Tag: Bumperpodcast

  • Bumperpodcast #357 – Emotions

    Bumperpodcast #357 – Emotions

    If talking is therapy, then – this is something else, entirely. Natty brings on his two favorite guests to talk about emotions – and, other than a couple of flare-ups, things proceed nicely – which means that nothing gets broken. Listen – Learn – Love!

    The Bumperpodcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp around Headquarters, in Coffee-Can Alley, with Natty Bumpercar and his entire gaggle of pals!

    You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com, or to call in and leave a message – 646.847.7976. We’re here and we’re listening!

    Go like our Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/TheBumperpodcast/)!!

    About This Episode

    In this heartwarming episode of Bumperpodcast, host Natty Bumpercar returns from an unexplained absence and teams up with two special young helpers, Emerson and Oliver, to explore the world of emotions. The trio plays an emotion game where they practice expressing feelings like happy, sad, mad, and scared, though things don't always go as planned. The conversation takes delightful detours into topics like pancakes that taste like eggs, Pokemon characters Totodile and Mudkip, a mysterious haunted bench in their backyard, and the difference between play dates and hangouts. The episode showcases the improvisational charm and authentic family dynamics that make Bumperpodcast so endearing, ending with an attempt to get the brothers to express love for each other.

    Memorable Quotes

    “I don't know at what age it stops becoming a play date and it becomes just like a hangout. You think 10?”

    — Emerson

    “We can record for 10 days if you want to… Just say it at the same time. You don't even have to say the names.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “Kids talking about emotions. This is gold. This is podcast gold.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #emotions #feelings #family #brotherhood #pokemon #childhood #fear #happiness

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: hey everybody welcome to the bumper podcast i'm sorry i wasn't here last week i don't know where i was probably in a submarine or on top of a mountain or maybe in space i can't remember it's just such been crazy times lately but today i have two special helpers and we're gonna play a game and we're gonna talk about emotions and what is that do you guys even know what emotions are yes no oh well then this is gonna be perfect so let's see emerson do you tell me what you think emotions are they're feelings yeah that's perfect description oliver does that make sense to you yes okay so what i have is a list that i have made in my head of emotions and when i say the emotion i'll say a name and then i want you to hear to do your impression of an emotion okay okay so we'll start off with happy oliver can you be happy you can't just smile you have to actually say something because it's a podcast happy that's you're happy okay so uh emerson you want to try happy you're not happy no okay we'll see if we can get you around i'll do happy i am so happy that i'm hanging out with my two buds right now see that's happy i'm happy um let's try another emotion um because that one didn't seem to work super well how about um oh i've got a good emotion hungry you're so hungry are you just gonna say the emotion but wait a minute is it is hungry even an emotion

    Unknown: no i don't even know what do you need to change

    Natty Bumpercar: because sometimes it changes yeah so hungry is actually not an emotion guys the emotions that

    Unknown: we're going to go through there's like happy they're sad and mad yeah sick is not an emotion

    Natty Bumpercar: isn't that strange it's a physical manifestation are you hungry right now it's weird i feel like somebody made daddy pancakes this morning they taste like eggs well no mine didn't they didn't actually taste like eggs they tasted better this morning if you want some shining nice real нак 나와어요 They tasted like vanilla and almond because Daddy is a master pancake maker.

    Unknown: Not anymore.

    Natty Bumpercar: What? What happened? You don't like my pancakes anymore?

    Unknown: I love them. They taste like egg.

    Natty Bumpercar: Well, the next time I will not put an egg in even if the recipe calls for an egg. I apologize.

    Unknown: Put peanut butter in it.

    Natty Bumpercar: This time? I thought the last time I put peanut butter in it you did not like it.

    Unknown: I did.

    Natty Bumpercar: You did?

    Unknown: Uh-huh.

    Natty Bumpercar: Let's see. What emotion were you this morning when you tasted my pancake? Were you sad?

    Unknown: No.

    Natty Bumpercar: Oh, so…

    Unknown: I was depressed.

    Natty Bumpercar: Oh, no. That sounds very sad. Holly, have you ever been sad before? No.

    Unknown: He's lying.

    Natty Bumpercar: He's lying. Oh, that sounds like you're mad now. Holly, can you be mad at the microphone? No, not monster. I don't want you to touch the microphone. Mad! Oh, gosh, Ollie, you seem so angry. Emmy, sweetie, Emmy. I'm mad! Why are you so mad? Oh, my gosh.

    Unknown: I'm not mad, actually.

    Natty Bumpercar: Oh, you're just pretending because I forgot we're playing the game. Has Daddy ever been mad?

    Unknown: Yeah, yeah, yes.

    Natty Bumpercar: Emerson, what does it sound like when Daddy's mad?

    Unknown: I don't know.

    Natty Bumpercar: Is it like, Emerson! Like that? No. Emerson! Ooh, yeah, that was pretty good. Sometimes I go, Poppy! And sometimes I'm sad when I do this. I go, Poppy! And sometimes you… Please go to sleep. I'm so tired, Poppy.

    Unknown: I don't know what you're doing. She has to sleep on the ground.

    Natty Bumpercar: Okay, so if Poppy is on you, then you make that weird noise and then you tell her to sleep on the ground, or does she know what that means?

    Unknown: I don't know what it is. I just push!

    Natty Bumpercar: Huh? You push her?

    Unknown: Gently!

    Natty Bumpercar: Okay, gently. Gently, gently. Emmy. What about, uh, we're at four minutes, so we only have a couple more minutes left. So, Emmy, have you ever been… Uh, so we did… So you've never been happy?

    Unknown: No.

    Natty Bumpercar: You're not happy right now? No. Because we're going to go someplace?

    Unknown: I know we're going somewhere, but that's the only time I'm happy.

    Natty Bumpercar: Wait, the only time you're happy is when you're going someplace? Mm-hmm. What about, is there other times you're happy?

    Unknown: When I get stuff.

    Natty Bumpercar: Oh, when you get stuff and when you go places. So are you not happy just in general? Oh, man. What about you, Ollie? Are you ever just, just happy?

    Unknown: Yeah.

    Natty Bumpercar: Like, when you wake up, are you happy?

    Unknown: Yeah.

    Natty Bumpercar: When you are in the shower, are you happy? No.

    Unknown: Yes.

    Natty Bumpercar: It's like Emerson, you love the shower.

    Unknown: I know.

    Natty Bumpercar: But you're not happy?

    Unknown: I was talking to Ollie.

    Natty Bumpercar: Oh, well, Ollie is more happy when he's in what? The bath. The bath. That's right.

    Unknown: I hate the bath.

    Natty Bumpercar: You don't like the bath? Why is that? Shh. Oh, really? Really? Because of…

    Unknown: Shh. Shh. We both like Snake and Turtle.

    Natty Bumpercar: Snake and Turtle, you guys do like.

    Unknown: Wait, what is it again? I forgot.

    Natty Bumpercar: No, it's not Snake and Turtle, is it?

    Unknown: Oh, no. It's Toad-a-Dile and Mudkip. He's Toad-a-Dile and Mudkip.

    Natty Bumpercar: Wait, what?

    Unknown: Toad-a-Dile and Mudkip, the Pokemon.

    Natty Bumpercar: What's Turtle-down?

    Unknown: Toad-a-Dile.

    Natty Bumpercar: Oh, Turtle-dile and…

    Unknown: Toad-a-Dile.

    Natty Bumpercar: What is it?

    Unknown: Toad-a-Dile.

    Natty Bumpercar: Toad-a-Dile and Mudkip? I like Snake and Turtle better. I don't know why, because it sounds weirder to me, but…

    Unknown: No, that would… Then that would be called… No, we named it something else.

    Natty Bumpercar: Something beside Toad-a-Dile and Mudkip?

    Unknown: Yeah.

    Natty Bumpercar: Did you know in Pokemon Go the other day that there was extra Mudkip day? But I didn't see a single one. Not a single one.

    Unknown: What?

    Natty Bumpercar: Ollie, can you think of any other… Is this an emotion? Scared?

    Unknown: Hmm. Scared.

    Natty Bumpercar: Have you guys ever been scared?

    Unknown: Yes. Yes.

    Natty Bumpercar: Emerson, what's the most scariest thing ever to you?

    Unknown: Me.

    Natty Bumpercar: Okay. You do not like to be alone, right? Same here. What about… Well, what about this? I'm going to make it even scarier. What if you're alone and the light goes off? That's scary, right?

    Unknown: Mm-hmm.

    Natty Bumpercar: What about if you're alone and the light goes off because it's a thunderstorm and the power goes out? Man, this sounds terrifying.

    Unknown: No, this is scarier. You're out in the woods at night.

    Natty Bumpercar: What? You've never been out in the woods at night. How do you know if that's scary?

    Unknown: What about the creepy bench?

    Natty Bumpercar: Oh, talk about the creepy bench. That's in our backyard.

    Unknown: Yeah, football's gone.

    Natty Bumpercar: Football's gone?

    Unknown: What do you mean? Done forever.

    Natty Bumpercar: Football's done forever? Yeah.

    Unknown: Why? I'm not sure what it means. I can't even look for it when I'm in the kitchen.

    Natty Bumpercar: The football's hiding?

    Unknown: Yeah.

    Natty Bumpercar: So wait, so you and your friend were playing football in the backyard.

    Unknown: Yeah. No, we were just punting it.

    Natty Bumpercar: Yeah, so you punted it. You were punting with flip-flops on yesterday. I think your friend was kind of impressed. He was, because he, I even heard him. He was like, Emmer, be careful with your foot. And you were like, I got this. I'm a punting fool. I think you're happy when you play football. Mm-hmm. Or when you play sports or when you're having like a play date, like a hangout. Yeah.

    Unknown: Why is it called a play date?

    Natty Bumpercar: I don't know why it's called a play date. I was just, did you hear right before I said it that I kind of paused? Mm-hmm. Because I don't know at what age it stops becoming a play date and it becomes just like a hangout. You think 10? Okay, so we're a few months, yeah, we're a few months away from that. But for now, we can still call it a play date, right? Mm-hmm. And then at 10, we're going to be like, this is officially a hangout. Yes. Okay. So Ollie, do you know anything about the Haunted Bench?

    Unknown: Yes.

    Natty Bumpercar: Can you tell me about it? It sounds really scary.

    Unknown: Oh my gosh. Ollie got possessed.

    Natty Bumpercar: Ollie got possessed? Yeah. What possessed Ollie to get possessed? What? A lizard in our yard?

    Unknown: It was.

    Natty Bumpercar: Oh my goodness. What other animals have we seen in our yard this week?

    Unknown: A snake. No.

    Natty Bumpercar: This week? No, we saw a?

    Unknown: Why is it like?

    Natty Bumpercar: Huh? What like? That's the sun. Sun. Oh. Mr. Golden Sun. You remember that song? No. Ollie, do you remember that song? Can you sing it?

    Unknown: No. I don't even remember anything about it. She does.

    Natty Bumpercar: I bet you do. And you know what would make me happy? Hearing you sing that song.

    Unknown: No.

    Natty Bumpercar: Because I like it when you sing.

    Unknown: It's not in public.

    Natty Bumpercar: It's not in public. We're in our studio right now.

    Unknown: Sure.

    Natty Bumpercar: Oh, that's true. People are going to hear it. Can I sing it? Mr. Sun. Sun. Mr. Golden Sun. Okay, that's good. Okay. Uh, so let's see. We did, we did fear. We did scared. We did happy. We did sad. Uh, Ollie, Ollie. I want more. Ollie, are you ever sad? I know you get mad. Who do you get mad at, Ollie? You can't just point. Emerson. Why do you get mad at Emerson? Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. This is like a group therapy session all of a sudden. Why is Emerson a big jerk? Do you think is he just being a big brother or is he just being kind of mean? Oh, no, Ollie, that was not one of the answers. But you still love him to pieces, right?

    Unknown: Yeah.

    Natty Bumpercar: What? Well, now this podcast cannot end until there is mutual love all the way around.

    Unknown: It's been 10 minutes.

    Natty Bumpercar: I want to hear Emerson say, I love my brother, Ollie.

    Unknown: Ah, sorry. It's been 10 minutes.

    Natty Bumpercar: Well, we're going to be here for 10 hours if I don't get. All you have to do is say, Ollie, Ollie, you say, I love my brother, Emerson.

    Unknown: No. No.

    Natty Bumpercar: You have to say it.

    Unknown: Never.

    Natty Bumpercar: Emerson, you have to say, I love my brother, Oliver. Ah, you guys. We can record for 10 days if you want to. No. Okay, let's do this. Just say it at the same time. You don't even have to say the names. Just say, I.

    Unknown: I.

    Natty Bumpercar: Love.

    Unknown: No.

    Natty Bumpercar: Say love.

    Unknown: No. Like.

    Natty Bumpercar: Fine. I like. Can you say, I like, Emerson? Say, I. Like. Like. My. My. Brother. Ow. Yay. I was squeezing you out. Guys, thanks for talking about emotions. Do you feel like we accomplished anything? What did I forget? An emotion? Love? Oh, that's a feeling. I can talk about love all day. Because I have my two friends here. My two boys. Ow. My firstborn love and my secondborn love. And all I need is Poppy and all the love is complete. I love my wife also, but she's not here. Oh, okay. Ow.

    Unknown: This is going to be past the closing.

    Natty Bumpercar: That's okay. People love this type of episode. Kids talking about emotions. This is gold. This is podcast gold. Don't let me listen. Okay. Uh, let's see here. Oliver, go upstairs and get your shoes. Emerson, get your stuff ready. Listen, Bumper Podcast. I feel like we can't do that right now. Yeah, I know. I feel like we talked about a lot today, right? We talked about being sad. And now there's a fight. Hey, Emerson. Oliver, can you just come here? Oliver. Emerson, you do your own thing. All right. Ollie. What just happened?

    Unknown: I was going up and Emerson picked me up.

    Natty Bumpercar: He picked you up? Is he that strong? Oh, my gosh. Emerson is stronger than me. Okay. Can you say goodbye, Bumper Podcast?

    Unknown: No, I'm good.

    Natty Bumpercar: Oh, no. I don't want to end on such a sad note. Let's do a clapping song and then we can go. Clap, clap, clap your hands. I'll say it. Clap, clap, clap your hands.

    Unknown: What? What? Clap, clap, clap your hands. Clap, clap, clap, clap your hands. I forgot. Clap, clap, clap. Clap, clap, clap your hands. Clap your hands, everybody. Clap your hands. Who said that? Clap, clap, clap your hands. Come on. Now clap your hands. Okay, now you're smiling. All right. Bye, Bumper Podcast. You are the best.

    Natty Bumpercar: And you know what, Bumper Podcast? What emotion I'm feeling right now? Happy that you're my friend.

    Unknown: Basketball. Basketball.

    Natty Bumpercar: Oh, my word.

    Unknown: Basketball.

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  • Bumperpodcast #355 – Kid Football

    Bumperpodcast #355 – Kid Football

    Natty has a couple of helpers on today’s podcast. One is a one word answer giving football star, and the other is really good at the trampoline – and running from the dog.

    The Bumperpodcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp around Headquarters, in Coffee-Can Alley, with Natty Bumpercar and his entire gaggle of pals!

    You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com, or to call in and leave a message – 646.847.7976. We’re here and we’re listening!

    Go like our Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/TheBumperpodcast/)!!

    About This Episode

    In this heartwarming family episode of Bumperpodcast, host Natty Bumpercar celebrates his son Emerson's triumphant football playoff game where he scored his first touchdown of the season, helping the previously winless Jaguars defeat the Cowboys 24-6. The episode features both of Natty's sons, with Oliver sharing his pool adventures and touching his father's heart by making him a custom mug after his original tea mug broke. The family discusses their upcoming plans to visit Time Warp Comics and see Spider-Man, while dealing with the challenges of their new 16-week-old puppy Princess Poppy. This casual, improvisational episode showcases the genuine dynamic between Natty and his children, complete with tangents about birthdays, podcasting techniques, and puppy training struggles.

    Memorable Quotes

    “Oliver did the sweetest thing in the world this week it made my heart cry a little bit… Oliver went to camp and he made me a new mug for my tea.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “Ladies and gentlemen, what you're hearing right now is the love of a father and a son over tea. Tea for me.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “You know who you are? You're my best friend.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #football #fatherhood #family #sports #children #puppies #heartwarmingmoments #flagfootball

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: Good googly moogly I was out on the field today watching some football and I want to tell you people that the world needs heroes right now and I have one of the heroes standing next to me this is the bumper sports podcast coming to you live and I'm talking about the gridiron I am talking about the trenches I am talking about the men against men fighting for inches for yards with the football ladies and gentlemen what I saw today was the pinnacle was the peak was the high point of sports entertainment in all across the land so if you know who I'm talking about and I think you do you're gonna be very excited if you don't know who I'm talking about then I'm about to educate you if you don't know nothing about football then you don't know nothing about nothing but you know who does my next guest also I forgot to say welcome to the bumper podcast what's going on my man oh hi are you kid football are you the super speeder are you the running machine oh well this is more exciting than I thought it was gonna be tell me what happened today on flag football Sunday playoff you ran the whole field so you were on one side of the field and then you ran where was it again the entire football field I am very very very impressed did you how did it feel felt good are you gonna give me one word answers for the rest of the show no oh there he goes ladies and gentlemen kid football best football play I saw all day all day you know what I'm saying all right I'm gonna hand this over now we're gonna talk to somebody else somebody also very important in my life somebody who is a trampoline wizard somebody who can run from a dog in the back of the car and run from a dog in the backyard like you don't even know what's happening like it ain't even hard at all let's and lemons and then it's a little bit right pa this is a blip blip blip blip blip ladies and gentlemen here he is Oliver Cornelius tell me what's going on what is my name my name is sporty bumper car I guess I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I didn't really think too I didn't think too hard about the I didn't think obviously I didn't think too hard about the voice because I was baby it was basically Rufus T Rufus and the name I obviously didn't think about very hard either hey everybody it's me Natty bumper car we had a big football game today with Emerson he did wonderful his team that Rufus is gone Rufus that wasn't Rufus that was sporty bumper car remember we just established that yeah usually I work that stuff out before starting the podcast today I did not do that today I did not do that today I did not do that today I did not do that today I did not I did not but Emerson so his team was the Jaguars he played flag football his team was 0 and 5 that means they had lost five games a whole season and then they're in the playoffs they're playing the Cowboys who were 1 and 4 which means they won one game lost four games and lo and behold the Jaguars came through what was the final score 24 to 6 was the final score so Emerson scored a touchdown it was his first touchdown and he was the first to score a touchdown of the season I was a very proud papa that other thing was in the preseason all right so anyway Ollie tell me about yourself what'd you do today I went to the pool you went to the you played pool no I went to the pool oh you went to the pool I see how was that good did you float on top did you sink to the bottom did you float on top or did you

    Unknown: swim a little bit did you go off the diving board the high dive I wasn't even there and you went off

    Natty Bumpercar: the high dive who protected you who saved you you don't even love me anymore you don't even need me oh thank you Oliver did the sweetest thing in the world this week it made my heart cry a little bit so what happened was I had a mug of tea it got knocked over it got cracked and broken and I was so what happened was I had a mug of tea it got knocked over it got cracked and broken and I was sad and then Oliver went to camp and he made me a new mug of tea and a new mug for my tea and what did you want to write he made me a new mug of tea and a new mug for my tea and what did you want to write you dad and what were you gonna put next to the words Oh it's but like I because I didn't have that mug we had an old mug and I added you THANK YOU standing with me and you can point the finger I through the google right there this is the

    Unknown: first one after the third the fifth and fourth are twelfth from the fourth is the number one and you're going to play a game and you're going to have a game tomorrow don't you think you're gonna play I didn't have that much time.

    Natty Bumpercar: It's okay. I loved it so much. It was the sweetest thing you've ever done in my entire life.

    Unknown: I changed it to that I love you.

    Natty Bumpercar: Aw. Ladies and gentlemen, what you're hearing right now is the love of a father and a son over tea. Tea for me. What's that? That little line right there? Whoa. Ollie, who is a professional podcaster at this point, noticed, because we do use templates for our Bumper podcast, that one of the tracks was not cleared out by our engineer, producer. I'm very sorry about that. It's okay, producer. But listen. And so he saw that there was a track coming up that was going to interfere with our vocal track, and so he quietly let me know, and we paused it and fixed it. High five. High five, Bumper podcaster. Good. Bumper podcaster. Bumper pod… Bumper… Bumper…

    Unknown: Bumper podcast group.

    Natty Bumpercar: Oh, Bumper podcast group. Bumper podcast cateers. Where are we headed to now, guys?

    Unknown: Time Warp and then the movie theater.

    Natty Bumpercar: Oh, we're headed to Time Warp Comics here in lovely Cedar Grove, New Jersey.

    Unknown: And then we're going to see Spider-Man fall from home.

    Natty Bumpercar: And then we're going to see Spider-Man fall from home. Spider-Man. Spider-Man. Spider-Man. Spider-Man.

    Unknown: That is not going to make it. That is definitely not going to cover my eyes when Spider-Man is fighting the Fire Monster.

    Natty Bumpercar: Wait, Oliver, you're too young to see Spider-Man, aren't you?

    Unknown: I'm going to cut all your hair.

    Natty Bumpercar: Emmy, stop. See, we're actually doing something. Why don't you go upstairs and get ready, and then we'll come up and get you.

    Unknown: And my dad's dad sent the Nairam some stink bombs.

    Natty Bumpercar: Yeah, it's true. I did get a bottle. I did get a box in the mail that had not only stink bombs, but emotional bombs as well. Ah.

    Unknown: What?

    Natty Bumpercar: What? What does that even mean? No. Emotional. That's what I said.

    Unknown: Are you going to use them?

    Natty Bumpercar: Do you know whose birthday is this week, Ollie?

    Unknown: Emerson's.

    Natty Bumpercar: Huh?

    Unknown: Emerson's?

    Natty Bumpercar: Is it Emerson's birthday this week?

    Unknown: I have zero idea.

    Natty Bumpercar: You have zero idea whose birthday it is. That's interesting. Let's see if we can find your brother. Hey, Emerson. Are you around? Do you have any idea? So we're coming up. Whose birthday is next in our family?

    Unknown: I think it's Emerson's.

    Natty Bumpercar: It's whose? It's mine. It's my birthday. When is it? Do you know? No idea?

    Unknown: No idea.

    Natty Bumpercar: Ollie has zero idea. Well, guys, funny thing. To get these tickets to see Spider-Man, you actually have to know when my birthday is. So I guess it's today. Is it really? No, it's not today. When is it? I'm not telling anybody. You know what, Bumper Podcast Cateers? No, this is what's living right now. You love me more than my own children. On my phone, I replaced the picture of my children and put my dog, Princess Poppy, on there. Even though she doesn't sleep. Even though she bit Emerson's arm today. Because she's a beast.

    Unknown: And she bites me.

    Natty Bumpercar: She bites Ollie all the time. We are in that biting puppy phase. And it's not super pleasant. The what?

    Unknown: Sometimes a kicker.

    Natty Bumpercar: What?

    Unknown: Sometimes a kicker.

    Natty Bumpercar: A kicker?

    Unknown: I sometimes, I kick.

    Natty Bumpercar: No! You're not supposed to do that. That's bad. That's mean.

    Unknown: Wow.

    Natty Bumpercar: Ladies and gentlemen, we… We've been doing this for a long time. Do not. We love our dog very much. And she's 16 weeks old.

    Unknown: We've been doing this for a long time.

    Natty Bumpercar: We've been doing it for 8 minutes and 46 seconds. Should we wrap up? Should we quit? Should we go?

    Unknown: We should never quit.

    Natty Bumpercar: We should never quit. Ladies and gentlemen, this is the 24-7, all-year-round, 365-days-a-year bumper podcast. It's a live stream. It's going to be on for the rest of your life. Please listen. Please like. Please subscribe. You are amazing. Huh? Okay. Oh, wait. We're going to get another friend over. I thought that was a pretty good out. But evidently, Ollie didn't think so. So he's going to go over into… To the basement here at headquarters and find a new friend. Oh. Hey, puppy dog. Who are you? Shrug. The puppy dog shrugged at me. Okay. Bye, puppy dog. Okay. Go away. You're sullying our beautiful podcast. So, Emmer is a touchdown scorer. Ollie is a trampoline monster. And Ollie is a trampoline monster. And I am Natty Bumpercar. And you, you know who you are? You're my best friend. Bumper podcast! Yes! This is what I mean!

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  • Bumperpodcast #334 – The FLOOD

    Bumperpodcast #334 – The FLOOD

    Headquarters has flooded – and not with emotions – but, with disgusting water… Join for some lamenting from the crew – and see how well your empathy muscles are working.

    The Bumperpodcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp around Headquarters, in Coffee-Can Alley, with Natty Bumpercar and his entire gaggle of pals!

    You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com, or to call in and leave a message – 646.847.7976. We’re here and we’re listening!

    Go like our Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/TheBumperpodcast/)!!

     

    About This Episode

    In this emotional episode of Bumperpodcast, Natty Bumpercar recounts the harrowing experience of catastrophic flooding at his house. After five inches of rain in 30 minutes, Natty, his wife, and the puppet crew including Aloysious J. Pig, Rufus T. Rufus, Doodle Poodle, and a newly voice-updated Robot battled rising water for hours. The episode details their desperate three-hour bucket brigade moving nearly 2,000 gallons of water, a failed sump pump, and the heartbreaking aftermath of losing possessions. Natty shares raw emotions about dealing with the disaster while offering humor through the puppet characters' reactions, from Pig's tiny bucket contributions to Rufus's obsession with legal documentation.

    Memorable Quotes

    “I actually grabbed a very tiny bucket because you know I'm just a little pig with little hooves and so I can't move a lot of water but I was there to offer support to everybody.”

    — Aloysious J. Pig

    “You know what makes me keep going? I'm pointing at you Bumperpodcast caters because you're my pals you keep me dry except for my eyes because sometimes I do cry a little bit.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “Hey everybody you want to go to my new restaurant? It's called Slop House and Stink Water.”

    — Aloysious J. Pig

    Topics: #flooding #homedisaster #family #resilience #insurance #emergency #exhaustion

    Featuring: Rufus T. Rufus, Doodle Poodle, Natty Bumpercar, Aloysious J. Pig

    Full Transcript

    Unknown: Oh The floods the floods the floods the floods

    Rufus T. Rufus: I am your lawyer Rufus T Rufus I was been wondering if you have any Documentation maybe a stacks of paper stacks upon stacks upon stacks upon stacks that you might have put your pronometer on your signature at the bottom of which would indicate that there perhaps will be some coverage Situation as the one that we are currently finding ourselves in

    Doodle Poodle: I think I What in the what?

    Natty Bumpercar: Robot can help me No Okay, first things first Rufus I will get to you in a second I'm sorry that I'm crying, but I'm in an upsetting situation second thing more important thing Not really, but kind of robot you sound completely different. What happened to you?

    Doodle Poodle: Somebody completely

    Aloysious J. Pig: updated my vocal Chips and so long Kind of sound like this

    Natty Bumpercar: No Stop stop stop. Okay. Thanks. What no, oh my gosh Okay, I haven't heard you on the podcast in like two years and now you have a completely different voice and it freaks me out And I'm not a fan of it but more importantly I think we should talk about what happened in our house last week because it's a very sad thing and it keeps happening and why does it keep happening and I just

    Aloysious J. Pig: Hey everybody, it's me Aloysius J. Pig what bumper cars having a tough time talking about articulating Of course is that we had a flood in our house It was an epic flood out in front of our house The road was off what and a half deep like literally I couldn't even walk in it or it's over my belly button my piggy belly Button and no one wants to see that believe you me now the river It's not even a river There's a little stream of runoff stream across the road wind up 10 feet and it became part of the road Holy cannoli right

    Doodle Poodle: Did somebody say cannoli. err err err it's me dildo poodle And I was wondering if anybody knows where this water came from Because I don't like to do đil dildos water it's not a fun thing for me to draw okay thanks hi doodle poodle hi pig hi okay everybody

    Natty Bumpercar: everybody's here great listen i'm gonna need a list from all of you of the stuff that you had that got messed up in the flood so that i can i have to give it to the insurance guy and anyway here's what happened bumper podcast we had crazy storms last saturday night and we got like five inches of rain in like 30 minutes something's in just doesn't happen type of thing and there was all this water in front of the house i think pig was talking about the street it was like a foot and a half deep and then the backyard just started filling up with water filling up with water and then there was like a river to the side of our house like it was just like water everywhere and we were watching it and then i went downstairs and i was like okay sump pump's working we're okay if you don't know a sump pump is a little hole in the corner of your basement if you think you might get water and you try to divert the water there so that a little pump which is down in the hole and the hole is called a sump don't know why but that little pump will then pump the water out to wherever you want it to go our little pipe goes out to the street the street that was underwater so the little pump it couldn't do it it couldn't push the water out into the river out there and so it started to back up right okay that's terrifying and then you turn and you look to the back of the house and you see a little pipe and it's like a little pipe and it's like a little house and there are two sinks there right by our washer and dryer and those started to fill up and not slowly like they really they were like water and we were like okay what do we do so we all

    Aloysious J. Pig: grabbed buckets i actually grabbed a very tiny bucket because you know i'm just a little pig with little hooves and so i can't move a lot of water but i was there to offer support to everybody and to really cheer the team on you know and so i was there to offer support to everybody and to know because i didn't want all that water to go everywhere i get allergies i get mold affliction i

    Rufus T. Rufus: don't want none of that now excuse me aloysius i heard you get the mold affliction i believe in my briefcase that i have some sort of documentation that i might need you to sign which will go pro facto ipso facto into the folder the dossier if you will to the loyification to make sure that any of your ailments are prescribed and entraved in a legal fashion you understand what i'm saying he fine whatever uh so

    Natty Bumpercar: the water started coming up through the sink and we all like i had two big five gallon buckets and my wife had a five gallon and like we're just running them up the stairs as fast as we can but by the time it takes us to get upstairs which i'm talking maybe a minute maybe you know like whatever it's not not much time and we're throwing the water out into the yard and we run back down getting it throw the water like up and down up and down for three hours we did this and so we were trying to figure out if we were doing 10 gallons at a time and so she was doing five so i was probably doing let's say i did 40 buckets in an hour so three hours 40 80 120 so that's 1200 gallons of water that i moved and she probably moved about six five about 500 so we're almost at two thousand gallons seventeen hundred whatever a lot of water we were running out and like the floor was getting slippery so you you get so tired and exhausted and you're trying to move all this water you get to the top of the stairs and you slip and fall and then more water would go everywhere it was a nightmare and we couldn't keep up with all the water that was coming out of the sink and so then that's just pouring into the house and pouring into the house and then the sump was over overloaded right it couldn't do anything it was trying to push the water out and it couldn't and then i kind of i didn't know what i just kind of i said i don't know if this sump pump is working and so i just shoved my hand in there and all the stuff that had been coming in through the sink was clogging the sump so i had to like clean it out with my hand right then luckily we had a friend who's a fireman and i called him and i was just like do you have they have these submersible pumps that you can put in for stuff like this and he happened to have one it was a war zone outside of my house there's like just dirt and rocks everywhere and limbs and just fire department and police everywhere and it was a nightmare city right i got the pump i got it home and we put it in and we're still like you know pushing water out getting the water out just bone tired and then

    Rufus T. Rufus: you know finally we were good for the night now when you say you was good for the night is that good in quotations i'm assuming and i'm hoping that you were able to take some sort of a shower something i wouldn't want you getting into that bed of yours all full of stink water and yucky times like that what's

    Aloysious J. Pig: stink water i never heard of stink water i feel like that's something that i could really market and sell to the pig population like hey everybody you want to go to my uh my new restaurant it's called slop house and stink water i don't know it just sounds like something that we could probably you know market put a tag on put a price on put a shell on get it on get it on you know what i'm saying like that and that's our commercial now we got a commercial we got a brand name we got a product we're going to the top with

    Natty Bumpercar: this when i feel like huh well okay so whatever so we went to bed yes i was able to take a shower thank you very much for asking rufus even though it's kind of creepy uh because we were discussed i was disgusting i was so i was covered in just horrible nastiness and i passed out at like 10 30 so tired then 4 a.m comes and the uh i went downstairs at 1 30 just because i was kind of shell shocked and i was terrified i was like i'm gonna make sure that the water's gone water was fine no water some pump was working went back to sleep 4 a.m the wife's like it came back and so we run downstairs and i was like in a dream state i was so beat up tired and i got downstairs and we had another six inches so the first time we got like 15 inches right the second time we got six inches uh luckily we were able to save the water heater and the uh furnace barely like by an eighth of an inch which is not very much we had to have the firemen come the policemen they came and they checked it out to make sure the pilot light wasn't uh off or whatever because then you got just gas coming into your house and then your house can blow up which i didn't i don't want my house to blow up and um the policeman when he came i forgot i was on the top of my steps and it didn't even register in my brain but i was talking to him he was down on the on the sidewalk and i was talking to him eye to eye and then he got up on the steps next to me he was probably seven foot four he was very tall and i was so tired and my brain just didn't know and i went wow you're you're really tall huh and he was just like looked at me like what do you what do you what do you want what are you talking to me for and i was like i don't know you're in my house this is weird i'm tired anyway we come downstairs and he was like why did you call and i was like i thought i was supposed to call because i called 911 and he was just like is it an emergency and i was like yeah my basement's flooded and you know because the last time five years ago our basement flooded for completely different reasons we had an oil tank in the draw under the driveway when we bought the house and when they removed it they excavated which means take out a lot of dirt right because there was leaky oil so they had to fix it they filled all that in with uh gravel but they didn't cap it off they didn't put new uh driveway on top of it for like two months and the water came in that way so this is a completely different situation but we've had floods before and that time it was right after we moved in and so we were using the basement as kind of a staging area and it was really that time was so heartbreaking because we lost everything we lost like all of our wedding pictures and just old mementos and so so much art and stuff and it was it was terrible this time it was terrible also but just for different reasons just for the exhaustion of it like did we lose stuff yes you know we lost a big pile of stuff there was a crib there was a vacuum there was this there was that whatever just stuff um you know you just kind of take pictures of and throw away but it's just it's more the mental anguish of it and then i was talking to somebody and i joke you not this was his reaction to it and it was somebody in a position of power and he went well i don't understand why didn't you just fix it this is like this is not a question that you ask of someone when they're going through a tragedy and bumper podcast caters this was a tragedy this was a horrible miserable bear in mind there are people who have it much worse than we do that did not make it out like their whole houses are wrecked like we got off fairly easy fairly well thank goodness right but there are some people who didn't but he didn't know that and i was like so affected by that and i was like i was like i was like i was like i was like i was like i was like offended i was just like all right and i just had to walk away because i was just like i don't even want to have a conversation with this person because i'm already tired enough but you know what makes me keep going you know what makes me happy i got you know what i'm doing right now i'm pointing at you i'm pointing at you bumper podcast caters because you're my pals you keep me dry except for my eyes because sometimes sometimes i do cry a little bit thank you so much have the best day

    Unknown: and thank you for watching you

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  • Bumperpodcast #325 – Invisalign

    Bumperpodcast #325 – Invisalign

    Here it is – the new podcast that everyone is talking about. The Bumperpodcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp around Headquarters, in Coffee-Can Alley, with Natty Bumpercar and his entire gaggle of pals!

    Holy cow! It is episode number 325. What a milestone! But – wait. Does everyone sound a little bit odd to you?! Listen to see!

    You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com, or to call in and leave a message – 646.847.7976. We’re here and we’re listening!

    Go like our Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/TheBumperpodcast/)!!

     

    About This Episode

    In episode 325 of Bumperpodcast, Natty Bumpercar and the entire cast grapple with an unexpected side effect of their new Invisalign aligners. What was supposed to be an invisible teeth-straightening solution becomes a comedy of dental denial as Natty, Producer, Rufus T. Rufus, Doodle Poodle, and Robot all insist they sound exactly the same while clearly struggling to speak normally. Natty shares the trials of constant teeth brushing, living on water, and the horror of discovering that "buttons" are actually sharp epoxy spikes attached to your teeth. The episode celebrates the show's milestone 325th episode while the cast navigates lisps, extra spittle, and the realization that their voices have definitely changed, despite what the dentist promised.

    Memorable Quotes

    “They call them buttons which sounds adorable I would love to have buttons on my teeth… what buttons turn out to be are these little stalactites stalagmite sharp pointy just spikes of epoxy on your teeth.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “This will be known as the period of the Bumper Podcast where everybody sounded a little bit off. A little bit interesting.”

    — Rufus T. Rufus

    “Robot, you sound like you're from either the future or space or robot heaven… It sounds like your mouth is full of angel horns.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #invisalign #dentalhealth #self-consciousness #podcastmilestone #comedy #contracts #voiceacting

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar, Producer, Rufus T. Rufus, Doodle Poodle, Robot

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: uh hey hey everybody it's me it's me nary bumper car and um so this is episode this is episode 325 and um that's huge that's a big episode what yeah no i i don't think i'm i'm not talking different at all why would you ask that what well listen no it's just that guys i got um braces invisalign i got invisalign they're not braces i guess they're like plastic trays that go onto my mouth and um i got it last well three days ago and um everything is weird and everything is different and i don't eat food and i only drink water and um now i'm super self-conscious about how i talk and um yeah it's pretty awesome you know it's good why why would i get it well because i had some teeth that were cracked because something like the way that my jaw was setting or sitting or something and uh it was also there's some weird gum stuff happening i don't really understand it i just kind of go to the dentist and i they say things and i shake my head sure sure but i was like hey guys this isn't gonna make me sound any different is it and they were like no of course it's not gonna make you sound any different and i was like good because i you know what i talk i talk for a living i just kind of i do i love talking talking so i just wanted to make sure i didn't i didn't sound any

    Producer: different but um i was worried about because i got the invisalign too if it would make me sound any different than it uh but they said it doesn't affect your voice at all so it's good you know it's good it's a little bit tight on my teeth but uh it's overall i think it's a pretty good experience so uh yeah you know do you think i sound different my teeth are gonna be nice and straight no i don't think i sound different i think you sound exactly the same okay okay i wasn't sure all right am i right come on yeah i think you sound

    Natty Bumpercar: exactly the same too like i don't hear any difference in how you're speaking at all so this is working oh

    Rufus T. Rufus: hello there boom this is very difficult hold on a second let me just uh adjust my my jill but here everyone this is Rofresh teeth Rofresh and uh according to the contract i was able to get uh five invisaligns for the price of one and i made them sign and seal and deliver a piece of paper understand because i am the lawyer for here at headquarters for the bumper podcast i made them sign a letter that stated that no one's voice would sound different because of course we are in the business of making noises with our mouths you understand podcasting you understand standoff comedy you understand comedy you understand comedy you understand comedy you cartoons, and whatnot, such as that. There's a lot more spittle in my mouth, is what I've noticed. There's a lot more jumble, you know, just jumbles and jambles and such as that. Episode, excuse me, I do not like to pucker up on the microphone like that. Episode 325, Natty Bumpergut, congratulations for making it to episode 325. We have brought you this, hold on a second, gift that I will purchase, that I will find, hold on one second.

    Natty Bumpercar: Guys, I can't even believe you guys got me a gift that I, I do think, I mean, like, to my ear, it sounds a little, a little bit different.

    Producer: I mean, maybe it's just ghosts. Yeah, right? Just like a little,

    Natty Bumpercar: just a tiny bit different. I don't know. It might just be, I might be stuffed up or something.

    Producer: Well, it's terrible. Problems are ceasing outside right now. So it could be dead, of course. But, you know, what Rufus was talking about with the present, we, you know, all came together. We all gathered together in the break room and we were like, that's a lot of episodes, 325 episodes. And so, you know, we thought, oh, hey, we're saved by the door.

    Doodle Poodle: It's a big little problem. It's a little problem. Oh, I can't, I don't know. I can't. I also got a universal life. So it's in my mouth. And they're not a sponsor. So I don't think we should keep saying their name. But I'm very excited, you said, to have straight teeth. That look like little pearls in my mouth. And I just wonder, I can't even talk. You know what I'm gonna do? Is I'm gonna go over, it's me, doodle poodle. I couldn't say it before. But now I'm able to say it a little bit easier. So anyway, I'm gonna probably make a doodle. Something exciting. Like somebody who has pearls in their mouth instead of teeth. I don't think you, I think you guys sound not this, I think you guys sound totally the same. So anyway. Thanks TP. This is kind of cool.

    Natty Bumpercar: Alright, he sounded more down than I think I've ever heard him. He sounded kind of confused. and I get a little bit worried and like a little bit so like listen Invisalign right what do they do they take molds of your see it hurts I don't think it's supposed to hurt they take um they took molds of my mouth with this goo stuff and then they sent the goo to the place and I guess they made um little they call them trays and these trays are the shape of your teeth and so then um they uh make they make they put they say hey we're gonna put some buttons on your teeth they call them buttons which sounds adorable I would love to have buttons on my teeth that sounds like the coolest new trend hey did you get your buttons on your teeth oh man I don't do those until spring okay whatever but that's what they said they said all right time to put the buttons on you I'm like yay buttons and so what buttons turn out to be are these little stalactites stalagmite sharp pointy just spikes of enamel on your teeth and maybe not enamel epoxy epoxy is what I was trying to say and so they they put them on certain spots and then they flash this blue light and then the blue light goes in and it makes them hard like super hard you stuck your tooth so then the trays can hold on and adjust your how your uh your your teeth uh but so you had to pop them in you got to pop them out and I don't it's done something cool where I don't eat anymore like I eat once really in a day and I don't like to snack because I have to take them out whenever you eat snacks and then you have to brush your teeth and it's just constant tooth brushing I uh I drink a lot more water than I used to and I don't like to eat a lot of water

    Rufus T. Rufus: I was going to say that you do look a little bit blue there, Aloysius J. Peters. For me, I'm extremely self-conscious about how I look. You can understand by the way I dress, by the way I walk, by the way I move, by the way I talk. So this is a big change for me. Maybe I can make it through. It's only 10 weeks, 10 episodes of the Bumper Podcast where you guys are going to… This will be known as the period of the Bumper Podcast where everybody sounded a little bit off. A little bit interesting.

    Natty Bumpercar: Well, so, as far as the whole sounding different thing, honestly, I do. I know I do. But if I focus on it, then I can kind of get it better. But I actually have to do mental gymnastics and make my mouth move a little bit differently to sound the way it normally sounds. And it's kind of, there's an imperceptible, like, there's a lisp. There's a little bit of a… A drag on how I speak. And there's a little bit more air in it. I listen to these things. That's how I figure out how to make silly voices. But my wife was like, the first night, she was like, Oh, you don't sound different. You don't sound different at all. And I was like, but I do. I know I do. And I have to, like, shape my mouth differently. Like, these are interesting, weird things that I have to do. And then the next day, I was talking to her on the phone. And she's like, oh, I was watching this show. And there's a comment. A commentator. One of the guys on the show. And he must have had Invisalign. And I was like, wait, why? What do you mean? She was like, well, he sounded like you. And I was just like, but you said yesterday that I don't sound different. And now you said I do. It's all lies. It's a house of lies. So, you know, it's fine. It sounds different. That part, I'm not worried about. The annoyance of the constantly popping mouth. Not constantly. Twice. Twice a day. Like, I ate lunch. I ate lunch. And then maybe I'm going to eat a snack later. That's it. Water. All the time. Because I just don't. They're like, the trays are going to capture the bad stuff. And I'm like, I don't want bad stuff on my teeth. Oh, hey.

    Robot: Hey, everybody. It's me, Robot. And I also received I was the fifth member of the Invisalign Club. So, I don't think I sound different at all. Do you?

    Natty Bumpercar: Robot, you sound like you're from either the future or space or robot heaven. You sound completely like I listen to a pig and I listen to Rufus and I listen to Doodle Poodle and myself, obviously. We all understand what's going on with our mouths. But you, I feel like there's a lack of self-aware. You sound like a celestial robot being right now. Right. That's how you sound. It sounds like your mouth is full of angel horns. No, no, no. Or something like that.

    Robot: No, no, no, no, no, no, no. I was told that I would sound exactly the same. Why, I have a commercial gig coming up very soon. A voiceover commercial gig where I'm in a robot sausage factory and I have to speak to the camera. I can't sound different. I have a contract.

    Rufus T. Rufus: Now, did somebody say something about a contract? Because as I said. I have it in writing and it is stamped. It is annotated and it is authorized that we will not sound different. So I suppose I'm going to have to sound it up to somebody and say a few words.

    Natty Bumpercar: Rufus, that time you didn't sound anything like yourself whatsoever. I think that the invisible line is messing with everyone. Hey, we made it to 325 episodes.

    Doodle Poodle: Woo-hoo. Yeah, we did it. Woo-hoo.

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  • Bumperpodcast #322 – Days Off

    Bumperpodcast #322 – Days Off

    Here it is – the new podcast that everyone is talking about. The Bumperpodcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp around Headquarters, in Coffee-Can Alley, with Natty Bumpercar and his entire gaggle of pals!

    Natty gets a couple of days off – and decides to try to make the most of it. There is a doughnut involved!

    You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com, or to call in and leave a message – 646.847.7976. We’re here and we’re listening!

    Go like our Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/TheBumperpodcast/)!!

     

    About This Episode

    In this episode of Bumperpodcast, host Natty Bumpercar shares stories from his eventful days off that turned into work-from-home days. Between work calls, Natty tackled DIY projects including installing a tow hitch on his Tiguan and re-screening his back door, indulged in delicious treats from his favorite donut shop (featuring a tres leches donut), and enjoyed an Indian buffet. The episode takes a poignant turn when Natty recounts the passing of Glassy the Pleco fish and his son's surprisingly casual reaction, leading to humorous reflections on mortality. After all his productivity, Natty ultimately spent his second day off simply watching TV, embracing the importance of rest and not running out of 'you.'

    Memorable Quotes

    “If you do too much you run out of you and if you run out of you you what have you got then you've got nothing you've got the zip you've got bupkis.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “I was like laying on a little my little blanket on the ground trying to do this stuff above my head because it wasn't on like a lift rack so it was way up high.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “Buddy, I'm sorry, Glassy didn't make it. Glassy moved on to a different place. And he just shrugged his shoulders.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #diyprojects #food #work-lifebalance #pets #mortality #homeimprovement #self-care #parenting

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: oh hi bumper podcast it's me natty bumper car and this is my favorite time of the day and i'm hoping that it at least ranks somewhere among your top 10 favorite parts of your day i'm you know i just want to crack the top 10 i'm not saying this is your favorite part of the day because that's way too much pressure for you and it's so much pressure for me i can't just please please please top 10 that's all i'm asking for but for me number one this is number one right up there at the top boom bumper podcast here i am there you are you're looking very nice today did you know that i was gonna be here you look like did you take a shower good for you i haven't i haven't taken a shower i took a couple of days off of work and um i've been i've had these clothes on now for this is my third day so i do need to change because i am going to the office today uh but here's the thing when sometimes when you like I have a job and I took days off and that was supposed to be exciting but you know what I ended up doing on those days off working that's right working so I in essence actually I just worked from home so days off turn into work from home days which is pretty fun except not so much uh but what I would do so I had a lot of end up having meetings I was trying to get some stuff fixed and so I was on a lot of calls um and actually doing some work myself as well um but what I would do is in between each of these things I was I had this huge list of projects and I was like I'm gonna get so much stuff done in these two days and and I had my list and I had checked it twice to find out which of my projects was naughty and which one of my projects was nice uh none of them were nice they were just annoying projects but I would go through my list and I would try to squeeze in a couple of things here and there so that uh you know I could get something done um the first day the first day started off really good my first day was there's a donut place near my house and it's my favorite donut place in the world on the planet and it's called Montclair Bread Montclair Bakery Montclair I think it's Montclair Bread and they have oh the donuts are so good I think I've talked about them before but I haven't talked about them I had a tres leches donut what does that mean three leches what does that mean three milks how does that work I don't know I know one is whipped cream so that's milk and then there's kind of like this sweetened condensed milk like bit to it so that's two milks the third milk I don't know I it's in there I mean it's not it's not dos leches cake no it's tres tres leches it's tres leches cake and you're gonna eat it and you're gonna love it and it's got it's got a cherry on top and it's just donut oh it's so good so that's how my day started right that was actually before I knew that I was gonna have to work for the day so and then after that I don't really remember what I did because I think I had so much sugar in my system that I passed out no I went to the tool store and I got some tool stuff so that I could do my tool project and then I came home and I did my first project my first was I put a a tow hitch it's called a tow hitch on the back of my Tiguan my little car and so I had to actually I watched the YouTube video like a hundred times for this because I was getting very much more nervous every single time I had to take a utility knife and cut into the bottom of my bumper there was a pre scored square rectangle there that like from the manufacturer from Volkswagen so I had to take a utility knife and cut into the bottom of my bumper there was a pre scored square rectangle there that like from the manufacturer from Volkswagen but i had to actually cut through it it was so scary i was afraid i was like i'm ruining my car i'm cutting into my car i'm destroying my poor car but i got that off and then i put the the tow hitch in and there were four bolts and i was like laying on a little my little blanket on the ground trying to do this stuff above my head because it wasn't on like a uh like in the video they're like they had the car in a lift rack so it was way up high so that it was easier for them to do these things but me uh i i didn't get i didn't get that i was on the ground so that's fine i got it done got it all in there and um i was very excited it's very cool it actually looks nice and it looks right and it looks like it's like i didn't do it then i found out i had to do some work so i got on a call after that call i what did i do oh i did i went to uh i went on my second project and my second project was i had to re-screen the back door my back storm door and so that was pretty cool because like i had to watch another video and learn how to do more like doodad thing and um there's like this thing called a spline which is like a cord that goes around this little channel on the screen door she had to pull the spline out and then pull the old um screen out and then clean it all up really nice and put the new screen on and then uh get it cut into the corners and put the new spline in with a spline roller it's called i had to do all this stuff and uh my mother-in-law she was like why not just take that screen to the screen place and have them re-screen it and i was like because i'm learning a cool new skill and instead of it being you know like a 50 project for them to do it or maybe more i don't know it's and now it's a 15 project so i feel like i won in that one at least and then i had i'm trying to think what else i had um i did some other projects i don't know i oh oh oh oh after i did the second project i went and i had i went to an indian buffet and it was so good and i ate so much food so part of my day off was like i'm gonna eat some good food so i had my donut and then i had indian buffet indian buffet, all you can eat it was ten dollars and fifty bucks it's 20 bucks only, 10 dollars and 15 cents $10.50, $10.47 if I'm to be exact, and you know I am. I had two plates of food. And so what I did, the first plate, I went around and I had little tastes of everything. Little tastes, little tastes, little tastes, little tastes, little tastes, right? Oh God, it was so good. And my mouth was actually watering from it. And they gave me a little basket of naan, which is this kind of bread. And then on my second plate back, what you do is like, you're like, all right, I sampled everything. Now I'm going all in on the things that I really like. But there was some chicken, well, there's some tikka masala, which I put on some biryani rice. And then I had some tandoori chicken. Oh, it was so much chicken goodness. And then some, what else was it? I don't know, man. There was so much, there was just a lot of food. Let me just be clear with you that a lot of food was eaten. And then I went back and I had like this tiny little bowl of this rice stuff that was vanilla-y and yummy and just amazing. And then I came home and then I did another project. My brain is not telling me what that other project was, so it must not have been that important. And then I got everything kind of, the house kind of cleaned, did a little bit more work. And then that night, after I got everything good, I went and I saw the Avengers movie, which was a big movie, a big crazy movie, a big what, what in the what, what, what, what, what, what, what in the what movie. So that was my night. And then I came home that night, and guys, it was a little bit sad. Glassy, our Pleco, our Fish, the fish who keeps everything clean, he moved on to another fish world. He said, I can't take this anymore. I'm not gonna be in here with these snails and this shrimp. And then he died. And the sad thing is, is I feel like I might be responsible, because he was a big hardy fish he was like i was like this fish is good look at this fish i think that the snails might have eaten whatever he used to be eaten is my is my thinking so and which makes me feel like a horrible fish parent um but we you know what you move on you move on you move on and so when i had to get him out of the tank at the little fish net and everything and it was like 12 30 at night and so it was late i was kind of tired and uh one of the kids has this little robot dog this little very frustrating robot dog and i guess he was on the kitchen table which is where the fish tank is and my motion of getting the fish out was enough that uh and it's you know it's quiet in the house because it's so late i'm focused on getting the fish out i don't want to disturb any of the other fish and i'm i'm contemplating uh death because of the fish and then this is this robot dog just goes and i like flung the fish the fish just ah i threw everything because i didn't i thought i was being attacked by an adorable robot dog uh thankfully though i was not being attacked so but it took the kids uh two days two days to figure out that the biggest most giant fish uh was no longer in the tank and by the kids i mean only one of them he was going around he was doing like an inventory he was like oh there's snail there's that fish the shrimp is the shrimp gone I was like no the shrimp is right here he's not moving it's like no his little his little antenna are moving he's fine okay there's another fit wait dad where's that other fit where's the where's where's glassy and I had to break it down I was like buddy buddy buddy buddy I'm sorry glassy didn't glassy didn't make it you know glassy moved on to a different place glassy's no longer with us and he I was that I kind of I was just like does that make you sad does he was just like man he shrugged his shoulders so all right you know our dog is 15 at this point at some point he's probably gonna go to a farm or dog college or wherever dogs go and I'm wondering if it's gonna be a similar reaction and then I'm wondering if it's gonna be a similar reaction and then I'm wondering after that at some point in life I might die I don't know I hope not but as I from my understanding it it's it's it's an inevitability and is it gonna be the same reaction oh where's dad he's I see Ollie is he mommy I see the snails I see the oh he's did he die and shrug his shoulders yeah oh it's not a natural reaction it's a weird reaction anyway ah what are you gonna do so then you know reaction anyway ah what are you gonna do so then you know gonna do so then you know really hot here yesterday it was it was tanVI tanVI 92 degrees which is warm for it's spring we kind of skipped spring went straight to summer and i uh i got the list out and i started looking at it and i was just like i uh i think today i'm going to uh watch tv and that's what i did i just watched i watched tv from the beginning of the day until the end of the day i got nothing done but i felt fine about it i felt great about it and and because you know what i do too much and if you do too much you run out of you and if you run out of you you what have you got then you've got nothing you've got the zip you've got you've got but but bupkis what's bupkis what's a bupkis i don't know but i know what you are you're the bumper podcast kateers and i know what i am i am natty bumper car and i know what this is this is a bumper podcast and again this is my favorite time of the day i hope it's your favorite time of the day you go and make all that magic happen why don't you make

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