Drive-by pudding plaguing Montclair

Late last night – I was walking Mister Irving Brown Socks – excuse me – Uncle Mister Irving Brown Socks – around the block – for his late-nighter.

We had stopped so that he could check out some smell or another – when – all a sudden – out of nowhere – a car zoomed by super-fast. Cars tend to do that all of the time around these parts – so I only thought about it for a hot second (or so).

Well – in that hot second (or so) – everything in the world changed. I heard cackling – felt something hit me in the back of the head – and then looked to the down to see two chocolate pudding containers – their contents splattered all about – lying on the ground. Before I could react at all – the shrieking cackles had faded into the distance.

As I stood there trying to figure out what in the bananas had just happened – I gave myself a bit of a patdown to see where I had been hit. It was at that point that Uncle Irv came over and started licking my boot. He is very helpful.

Let this be a lesson to walkers out there . . . They have pudding and they will use it indescriminantly and with no provocation.

Let this also be a warning to those with pudding who cackle and drive Jeep Cherokees . . . I have eggs – and I am very confident that I know how to use them . . . I scramble them with cheese.