Tag: Beach

  • Bumperpodcast #145 – Once bitten

    Bumperpodcast #145 – Once bitten

    Bumpercar just got back from vacation and still has that slow vacation drawl about him … But don’t you worry about a boring episode – because there is real danger to hear about … Are you ready?

    Are you ever really ready? Let us know by sending an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com – because – we are taking a head-count

    A head-count!!!


    About This Episode

    Natty Bumpercar returns from vacation with stories about his beach adventures in this episode of the Bumperpodcast. He shares tales of baby Bumpercar learning to swim with multiple floaties, a terrifying news story about a great white shark attacking a seal near their beach, and the time his son got stung by a jellyfish. Natty contemplates carrying a billy club to intimidate sharks and reflects on the dangers lurking in seemingly peaceful ocean waters. The episode captures the mix of joy and anxiety that comes with family beach vacations, delivered in Natty's signature rambling, humorous style.

    Memorable Quotes

    “I'm gonna carry a billy club… and i'll swing it around like an old keystone cop just to intimidate the sharks. This is my beat, this is my beach.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “He has floaty on his arm floaty on his arm floaty on his chest so i mean you know he's swimming but he's really just doing a lot of floating.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “Great white shark like basically a dinosaur who floats around in the water attacked a seal terrifying terrifying terrifying.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #vacation #beach #swimming #sharks #parenting #oceansafety #jellyfish

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: so there i am sitting on the beach just watching the waves coming and going had some sand in my toes had some beach grass at my back had a couple of uh sand fleas hopping around you know like check me out horsefly landed on my foot took a big chunk out ladies and gentlemen i gotta tell you i just had a vacation and it was maybe the best time ever ever i don't know baby bumper car swims now look at you in the water swimming pretty cool pretty impressive i couldn't swim when i was three and he's not even three all right he has a floaty he has a serious floaty he has floaty on his arm floaty on his arm floaty on his chest so i mean you know he's swimming but he's really just doing a lot of floating but he's still it's pretty impressive to me especially when you consider that i saw a story not one day after we came back to headquarters that told me that the island that was just over there so close to where we were staying well ladies and gentlemen hope you are on the edge of your seats hope you're sitting down hope you have socks on not my dog not irving brown socks that old gag but here's the thing i just heard a horn i don't know how i heard a horn i don't know what just happened i'm in the car i'm recording this as i drive i'm safe it's fine relax calm down island off the island where we were staying seal attacked great white shark great white shark like basically a dinosaur who floats around in the water attacked a seal terrifying terrifying terrifying yeah so now if i ever go back up there uh and i'm gonna go in the water here's what i'm gonna do i'm gonna carry a billy club because uh i don't i you know i don't like guns they're terrifying uh knives in the water i feel like they're gonna rust but a billy club yeah i don't like guns they're terrifying uh knives in the water i feel like they're gonna i can handle that and i'll swing it around like uh an old keystone cop i can do that just to intimidate the sharks just let them know hey this is my beat you know this is my beach i want you to stay out there i have kids who are swimming here i need you mr shark to go over there another thing you know speaking of getting bit by a shark uh the kid he got bit by a jellyfish a jelly he was in the water swimming around having a blast having a time of his life look at me dada so much fun and then he starts screaming screaming crying screaming crying out what's the matter is the water too cold too coldy too coldy dada no it wasn't too coldy he got bit by a jellyfish

  • Bumperpodcast 96

    Bumperpodcast 96

    Back from vactation full of both vim and vigor and energy and spunk! Natty has one of those tangental days that seem to happen from time to time …

    Where will we go? What will we talk about? You’ll find out on todays episode of the Bumperpodcast.

    Wanna email us? Please do at Bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com

    [podpress]


    About This Episode

    Natty Bumpercar returns from his beach vacation with hilarious observations about semantics, rickety stairs, and the mysteries of nature. In this characteristically rambling episode, Natty discusses the importance of saying what you mean (are you going DOWN to the beach or just OVER to the beach?), ponders why stairs deteriorate while grass bounces back, and makes an unexpectedly funny comparison between the smell of fresh-cut grass and fresh-cut hair. The episode takes several delightful tangents as Natty's train of thought leads him from beach vacations to lawn care to beauty salons, ending with the bizarre realization that thinking about haircuts is making him hungry.

    Memorable Quotes

    “I'm a stickler for semantics. I'm a stickler for what you say better be true because if it's not true then I'm gonna know it and I'm gonna come at you hard and fast.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “Fresh-cut grass smells delicious. Not delicious, necessarily, but it smells wonderful. And this is creepy. This fresh-cut hair. I'm so glad that it doesn't smell like anything.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “Right now, I'm thinking about getting my hair cut, and for some reason, it's making me very hungry.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #vacation #beach #semantics #nature #grass #haircuts #randomobservations

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: yes yes yes yes bumper podcast i am back for my vacation my staycation my heycation how's it going well it was awesome i went to the beach and there was sand and there was water and there was seaweed and there were seabirds and there were dunes and there was um there was a stairwell that you would take down to the beach it's like you would literally say i'm going down to the beach it wasn't like you know when you're staying at some places and like you just walk across the street to the beach or whatever like and you're just like i'm going down to the beach and you're really just walking over to the beach that's different that's very different i me i'm a stickler for semantics i'm a stickler for what you say better be true because if it's not true then i'm gonna know it and i'm gonna come at you hard and fast and i'm gonna get you i'm gonna say what did you just say you're going down to the beach no you're not beach is over there i'm going to the beach straight line you're going over to the beach my friend anyway i went down to the beach down the stairs and i gotta tell you i went to the same place last year the stairs a little bit more rickety this year why do stairs get rickety what do they do they're just there they're not doing anything i mean i guess people are walking on them and stuff but people walk on all kinds of stuff all the time for instance grass people walk on grass all the time and what does grass do while it's getting walked on it just kind of it lays back it's like hey i'm here but i'm fine you know i'm relaxed and i'm gonna chill out and the step goes by and then all of a sudden the grass is like hey i'm back look at me i'm grass i'm i'm feeling pretty spry today I'm feeling pretty green and grassy. Oh, no, here comes the lawnmower. Oh, no, I smell wonderful. I smell like fresh-cut grass. All right, I know we're getting a little bit tangential today. I was supposed to be telling you about my bumper vacation, which is not what we're calling it. But fresh-cut grass smells delicious. Not delicious, necessarily, but it smells wonderful. And this is creepy. This fresh-cut hair. I'm so glad that it doesn't smell like anything. Like, if you walk into a salon, for instance, wherever you get your hair cut, you know, if you walked into your beauty salon, and people were getting their hair cut, and you were just like, oh, my gosh, marshmallows. This place smells like blueberries. Blueberries and marshmallows. You know what? This is weird. I'm guessing this has never been said, Bumper Podcast, but right now, I'm thinking about getting my hair cut, and for some reason, it's making me very hungry.