A new burger place by the name of “Five Guys” which touts “Famous Burgers and Fries” recently opened up over in the Edgewood shopping community thing. I decided that there was probably no better way to use my time than to eat there and eat there and possibly eat there before you even did so that I could be in a greater position to give you the low down.
I had heard of this – okay I have to take a quick pause here – I was going to call this a “mini-chain” because I thought they were the little guys sticking their burger making heads into new and exciting markets – but then I went to their locations page and found that there are actually 134 (one hundred and thirty four) stores all the way from New York to Florida – oh well – I guess that gives me liberty to skip any history that I had with the place and jump right into how it was.
Oh – how I do enjoy the tasty taste of the tasty treats that I have had both times that I have been there. When you walk in, the company colors of white and red are everywhere – including on the large menu that hangs over the two cash (money) registers which are flanked (ha – a meat joke!) by an open kitchen. The menu is pretty simple – there are burgers, hot dogs, fries (cooked in yummy peanut oil), drinks and evidently the “veggie or grilled cheese” for all of those out there.
On my first visit I ordered a bacon cheeseburger with mayo, relish, lettuce, tomatoes, fried onions, sauteed mushrooms and ketchup – a couple of things to know – the regular burger is 1/2 (one half) pound – all of the toppings (including the fried onions and sauteed mushrooms – but not the bacon or cheese) are free – and if you have to wait in line awhile – there is a bin full of free peanuts ready to be shelled and eaten on the spot. Both times I also got a drink (the coke is so good and perfect – for my tastes – heavy on the syrup but with enough bubbles to tickle my fancy – if you don’t mind me saying) and an order of the fries (the cajun version – which just adds a sprinkle of flavor magic – hooray). I felt like I was going to pass out from all of the eating – in fact – it is highly possible that I did nod off a couple of times before “finishing” the burger and taking home a bag of fries.
And by putting “finishing” in quotes – I should point out that I in no way actually finished the burger – my stomach is tiny . . . like the stomach of a baby bird.
The second time I got the “little” version of the same burger – which was only 1/4 (one quarter) pound of perfect. Everything was as great as the first time – it was no fluke at all . . . I will do it again – but not before I go and get another Ghetto Burger from my pal “Miss Ann” so that I can better judge who will be the burger champ of my heart – and by heart – I may mean the one that eventually stops it from eating too much red meat – and bacon and cheese and fried onions and sauteed mushrooms and flavor magic – hooray!
My stomach may just end up turning into a battlefield for true burger supremacy . . . a gastrointestinal battle the likes of which hasn’t been seen in these parts in some umpteenth times . . . but I am willing to sacrifice myself for that very cause – and see it through to the bitter end. Onward – my trusty stomach. Onward and with my complete lack of exercise – surely – outward . . . we ride.
