Stuff the first:
• I’ve been doing a lot of sneezing lately. But not the kind of sneezing that most humans are used to. I am talking crazy ten in a row seeing spots in front of my eyes – when will this end – types of sneezing. To make it stop – I gargle with Listerine (mostly because it kind of hurts – and I want my sneezing mechanisms to feel the pain that they are putting me through) and then I snort water up my nose (which I only recommend if you are interested in partially drowning yourself). The sneezing then tends to stop. Until it all starts over again.

Stuff the second:
• Today – while coming back from a walk – Socks was caught scooting along behind me. When I turned around to see what he was doing – he actually looked ashamed – turned his eyes away and hopped up to start walking again. I had to explain to him that I would much rather that he drag his tiny dog butt outside on the grass than on my pillow. That would be a fireable offense.

Stuff the third:
• There is a house down the street with a monster of a dog. It freaks out everytime we walk down the road. The owner-lady was out in the yard today and she used the old “He’s really big – but believe me – he’s a sweetheart.” and then she threw in the old standby of “His bark is much worse than he is.” Okay – so she mixed the old standby up a smidge – who among us hasn’t?!
Anyway – it got me thinking – do all animal owners think that their puppies are inherently as sweet as pie? Would they think that way if they owned a badger – or a King Cobra – or a Puma – or whatever? “Oh look at how adorable my pet Hyena Freckles is . . . he just gutted your dog . . . Oh – but it’s okay – they are just playing around!”