Recently – in the mail – I received an invitation to a very special event. It was to be an exclusive black tie affair . . . A black tie taco affair that is. And as all of you may as well know – most marketing campaigns for gimmick products are usually – specifically built with the sole intention of getting my hard earned cash. Pepsi Clear? Yeah, I did that. All 500 Dorito varietals? Yep, I’ve eaten them. The Baconator at Wendy’s? I think we both know that the answer is that I definitely ate one – maybe two – and can now move on with the review.
So – where was I? Ah yes – A black taco?! How could I possibly resist? I already knew that the Volcano taco was one of the better inventions of this young century . . . So why wouldn’t it’s darker – classier taco cousin see the taste pot – and then push all of it’s (tortilla) chips into the center of the table – just to see what kind of cards I was sitting behind?
Are you with me? Am I making sense? When I first saw the commercial for the Black Jack taco – I knew that it would be mine – and then within 14 hours – it was. A quick aside. All that I got from the commercial was that I should have been dressy and that the shell of the taco was black . . . that was it. I was going in with an open mind.
So – what did I think? Well – the shell looked great. It was as black as midnight and was filled with the traditional Taco Bell fillings of ground beef (perhaps it was spicy ground beef), lettuce and cheese. But it differed in a couple of ways. The cheese was white and it also had some sort of white sauce in it- which I guessed would be a ranch sauce. Black and white. This taco was a dichotomy. I was about to eat the Yin and the Yang of taco treats!
Then I took a bite – and my impress turned to distress. This was no ranch sauce . . . It was a pepper jack sauce and the cheese was also pepper jack. It was right there in the name – and I hadn’t given it any thought. I had just found out that I had no idea what I was eating. Then other questions started to sprout up – like why was I eating it – in a tuxedo – and where was I anyway!?
My mind had been blown – in a crummy way. The tastes were all wonky. The pepper jack sauce overpowered everything and made it taste ucky. I didn’t want a cream sauce on my processed spicy ground beef. I just didn’t. Although – I did tip my hat to the whole name thing – and it being tied in with the cheese . . . I was more of the opinion that they should have stuck with the pepper jack cheese – and if they absolutely had to have a white sauce – then drop some white queso dip on there . . . I would have bought stock in the company, filled out an application and married Socks the dog to the kings least appealing schnauzer for the betterment of the state – if that would have happened.
However – it didn’t happen. So – I got rid of the rest of my failure of a Black Jack taco and mauled the Volcano taco that I had waiting in the wings. While eating my Volcano – I patted myself on the back (after vigorously cleaning my hands – so as to not get grease on my monkey suit) – at my prescience at saving the good taco for second . . . Thereby saving what could have been a disaster of a lunch. Yay me.
Before eating . . . I did force the Volcano to lay on a crumpled wrapper of ill repute with my Black Jack taco . . . It was like good taco cop/bad taco cop. But then it got me thinking that it could be called the University of Georgia taco combo (their colors are red & black) – or the Falcon’s taco combo (their colors might also be red & black – maybe). My people (Socks) have assured me that we are talking to their to make this a reality . . . and if it happens – then . . . trucks . . . of . . . money . . . will . . . be . . . at . . . my . . . door. What?!
If you feel like the dog of this review doesn’t hunt . . . Or are just itching to find out for yourself – then you will be thrilled to know that tomorrow – Halloween – October 31st between 6 pm and midnight (which is the witching hour for tacos) – you can put on your tuxedo (or bell of the ball gown) and saunter in to your local Taco Bell and get a Black Jack taco for free. If you do partake in this I do recommend having some sort of backup plan in place . . . or – maybe – see if you can get it without the crummy sauce . . . I think that may be what I’m doing . . . Let’s start a sauce revolution!