Standing in a Line (Part 1)
Iâ€™m not exactly what kind of cloud I was sitting under when I was struck with the ludicrous idea to get up super-duper early, drop the dog off at a boarding facility, hop onto the train and wait in the cold for 7 1/2 (seven and a half) hours to go in and try to get onto a television show . . . but I wish that I did know â€“ so that I could â€“ at all costs â€“ avoid sitting under that cloud the next time that it bothered to blow into my air space.
What am I talking about? Well â€“ friends â€“ a couple of weeks ago I heard about auditions to get onto â€œLast Comic Standingâ€ â€“ that show where people go and tell jokes about things â€“ and are all about making the funny happen like little rainbows in the sky after a brisk morning shower. It has taken me this long to gather my bearings to write about it. It wasnâ€™t the best experience in the world.
I will reserve saying anything bad about all but one person â€“ mostly because they all stood outside with me for such an interminable amount of time â€“ and got the same short shrift that I was served with â€“ on a cold (cold) plate. I really shied away from talking to people as much as I could â€“ but was inevitably drawn into conversations as the hours went by. There was one guy who was there because his â€œkids wanted (me) to do it,â€ another who literally didnâ€™t stop talking the entire time and who directed most of his talking at any woman that walked within earshot (the rest of his talking involved telling â€“ the same â€“ jokes over and over throughout the day for anyone who would listen), there was a guy who had been on the same train that I had taken in (he wanted to bond over it â€“ and I was just too cold and tired to bond), a guy who had driven all the way from Boston (He was my favorite â€“ he was low key â€“ I tapped him on the shoulder as an act of solidarity when I left), a girl wearing a shirt that said â€œIâ€™m something special!â€ or something like that â€“ maybe it was â€œIâ€™m a big thing!â€ or something else â€“ she was 22 (twenty-two) and talked a bunch about her regular gigs and sets around the city (I was probably jealous â€“ as I have no regular gigs) and 350 (three hundred and fifty) other people who were there to get their 2 (two) minutes to be as funny as they could be.
The prospect was ugly.
(Part 2 comes tomorrow – I just didn’t quite finish it yet . . . hold them horses)