Category: Bumperpodcast

So here I sit. In my castle. Whiling my time away. I can get a mite bored – so I talk to my dog – but he usually doesn’t have much to say. So now I talk to a mic – because that’s less crazy – and it’s easy to convince myself that I am just procrastinating . . . and not being lazy. So – thanks for the listen – you get a gold star. Hopefully you will enjoy what you hear. Hardy-har-har-har.

  • Bumperpodcast #28 – The Sickness

    Bumperpodcast #28 – The Sickness

    Sooooooo sickly . . . Everyone had been hobbled by the funk. Now figers are being pointed. Fingers are being waggled.
    It is a rough scene.

    **cough** **cough** **cough**

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    About This Episode

    In episode 28 of the Bumperpodcast, host Natty Bumpercar records while battling a terrible cold that has infected the entire household. Between labored breathing and cold medicine-induced confusion, Natty rambles about the mysterious origins of the illness and whether the baby brought it home. The episode features Natty's signature stream-of-consciousness style as he struggles through foggy thinking, missed trains of thought, and the universal truth that when the baby is sick, nobody sleeps. This deliriously funny episode captures what it's like to parent while feeling completely miserable.

    Memorable Quotes

    “I have to breathe to stay alive. It's one of my little defects. A lot of you guys out there don't have to breathe to stay alive but I do.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “I am on the platform at the train station at the train of thoughts train station and I just saw the train roll off. I have my ticket and I missed it.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “When the baby's sick nobody sleeps. Nobody. No one. Know how. No sleep bumper podcast.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #illness #parenting #coldmedicine #sleepdeprivation #babies #rambling #sickness

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: oh the sickness has gotten this bumper podcast it's it's in the house we couldn't stop it we had the windows open we had the windows shut we had doors and then i don't go outside i don't talk to people i don't even i don't even talk to people the first one was i don't see people the second one was i don't talk to people how do i get sick do you hear my nose it's i can't breathe i have to breathe to stay alive it's a known fact natty bumper car has to breathe to stay alive it's one of my little defects a lot of you guys out there don't have to breathe to stay alive but i do and now when this is done i'm not the only one who's sick is sick and now there's finger pointing there's finger waggling people are waggling their fingers at each other because they're saying what did did the baby get us all sick well he's a baby he doesn't go outside was it the mommy who got us sick we don't really use the term mommy and daddy at this point we're just like hey you yes you pick up that baby we're very general around the house we don't want to put labels on anything we don't want to put labels on anything we don't want to you know start saying you're you're the mom you're the dad because you know bumper podcast let's be frank we're not really sure about any of it not well hold on we're sure about who's what and who's who i should point that out oh i've gotten confused bumper podcast i have to say cold medicine is deliriously delir silly if i stuff it not it knocks you on your mental tuchus which is where i am and now i've completely lost my train of thought i am on the platform at the train station at the train of thoughts train station and i just saw the train roll off i have my ticket i paid for a ticket i have my ticket and i and i missed it i missed the train did i mention that i'm sick i don't do well when i'm sick bumper podcast i i wallow in sickness i fail in sickness i want to go to sleep so bad but the baby's sick and when the baby's sick nobody sleeps nobody no one know how no sleep bumper podcast

  • Bumperpodcast #27 – Moving Violation

    Bumperpodcast #27 – Moving Violation

    Breaking the law . . . Recording a moving Bumperpodcast?! Whoa nelly . . . this is something that you’ve gott to hear!

    This Bumperpodcast is a total . . . moving . . . violation.  Maybe?!

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    About This Episode

    Natty Bumpercar takes the Bumperpodcast on the road in this unique mobile episode. While navigating traffic, stuck behind a bus full of high school teenagers, and using his blinker, Natty attempts to figure out how many days it's been since the last episode. He shares his philosophy about driving wherever the roads take him, debates whether it's been seven or eight days, and teaches listeners the official Bumperpodcast driving song that goes "boom chaka boom." This improvised road trip episode captures Natty talking to himself in the car, confusing day counting, and the chaos of recording a podcast while operating a vehicle.

    Memorable Quotes

    “I'm driving to where the roads take me sir or ma'am i can't see you again how did you get into my car”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “That's like calling the lift the elevator what no sir”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “The song that we sing when we're driving down the street goes boom chaka boom chaka boom chaka boom”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #driving #roadtrip #traffic #time #music #improvisation

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: dear bumper podcast today we're on the road we're driving and making a bumper podcast and why you may be wondering why are we driving why aren't we at home why aren't we recording a normal bumper podcast well i don't have answers for all of those questions and a and two that's a lot of questions to ask a guy when he's trying to drive you know i'm driving down a road with other cars i can't be filling out your form you're uh-oh we're stuck behind a bus a bus of teenagers high school teenagers i think they're looking at us i think they see us talking to ourselves oh no bumper podcast we're not gonna make it we're not gonna make it we're not gonna make it driving along singing a song driving along singing a song driving along singing a song probably about to get home a lot of times when i'm driving people like to say to me um hey nutty bumper car and i say yes yes how did you get in my car and they say where are you driving to and i say i'm driving to where the roads take me sir or ma'am i can't see you again how did you get into my car we wanted to say something to you guys because we miss you it's been six whole days or wait how does that work is it wednesday to wednesday there's seven days in a week so you say wednesday one tuesday two wait wednesday one two no i think it's been seven days wednesday one thursday two friday three saturday four sunday five monday six tuesday seven wednesday eight it's been eight days no that's impossible i think it's been seven days because you don't count the original wednesday because we actually talked on wednesday right so i want everyone to know that i'm using my blinker right now because i'm taking a right sometimes i've heard people refer to blinkers as directionals that doesn't make any sense to me that's like calling the lift the elevator what no sir here we are bumper podcast me and you breaking the law driving down the road driving down the road boom chaka boom boom boom chaka boom boom boom chaka boom boom boom that is the song that we sing when we're driving down the street it goes boom chaka boom chaka boom chaka boom boom chaka boom chaka boom that's the song oh traffic now we're in traffic next week we'll make a little bit more sense we almost promise thanks for listening to the bumper podcast see you in eight days seven oh days

    Unknown: you

  • Where in the world is the Bumperpodcast?

    Where in the world is the Bumperpodcast?

    People have been wondering all day . . . “Where is my weekly Bumperpodcast fix?!?”

    Well calm down Johnny! It is being worked on. It ts being made and prettied up and it’ll be delivered onto your doorstep tomorrow morning.

    Sit tight.

    Best laid plans – and all of that.

  • Bumperpodcast #26 – Sing, sing, sing!

    Bumperpodcast #26 – Sing, sing, sing!

    We have to keep singing . . . No matter the song. No matter how cracked and tired we sound. We must keep singing!

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    About This Episode

    In this musical episode of Bumperpodcast, Natty Bumpercar embarks on an ambitious medley of classic children's songs and nursery rhymes. From "The Bear Went Over the Mountain" to "The Wheels on the Bus," Natty chains together familiar tunes in increasingly creative and chaotic ways. The episode features references to the farmer in the dell, the muffin man, Old MacDonald, Baa Baa Black Sheep, and many more beloved songs. Throughout the performance, Natty reveals they must keep singing to prevent someone from showing off, and the episode concludes with attempts to sing a baby or "little mountain" to sleep, ending with a rendition of "I Went to the Animal Fair."

    Memorable Quotes

    “You guys, we really have to keep singing, because if we don't, then he's going to show off.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “Go to sleep, little mountain. Sleepy time. Always with the crying.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “Whoa, I think he really went to sleep. Oh, I spoke too soon.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #music #nurseryrhymes #children'ssongs #singing #lullabies #medley

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: The bear went over the mountain to see what he could see. The itsy bitsy spider went up the water spout. Down came the rain and home, home on the range. Where the deer, N-A-B-C-D-E-F-G-H-I-J-K-L-M-N-O-P-Q-R-S-T-U Frere Jacques, Frere Jacques, Dormez-vous, dormez-vous, All around the mulberry bush, the monkey chased the weasel. And then some stuff also happened, and I think the weasel went. The farmer in the dell, Who do you know? The muffin-man in the dell, Who lives next to the farmer, Who lives next to old man, McDonald who had a chicken. Bawk, bawk, bawk, bawk, bawk. Baa, baa, black sheep, have you any wool? Yes, sir, probably I do. There he had a little lamb, little lamb. Row, row, row, row, row, row, your boat to lay down the stream. The wheels on the bus go round and round, round and round, round and round. London Bridge is falling down, falling down. Ah, she'll be coming round the mountain when she comes. You guys, we really We have to keep singing, because if we don't, then he's going to show off. Oh, no. Go to sleep. Go to sleep. Go to sleep, little mountain. Sleepy time. Always with the crying. Go to sleep. Go to sleep. Whoa, I think he really went to sleep. Oh, I spoke too soon. I went to the animal fair. The birds and the bees were there. The old baboon by the light of the moon was combing his auburn hair.

    Unknown: встр nut. . . . . . . . . . .

  • Bumperpodcast #25 – All the roses!

    Bumperpodcast #25 – All the roses!

    It’s the quarter-century mark for the Bumperpodcast!

    And so – we do a little looking around – and a little look back . . . Or at least that is what we were planning on doing. But – since everyone had to go and plan for the party – it was just me . . . and that never really works out . . . Does it?!

    Maybe I’ll just go and clean the shower.

    Boo.

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    About This Episode

    Natty Bumpercar celebrates a milestone in this special 25th episode of the Bumperpodcast! Flying solo for this "epiversary" (episode + anniversary), Natty reflects on the show's journey while the rest of the cast is out planning a secret party. In typical Bumperpodcast fashion, the celebration takes an unexpected turn as Natty rambles about party planning, fancy restaurants, and the time the podcast supposedly threw a party at his house that resulted in… clean dishes and a scrubbed shower? The host contemplates throwing a shower-cleaning party and reaches the "quarter century mark" of episodes in his own unique way.

    Memorable Quotes

    “I was gonna say birth birth to birth birth to birth birth to birth say birth it's the 25th episode and I was trying to figure out how to say birthday but it didn't make sense and so what I ended up saying was it's the 25th epiversary which is episode and anniversary”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “There were lampshades there was trash cans were full dishes were done it was terrible someone had cleaned the shower what kind of party is that”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “Would you guys come to my shower cleaning party? It's gonna be a blast there's gonna be lampshades there's gonna be trash cans full of stuff probably trash”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #milestonecelebration #anniversary #partyplanning #cleaning #soloepisode #humor

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: all righty all righty all righty welcome to the bumper podcast and do you know why this is a very exciting very special episode of the bumper podcast not that they aren't all very special episodes of the bumper podcast of course because every wednesday is special and why because of the bumper podcast well today ladies and gentlemen boys and girls gather around but not too close because i have exciting news today is the 25th epiversary of the bumper podcast i was gonna say birth birth to birth birth to birth birth to birth say birth it's the 25th episode and i was trying to figure out how to say birthday but it didn't make sense and so what i ended up saying was it's the 25th epiversary which is episode and anniversary which now that i say that out loud makes sense even less sense than birth the birth the birth the birth the birthday thing because it said podcast and it wasn't born and it's not the anniversary it's the 25th episode of the bumper podcast can you believe it everybody else i'm sitting here by myself because everybody's out doing some party planning because um we had to go to the party store to get party favors and we had to get streamers and we had to get um all we have gag gifts for the bumper podcast because we're going to go to the party store to get party favors and we had to get streamers and we had to go to a fancy restaurant tonight to have some fancy food for the bumper podcast hey bumper podcast what's your favorite restaurant anyway we were gonna have a party but uh we couldn't because well it's a secret why because but it's why because and that's why because so no parties when we go out this weekend i don't want any bumper podcast to come into my house and start having party because i i know bad things will happen last time i went on vacation came home bumper podcast had a year and a half and i was like i'm gonna go to a fancy restaurant tonight huge party there were lampshades there was trash cans were full dishes were done it was terrible someone had cleaned the shower what kind of party is that anyway who invites people over to have a party and then asks them to clean the shower huh wait a minute hey i might need to have a shower cleaning party here pretty soon i don't know would you guys come to my shower cleaning party it's gonna be a blast there's gonna be lampshades there's gonna be trash cans full of stuff probably trash it's gonna be awesome bumper podcast 25 episodes and this is how i celebrate it's very exciting really when you look back on everything we've talked about the uh uh sheep i think there was a sheep robot maybe some stuff happened i mean definitely totally stuff happened i mean we're at the quarter century mark for the bumper podcast that's a quarter of a hundred of century does that make sense we're at a quarter of the bumper podcast right now right now d and for a present i gave him all the roses all of them you should email me bumper podcast at natty bumper car.com we're so thrilled are you i hope so