Tag: Bumperpodcast

  • Bumperpodcast #142 – Hooray, studio!

    Bumperpodcast #142 – Hooray, studio!

    We are back in the Bumperpodcast Worldwide Studios – today – and Natty Bumpercar couldn’t be happier about it!

    Have you ever come home after a long absence? Let us know by sending an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com – because – we want to help you get home!

    So that you can eat your cookies!!!

    About This Episode

    Natty Bumpercar returns to the Bumperpodcast headquarters studio after 10,000 years away, promising moderately decent audio quality. In this solo episode, Natty displays his newly acquired certificate of expertise from the Mayor of Coffee Can Alley, which declares him an expert in "all things." He recounts a hilarious grocery store encounter where he attempts to use his general expertise certificate to explain produce organization to a confused shopper, with predictably awkward results. The episode showcases Natty's signature rambling humor and his tendency to confidently dispense questionable advice.

    Memorable Quotes

    “If we can strive every week to get even more moderately decent then I think that we are on the right track to go to the stars maybe to the moon.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “I have a certificate here… says right here natty bumper car is hereby certified by the mayor of coffee can alley as an expert in all things.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “She said uh you really don't know what you're talking about do you i said me of course not.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #expertise #certificates #groceryshopping #confidence #comedy #soloepisode

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: are well welcome to the bumper podcast it's me a pirate and i'm here to say to you what are you huh what are you doing in here i heard yes get out are you sure yes i'm positive get okay then thank you toodaloo toodaloo pirate hey everybody it's me natty bumper car and for the first time in 10 000 years i'm back in the bumper podcast headquarters studio which means you get to hear something that actually sounds moderately decent moderately decent oh boy that's right robot moderately decent and you know what if we can strive every week to get even more moderately decent then i think that we are on the right track to go to the stars maybe to the moon i don't know which one is closer i'm kind of guessing that the moon is so we want to go further than that we're going to go to the stars i'm going to stick with what i said at first we have potential bumper podcast listeners to go straight past the moon to the stars who's with me who wants to go on this ride i think you do i could see you smiling you didn't have to actually say yes here's the thing bumper podcast i natty bumper car am an expert reader of people's um body language of their physiology i don't know what that is necessarily frenology is that the thing with the bumps on the head i don't know but i'm an expert at it is what i'm trying to tell you i have a certificate here it is right here came in the mail says right here natty bumper car uh is hereby certified by the mayor of coffee can alley as an expert in all things so it's kind of a general uh certificate but that's fine you know you kind of take it for what it is i i applied for uh some more specific certificates but i wasn't able to get them i didn't qualify for them i suppose so i i got this general one and i kind of use it in a lot of different aspects of my life for instance i was in the grocery store just yesterday and i was in the vegetable aisle and there was uh there was a there was a shelf and it had tomatoes and apples and i think it was like a squash uh all kind of mixed together and this woman was she was very confused why are these things together why are they all on the same shelf and i said hold on a second here ma'am i can handle this i am an expert and the reason that they've done this is that these uh fruits and vegetables are simpatico and that they live together nicely and that they will stay fresh longer if they're next to each other the uh the nice lady looked at me kind of askew kind of askance not impressed with my line of jibber jabber and she said uh you really don't know what you're talking about do you i said me of course not

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  • Bumperpodcast #141 – Waffle

    Bumperpodcast #141 – Waffle

    Today on the Bumperpodcast, we get to hear a story about Waffle going to the carnival and some of the silliness that went on there.

    Have you ever had a snack with a puppy? Let us know by sending an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com – because – we’d love the recipe …

    To serve at our party!!!

    About This Episode

    In Bumperpodcast episode 141, host Natty Bumpercar shares a whimsical story about his friend Waffle who goes to the carnival with Butter Pat and Dollop of Syrup. Their day takes an unexpected turn when a rainbow being chased by a puppy causes a chaotic collision on the midway. The mishap leads to an unlikely friendship formed over a shared snack cake, with the group becoming lifelong pen pals. Natty then pivots to discussing social media, proposing that Pinterest users should be called "pen pals" and fantasizing about making money from his brilliant ideas. This episode showcases Natty's signature storytelling style, blending absurdist humor with commentary on modern life and friendship.

    Memorable Quotes

    “The other day I was talking to my friend Waffle and Waffle was telling me that he went to the carnival with his friends Butter Pat and Dollop of Syrup.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “How about the people who you're friends with on Pinterest should be called your pen pals. Write it down, mail it to them, we'll get our back pretty soon.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “My mattress is going to be so far off the ground because of all the dough that's stuffed underneath it.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #carnival #friendship #socialmedia #pinterest #storytelling #humor #money #puppies

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: hey bumper podcast it's natty bumper car me your pal in the place to be listening to the bumper podcast well wait i'm listening to it because i'm saying it i'm listening to myself say it and you're listening to me already having had said it say it what hey the other day i was talking to my friend waffle and waffle was telling me that he went to the carnival with his friends butter pat and dollop of syrup so waffle butter pat dollop of syrup go to the carnival right and they're wandering around the midway they're looking at all the rides they're deciding if they're going to get tickets or not they're doing what you do at a carnival they're getting themselves ready to have the best day ever then all of a sudden around the corner runs this rainbow a little rainbow you there's a rainbow running just running and he's being chased by a puppy you guys the puppy was chasing the rainbow bumped into waffle waffle slips on butter pat falls right into dollop of syrup oh you guys here's the thing the puppy stopped the uh the rainbow never even looked back uh the puppy had a delicious snack well because you asked me well because the puppy the puppy had a delicious snack well because the puppy had a delicious snack actually the reason he's chasing the rainbow is because the rainbow had uh had dropped his snack cake and so the puppy just went ahead and ate the snack cake what you were thinking that maybe the puppy had stopped and eaten waffle butter pat and dollop of syrup no way he actually shared some of the snack cake with those three so they all you know kind of became best of friends and they still to this day are all pen pals which is fun um hey here's look at why hey hey hey look at bumper carter's had an idea social media uh you guys have heard of this thing called pinterest pinterest uh how about the people who you're friends with on pinterest should be called your pen pals write it down mail it to them we'll get our back pretty soon i like it bumper podcast we're getting rich we're making money stacks of money stacks of dough stacks of cash pretty soon i mean my mattress is going to be so far off the ground because of all the dough that's stuffed underneath it what you don't stuff your money in the under your mattress what do you do the mason jar in the ground in the backyard well maybe some of us have backyards with a lot of roots and rocks in them so maybe we can't live the life of luxury that you have with the mason jars i would much rather sleep on a regular mattress with no money

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  • Bumperpodcast #140 – Birthday

    Bumperpodcast #140 – Birthday

    Natty Bumpercar is finally back with an all new Bumperpodcast – in which he talks excitedly about where he has been lately – and more importantly … His birthday!

    Have you ever had a birthday? Let us know by sending an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com

    Whoop! Whoop!

    About This Episode

    In this solo episode, Natty Bumpercar celebrates his birthday in characteristically chaotic fashion. He enthusiastically lists increasingly absurd birthday treats including cake soup, cake float, cake shake, and the tongue-twisting "cake cocktail." Natty reflects on his recent 850-mile road trip into "the belly of the beast," reveals he's recording on a new device that could send the show into space, and shares mundane yet hilarious life updates including eating four pieces of pizza and taking a shower that required removing an "exoskeleton of dirt" built up from fighting evil hordes. The episode showcases Natty's signature stream-of-consciousness comedy style as he invites listeners to join him on his metaphorical birthday cruise.

    Memorable Quotes

    “I'm gonna have a cake cocktail a cake cocktail is not going to defeat me no not today because it's my birthday and you won't win”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “It took me a half an hour just to get through the first layer of dirt. I had actually developed an exoskeleton of dirt which I used to fight off the evil hordes”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #birthday #cake #roadtrip #recordingequipment #streamofconsciousness #pizza #celebration

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: what is going on bumper podcast this is natty bumper car you're one you're only you're natty bumper car and i am talking to you on what day is it it's my birthday it's my birthday it's it's it's it's my birthday and i'm excited and i'm thrilled and i'm doing a dance and i'm eating a cupcake and i'm eating some cake and i'm eating some ice cream i'm eating a soda i'm having some juice and i'm gonna have some more cake and i might have cake soup and then i don't know i might have a cake float i might have a cake shake i'm gonna i'm just gonna have a cake gumbo i'm gonna have a cake cake a cake cake i'm gonna do that cakes jello like uh jello with some cake in it sounds gross i'm gonna do it uh parfait yeah uh cake cocktail cake cocktail i was trying to say like shrimp cocktail but then i said cake cake wow that is impossible to say cake cocktail i'm gonna have a cake cocktail a cake cocktail is not going to defeat me no not today because it's my birthday and you won't win you won't you won't do this to me cake cocktail wow that's so hard to say can you say it where have you been bumper podcast i'm so glad that you decided to show up on my birthday because i was sitting here all by myself all alone and no one was here where was i oh my gosh i've been so many places i went um on a drive and it was 850 miles and i was like oh my gosh i've been so many places and i was like into the middle of the country into the belly of the beast and um then i came back and now i'm here and i'm recording this bumper podcast on a new device so we're gonna see how it works out and see how it goes and where we will stop nobody knows but if it works and i am anticipating that it will be excited be very excited because um it could mean i don't know what it could mean the doors could just fly off this this rocket ship and we could be in space and we could run out of air and it might be the best thing that ever happened to us and who knows am i right so uh what else have i been doing i don't know i worked in my backyard that was not exciting i had a piece of pizza okay i had four pieces of pizza because pizza is delicious um i don't know i took a shower last week that was pretty exciting it took me and we're not even joking here a half an hour just to get through the first layer of uh of of dirt i had actually developed an exoskeleton of dirt uh which i used to fight off the evil hordes who were trying to do bad deeds the doers of bad deeds were put down by natty bumper car finally at last at once as forever birthday bumper car who's with me who's going on this cruise who's going on this ship please tell me it's you please

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  • Bumperpodcast #139 – Doodle Poodle

    Bumperpodcast #139 – Doodle Poodle

    Holy cow! What a treat … Today – Doodle Poodle stops by the Bumperpodcast to make some potentially awesome drawings.

    Oh – and hey! It looks like Voice Man came along for the trip as well – how about that?!

    Have you ever come along for the ride? Let us know by sending an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com – and we’ll give you some directions …

    To get to where you are going!!!

    About This Episode

    In this episode of Bumperpodcast, Doodle Poodle attempts to host the show's first ever drawing tutorial podcast, planning to guide listeners through creating a mountainscape doodle. However, his solo studio time is unexpectedly interrupted by the mysterious Voiceman, who insists on staying to observe. The awkward encounter escalates when Doodle Poodle lets out what he claims is a hiccup, but Voiceman identifies as a bark. Despite the uncomfortable tension and Voiceman's well-meaning but intrusive presence in the small studio, Doodle Poodle soldiers on with his drawing lesson plan, insisting listeners get their pencils ready.

    Memorable Quotes

    “I signed up on the call sheet, and it says, Doodle Poodle in the studio. All by himself, today, going to make some doodles, and out here you are.”

    — Doodle Poodle

    “That was not a hiccup, that was clearly a bark, Doodle Poodle.”

    — Voiceman

    “He's still talking. I'll do that. Don't you worry, voice man.”

    — Doodle Poodle

    Topics: #drawing #art #awkwardencounters #creativeprocess #studiomishaps #tutorials

    Featuring: Doodle Poodle

    Full Transcript

    Doodle Poodle: Hi everybody, it's me, Zoodle Poodle, and I'm here, I'm so excited, let's do the bumper podcast for you today, and what are we doing? Well, I am going to give you the first ever podcast by a poodle who tries to make some doodles. Today, what I'm going to do for you is a mountainscape, so does everybody have their pens? Pencils and pens out?

    Unknown: Hello there, Doodle Poodle, it's me, Voiceman.

    Doodle Poodle: Oh, hi, Voiceman.

    Unknown: Exactly, that's what I say. How are you doing? Good to see you.

    Doodle Poodle: Well, it's good to see you too. I didn't know you were going to be here. I had a studio all to myself. I signed up on the call sheet, and it says, Doodle Poodle in the studio. All by himself, today, going to make some doodles, and out here you are.

    Unknown: Yes, well, I figured I'd stop by to make sure that everything was going well. So, Doodle Poodle, what will you be doodling today?

    Doodle Poodle: Come on, Voiceman, you don't have to do that every time that I'm doodling. Sometimes, a Doodle Poodle. I want to go into the room, buy some soap, and make some drawings, but I have a little hiccup there, sorry.

    Unknown: That was not a hiccup, that was clearly a bark, Doodle Poodle. I don't know. Are you okay? And should I leave?

    Doodle Poodle: Oh, boy, did you ever just make it uncomfortable?

    Unknown: Oh, I didn't mean that. Yeah. No. Oh, I'm sorry. Yeah. Oh, dear.

    Doodle Poodle: Um, you know, you can stay if you want to. Really? It's in the corner. Okay.

    Unknown: It's a small room. It's a small room.

    Doodle Poodle: I need a lot of room, because what I told everybody who was listening today to the Bumper Podcast is that we're going to make some wondrous, fantabulous drawings of all sorts of stuff.

    Unknown: Well, I am thrilled to be here, then. I'll just be over in the corner. Oh, now, if you need me, just say, give us a shout, if you need me, okay?

    Doodle Poodle: He's still talking. I'll do that. Don't you worry, voice man. If I need you to help me make this drawing, then I'll call you. All right. Pencils out.

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  • Bumperpodcast #138 – Egg

    Bumperpodcast #138 – Egg

    Today was an exciting and thrilling day around Headquarters – because Natty Bumpercar laid an egg!

    Have you ever seen an egg? Let us know by sending an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com – and then we can swap recipes …

    I love to eat!!

    About This Episode

    In this delightfully absurd episode of Bumperpodcast, host Natty Bumpercar experiences an extraordinary morning when he lays a golden egg for the first time. While he's laid robin's egg blue eggs before, this golden egg presents new culinary possibilities. Natty enthusiastically walks listeners through his plan to make golden egg fried rice, sharing his detailed recipe including leftover rice, vegetables, toasted sesame oil, and soy sauce. The episode showcases Natty's signature rambling humor as he contemplates what to do with his unexpected golden gift. Fans of the show will enjoy this quintessentially quirky Bumperpodcast moment.

    Memorable Quotes

    “This morning I woke up and the weirdest thing happened, I laid an egg. Yeah that's right, I laid an egg. And the craziest part about it was that I laid a golden egg.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “It's like you've moved into a steakhouse and you're gonna live there for the rest of your life and I can't think of a better life than that.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #cooking #eggs #friedrice #recipes #absurdisthumor #goldeneggs #food

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: what is going on bumper podcast how are you doing today me i'm doing swell and why is that well this morning i woke up and the weirdest thing happened i laid an egg yeah that's right i laid an egg and the craziest part about it was that i laid a golden egg i mean i've laid eggs before ladies and gentlemen but normally they're robin's egg blue you know that nice blue color that robin's egg sometimes they're speckled but never before in my entire bumper car life have i ever laid a golden egg it's really it's it's a banner day it's the best day around headquarters that we've had in a long time ever since the moat froze over and we were able to um swim and ski no try again skate laps around headquarters uh that was really the best day until now now golden egg all right fine it's golden egg thursday golden day golden egg thursday hmm so now what am i gonna do with a golden egg i don't really know are you supposed to cook golden eggs how long does it keep in the fridge i don't know should i make golden egg salad i don't like golden egg salad i don't like egg salad at all maybe i should make you know what i should make i should make golden egg fried rice because there's nothing better in the world than golden egg fried rice the world than homemade fried rice if you know what you're doing and ladies and gentlemen you have to know at this point by this point that i do know what i'm doing bumper car hey who knows what he's doing bumper car bumper car hey who knows what he's doing bumper car that's right do you get all those bees sorry if they blew up in your ears um so what do you do fried rice you take uh rice that you made yesterday or the day before i don't know and it's in your fridge this is leftover rice just plain old white rice right you can do brown rice too i guess whatever kind of rice you have just as long as it's old i don't know why it's just because it's been sitting in the fridge and it's like i want to be used for something can you please put me in something and you're like of course i can rice because i you're delicious so then what do you do you um you put some uh oil like i use olive oil and then you put it in a frying pan and then you make it really hot and then you throw the rice in there and you let it all like sizzle sizzle pop sizzle sizzle pop and then i put it in the fridge i put green peas and onions and garlic and sometimes i put little carrots in there and then you here's the trick right a little bit of sesame oil what toasted sesame oil that's the trick and then toasted sesame seeds in there too and then the golden egg will go in and i guess the soy sauce sometimes i'll put just a little splash of teriyaki sauce in there too and it really it's like you've moved into a steakhouse and you're gonna live there for the rest of your life and i can't think of a better life than that so golden egg thank you for my new life

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