Tag: castle

  • Bumperpodcast 117 – Draftsmans Disease

    Bumperpodcast 117 – Draftsmans Disease

    I don’t wear socks – because I’m notinto cruelty to sock animals … So – I constantly run the risk of catching Draftsmans Disease. You have been warned.

    I think that we sing a New Year’s song as well – maybe about Pig and Robot? I’m not entirely sure. Please tell us what the song was all about by sending an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com – and then we’ll all be on the same page.

    Wahoo!

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    About This Episode

    In this New Year's Eve episode of Bumperpodcast, host Natty Bumpercar kicks off 2024 with a rambling monologue about expired potatoes, restaurant policies regarding Aloysious J. Pig, and an impassioned rant against wearing socks. Natty introduces listeners to "draftsman's disease," a fictitious ailment caught from going sockless in drafty conditions. The episode features Natty's signature stream-of-consciousness comedy as he declares his anti-sock stance, arguing that wearing socks breaks up sock families. This short New Year's special showcases the absurdist humor that Bumperpodcast fans have come to love, ending with both a warning and a holiday greeting.

    Memorable Quotes

    “You know how many socks had to be put down in order for your feet to be warm? Well at least two if you've got two feet.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “If you've only got one foot then only one sock had to be put down but you know what happens then is that there's one sock who's lonely so you're breaking up sock families.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “If you do you run the risk of catching draftsman's disease. Happy new year!”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #newyear #socks #restaurants #friendship #comedy #absurdisthumor #holiday

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: should old potatoes be store-bought or should we just eat out there's probably some cheese in the fridge so yeah we should probably eat out but if we go to the restaurant then they won't let pig in and we will have to find somewhere else because we're his best friends so robot should look it up what place we'll let pig in so and we will go on to that place and we'll order and dig in how about that how about that how about that happy new year happy new year happy new year this is the last podcast that you're gonna hear of this year probably unless i get crazy or not i'm not gonna get crazier because this is the last one you're gonna hear deal with it right i mean you don't want anymore you're busy too it's a crazy time of year i just sang you a little song about disease do you know what that is that's the disease you catch when there's a draft all the time and i don't wear socks you know why because i'm anti socks because what they ever do to me that i'm gonna do you know how many socks had to be put down in order for your feet to be warm well at least two if you've got two feet if you've only got one foot then only one sock had to be put down but you know what that happens what happens then is that there's one sock who's lonely so you know you're it's you're breaking up sock families is what i'm telling you so you have to walk around sockless i don't usually get on my high horse or on my uh my my my box what kind of box is it i don't usually get on the kind of box that people get on where they're telling you what to do but in this case my friends my bumper podcast pals i'm gonna tell you what to do you you have to go sockless but be warned because if you do you run the risk of catching draftsman's disease happy new year

  • Bumperpodcast 114 – Learning, kneeling and skating!

    Bumperpodcast 114 – Learning, kneeling and skating!

    Today, we learn a word and we also learn some best practices to follow when ice skating … I don’t want to give it all away here – but – trust me when I say that this is a fun-fact-filled Bumperpodcast!

    Do you have any facts that you’d like to share with us? Email them to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com – and you will be more awsome than ever.

    Yee-haw!

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    About This Episode

    In episode 114 of Bumperpodcast, host Natty Bumpercar finds himself without a chair and kneeling while recording. He goes on a hilarious tangent about almost inventing a new word for being on one's knees, only to realize "kneeling" already exists. Natty then shares the joys and perils of winter at headquarters, where the castle's moat freezes over for ice skating races. He offers sage advice about racing dragons on ice and warns about the dangers of moat monsters and disgusting moat water. This episode showcases Natty's signature rambling comedy style as he turns simple observations into absurd adventures.

    Memorable Quotes

    “I got so excited because I thought that I just invented something where we needed a new word in the lexicon… it's kneeling but I guess it's already there man what a letdown.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “If you're ever in a race with a dragon he breathes fire and steam so let him stay in front of you for most of the race and then slip past him.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “We learned a word, kneeling, and we learned a lesson: don't skate with dragons.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #winter #iceskating #dragons #castlelife #christmas #moat #headquarters

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: well well well if it isn't the bumper podcast with me natty bumper car this is number 114 of the of the year of the day this is number 114 i'm sitting i'm sitting here i'm not sitting here i'm sit how do you i'm standing but i'm not standing because i'm on my knees what is that called i know when you sit you're on your took us when you stand you're on your feet what's it called when you're oh i'm kneeling i thought i was so literally for a second there i got so excited because i thought that i just invented something where we needed a new word in the lexicon in the language and i figured uh that in whatever book holds all the words the dictionary that maybe a bumper car would show up there and it would be like this guy invented a new word for when you're on your knees it's not sitting it's not neat uh standing it's kneeling but i guess it's already there man what a letdown you would have been part of history today bumper podcast no but so i'm kneeling as the kids are evidently calling it these days right now because my chair is gone i don't have a chair i don't have a stool i don't have a bench i ain't got nothing i don't even have my two front teeth because i for christmas and evidently if you already have something and then you uh ask for it well it it cancels it out and then you get you get a piece of coal which don't tell anybody but that's part of my plan i'm really angling for the piece of coal because it's very chilly in headquarters can i tell you bumper podcast that the best part of living in headquarters which is a castle obviously is that we have a moat and so when winter comes around the moat freezes over and it's a big circle and we just get to get our skates on and just do laps and laps and laps and laps all the way around headquarters it's so much fun we have races and uh you know prizes and stuff the worst part is if you're ever in a race with a dragon he breathes fire and steam so uh you know let him stay in front of you and he'll be fine and he'll be fine and he'll be fine and he'll be fine and he'll be fine and for most of the race and then slip past him because if he's behind you he's gonna huff and puff and you're gonna fall through the uh the ice into the moat and then you gotta contend with the moat monster and there is nothing more disgusting than moat water i mean that's why when it's frozen over it's okay but when you're in there and you have skates on you know just like i'm swimming but i can't swim because i have skates on it's gross so don't skate on a moat with a dragon when he's behind you you learned a lesson today listen to this we learned a word caneling and we learned a lesson don't skate with dragons

  • Bumperpodcast 68 – Reintroduction!

    Bumperpodcast 68 – Reintroduction!

    Allow us to reintroduce ourselves! Everyone is onboard for the inaugural Bumperpodcast at New Headquarters … All excited to tell you about the fun new stuff that is going on and …

    Then – no one shows up … except for … Well – I’m not going to give the secret away here – now am I?!

    We might even learn how to spell a little bit on today’s Bumperpodcast!

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    About This Episode

    In episode 68, Natty Bumpercar welcomes listeners to the brand new Bumperpodcast headquarters after taking just one week off to move. Natty hilariously spells out his entire name and describes how moving boxes have been repurposed into castles and rocket ships throughout the new space. Despite planning to have the entire cast present for the big headquarters debut—including Mott the Sheep, Doodle Poodle, Baby Emerson, Aloysious J. Pig, Yetkin the Moose, and Cinnamon the Horse—everyone mysteriously disappears. Only Robot remains, and he reveals a mischievous secret about why everyone else is absent. This chaotic and funny episode captures the improvisational spirit of the show during a major transition.

    Memorable Quotes

    “we aren't fooling around we took old headquarters we put it into boxes we moved to new headquarters and now we've got castles and rocket ships”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “i told him that you only wanted me on the show that you only wanted robot the show because everybody loves”

    — Robot

    Topics: #newheadquarters #moving #spelling #castles #rocketships #robot #mystery

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar, Robot

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah this is the bumper podcast and we're in new headquarters it's so exciting everybody cheer it's uh where i thought i'd gathered everybody up i everybody anybody i don't need them i had so let me here's what we're gonna do we decided well we decided everyone was gonna be here and that didn't work out but i'm in control of this part so what i'm gonna do is i'm gonna reintroduce myself my name is natty bumper car natty bumper car n-a-t-t-y b-u-m-p hold on i'm supposed to write this down anybody got any scratch paper n-a-t-t-y b-u-m-p e bump b-u-m-p bump e i just had to break it down b-u-m p-e-r bumper bumper yeah bumper car b-u-m-p-e-r-c-a-r that's my name natty bumper car and you guys are here at the bumper podcast which is great because we haven't seen you in like well i mean we took a week off it wasn't that crazy i moved to whole headquarters and all we did was take a week off what i mean this is devotion this determination this is kind of crazy time is what it is what have you guys been doing in the last week we've been i mean we've got boxes everywhere which is fun because you know what you do with boxes you take them and then you put them together and you build castles so there's actually we have castles inside of headquarters and rocket ships yes like really what we've done is i mean we aren't fooling around we took old headquarters we put it into boxes we moved to new headquarters and now we've got a new headquarters and now we've got a new headquarters and now we've got a new headquarters and now we've got castles and rocket ships these things don't normally go together all that well rockets and castle ships wait a minute anyway so what i was saying was i had everyone i had mott the sheep he was here he was gonna say hi i had doodle poodle he had kid i mean he was walking around uh had baby emerson uh pig was here uh yetkin the moose cinnamon the horse i mean like the place was packed full of people and i don't know where anybody went to i do i do hi robot how's it going well you better tell the secret really quick because the show's running out really soon and everybody's gonna want to hear your secret is well do you know where everyone is of course i do

    Robot: i told him that you only wanted me on the show that you only wanted robot the show because everybody loves