Tag: Bumperpodcast

  • Bumperpodcast #9

    Bumperpodcast #9

    Needing a new camera . . . I stumble upon a much worse idea . . . A traveling portrait artist . . . Poodle.

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    About This Episode

    In episode 9 of Bumperpodcast, Natty Bumpercar embarks on a hilarious quest to find a new camera for upcoming events. From researching daguerreotypes to seeking out a mythical camera bird inspired by a TV show, Natty's search takes an absurd turn. Unable to find the perfect bird-powered camera, Natty instead hires Doodle Poodle, a portrait artist with his own voicemail announcement, to follow him around and draw pictures. The plan quickly backfires when the peppermint-scented, screaming poodle proves too much to handle, and Producer helps Doodle Poodle escape before Natty can even fire him.

    Memorable Quotes

    “I looked up bird, I looked up camera bird, bird camera and nothing came up.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “There was a screaming poodle who was in my house and following me around wanting to draw pictures of my baby and I'm pretty sure that he smelled a little bit like peppermint.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “Wait are you serious? Did I just get walked out on by them? I didn't even get a chance to fire him.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #cameras #photography #technology #doodlepoodle #hiringmishaps #portraitart #comedy

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar, Producer, Doodle Poodle

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: all right bumper podcast it is your wednesday and we are gonna jump right into it here's a thing i was on a mission i had to get a new camera because we have things that are happening that i'm gonna want to take a picture of i wanted to get a camcorder and i didn't know what to do and so i did a lot of research and you know i was just like well i've heard daguerreotypes are really nice you know i've heard silver tents um there was a television show at one point that i was watching and you know they had a bird who actually lived inside of a box like inside of a camera and and you he would he would make the picture with his beak and and i thought that was maybe the best option but i i went on you know the big uh the big internet website there where they sell things and i couldn't find it i looked i looked everywhere i looked i looked up bird i looked up uh camera bird bird camera and and and and nothing came up and so what i ended up doing was kind of along that line along that vein uh i couldn't find a camera bird and so i i said you know what i i think that maybe what we should do is we should just hire a portrait artist and and have him come around with us everywhere we go hello boy

    Producer: boys and girls let's see what doodle boodle is drawing right now

    Natty Bumpercar: yeah and that was the worst part of the whole thing well you'll see maybe it's not the worst part but he came with his own voicemail oh hi everybody it's me

    Doodle Poodle: it's so great that you hired me

    Natty Bumpercar: yeah on second thought and i don't even know how this is on a second thought because i clearly that that was the worst part was that there was a screaming poodle who was in my house and following me around wanting to draw pictures of my baby and i'm pretty sure that he smelled a little bit like peppermint so

    Producer: hey dp what say we blow this joint

    Natty Bumpercar: wait are you serious did i just get walked out on by them i didn't even get a chance to fire him unmitigated disaster all right bumper podcast at nattybumpercar.com

  • Bumperpodcast #8

    Bumperpodcast #8

    Oh . . . There are robots in the world – indeed there are. But why are they so sad?!

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    About This Episode

    In this episode of the Bumperpodcast, host Natty Bumpercar announces a new creative project for the website involving photographs of sad robots he's spotted around town. When an actual sad Robot character interrupts to question why Natty takes pictures without permission, the conversation takes an unexpectedly melancholic turn. Natty promises to help make things better for the sad robots and acknowledges that this episode is less funny than usual. He invites listeners to email him with their thoughts at bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com as he works to both document and hopefully cheer up the depressed robots of the world.

    Memorable Quotes

    “I look around town and I see a lot of really sad robots around and so I've been trying to take their pictures”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “Why do you take the sad robots pictures? Well it's because they don't like pictures”

    — Robot

    “Normally bumper podcast is supposed to be fun it's supposed to be funny people are supposed to go giggle giggle giggle but today kind of depressing”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #robots #photography #sadness #newprojects #depression #helpingothers

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar, Robot

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: it's the bumper podcast what's going on everybody it's been pointed out to me that for the past few weeks i didn't tell you where you were i didn't tell you what you were listening to and so right off the bat i want to let you know where you are and what you're doing you're listening to the bumper podcast here i am natty bumper car and i'm gonna tell you about something that i've been working on it's a new project it's a new like feature thing that i want to do on the website and i think it's gonna be really cool it's do you guys like robots yeah i thought you might because everybody likes robots kind of a lot and yeah yeah that's yeah it's about sad robots you guys oh okay well that i don't really know i don't really get into that part of it but what i do know is that i look around town and i see a lot of really sad robots around and so i've been trying to take their pictures and um hopefully really soon what i'm going to do is start showing you their pictures so that you can see the sad robots and then maybe you can figure out why the robots are sad and maybe you oh i really got excited there did you hear me start

    Robot: talking fast why do you take the sad robots pictures well it's because they don't like pictures well

    Natty Bumpercar: i kept interrupting you i'm sorry are are you a sad robot is that i don't even really know who you i don't you know well hey buddy i i think it's all gonna work out for you i'm just taking some pictures and i think we're gonna make everything better for you i hope at least

    Robot: that's a big sigh all right you know normally bumper podcast is supposed to be fun it's supposed

    Natty Bumpercar: to be funny people are supposed to go giggle giggle giggle but today kind of depressing what do you guys think do me a favor if you could email me at bumper podcast at natty bumper car.com i'm not gonna spell it out for you but you know where it is and hopefully we'll fix these robots right right and hopefully uh we'll be a little bit funnier next time too

  • Bumperpodcast #7

    Bumperpodcast #7

    Ladies and Gentlemen . . . We are at war.

    Unfortunately – the inanimates are winning.

    That is all – for now!

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    About This Episode

    In episode 7 of Bumperpodcast, host Natty Bumpercar shares his ongoing battle with an army of misbehaving pillows. What starts as a seemingly alarming battle cry turns into a massive yawn, setting the tone for Natty's hilarious confession about his nightly pillow wars. He describes how bad pillows mysteriously replace the good ones by bedtime, comparing the experience to sleeping on an angry badger or a sourdough roll. As the battle escalates and the pillows continue winning, Natty contemplates drastic measures—including the possibility of sleeping in the tub. This short, absurdist episode showcases Natty's signature improvised comedy style as he personifies household items into formidable foes.

    Memorable Quotes

    “It's like I'm sleeping on a badger, an angry badger.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “It's officially pillows 10, me less than 10.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “This is what happens when your inanimate objects start attacking you and start winning.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #sleep #pillows #everydaystruggles #absurdisthumor #inanimateobjects #personalbattles

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: do you guys hear that sounds like a battle alarm sounds like somebody sounding the battle oh man that was a big yawn i know i got y'all excited and it was a big battle alarm and then i started yawning a lot it was a big yawn and i made you listen to that and um here's the thing guys i'm gonna take you deep inside some personal battles that i'm fighting right now some personal strife that's going on in my life a little thing that i deal with almost every night it's a pillow fight it's a pillow fight times 10 it's a pillow war that's right every night i go in i hop into bed and what's going on there's pillows that are misshapen that are attacking me that aren't letting me sleep that are beating me up you it's officially pillows 10 me less than 10 and what i do is i'll go in and i'll find the pillows that i like there's a lot of pillows a lot of them i don't like and i'll put those pillows where i know they are and then by the time i go to bed the bad pillows have snuck their way back they are very sneaky these bad pillows and they've taken me to bed and i'm like oh my god i'm gonna go to bed and i'm gonna go to bed and i'm taking the place of the good pillows and i go to lay down and it's it's like a sour i'm laying on a sourdough roll but not crunchy like that or like flaky or tasty no it's like i'm sleeping on a badger an angry badger and there are in this fight in this battle there are lines that have been drawn and i'm not explaining this very well i am just so flustered right now and this is what happens when your inanimate objects start attacking you and start winning i'm not winning this fight i don't know what i'm going to do the only thing that i can think of and i it's a terrible compromise is i might start winning i don't know what i'm going to do but i'm going to keep sleeping in the tub

  • Bumperpodcast #6

    Bumperpodcast #6

    It’s the quietest episode yet . . . Gotta get ready to be sneaky around the baby.

    So hhhhuuuusssshhhhhh it down.

    Pretty please?!

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    About This Episode

    In Bumperpodcast episode #6, host Natty Bumpercar attempts to keep everyone quiet in preparation for a baby's arrival. Despite his best efforts to maintain a whisper-friendly environment, chaos ensues when a noisy duck and Mott the sheep interrupt the proceedings. Natty brainstorms unconventional sleeping spots for the baby, including drawers, a file cabinet, and even a dishwasher. The episode showcases the classic Bumperpodcast humor as Natty struggles to enforce quiet time while his puppet friends create comedic mayhem.

    Memorable Quotes

    “I got a couple of drawers, got a file cabinet, I think we have some… there's a closet over there, obviously, there's the dishwasher, a lot of places for this baby to sleep.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “Just because some little duck comes in and starts going all and just because Mott the sheep decides he wants to bowl in like sheep… we're supposed to be keeping it quiet!”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #babies #preparation #chaos #friendship #comedy #whispering

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar

    Full Transcript

    Unknown: Hey, wait, no, shh, quiet, quiet, quiet, quiet, quiet, everybody!

    Natty Bumpercar: Thank you, that's better. We're trying to get better at being a little bit more quiet around here. You know, doing a little whispering. Because, you know, well, there's a tiny little baby about to be here. So, could you please keep it down? I understand, you know, we're talking on the microphone, and we're broad, we're telling, you know, whatever, talking, we're doing some talking. But, and this isn't now, there's no baby here right this second. But any minute now, in the next few weeks, there could be a tiny baby sleeping. Maybe, right here, on the desk, maybe, I'm not sure where he's gonna sleep. And I mean, I got a couple of drawers, got a file cabinet, I think we have some, uh, some, there's a closet over there, obviously, there's the dishwasher, a lot of places for this baby to sleep. But we need to keep it quiet. Alright, maybe we can tell ghost stories, that's what people do when they're being really quiet. Alright. Alright, seriously? Oh, what's going on? Mott, what have you been up to? Yeah, I know, summer is almost done. I'm going into winter, never really had a summer. Do you hear my raspy voice? Yeah, I know, it's kind of my pirate type of voice. Arrr, isn't it terrible that summer came and never stayed? Wait… Isn't it terrible… Isn't it terrible… that summer never came i understand you know here's the thing though everybody we were supposed to be whispering and so just because some little duck comes in and starts going all and just because mott the sheep decides he wants to bowl in like sheep and start yeah well we're supposed to be keeping it quiet we're supposed to be keeping it down because who cares about the duck and who cares about the sheep we gotta make sure that the baby sleeps so we gotta be in practice because we gotta be ready because we gotta be right am i right right

  • Bumperpodcast #5

    Bumperpodcast #5

    Angry. Angry. Angry. About the constant attack from spider webs . . .

    Whose planet is this anyway?!

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    About This Episode

    In this episode of Bumperpodcast, host Natty Bumpercar goes on a hilarious rant about his nemesis: spider webs. After walking through yet another web in the middle of a field, Natty declares war on spiders and their "poop" (his fake science theory about what spider webs really are). He extends this theory to silk, suggesting fashionistas are wearing worm poop. Despite his frustration, Natty invents a spinning umbrella-like contraption to clear spider webs from his path while insisting he doesn't actually want to hurt spiders. The episode showcases Natty's trademark improvisational comedy and absurdist problem-solving.

    Memorable Quotes

    “Spider webs are can I clue you in it's it's poop. You're walking essentially walking through spider poop I think.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “You fashionistas in your big cities wearing your worm poop but I'm not angry at worms they're just doing their job.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “I don't want to hurt a spider. I know they're our friend. But friends, don't make me walk through there.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #spiders #inventions #fakescience #fashion #nature #problemsolving #comedyrant

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: i am so angry i'm so serious you guys i mean last night i was walking around outside in the middle of a field and i get hit by a spider web i mean there was nowhere in the world for the spiders to be and yet how come every time i have to walk around on my planet i'm laying claim to my planet that i have to walk through uh spider webs because it's ridiculous it's not fair because you know what spider webs are can i clue you in it's it's poop it's not fair you're walking through spider you're walking essentially walking through spider poop i think i don't you know and here's the thing having a baby starting to realize don't know a lot of stuff so i'm inventing faux science fake science it's a fake front it's a faux front so spider webs are poop and you know what ladies wearing your silk you know what that is because i do i think you know if we run by my theory i think that that silk might be worm poop so you fashionistas in your big cities wearing your worm poop but i'm not angry at worms they're just doing their job if people want to buy worm poop that's totally fine by me but spiders i got my eye on you i'm angry because you keep on i mean it's in my hair it's in my mouth i walk to the car I walk down the stairs. I walk anywhere. And spiders, it's, just leave me alone. So here's the thing. I'm going to be a bit proactive. I'm inventing something. I don't know what it's going to be called yet, so I might need help with a name. But it's basically like an umbrella. But whenever you go outside, you know, you open it or whatever, and it's a pole that's out in front of you, you know, maybe like 10 inches. And it spins, and it's right where your nose is. So it's always following your nose. So you don't even see it. It's just there. And you know what it's doing? It's going to be knocking down spider webs left and right. I don't want to hurt a spider. I know they're our friend. I know that they're getting rid of the other bugs. But friends, don't make me walk through there. Oh. Okay. Don't forget. Bumper Podcast at NattyBumperCar.com. Be nice to spiders.