson.

    Unknown: So, anyway. So, Emerson,

    Natty Bumpercar: if Oliver was the shopping boy, what were you?

    Unknown: I know his name. I don't want to tell.

    Natty Bumpercar: You don't want to tell everybody? The dreamy. Oh, good job. That's why he broke the microphone. I told you he was going to do it. That's why we don't touch things all the time, guys.

    Unknown: Now he broke it forever? Yes, forever.

    Natty Bumpercar: There's no need to yell, because the microphone's right there. And you've got headphones on, so you can hear yourself talk.

    Unknown: Yeah, that's creepy.

    Natty Bumpercar: Remember how he just broke it by touching it?

    Unknown: Oh, yeah. I remember how he broke it. So, you're still touching it. It's amazing.

    Natty Bumpercar: Why does he keep touching it? Whose children are these? So, you were surprised by the tree being gone? Yeah, a little bit. I didn't show you guys the photos and videos of it, did I? Yeah, you did. Oh, I showed you at school. That's right. Here, here's what you guys can do. You didn't show Oliver. Did you show the little one? I'm going this ear. Because he didn't see the tree. There, does that work? I guess you're not talking about the tree anymore. I don't know what's happening. This is a weird episode. See, isn't it weird how you can hear yourself talk anyway? Well, it's headphones. It's not that weird. So, what else did Daddy do yesterday?

    Unknown: Oh, yeah. Imagine he took a nap or something. He's making me so hurting. He's hurting. Fix the boy. You definitely didn't touch it. Take a shower. I can tell that. Oliver, I'm not going to wear the microphone. All right, take them off. I wish I could tell my story. Why are you touching the microphone? I just get excited. I don't know. I love animals really much like that. I like animals, too.

    Natty Bumpercar: Do you have animals on your shirt? Why are you trying to climb?

    Unknown: Because I want to get to the microphone.

    Natty Bumpercar: Do you want to stand, too? Wow, you guys are

    Unknown: out of control. They're out of control. Daddy just hit the microphone.

    Natty Bumpercar: Welcome to Distraction City. Population, those two.

    Unknown: Daddy's distracted. Stop spitting.

    Natty Bumpercar: Did you spit?

    Unknown: No, Oliver keeps on making the breath on me. What's he doing? Stop making the breath on me. It smells bad, I guess.

    Natty Bumpercar: Does it pig breath? It's just talking to the microphone.

    Unknown: Don't yell.

    Natty Bumpercar: What did Daddy do yesterday besides a tree? Something you're both excited about.

    Unknown: Is it food?

    Natty Bumpercar: Man, you guys are good at answering questions today. I'm trying. You know what? After your last appearance, everyone's excited about you being on the show. I mean, I was.

    Unknown: Stop putting your breath on me. I see the backyard. That's the front yard. Yeah, it's the front. So anyway, I want to tell us…

    Natty Bumpercar: Oliver keeps on putting his breath on you. Hey, Ollie, can you stop putting your breath on people? It's so much cleaning. It smells like… Come on. He just woke up. He just ate some food. Can a dog smell a little bit?

    Unknown: It smells like rotten teeth breath.

    Natty Bumpercar: Ollie, do you have rotten teeth breath? Oh, no. Done, done.

    Unknown: He's going to have to go to the doctor.

    Natty Bumpercar: Now I have rotting teeth breath. Wait, is it catching?

    Unknown: Somebody smell my breath. Smell my breath.

    Natty Bumpercar: We're going to have to go to the dentist and get all of our teeth pulled. Oh, yeah, the dentist. I said doctor. No, I don't want to do that. Golly gee. Golly, golly gee. Good voice you're doing. You're so heavy. I can't hold you like this. Daddy? Yes, sir. Oliver.

    Unknown: What are you… Wait, on Sunday… Oliver. On Sunday, are we having a babysitter? Babysitter?

    Natty Bumpercar: No, on Sunday, we're having the whole family over. Who? No, come on.

    Unknown: Not all of them. It's Mother's Day.

    Natty Bumpercar: Mother is a pig. That's on Sunday, again. What's Saturday? I've said that a few times. Do we have a babysitter on Sunday? No, we do not. I just said… On Saturday? We don't have a babysitter this weekend. There's no babysitter this weekend.

    Unknown: But you said… Can I babysit?

    Natty Bumpercar: Oliver, what day do we have a babysitter?

    Unknown: I don't know. It's like a mystery now. Oh, June 10th.

    Natty Bumpercar: Yeah. I know. June 10th. June 10th is the worst. I can't believe it.

    Unknown: I can't believe it.

    Natty Bumpercar: No. That would be the worst thing ever.

    Unknown: The worst?

    Natty Bumpercar: Why would you say that? Oh, my goodness.

    Unknown: Then Mommy would never see you again. That'd be so sad.

    Natty Bumpercar: And Mommy would cry.

    Unknown: Could I have his bed? I'm joking. That was a hilarious joke.

    Natty Bumpercar: Never mind. Guys, where did we go last weekend? We went to the city. And what did we do?

    Unknown: I didn't go to the city. You went to the city? We went to a show. What show? You and me did jokes.

    Natty Bumpercar: I did jokes and you guys came? You went to a show? Did you have fun?

    Unknown: Comedy show? Maybe.

    Natty Bumpercar: Maybe.

    Unknown: Socks came too. No, he did not. Yes, we did.

    Natty Bumpercar: Was Socks in the back seat of the car?

    Unknown: Yeah, probably. No, he wasn't. No. Oliver ate… Socks ate pizza. Oliver ate pizza. Why did he eat pizza? Because he was sneaking in.

    Natty Bumpercar: You ate pizza because you were sneaking in?

    Unknown: This is ridiculous. Socks ate pizza with me.

    Natty Bumpercar: You guys went to a pizza parlor together?

    Unknown: No.

    Natty Bumpercar: What kind of pizza did you get?

    Unknown: I don't know.

    Natty Bumpercar: Cheese pizza. What kind of pizza did Socks get? Dog treat pizza.

    Unknown: There's no such thing as dog treat pizza. Dog treat pizza. That sounds yummy.

    Natty Bumpercar: It's only for dogs. It's my favorite kind though.

    Unknown: That smells yucky. Dog treat pizza? Depends on what they're on. It's only for dogs. So if I went into a pizza place and I ordered a dog treat pizza, they wouldn't give it to me? No way. Only for Socks.

    Natty Bumpercar: Oh, man. What if… So I'd have to have Socks next to me. Or maybe I'd have to pay Socks to buy the dog treat pizza so that I could go outside

    Unknown: and eat it. How are you going to pay the dog?

    Natty Bumpercar: He doesn't even have a wife. He doesn't even have a wife. He doesn't even have a wife. It tastes like poop dogs. Ew. Dogs don't eat that. That sounds disgusting.

    Unknown: There's no way. It tastes for people. It's only for dog treats for only dogs.

    Natty Bumpercar: There is no way that the health code is not being violated by him selling dog poop.

    Unknown: There's no way that they're going to let him do that.

    Natty Bumpercar: They don't even have a dog. They don't even have a dog. They don't even have a dog. They don't even have a dog. They don't even have a dog.

    Unknown: They didn't even let me in restaurants.

    Natty Bumpercar: Did you sit next to him while he ate that pizza?

    Unknown: And I ate mine cheese.

    Natty Bumpercar: So let me get this straight. You can't sit next to Emerson eating strawberries but you can sit next to Socks eating dog poop pizza?

    Unknown: It doesn't make sense. No. It's the dog treat pizza. Then I'll try it. I drove Socks back here.

    Natty Bumpercar: Wait, you drove the dog back here? That doesn't make any sense at all. You can't even reach the pedals.

    Unknown: That kid's going straight to jail.

    Natty Bumpercar: You're so tiny. you said door to open the door how did you get out of the car like a delinquent uh-oh i had a gun

    Unknown: he had a what what in the world what are you teaching these kids

    Natty Bumpercar: i don't even believe what i'm hearing right now this is not my ollie this is not who you are you do not move out drive dogs around with guns that you shoot to the pizza place that's too much no

    Unknown: i got out how i got out i got a gun and he got out come on did you break our car do you think mommy's gonna like you talking no she ain't like no not even a little bit if you if you push you down there what are you gonna push people down what what now what are you talking

    Natty Bumpercar: about that's the second time even on the show and you've done uh an infringement of copyright that we cannot you can't afford

    Unknown: it's batman i see batman little one's leaving i see batman everybody what is he talking about batman the bobblehead oh he's over there and i have and i have and i have a star wars guy what is it's like a real divergence that's a good transition i'm glad that we went from the and he has a bone gun a what he has a bone what is a bone gun i don't even know what words i mean

    Natty Bumpercar: it's like a bone gun does it shoot bones so did you emerson did you go to the city as well yeah and what was your favorite part

    Unknown: we go with everything i don't know well i mean did you like the show the whole experience i like the show and i liked everything were you embarrassed no i would be embarrassed scared no did you like

    Natty Bumpercar: that they put daddy up first yeah i wish i would have put me up first that's okay um and then we came home right and we played a little bit we've been playing we've been scootering right

    Unknown: we were scootering yes you guys been going outside all the time in the front driveway

    Natty Bumpercar: well that is true thanks thanks thanks for backing me up on that one that one's true

    Unknown: but uh the pool i wish i could have told a story oh yeah the pool but it makes so much more sense we joined the pool yeah yeah yeah which means

    Natty Bumpercar: but you're not gonna bring me what is he saying ollie that is not polite what is this kid on we're gonna go as soon as we can oliver not polite sir uh whenever whenever the pool joins then we i mean whenever uh words words are you gonna bring socks to the pool

    Unknown: you know there's no dogs allowed i i trust you but there's a german shepherd one no it wasn't at the pool no no that was at the mystery icon

    Natty Bumpercar: whose friend who's whose dog was that who's friend of yours um me it was michelle's dog and his name is name is michelle's dog and his name is michelle's dog and his name is Dog and his name is name zoo name and name

    Podcast: Download | Embed

    Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | iHeartRadio | RSS | subscribe

  • Bumperpodcast #294 – Laser Lightning Pancakes

    Bumperpodcast #294 – Laser Lightning Pancakes

    Lasers – Lightning – Explosions – Pancakes! It’s a hyperactive and hyper-short edition of the Bumperpodcast!

    Do you eat breakfast? Let us know by sending an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com.

    This is a ‘Laser Lightning’ version of the Bumperpodcast – which is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp around Headquarters, in Coffee-Can Alley, with Natty Bumpercar and his entire gaggle of pals! 

    About This Episode

    In this lightning-fast episode of the Bumperpodcast, host Natty Bumpercar attempts to deliver what he calls a "laser episode" – promising explosive speed and brevity. After getting tangled up in his own time measurements involving eye blinks, hiccups, and heartbeats, Natty settles on a three-minute runtime, harking back to the podcast's earliest days. The episode takes a chaotic turn as he shares a morning breakfast struggle with his kids, who torment him by jokingly suggesting they eat the dog, then bacon (much to the distress of his friend Pig), before finally settling on pancakes. It's classic Bumperpodcast mayhem packed into a bite-sized format.

    Memorable Quotes

    “this episode is going to be so quick so fast that it's going to be over before you even blink your eyes”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “they decided they wanted to eat the dog for breakfast because they thought it was hilarious to torture me”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “i said no and then one said bacon and i was like why would you do that pig's my best friend”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #time #breakfast #parenting #sleep #shortepisodes #chaos #kids #food

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: this is what i like to call a laser episode of the bumper podcast it's lasers it's lightning it's lasers it's lightning it's lasers lasers lightning lightning lasers lasers explosions like that like what i'm saying is this episode is going to be so quick so fast that it's going to be over before you even blink your eyes i don't know how often you blink your eyes because i've never hung out with you maybe but i'm guessing that you blink your eyes wait did i say it's gonna be i forgot okay i got excited i can't remember if i said that it was going to be shorter than an eye blink or longer than in between it let me think because if you do that logically i mean i blink my eyes i another time there i blink my eyes a lot okay so it's not gonna be as uh short as as as quick punch as in between eye blinks because that's it would be over already and that'd be done and that episode wouldn't even make any sense to put that wouldn't even be like a promo that wouldn't even be like a teaser so it's not i think i need a new uh system of time uh counting that sounded very scientific uh let's see uh so eye blinks are out what other uh hiccups how often do you hiccup no that's going to be too long because you if you go like a week without hiccup i can't do a week-long episode they're they're not gonna let me upload that uh so heartbeats again no uh how about this this episode this laser lightning laser lightning laser lightning explosion episode of the bumper podcast is going to be about three minutes long that's right we're taking it back to how long the episodes were when we first started doing the bumper podcast not for all the episodes but just for this one because it's an episode how are we supposed to deal with that how are we supposed to live with that when there's only 30 seconds left fine i'll tell you something this morning i got up my kids didn't know what they wanted to eat for breakfast it was the first night in a week that they have let me sleep through the night which is amazing i feel like a million bucks and i said what do you want for breakfast i don't know well what do you want do you want this that this that this that this that they decided they wanted to eat the dog for breakfast because they thought it was hilarious to torture me by saying they wanted to eat the dog i said no and then one said bacon and i was like why would you do that pig's my best friend and then we decided you know what they were gonna eat pancakes

    Podcast: Download | Embed

    Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | iHeartRadio | RSS | subscribe

  • Bumperpodcast #293 – Turkeys and Rabbits

    Bumperpodcast #293 – Turkeys and Rabbits

    We talk about rabbits, and other things that come into your house and leave things. We also meet Rolly T. Rufus – Rufus’ brother!

    Have you ever met a rabbit? Let us know by sending an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com.

    The Bumperpodcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp around Headquarters, in Coffee-Can Alley, with Natty Bumpercar and his entire gaggle of pals! 

    About This Episode

    In this chaotic spring episode of Bumperpodcast, Aloysious J. Pig brings Turkey into the studio to deliver an urgent warning about an impending bunny situation. Host Natty Bumpercar struggles to understand what's happening as Rufus T. Rufus arrives with his older brother Raleigh T. Rufus, creating unexpected family drama. The conversation veers wildly from Easter bunny warnings to sibling rivalry, with Pig attempting to keep everyone focused on the mysterious rabbit threat. Natty reflects on the strange tradition of mythical creatures breaking into homes during holidays, from Santa to the Easter Bunny to leprechauns. The episode showcases the show's signature improvisational chaos as multiple characters talk over each other and the narrative spirals delightfully out of control.

    Memorable Quotes

    “It's this weird infatuation when you have kids at holidays of these creatures these magical mythical creatures that break into your house and do stuff.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “Sign on the dotted line and then I'll be a really rich swine. That's my new song.”

    — Aloysious J. Pig

    “I'm Rufus T. Rufus I don't listen to nobody never not once.”

    — Rufus T. Rufus

    Topics: #easter #family #holidays #chaos #siblingrivalry #mythicalcreatures #turkey #bunnies

    Featuring: Aloysious J. Pig, Natty Bumpercar, Turkey, Rufus T. Rufus, Raleigh T. Rufus

    Full Transcript

    Aloysious J. Pig: oh hey turkey turkey turkey turkey okay uh okay so here's the thing hey turkey hey all right everybody that's me aloesha's jay pig and i got turkeys in here too which is weird because it ain't really your holiday season you know proud and you just cock a little dough you're a turkey first off it's spring second off

    Natty Bumpercar: turkeys don't cock a total dough what are we doing hey guys it's me uh natty bumper guard what's up son you're the bumper podcast what's turkey doing here yeah you

    Aloysious J. Pig: yeah so i don't know is the answer i don't speak turkey so well but from my understanding he's upset about something so i decided to come in ruffle his feathers a little bit use the airwaves a little bit on the schedule you know embrace the platform that is the bumper podcast and get his word out on the streets on the main streets of turkey town well that's fine it's fine but normally

    Natty Bumpercar: you know uh i don't mind dropping a little bit of air on the streets of turkey town i've been guests from time to time but uh it's usually a reason that people are stopping by and uh turkey can you i don't speak turkey very well either i apologize but can you maybe just let us

    Aloysious J. Pig: know why you're here i guess okay i see what he is okay okay okay okay i'm getting it i'm not seeing anything what are you doing

    Natty Bumpercar: oh okay so you're here because in theory later this week at some point a bunny rabbit is going to come to my house with a basket of goodies for the children and so you're warning me that to keep an eye out for this bunny is is that was i i think that's what i got from what you were just saying is that right okay all right

    Aloysious J. Pig: on its way i think what turkey has brought to the table right now is i think we got ourselves a bunny situation a bit of a bunny situation a bit of a rabbit bunny situation situation so yeah betting down the hatches people what are you talking about

    Natty Bumpercar: what is about to happen what i don't understand what do you mean what is about to happen is something bad about to happen oh okay bye turkey thanks for the warning

    Turkey: hey who are you did y'all see that turkey just walking in the room that was just here

    Natty Bumpercar: yeah i did he's the biggest turkey out ever turkey but who are you huh who are you me yes

    Aloysious J. Pig: you my name is is Raleigh T. Rufus Raleigh T. Rufus and I you might make my acquaintance with my friend

    Rufus T. Rufus: well well well there he is there he is this is a time when family gets together bumper cars you met the acquaintance of my brother there he is he's a little bit littler but he's a lot bit older Mr. Raleigh T. Rufus there he is I'll buy that right now give it to him one time Raleigh

    Raleigh T. Rufus: this is gonna talk to y'all and then I saw that turkey and I was saying to myself what's a turkey like that turkey doing over here is this turkey town

    Natty Bumpercar: I don't know what's happening Rufus hi I haven't seen you in a while Raleigh you're really great I think you need to get closer to the microphone if you're gonna be on the podcast though cause you this is a recording booth and we're actually recording a podcast right now you know you wouldn't believe it I barely believe it based on what's happening hey Bumps

    Aloysious J. Pig: uh who is this dude what's up Ruf I got some paperwork I need you to fill out and sign and everything okay sign on the dotted line and then I'll be a really rich swine that's my new song I'm really rich but I said witch sign on the dotted line and then I'll be a really rich swine it's harder to do I think I'm just gonna stick with witch that's fine right

    Raleigh T. Rufus: what else do I say in here

    Natty Bumpercar: oh gosh

    Raleigh T. Rufus: Rufus is that a talking pig

    Aloysious J. Pig: that I'm looking at over there

    Natty Bumpercar: yeah it's a talking pig

    Aloysious J. Pig: what is this planet that you have broughted me to what is this I don't even understand this is what mama said she didn't want you to hang out with wait really you should go back home I ain't going back home you should go back home Rufus don't you Rufus don't you Rufus you need to come along with me right now

    Rufus T. Rufus: these are my business associates and they come we record I manage I am their manager I am their lawyer emeritus I do all of their paperwork I take care of everything I am the magician behind the scenes really that's what you're calling yourself I will be staying here and you go home and you can tell mom that's what the deal is I'm Rufus T. Rufus I don't listen to nobody never not once

    Natty Bumpercar: you know what my new wow I guess we're stuck in weird family drama now between Rufus and me and Raleigh my new favorite thing in the bumper podcast that I'm just now noticing is how every time somebody talks into the mic they say who they are because that's I feel like a really good sign of character development is when people have to be like hi my name is Natty Bumpercar I'm saying these words now oh and I am Pig I'm going to say these words my name is whatever Raleigh I mean there's a lot of names I guess that makes sense nobody

    Aloysious J. Pig: they can't see his brow so that makes sense

    Natty Bumpercar: so it makes sense that we're saying names yeah totally okay you know what carry on as you were you guys are doing a great job

    Aloysious J. Pig: so anyway I'm Aloysius J. Pig I'm just messing with you guys everybody knows who I am who I am I'm stuck down here with all these these these these backwards dudes it's just weird for me because where I come from is the big city the big mean dirty streets not a turkey town no no I come from the big mean streets of you know like over by Brooklyn Coffee Can Alley or Brown you know wherever I live I don't know where I live I live where I stay people come up to me all the time and they say hey Pig where do you stay and I say where do I stay and they said nice one where do you stay and they say I stay down here up the hill you know you know what I'm talking about

    Natty Bumpercar: no I don't think anybody knows what you're talking about yeah it was a lot of it made more sense when Turkey was here this is kind of definitely off the rails when Turkey was here at least we had it felt like we had a name narrative a through line narrative for the episode but then to be honest and I feel bad I'm not going to point any fingers but when Raleigh showed up excuse me I don't know what happened don't they stop making sense

    Aloysious J. Pig: a little bit you stop making you can't handle the truth you know what Rufus we need to go find us that turkey we need to go have ourselves a bit of a conversation with him about a few things for instance what kind of stuffing is better you know

    Rufus T. Rufus: oh now there he goes he's falling asleep falling asleep at the wheel as he does that's why he can't drive at night anymore you know what bumper car I had something I wanted to talk to you about but I'm not going to but I agree this whole ship has gone off of the rails that's fine I mixed my analogies up but y'all all have fun with your bunny talk or whatever you was going to talk about and I'm going to take my brother Raleigh T. Rufus on home tomorrow and we're going to have ourselves a final time going to go talk to that turkey that was inappropriate when he was going to have us a turkey but I think it's going to be just fine just fine pig you all go ahead and mail me your paperwork make sure to get it annotated notated and Rufus-tated Rufus-tated if you know what I'm saying and we will return

    Natty Bumpercar: okay wow well thanks for stopping by Rufus's brothers of Rufus brothers Rufus the brothers Rufus that's your name that's a good name your podcast it's never going to happen

    Aloysious J. Pig: so we should talk about we should talk about about the bunny we should talk about the bunny before people forget about the bunny

    Natty Bumpercar: yeah so

    Aloysious J. Pig: go ahead you go you do it you do it

    Natty Bumpercar: so it's this weird infatuation when you have kids at holidays of these creatures these magical mythical creatures that break into your house and do stuff we've got the elf on the shelf that comes around Christmas obviously there's Santa Claus that comes around Christmas now we have the leprechauns that we try to capture at St. Patrick's Day and then there's the and then there's this Easter bunny that comes and distributes eggs all around the house I don't think there's any other ones that I'm forgetting no there's nothing on Halloween there's not like thank goodness because that would that would not work out because the kids are already terrified enough but like get out of my house

    Podcast: Download | Embed

    Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | iHeartRadio | RSS | subscribe

  • Bumperpodcast 247 – Kid Chaos –

    Bumperpodcast 247 – Kid Chaos –

    A child comes and wreaks havoc on the Bumperpodcast. Batten down the hatches and hide your robots!

    Do you like kids? Let us know by sending an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com.

    Podcast: Download | Embed

    Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | iHeartRadio | RSS | subscribe

  • Bumperpodcast #231 – Contractual Issues

    Bumperpodcast #231 – Contractual Issues

    Rufus T. Rufus takes the Bumperpodcast over and declares that the show is at an end. That this is the last show. Can it be true?!

    Do you have a contract? Let us know by sending an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. 

    About This Episode

    In this chaotic episode of Bumperpodcast, manager Rufus T. Rufus storms in with shocking news: the show is cancelled forever! Host Natty Bumpercar and Aloysious J. Pig are blindsided when Rufus reveals that Pig has breached his contract by doing a show on Periscope. As Rufus waves around legal documents claiming Pig signed away exclusive rights to the Bumperpodcast, confusion ensues—especially since Pig admits he can't actually read. The episode captures the improvisational comedy chaos as the characters try to understand how Pig's daily Periscope adventures might have doomed their beloved podcast. Will this really be the end of the Bumperpodcast?

    Memorable Quotes

    “The Bumper Podcast is absolutely, inequivocably, totally, totally done. You can put your computer radios on the shelf, and you can walk away.”

    — Rufus T. Rufus

    “Did you read it before you signed it? I can't read, bro.”

    — Aloysious J. Pig

    “This is your only, we're your only client, and why would you take away the only show that we got?”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #contracts #legaltroubles #periscope #podcastcancellation #comedy #chaos #breachofcontract

    Featuring: Multiple speakers – diarization error

    Full Transcript

    Multiple speakers – diarization error: Ladies and gentlemen, this is Rufus T. Rufus. I am the manager around this establishment, and I'm here to tell you that the Bumper Podcast is absolutely, inequivocably, totally, totally done. Listen, you can stop listening right now if you want, you can put your computer radios on the shelf, and you can walk away, because again, I will say it, in totality, I have the legal language here. What is, Rufus, what are you doing? You're not supposed to be, you can't, you're not allowed to start the podcast. Well, my friend, you need to understand. I don't need to understand. Well, you need to understand. No, you are the manager, sure, but I'm Natty Bumpercar, and this is the Bumper Podcast, and I don't- Why don't you bring your little piggy friend in here, then, and we can have a little discussion. Okay, I don't know what you're talking about, but yeah, sure, I want to- Hey, Peg, come here for a second, Rufus is just, he wants to talk to you. I want to set him straight is what I want to do. Hey, everybody, it's me, Peg, what's going on, how you doing, Bumpercar, Rufus? What are you doing in here? You know you ain't supposed to be in here, it's the Bumper Podcast, you're just hanging out, I don't know what you're doing. I don't know what he's doing here, I don't know. How you guys doing, anyway? Well, I'm not doing well at all, because- Doing fine. Just like, you just, I mean, Rufus is in here, and I don't know why he's in here, but- Get my money, is what I'm going to do. What were you even talking about? You were saying the Bumper Podcast is over, it's done? Yeah, exactly. I don't, what do you mean? What does that even mean? How can it be done? Well- It's not even, it's my show. Boys, boys, boys, I thank y'all both for coming in here, and I figured it was appropriate to your listeners to do this on the air, but what I am telling you again, emphatically, totalitarian, and stupidably, is that the Bumper Podcast is over and done with, zero more coming. No. Ever. This news to me- No. Dun-ska-doodle, dun-ska-deedle, dun-ska-goodbye Bumper Podcast. I don't understand why you, what you doing, Rufus? This is your only, we're your only client, and why would you take away the only show that we got? Don't, don't even listen to him, he doesn't, Rufus, just stop. I don't mean, I don't know what you're coming in here for, and I don't know what you're talking about, but- My friend, this is what we call a- What's that? Contract right here. I didn't, do we have a, we have a contract? You have a contract. Okay, I didn't know we have a contract. Did I sign that? You signed it. Yeah, you did. What's it say? What do you know? Well- All right, tell me. According to this legal document, you're in breach of contract. I know, I have a pig. Specifically because your little friend, Pig, there- That's me. Signed on the dotted line, Aloysius J. Pig. That's my name, yeah, yeah. Now, he would be doing the Bumper Podcast. I guess, as his show, and no other shows at all, my friend, so thank you, Case Closed. Have a wonderful day. But I don't understand, I mean, like, this is the show, this is the podcast that we do. This is the podcast, yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, obviously, it's the Bumper Podcast that we do all together, and I don't know what he's talking about, Bumsy. You figure it out. You're the one who can read. Wait, Pig, so did you, I mean, I'm looking at your, your signature is on there, and you did you, did you sign it? I think I might have signed it, yeah. Right now. Okay, well- With my paw. Did you read it before you signed it? I can't read, bro. I don't care. All right, I don't remember. I don't think, do you have, I don't, do you have one with my name on it? Because I just see the one contract here. Hey, well, I don't, I don't, I don't matter one bit. This is- No, but- Signed in perpetuity for all of y'all. That's a good legal word. So, Rick includes robot, that includes doodle poodle, that includes y'all. Y'all little babies, that includes- Everybody? Every single character that's ever been on this show- Everybody. Forever, from the tip of time to the tip of mind. That doesn't make sense. Y'all, in your mind is what I'm saying. Okay, all right. Because you signed the contract- Pig did. Only Pig. You're in Dutch, my friend. All right. Double time Dutch. So, what show did Pig do? How did he breach the contract? In a periscope, I believe. Periscope. Periscope. I'm periscoping every day. Periscope. I'm always pig show. Yeah. What do you know? Periscope got us in trouble. What? Go, go. And so for that, he is done. What do you know? It's a song. Huh? No more bumper podcast ever. Ever? Oh, boy. What are we going to do?

    Podcast: Download | Embed

    Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | iHeartRadio | RSS | subscribe