Eep! There are beasts out in the waters that are aiming to get ya! What will Natty ever do?!
The Bumperpodcast with Natty Bumpercar is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp around Headquarters, in Coffee-Can Alley, with Natty Bumpercar and his entire gaggle of pals!
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Unknown Speaker 0:03
What is going on bumper podcast? Can tears it’s me Natty Bumpercar. And this is the bumper podcast. And I am so excited after last week’s episode, or yesterday, whenever I don’t know when you’re hearing this, but the last episode, we were having some major audio issues. Evidently someone had moved the wires while we were on vacation. And we came back and started recording and producer was having a tough time. And he’s actually under the board right now kind of trying to make sure everything is set as it should be. But everything we’re seeing everything we’re hearing right now. It seems good. So yeah, we were on vacation, we went to a place called Cape Cod. I think I mentioned that. And it was we’ve been going there for 12 years. And it’s a very nice place and it’s a wonderful vacation. But this year leading up to vacation. You know how it works. Like you’re anticipating something, you’re excited for something. You’re have expectations like, Oh, we’re gonna go to the beach, it’s going to be relaxing, it’s going to be fun. There’s going to be family, there’s going to be sun, we’re going to get ice cream, all these things. We’re going to go in though in the water and boogie board. Which I kind of now want to know the etymology of boogie board, are you there’s no boat, there’s no dancing going on on these boards. Kind of boat. What are you gonna do? I’m gonna go out and Boogie in the waves okay with my board. Oh, it’s a boogie board. But this year, in the months Matson month leading up to our big trip, the news for force where it was dug great white sharks found in massive droves and numbers off the shores of Cape Cod. And I was like, oh, that’s, that’s that’s where we’re going. Okay, well, that’s kind of weird. That’s a little scary. But we’ve been going there for so long and we’ve you know, kind of done our research as it were and know that kind of where we are is generally not where they’re talking about there’s there’s another side where there are more sharks because they go there to visit their their seal friends. All their friends who are seals are on the other side. And the sharks typically like to go over and, and hang out with them. They’re like, hey, seals, do you guys want to play pickup ball and the seals are like or whatever the seals say? And then magic happens. So that I was moderately okay with that. Now, this year, there was a wrinkle thrown into the news reports, where there was actually something else in the waters something insidious, something evil, called a man o war, not even a man of war. No, no, this thing it actually has an apostrophe in its name. Like if you’re going down to Ocala hands to have a lovely drink, and maybe some sort of
Unknown Speaker 3:20
have what kind of food shepherd’s pie There we go. So man o war, this me this creature doesn’t even have time to say of oh, man, Anwar. And it’s kind of like a jellyfish, but it’s evidently not a jellyfish. But it has these tentacles, that are said, can be up to 30 feet long. So if there’s a jellyfish type of organism in the water, that’s 30 feet away, I’m not going to see it, I’m not going to know it’s there. So I could be out, you know, galavanting in the waves, maybe doing some boogie boarding, whatever I do, and then all of a sudden, zap zap, zap zap, and, and then you’re in pain and then everything is is miserable. And so and the evidence like they it was they, I forget what the word they use, but it was like droves or large numbers of men or war. And then they showed the beach. They were like, they highlighted they pinpointed the beach where these creatures were and it was it was our it was like next to our beach. And and so and I don’t feel like you know, so if it was next to our beach. I don’t feel like you know, man, a war or the type of creatures that are like, You know what, we’re just going to go to beach a today and we’re going to stay there. We’re not going to go over to beach b We’re not going to I think they might drift. I don’t think that they’re going to Stay at one beach, you know beach see as wonderful lunch options, but I think we’re just gonna stay here today. No, they’re gonna they’re gonna be like, you know, we’re in the ocean, we’re gonna go wherever we want to go. And it’s fine because we’re man, no war. And that’s I feel like how they sound as they’re floating around with their third who needs 30 foot long tentacles? Like what are you doing with those? Can you imagine 30 foot long tentacles? It’s Friday night they the men of Oregon to get together and go out to some parties and oh, how long is it gonna take for them to get the tentacles done? You know to get to or they’re going to curl them or they’re going to I don’t know what what man award do with their with their tentacles, but it just seems like it seems unruly. You know, like you ever see at a at a wedding at A Royal Wedding type of thing. And there’s like a princess. And she’s got a wedding dress on. And sometimes behind a wedding dress it gets doesn’t have to be a wedding dress. It could be any dress, but they’ll have a thing called a train. And that’s that long thing of fabric that goes behind the dress. There’s a train behind you. Is that Is that what it’s like for the Manoir? There’s just a train of icky mean, spiky? I don’t think they’re spiky. They’re just gooey, right? I don’t know. So, but it brought back terror because a long time ago, I want to say like eight years ago, so my kid would have been how it was much younger, that’s all I know. But he was out in the water. And I don’t it wasn’t a man of war, it was actually jellyfish. And he got zip, zap, Zip Zap. And there’s nothing more terrifying to a child. Or I mean, you know, mostly child, but I think regular you’re just older people too. But to be in the water having the time of your life. It’s so freeing. There’s the sun, there’s seagulls, there’s all my cousins, I’m having a nice time. And then zap. And if you’re in pain, and the way that jellyfish I don’t know if you’ve been stung by them, but I hope you have not. But if you have not, I’m going to tell you about it. It they, their little tentacles wrap around. So he had lines around his legs with like red dots, like, you know, every inch or so is zap zap, zap, zap, zap, zap. And he I mean, I had to rush in to get the child. And then we got him out and we looked at it. And then you’re trying to figure out and says, Oh, what is it not not vinegar, it’s not
Unknown Speaker 7:52
alcohol, it’s, I forget what it’s called Exactly. But you have to put stuff on there to ammonia, that’s what it was you have to put ammonia on there to to make the hurt go away basically. But we didn’t happen to have any ammonia handy. And so then we had to rush him over to the drugstore. And you know, it’s that fun thing where you run into the store and you’re holding the child over your head kind of like Simba was being held in Lion King and you’re just like how do we fix this because a child is screaming and crying and we’ve put ice packs on his legs and you know just done everything we can to try to make them feel better. And they actually sell like a jelly fish kits and you know like fix fix and fix them up quick fix them up kits. And you know whatever it was we put it on there and it did make it better but then the child is traumatized. You’re looking out of the ocean and you’re like that’s not the nice place that I thought it was. That’s not my happy place. There’s evil out there and then that evil wants to wrap its tentacles around me. And zap zap zap zap zap zap Zip Zap so you know that changes changes a lot of things Surreal Life Lesson Hey them with a water’s not all good. Don’t go see Jaws don’t do it. It’s about a it’s about a mean mean shark. Right you know they I’m surprised they haven’t done a jellyfish. A movie like that. Or maybe they have I don’t know. I guess it’d be kind of hard because, you know, JAWS it’s like oh yeah, there’s that shark I see him but with jellyfish you’re just like I don’t know if that’s the one that zip zap me because there’s a jellyfish they kind of look like blobs. blobs of jelly. Which is hard to be scared of. You know maybe maybe it’s not just like one jellyfish terrorizing down Hola. That’d be pretty amazing. Sir. We have that one with the one jellyfish is back and he’s after this one family. He’s got he’s got a bone to pick You know that jellyfish doesn’t have any bones. He’s made of jelly. Like that’s what the town meeting would be. So, you know, fast forward now we had that experience the trauma of the jellyfish and then we fast forward to now we have men Oh war man of war I feel like demand Anwar eight Lucky Charms I feel like they could I feel like they should. I feel like if I was a man of war, I would certainly eat some lucky charms. But so you know, the kids are going out and about into the water. And, you know, there were tears because I had to break the news like, hey, we can go in the water. But there’s this thing out there we got to watch out for. And it’s really hard to because you’re like, like, watch out for what blobs of jelly that are 30 feet away from you? Well, that’s does that’s not doable. So you know, it’s it’s a little bit precarious. That’s the kind of situation it is. It’s a precarious situation out in the water, with sharks and man a war. But what we did is we’re smart about it. If we saw a group of people out in the water, we’re like, Okay, that seems kind of safe. That’s our that’s our people fence. Right? I mean, I guess the man of war could have thrown their little scary things in through the people and gotten us but they did. So we had a wonderful vacation. And we’re thrilled to be back. And we’re thrilled to be here in the bumper barn. And we’re thrilled to be talking to you and we’re hoping that you are doing amazingly well. And that you are having the best days of your life. Not Days Day. Right. I hope you right now is the best. Like it’s gonna be days, whatever it is. Anyway, I am Natty Bumpercar. This is the bumper podcast. And, you know, go out there and do something nice for yourself. Do something nice for someone else. Even if it’s a man of war, even if you see a man of war coming down the street at you. You could give them a little hi how you doing? Little wave and avoid you know, if you if they wave back at you. Make sure to avoid the tentacles because you don’t want those don’t don’t High Five them. Don’t give them a handshake because that’s not going to end well for you. But, yeah, just you take care and I’ll talk to you soon. All right, I’m Natty Bumpercar.
Unknown Speaker 12:42
The bumper podcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp with Natty Bumpercar and some of his pals. It is family friendly, clean and ridiculous. Thanks a bundle for listening. If you love our show, and you’d like to help support the podcast, check out our Patreon page at https colon forward slash forward slash www.patreon.com forward slash Natty Bumpercar also pretty please subscribe wherever you get your podcasts, share it with everyone everywhere. post about it on all of the social medias or leave a rating and review. The bumper podcast is produced at headquarters in coffee Ken alley. It’s recorded mixed and produced by producer. The bumper podcast features contributions from Aloysius jpg Rufus T Rufus doodle poodle, robot trunks and a gaggle of other silly rascals. Our head talker is probably Natty Bumpercar. We also have an absurd newsletter. Check it out and subscribe at Natty bumpercar.com/subscribe Also, you can follow me on Instagram and Twitter at Natty Bumpercar Hugs and hearts See you soon.
Unknown Speaker 14:01
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Transcribed by https://otter.ai
Every week, Natty Bumpercar presents a few ounces of ridiculousness with a dash or two of stupefaction. It's totes banoo!