Tag: Bumperpodcast

  • Bumperpodcast 44 – Stub

    Bumperpodcast 44 – Stub

    I split my toe – I stubbed my toe – I mangled and bashed and beat up my toe. Socks just stood by and watched . . . I had to hobble around a bit – and the worst part was the cleaning of the wound.

    Booooooo cleaning – in all of it’s sundry forms.


    About This Episode

    In this episode of Bumperpodcast, host Natty Bumpercar shares a painful and humorous tale of stubbing his toe during an evening walk with his dog Socks. What starts as a simple mishap quickly escalates when Natty discovers blood everywhere after his big toe takes on the sidewalk in a brutal TKO. He vividly describes the shock of pain, the confusion of his dog, and the awkward four-block journey home hobbling on his left heel. The episode captures Natty's signature storytelling style as he recounts the worst part of all: cleaning the wound at home only to discover he's out of band-aids.

    Memorable Quotes

    “It was just like you know like when you have so much pain where your body doesn't even know how to react and it's just like pain and you can see things that aren't there necessarily.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “If we were scoring the fight between the sidewalk and my toe the sidewalk definitely won tko technical knockout cannot continue fight because of too much blood in the ring.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “I have to walk uh what is it right foot left heel right foot left heel right foot left heel came home.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #injuries #dogs #walking #pain #humor #everydaylife #storytelling

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: hey bumper podcast what's going on it's me natty bumper car or as i like to be called these days natty bumper wait natty bumper stubbed toe natty stubbed toe i stubbed my toe last night yesterday it was a rough day it was a bad day yep i was walking socks it was pitch dark outside and out of nowhere i was wearing flip flops too i should let you know that out of nowhere boom like the whole world went bright like a flash of light mostly in my head but it was just like you know like when you have so much pain where your body doesn't even know how to react and it's just like pain and it's you like you can hear things you can see things you can see things you can see things you can see things that aren't there necessarily and i had to stop i had to pause took a deep breath all right everything's all right stubbed my toe kind of hurts gonna keep walking oh so he kept walking socks you know he didn't know what was going on you know he always gets confused when stuff happens like he just looks back at me like i thought we were on a walk not on a hang out here so i uh so i keep walking maybe i mean i maybe got another 20 feet or so and i was just like well this is this does it hurts it doesn't feel good this doesn't feel right so i took my uh phone my flashlight phone thing and i held it down by my uh by my foot and uh ooh ooh yuck ooh yuck gross there was blood everywhere there i mean there was blood blood everywhere my big toe had been demolished it had i mean if if we were scoring the fight between the sidewalk and my toe the sidewalk definitely won tko technical knockout cannot continue fight because of too much blood in in in the ring so then i'm four blocks from home i have to walk uh what is it right foot left heel right foot left heel right foot left heel came home and then that's the worst part of it all because you gotta clean it out you gotta put some water on it which hurts you gotta put some peroxide on it which hurts you gotta put some neosporin on it which doesn't really hurt kind of makes it feel better and then what you're out of band-aids well you're out of luck

  • Bumperpodcast 43 – Mott

    Bumperpodcast 43 – Mott

    I don’t know what is going on . . . we have stopped getting mail. It is so hot. Mott the Sheep stops by – and we try to figure out what his wool is called – it isn’t a jacket – we know that – but – what in the world is it?!?

    About This Episode

    In this heat-affected episode of Bumperpodcast, host Natty Bumpercar struggles with the oppressive summer temperatures and admits everything is falling apart around him. He's joined by his good friend Mott the Sheep, whose wool coat makes him particularly sympathetic to the heat complaints. The two discuss a recent comedy show they performed together, where Mott wrote most of the material while Natty handled the talking. The episode meanders through topics including unread email, the definition of sheep's wool, and a plea for listener interaction. This rambling summer episode perfectly captures the disoriented feeling of extreme heat.

    Memorable Quotes

    “I have no idea what's going on. I don't know if it's because it's summer, I don't know if it's because it's so unbearably unbelievably hot, but everything is falling apart around here.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “Mott's the sheep, his name is Mott the Sheep. He is among my best people.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #summer #heat #sheep #comedyshow #friendship #mail #email

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: i have no idea what's going on i don't know if it's because it's summer i don't know if it's because it's so unbearably unbelievably hot but everything is falling apart around here i mean i can't remember the last time i got mail i can't remember the last time that i checked email that's more on me that's not really yeah really all i have to do for that like is click on the button so that's that's let's forget about that but things are falling apart like for serious hold on a second oh hey ma what's going on well that's your opinion but what i was talking about was well yeah i know but what i was talking about was that it's so hot like for instance yeah you have that wool um it's not a jacket yeah yeah it's uh what do you call that i know it's just your fur it's not fur it's wool i gotcha mott everybody i'm sure you know but mott's the sheep his name is mott the sheep um he is my he's he's really among my best people owls and the you didn't have to say that that's so nice but mott you know being a sheep and me complaining about the heat it's very convenient that he would show up today at the bumper podcast did i tell you where you were hi i'm natty bumper car and you're listening to the bumper podcast on bumper podcast.com no on my website yeah natty bumper car.com as i was saying you know what i'm gonna need some help if somebody could email me or send me some mail and tell me what a sheep's wool is called that'd be really great i mean i suppose by the time you get around to telling me that i could have looked it up on the searches i could have searched it out i could have hunted it down ah i could have done that as well but i just think it'd be more more fun if there was a little bit more interaction with the world well i'm interacting with you i know oh yeah oh matt and i did a show uh kind of a couple weeks ago and um it was it was nice yeah you did a great job he he actually wrote most of the material for the night i uh i just get up there and do the i do the talking exactly um getting back to our point mod no i think we should because we're almost out of time and if we don't get to our point then what are we gonna do we're just gonna

  • Bumperpodcast 41 – Trash Slug

    Bumperpodcast 41 – Trash Slug

    I talk about my new job . .. walking a dog. Then I notice that there isn’t anyone around to help me. Nobody at all.
    Is everyone on vacation?

    Is everyone hiding?

    Then the trash is gross.

    [Click the title to get to the episode!]

  • Bumperpodcast 40 – Kneecaps

    Bumperpodcast 40 – Kneecaps

    I like to go on stage and tell little jokes to people . . . but – now – people expect people to come to my shows . . . and I don’t know people – and people – and people – and people.

    I may lose a kneecap . . . aaaaaiiiiiggggghhhh!

    [Click the title to get to the episode!]


    About This Episode

    In this episode of Bumperpodcast, host Natty Bumpercar shares his anxieties about returning to stand-up comedy in a new city. Natty explains the challenges of booking shows when you don't know anyone locally, from cold-calling venues to meeting the dreaded audience quota requirements. He recounts a recent show where he talked about camels and expresses his mounting panic about a performance scheduled for that very night. With not enough people committed to attend, Natty humorously worries about potential consequences ranging from being turned away at the door to getting kneecapped. It's a relatable and funny look at the unglamorous side of pursuing comedy in unfamiliar territory.

    Memorable Quotes

    “I talked about camels sometimes you have to talk about camels you just have to”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “Are they gonna break my knees are they gonna turn me away at the door are they gonna kneecap me i don't want to be kneecapped i just want to go up and tell some silly stories”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #stand-upcomedy #performanceanxiety #comedyclubs #makingfriends #audiencerequirements #storytelling #camels

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: oh bumper podcast i have to tell you that i am in a fizzle today an absolute fizzle i'm fizzling out of my seat i can't stand it i i don't know if you guys knew this but i like to go on stage and tell jokes to people i like to go up and tell little stories little funny anecdotes little non sequiturs little uh asides and uh so i've been i've been lining up these shows up here where i live here in this place and it's different when i used to do these shows a long time ago not so long ago uh people would call me and they would say hey come to this place do some jokes and i would say of course and then i would get terrified my nervous uh stomach would get nervouser more nervous more nervouser is what it would happen uh but it was great because you know i it was the legwork was done for me here where i live i don't know people and so uh i have to go out and talk to these these people i don't know which means leaving headquarters and having to go and and meet people which is terrifying yes it is absolutely is that's fine because i've done it and i've i've i did a show a few weeks a while ago and it was great fun for me i don't know if anyone else enjoyed it i loved it i talked about camels sometimes you have to talk about camels you just have to uh and then after that i decided well i'm enjoying myself the ball is rolling so i start uh emailing people and calling these places and uh hey how do i get into your show i want to be on your show now and then shockingly these people they start they email me back and they say oh well natty bumper car we'd love for you to come to our show but you have to bring x number of people x being an integer i think it's called an integer i don't really know x being a number and so then i have to oh i gotta find people and then people to come to where i live is difficult and so now i'm having i'm emailing people back and i'm saying i all my people fell through what do i do and and then they i don't know what's gonna happen there's a show tonight this very night this very wednesday bumper podcast night that i'm supposed to do and i don't have enough people what's gonna happen are they gonna break my knees are they gonna uh turn me away at the door are they gonna are they gonna kneecap me i don't want to be kneecapped i just want to go up and tell some silly stories bumper podcast

  • Bumperpodcast 39 – Jelly

    Bumperpodcast 39 – Jelly

    Is it possible that there was mold in my jelly?

    What happens to people that get sick in June?

    Why am I dancing all around?

    These are some of the things that I babble about today – on the Bumperpodcast!

    [Click the title to get to the episode!]