Category: Bumperpodcast

So here I sit. In my castle. Whiling my time away. I can get a mite bored – so I talk to my dog – but he usually doesn’t have much to say. So now I talk to a mic – because that’s less crazy – and it’s easy to convince myself that I am just procrastinating . . . and not being lazy. So – thanks for the listen – you get a gold star. Hopefully you will enjoy what you hear. Hardy-har-har-har.

  • Bumperpodcast #4

    Bumperpodcast #4

    From a far off land . . . An interview – about a purple cat and a dog named Grass Clippings.

    Hmmmmm . . . .

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    About This Episode

    In this episode of Bumperpodcast, host Natty Bumpercar presents a special field interview recorded with reduced audio quality. The episode features a delightful conversation about pets with colorful characteristics. The discussion centers on a gray cat named My Toe, a possibly imaginary purple cat called Eggplant, and Natty's supposedly green dog named Grass Clippings. The improvisational interview explores the whimsical world of oddly-colored pets and the challenges of naming them, with playful banter about whether these fantastic creatures actually exist. This marks part one of what Natty promises will be a multi-part interview series.

    Memorable Quotes

    “I call the purple cat eggplant. I say come here eggplant it's time to eat, and then eggplant comes running down the hall to me all purple.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “I could have named him grass clippings. It's a hard name sometimes when we go to the dog park all the other dogs make fun of them.”

    — Unknown

    Topics: #cats #pets #interviews #imagination #animals #comedy #naming

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: welcome to the bumper podcast i can't believe you came back again i love it i love it i love it i love it i love it today due to overwhelming demand because of our special guest last week moth the sheep we decided to get somebody else on the show this time it's a little bit different though we traveled far away without our audio equipment so i apologize for the quality of the sound and we did an interview and it's about a cat and it's very exciting and i think you're gonna love it so let's go listen to it all right have you been hanging out with a cat while you

    Unknown: were here no you haven't seen a cat yeah what's the cat's name my toe my toe what color is my toe gray gray she's not she was purple no she's gray because i saw a purple cat running around here oh she's gray okay so the gray one's name is my toe yeah what do you know the name of the purple one no oh i don't either she doesn't and the girl doesn't have a purple cat i i call the purple cat eggplant you

    Natty Bumpercar: I say come here eggplant it's time to eat

    Unknown: yeah and then eggplant comes running down the hall to me all purple no i'm just telling the truth no i'm just telling you how it is no what do you think doesn't have a purple cat oh oh did you know i have a green dog no yeah are you kidding no he's green no you're kidding he's he's bright green i named him grass clippings it's a hard name sometimes when we go to the dog park all the other dogs make fun of them and i say don't make fun of my dog grass clippings he's the sweetest dog who's ever been because he's green grass i could have named him froggy why because frogs are green name him froggy so i should change his name yeah do you think you'll know his name if i change it yeah okay all right

    Natty Bumpercar: and that concludes part one of the riveting interview that one was about cats part two might be about something completely different don't forget email us nattybumperpodcast at nattybumpercar.com we'll see you next week

  • Bumperpodcast #3

    Bumperpodcast #3

    We have our first very special – in-house guest . . . A long lost pal.

    What a treat!

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    About This Episode

    In this episode of Bumperpodcast, host Natty Bumpercar starts feeling lonely at the desk before being surprised by the arrival of Mott the Sheep, his long-lost collaborator. Natty reminisces about their comedy partnership, revealing that Mott was once his head writer who crafted all the jokes for their stage performances. The reunion is both nostalgic and slightly awkward as they dance around past tensions. Mott performs a song for the show, marking a memorable comeback. This short, improvised episode showcases the spontaneous humor and puppet character dynamics that make Bumperpodcast unique.

    Memorable Quotes

    “We used to go on stage, and we used to wreck it. We used to make the people not laugh.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “He was my head writer. I actually didn't… I mean, I didn't do any writing.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #comedywriting #friendship #reunion #nostalgia #performance #music #collaboration

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar, Mott the Sheep

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: I know it's a terrible way to start a show, but I just get so lonely around here sometimes. The Sox isn't even here, and I'm just at the desk doing this show, and I'm all by myself, and… Whoop. Who's that? Hello? Who's that?

    Mott the Sheep: Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Yeah. Uh-huh.

    Natty Bumpercar: Oh. Well, we have a treat. We… What a turnaround. This show, we have you a treat. We have you a treat. We have you a treat. And that treat's name is Mott the Sheep. That's right, my favorite sheep, Mott the Sheep. Yeah, you are my favorite. So, Mott and I, we go way back. I hadn't seen you in a long time, Pallyboy. Where you been? You've been laughing it up, huh? Remember, you used to come… Mott and I, we used to go on stage, and we used to wreck it. We used to make the people not laugh. We didn't laugh so much, but… Yes. They were kind of confused, because… Okay. So, Mott's whole thing was that he was my… I guess, like, behind the scenes, he was my writer. He was my head writer. And, yeah, he wrote all the jokes. I actually didn't… I mean, I didn't do any writing. And then… You know…

    Mott the Sheep: Yeah.

    Natty Bumpercar: Well, I mean… Yeah, but that's only part of the story, Mott. And I think what people… You know, here's the thing. They don't know who you are. You hadn't been around in a long time. And so, it's a little confusing for people, but…

    Mott the Sheep: Yeah.

    Natty Bumpercar: We don't have to get… Come on, we don't have to get into that. No. In front of… Come on. All right. This is a happy little show we do every week. The Bumper Podcast. People send in their emails. We won't talk about them now because we got this big guest. People have suggestions. Last week, we had a stack of suggestions. One week? Talked about bears. I know. Well… Did you, uh… Want to give us anything? Well, okay. So, what did you have? Did you have, like, a little… Really? A song. Well, I'd love to hear it. Play it up. Play it up, player. Yeah.

    Unknown: Yeah.

    Natty Bumpercar: Well, that's been Bumper Podcast for this week. We had a special guest. A tremendous special guest. We're at 320. Gotta go!

  • Bumperpodcast #2

    Bumperpodcast #2

    From a snail – who brought some mail – we have a pile of suggestions . . .

    We are working on things!

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    About This Episode

    In episode 2 of Bumperpodcast, host Natty Bumpercar responds to listener feedback from the suggestion box. He addresses requests to "make it funnier" by explaining he's not in charge of the comedy—that's the writers' job. Natty also tackles the "less bears" suggestion by promising to avoid bear talk going forward, except for a quick shout-out to the bear nation. The episode humorously highlights the challenges of hosting a topical comedy podcast while managing audience expectations. Despite talking for several minutes, Natty admits he hasn't really discussed anything substantial yet, perfectly capturing the show's improvisational and absurdist charm.

    Memorable Quotes

    “I am not the one who is in charge of the funny. I am just the voice. There's other there's writer this is an organization there are writers in the background.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “What's going on bears how you doing out there? That's it just like that.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “I realize I'm already at this thing three minutes last week 6 40 I haven't talked about anything except for these suggestions.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #listenerfeedback #comedy #bears #podcastproduction #metahumor #improvisation

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: oh oh oh i i have a question my hand is raised i'm right over here i think you should probably hello hello yes thank you um i'm so thrilled that you're back you came back to listen to this thing again and that's that shows gumption what's that that wasn't a question all right well just take it for what it is so here we have welcome back this this is a load of papers suggestions that came into the suggestion box via snail mail uh probably people i guess tracked me down i don't know this was just on my desk stack of papers um from the last show the first show people were saying uh there's one we have here up top it just says make it funnier and clearly i i that's out of my hands i i am not the one who is in charge of the funny uh i am just the voice there's other there's writer this is a an organization there are writers in the background there are people giving me topics there are people saying hey this week i want you to talk about this this week i want you to make fun of this current event because you're topical we want this thing to be topical and we want people to know that you're on the cutting edge of what's going on in the world today so make it funnier i should talk to my producers about that uh this one was easy the second one less bears i won't i told you last time i it was a tangent i didn't mean to talk about bears but i did so this time i'm going to talk about bears and i'm going to talk about bears and i'm going to talk about bears and i'm going to talk about bears and i'm going to talk about bears and i'm going to and moving forward i'm guessing unless we get some sort of exclusive interview with a bear that there won't there won't be anything about bears at all i mean you know maybe a little nod to the bear bear bear nation the bear world but other than that that's it what's going on bears how you doing out there that's it just like that um a lot let's see oh i don't i don't i don't i don't not want you guys to get excited because there are not there are many not many exciting surprises that are coming i realize i'm already at this thing three minutes last week 6 40 i haven't talked about anything except for these suggestions if you want to send more suggestions send them to bumper podcast at natty bumper car because we're legit we're too legit next week i might actually talk about something but honestly between you and me i can't promise anything all right

    Unknown: you you you you you you you you you you you you early by early by

  • Bumperpodcast #1

    Bumperpodcast #1

    It’s our very first bumperpodcast!!

    Hopefully it’ll be swell . . .

    Too bad about all of the bears.

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    About This Episode

    In the very first episode of Bumperpodcast, host Natty Bumpercar launches the show with an unexpected rant about animated bears in toilet paper commercials. Natty expresses frustration with having "too much toilet paper information" (or TMTPI) forced upon viewers through advertising. The rambling, stream-of-consciousness monologue touches on everything from his sleeping fact checker to his dog who apparently laughs, cries, and occasionally has accidents in bed. This inaugural three-minute episode sets the tone for the podcast's absurdist humor and Natty's unique comedic perspective on everyday annoyances.

    Memorable Quotes

    “I have to tell you guys I can't deal there's bears and they're red bears and they're animated bears and I have to know their toilet paper preference and I don't like that.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “One time I made him laugh so much he actually peed just a little bit, which was funny. I then laughed until I realized he was still in bed. And that's my bed.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “We have nowhere to go, my friends. But laterally. And quickly. Lateral quickness.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #toiletpaper #commercials #advertising #bears #dogs #firstepisode #rants

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: all right before i even get started i guess i'm gonna i'm gonna switch gears and i this is i have a i'm going to tell you something uh very very serious and um you know follow with me if you want to if you want to wait for the funny stuff well then clearly you're not in the right spot but i have to tell you guys i can't i can't deal there's television on and i can't deal there's bears and they're they're red bears and they're animated bears and i have to know their toilet paper preference and i don't like that i don't i don't want to know bears i think it's something personal that you should not show me and i don't want you dancing around in capes i don't want you uh rubbing yourself on trees i mean i i have a tevo so i try to i scoot past commercials but sometimes i'm powerless to do so like right now and and then then there's the bears like this polygrip i'm fine your teeth need they stick them but bears i don't i don't wanna i don't wanna oh i'm just doing this because like i'm you know i'm gonna tell a funny little story a little anecdote a little so okay and i'm talking i started uh with bears i'm very i'm very i'm obviously you can hear from the sound of my voice the the tenor i think if it's uh i think it's the tenor uh that all right i looked i looked over to my fact checker he gave and he's asleep on the floor so we're gonna go with tenor of my voice you can't see my eyes but they're they're bugging out because i'm so i'm so anytime i see these bears and i see them in billboards i go to stores i see the bears and but i and i don't i don't i walk away i turn around and i say there's a situation i don't want to be involved in there's there are some bears that i don't need to meet i don't need them to be my friends i don't need to run in the same social circles as these bears because they have a problem that i like to call um i was i think it's tmi but i was trying to make it that's what so that's too much information and i was trying to to t tpi is what i if i is what i call it and if i could rewind i would do it but it's uh uh they have a condition let's pretend that last day they have a condition that i like to call tpi toilet paper information tmtpi too much toilet paper information tmtpi why is that's this that's just me saying why at the end of tmtpi because i don't want to know about it so three minutes like is all i want to give you it's all i want to tax your time for is three tiny minutes and normally i'm not going to talk about bears normally i'm not going to i'm not going to give you anagrams about toilet paper anagrams about i think they're anagrams normally my foot is not going to fall asleep Because that's what's happened, and I'm in such a position that I can't, even if I wanted to stop, and I don't. Because I am talking about some things right now that need to be talked about. I would, wait, I lost my bears, toilet paper, my foot's asleep, can't move. Three minutes. I'm going to try it. I mean, like, I want to do it every week. I usually have funny stories. I don't know that they're funny, but here's what I do know. You know, my dog, and people say not capable of laughter or smiles or tears. My dog is, of all three things. And what I do sometimes with stories is I'll make him chuckle just a little bit, just a little, like, snicker. And then I'm going to make him cry a little bit because, you know, we're going to work in pathos. And then I never want to leave the crowd on a down note. And so then I just make him rip, roar, and just laugh. One time, this is, like, last week, I made him laugh so much. And this is a little embarrassing for him, but he's asleep. And he actually peed just a little bit, which was funny. I then laughed until I realized he was still in bed. And that's my bed. And then it wasn't funny anymore. I didn't like it. I didn't like it one bit. So here's the thing. Three minutes every week. I think Wednesday's a nice day. You know, we have snowflakes on Mondays and Fridays. What? That's news to me. Is that news to you? Yeah, well, we'll see how that works out. It doesn't have a name yet. It doesn't have a lot of things. It doesn't have a point. But you know where you can find it. You know where you can listen to it. And you know. You will love it. Right? I mean, I don't know. Maybe you don't. I do. I'm having a blast right now. Because I don't really talk to anyone all day. And I miss you. Each and every one. Oh, yeah. This is obviously going. This is going to be great. Because we have nowhere to go, my friends. But laterally. And quickly. Lateral quickness.