Tag: Bumperpodcast

  • Bumperpodcast #19 – Menu

    Bumperpodcast #19 – Menu

    Let’s make a menu!

    A confusing jumbled menu . . .

    [Click the title to get to the episode!]


    About This Episode

    In this festive episode of Bumperpodcast, host Natty Bumpercar enthusiastically plans an elaborate holiday feast menu. From shrimp prepared multiple ways and scallops wrapped in bacon to stuffed mushrooms and creamed onions, Natty covers appetizers in delicious detail. The menu planning continues with turkey as the main course, accompanied by green beans, glazed carrots, and those famous toe-firkeys for vegan guests. Natty wraps up the culinary journey with dessert options including various pies, cookies, and light yogurt, plus a confused but charming discussion of tea varieties like "earl" and "earlette." This mouthwatering episode will leave listeners both hungry and entertained by Natty's stream-of-consciousness approach to menu planning.

    Memorable Quotes

    “I've heard that vegans only they don't like the toe part so they just eat the firkey and so you go to a vegan thanksgiving and they say do you guys have firkey”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “We could have a butter that looks like a turkey and we could have a butter that it's on the grill and you're almost too afraid to carve it”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “People say i would like to earl and then there's the earlette”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #thanksgiving #food #cooking #menuplanning #holidayfeast #vegetarian #turkey

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: shrimp shrimps shrimps shrimps and um shrimps with uh that red stuff which is the sauce shrimps uh you could have them sauteed in garlic and butter um and you could also have maybe i read a scallops wrapped in bacon um with a fig you could have figs that are baked you could have other things that are baked what could you also have stuffed mushrooms stuffed with what stuffed with peas stuffed with cheese stuffed with bread crumbs i made the baby cry oh no we're just trying to figure out a menu bumper podcast little salads little fingerling potatoes little onions that are creamed onions those little creamed onions um maybe some roasted garlic that's all soft and good and gooey with a crostini with um but uh tomatoes and onions what's that stuff called it's called good god and olive oil and um what else can we have for appetizers just cheese and crackers is boring but we could do it we could have brie we could have blue cheese we could have um some cheddar cheese because people like cheddar cheese and we could have parmesan cheese and oh man let's go to dinner let's get a turkey let's get a turkey and then we can have green beans and we can have peas with onions and mushrooms and we can have um carrots like glazed carrots like orange ginger glazed carrots and we could have um so hot and sir what are they called um toast and serve rolls with butter and just a vat of we could have a butter that looks like a turkey and we could have a butter that it's on the grill and you're almost too afraid to carve it and then there's the turkey hello turkey oh and then there's the toe firkey i've heard that vegans only they don't like the toe part so they just eat the firkey and so you go to a vegan thanksgiving and they say do you guys have firkey that's all i would like is some firkey please and then you could have for dessert you could have a cookie plate and you could have apple pie and banana pie and um pumpkin pie and just uh yogurt because that's that's a light dessert and people like light desserts and then people are gonna want teas and then what kind of teas do you want do you want your earl gray the earl people say i would like to earl and then there's the earlette and then there's well there's others there's orange pico and then there's coffee i don't know much about coffee because i don't drink it but i'm very excited it's gonna be a big day tomorrow and i am glad that i had this conversation with the bumper podcast i'm so excited i'm so excited i'm so excited i'm so excited i'm so because now I know what my menu is, and so I gotta go to the store.

  • Bumperpodcast #18 – Whispering about a Dragon

    Bumperpodcast #18 – Whispering about a Dragon

    Shhhhhh . . . The baby is sleeping . . . So we all need to whisper.

    I think I’ll whisper about a dragon – if I dare.

    Whispering about a dragon.

    [Click the title to get to the episode!]


    About This Episode

    In episode 18 of Bumperpodcast, host Natty Bumpercar attempts to record while a baby is sleeping nearby, resulting in an unusually hushed episode. Despite whispering throughout, Natty manages to share a dragon story he claims he's not telling—a tale involving a rampaging dragon, a catapult, and an unexpected banana-based defense strategy. The episode showcases Natty's improvisational comedy style as he navigates the challenge of being both entertaining and extremely quiet. Listeners get a rare glimpse of the improvised chaos at Bumperpodcast headquarters, where limited weapons supplies lead to creative problem-solving.

    Memorable Quotes

    “When you said yes you said it too loud. I know I understand you can hear me but I'm right here so you don't have to yell at me.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “We shot a big thing of bananas into his mouth and he's allergic to bananas which we were lucky because that's around here at headquarters right now we don't have a lot of weapons.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #dragons #whispering #improvisation #bananas #storytelling #comedy #naptime

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: it's finally happened i'm recording a bumper podcast when the baby is sleeping so i have to be so quiet can you even hear me i'm right here can you hear me okay shh don't don't when you said yes you said it too loud i i know i i understand you can hear me but i'm right here so you don't have to yell at me i'm not yelling at you i'm whispering i don't i said that strange whispering hi everybody it's the bumper podcast it's good to see you today oh so here's the thing the baby is asleep i have to do a bumper podcast because that's what i do you guys like to listen to bumper podcasts this week i had a story for you about a dragon and and it had it had lots of loud noises and bombast and uh things breaking and things getting you know dragoned it was a real dragon tale inside joke but i don't feel like it's the appropriate uh place to tell that story now because i'm having to whisper i will let you know though that this is a story that i'm not going to tell you about i'm not going to tell you that this is a story that i'm not going to tell you about i'm not going to tell you about this dragon who was on a rampage he well the only way he was stopped was we uh used a catapult and we shot uh a big thing of bananas into his mouth and he's allergic to bananas which we were lucky because that's around here around headquarters right now we don't have a lot of supplies weapons weapons speaking we don't you know we have well we have bananas and it was uh we had two plans with the bananas either make a big banana slick around the house so that the dragon would slip and potentially sprain his ankle when he came to attack or uh try to shoot him into his mouth and that's what we did and uh the dragon stopped breathing so win for us and win for you because you've had your weekly dose of the quiet bumper podcast

  • Bumperpodcast #17 – Whiskers and Wicker

    Bumperpodcast #17 – Whiskers and Wicker

    I think that theis Bumperpodcast talks about whiskers . . . and wicker. It does not – however – delve into Wiccans – or – Wicket W. Warick . . . so – don’t get too excited.

    Whiskers and Wicker.

    [Click the title to get to the episode!]


    About This Episode

    In episode 17 of Bumperpodcast, host Natty Bumpercar delivers a frantic update about the ongoing siege at headquarters, revealing that the evil has now infiltrated inside the building. Under immense stress, Natty goes on a rambling tangent about dinner plates, china for special occasions, and an absurd environmental concern about sustainable paper plate holders made from free-range cat whiskers harvested on Oklahoma farms. The episode showcases Natty's trademark stream-of-consciousness comedy as he veers wildly between genuine crisis updates and bizarre observations about furniture and sustainability.

    Memorable Quotes

    “The evil has gotten inside the house and we're falling like flies. This is not an allegory—we are now positive it's not an allegory.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “They're made out of authentic whiskers from cat farms in Oklahoma. These are free range cats and they'll snip their whiskers every two months to make paper plate holders.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “Pretty soon there's going to be cats with no whiskers and there's going to be people with no place to sit.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #headquartersundersiege #stress #rambling #sustainability #catwhiskers #paperplates #environmentalconcerns

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: bumper podcast bumper podcast bumper podcast there's no as you can tell this is old music no time for new music because there's a lot of stuff going on i told you last week that headquarters is under attack well now the attacks are happening inside the house and i can't talk about it too much because it's crazy and because i gotta run and because there's a lot of stuff to do but all i'm saying is the evil has gotten inside the house and and we're falling like flies we know it's i'm not this is not an allegory no hold on allegory allegory allegory can somebody look that up for me allegory yeah okay it's not an allegory we are now positive it's not an allegory for some for some sort of some wow some some some sort of flu it is not it wasn't even a tongue twister that i just uh hmm bumper podcast let me tell you something all right a lot of stress happening right at this second right at this very minute there's a lot going on there's a lot of my plate if you could see my plate right now it's uh it's white it's a bone white it's a china uh it's what we bring out not just for special occasions but we want to make every meal a special occasion so we bring out the china but when he what if you're just eating uh uh a bar food like a slider or a chicken chicken tender a buffalo a burfalo chicken tender are you gonna put those on china net now for that uh i have paper plates and uh whisker with with wicker not whisker whisker paper plate holders they're made out of authentic whiskers and how they get those they're cat farms i think in oklahoma and uh the cats are very well taken care of these are free range cats and what they do is they'll go up and i think it's every two months they'll snip their whiskers and they'll make paper plate holders for people who don't have paper plate holders all right it's environmental it's green it's it's if we're gonna be sustainable i think it's the way that we have to go because you know not you can't keep making wicker wicker do you know what that is that's chairs that's that's the furniture that goes on your front deck and eventually if we keep going the way we are and you know i don't want to get on my soapbox but pretty soon there's going to be cats with no whiskers and there's going to be people with no place to sit so bumper podcast

  • Bumperpodcast #16 – Mea Culpa

    Bumperpodcast #16 – Mea Culpa

    This is a Bumperpodcast first. Two shows in one week. Two shows in two days. Too bad this one is just asking for forgiveness.

    Please bear in mind that Headquarters is under attack.

    These are serious times.

    Mea Culpa.

    [Click the title to get to the episode!]


    About This Episode

    In Bumperpodcast episode 16, host Natty Bumpercar delivers a frantic apology after yesterday's technical failures with the phone system. Things spiral as Natty threatens to fire staff members, only to realize no one has actually been let go and the phones still don't work. Adding to the chaos, an anonymous listener has faxed in a request for the show to stop entirely. Between searching for missing producer Mott and hinting at mysterious attacks on Bumperpodcast headquarters, Natty struggles to maintain control of this rapid-fire follow-up episode. It's pure improvised comedy chaos as the host tries and fails to get the show back on track.

    Memorable Quotes

    “There were some heads rolled around the bumper podcast office last night. I can't have that kind of show going out.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “We've gotten rid of old people on the team… I think we're my executive producer. I don't know anymore. We actually haven't gotten rid of anyone yet.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “The place where the bumper podcast is made, that's what's actually under attack but I can't talk about that right now because they're listening.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #apology #technicaldifficulties #workplacechaos #telephones #faxmachines #metacomedy #listenerfeedback

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: oh hi bumper podcast i bet you didn't expect to hear from me especially not so so soon i you know here's the thing i yesterday we got a we tried to do some telephones and we tried um to call people and you know i got frustrated i was angry i'm not gonna lie there were some heads rolled around the bumper podcast office last night i can't have that kind of show going out so i mean you're listening and i appreciate that and i need to put on a good show and so i need to i need to let you know the repercussions there's some people around here that aren't gonna be they're not a role they're not gonna they're not around here anymore and so what we're doing is this is my mea culpa to you you know maybe we didn't get the phones working yesterday but you know i'm saying hi this is a bumper podcast you love to listen i love to talk so it's you know we're like you can't see my hands right now but they're interwoven they're interweaving like right now you can i if i hold them like no you still can't see them probably but here's the thing bumper podcast i also got the facts and it struck me deeply it was from an anonymous listener and he asked me to stop doing the bumper podcast we're under attack here people want us to go away well what we've done is we've gotten rid of the more get rid of old people on the team and i think that uh it's gonna work out really well i just looked around because i thought mott was gonna be here for a while maybe he's not here maybe he's taking a coffee break during a recording of a show mott no sir no sir sheep you i think were my executive producer i don't know anymore i don't we actually haven't gotten rid of anyone yet and we also don't have telephones but we evidently have a fax machine where we take angry faxes and you know we i thought i was gonna be on better footing today and i'm not at all um maybe it has something to do with a lot of things maybe it has something to do with the fact that headquarters the place where the bumper podcast is made that's what's actually under attack but i can't talk about that right now because they're listening two bumper podcasts one week all right

    Unknown: you

  • Bumperpodcast #15 – Cease and Dismiss

    Bumperpodcast #15 – Cease and Dismiss

    Telephones have been brought to the bumperpodcast studio! And that would be great news – however – as things tend to do around these parts . . . Nothing goes quite as planned.

    Cease and Dismiss.

    [Click the title to get to the episode!]


    About This Episode

    In Bumperpodcast episode 15, host Natty Bumpercar attempts to take live phone calls for the first time, but technical difficulties derail the plan when multiple phones start ringing simultaneously and no one answers. Natty expresses frustration that the preparation he thought had been done for the show hasn't actually happened. The chaos continues when Natty receives a blurry fax from a listener demanding he "cease and dismiss" the podcast. This short episode showcases the show's trademark improvisational humor and the lovable dysfunction of the Bumperpodcast crew as they struggle with basic technology.

    Memorable Quotes

    “I sat down today I was handed a sheet of paper here and it said today we are gonna make phone calls and I said that's amazing we're gonna talk to people finally.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “It says here, cease and dismiss. I think it's supposed to be cease and desist but it says here, cease and dismiss.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #phonecalls #technicaldifficulties #listenerfeedback #podcasting #chaos #improvisation

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: hey oh bumper podcast what do you know i know you know something but i don't know what it is i know a lot of things but i'm not allowed to tell them there's secrets i know a lot of secrets here's one of the secrets reset up the phones we're gonna take calls let's do one right now what do you think all right it's ringing so everybody ready should be uh we got a ringing telephone in uh oh wait there's another ring oh that's a ring okay wait okay too many phones too many phones too many phones too many phones what okay one of the phones has got to stop ringing because i don't no one's even answering who did we call does anyone know you made a couple of okay well we're still ringing no bumper podcast we evidently i thought we had set up the phones and we were gonna take calls today and uh it didn't work out okay that's that it's not even a real phone at that point it's not even who are we calling like it is my bell like who are we i don't understand podcast i apologize i thought i'd i was excited because i thought that some preparation had gone into the show i i sat down today i was handed a sheet of paper here and it said today we are gonna make phone calls and i said that's amazing we're gonna talk to people finally we're gonna get some people on live because really that's what you guys have been asking for and so we had the phone bank set up we had phone numbers i guess they dialed and nobody there was no one there and um i don't know oh no this is interesting look at this i was just handed this fax uh from a concerned listener mr natty bumper car i have been listening to your bumper podcast for quite some time now i do not like it i do not like it one bit i kind of wish that i was not even listening right now but i am and i have decided to send you this fax sorry it's very blurry fax to uh implore you to cease and just dismiss i think it's supposed to be cease and desist but it It says here, cease and dismiss.